Less Alcohol - NOVEMBER 2020 - One Day at a Time

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Replies

  • Jaybo37
    Jaybo37 Posts: 103 Member
    I had 3 glasses of wine with dinner, enjoyed it - 2 would have done but habits die hard. Anyway it was enjoyable and I feel ready with no resentment to start another stretch of AF, I’ve managed 6 so far. Feeling fresh this morning too, so no lost days this month
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,950 Member
    globalhiker wrote: »
    My goal today and every day is to do something that makes me happy.

    Thank you for that!
    I am taking it to heart.
    As well as trying to get more beans and legumes into my diet : - )
  • dawnbgethealthy
    dawnbgethealthy Posts: 7,950 Member
    I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
    My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.

    I check in diary style. It works for me.

    Sunday November 01 - AF - I have been working like crazy in the yard and really wanted to have a couple drinks this evening, but just didn't want to start the month out that way. I have moved my Monday jobs to later in the week so that I can get as much as possible done in putting my gardens to bed before the rain and colder weather comes on Wednesday.
    Monday November 02 - AF - Finally finished digging up the rest of the potato garden, pulling every weed and it is now covered until Spring. Hard physical labour, but the good kind. I definitely felt like having a drink, but I have to work very early tomorrow so didn't.
    Tuesday November 03 - Drinks. Broke my rule and drank from long day work stress instead of saving my drinks days for happy days. I have been pretty good about this, just kind of failed on it today. I did feel better immediately though, left the stupid workday behind!
    Wednesday November 04 - AF - A really good day working for my favourite company, and then home in time to get more work done in my yard while we are in a warm spell. Would have been a nice day for a drink, but of course I "used up" a drinking day for stress relief already.
    Thursday November 05 - AF - Had to get my 2AF in a row.
    Friday November 06 - Drinks with a friend. Almost threw up. We had some new sort of Bailey's called "Red Velvet Cupcake". I guess that it went down way too easy. It was delicious, but too easy to drink too much of. I poured mine very small, but lost track. I know once I feel like puking that I have had more than 3 ounces because my body rejects more than 3 ounces.
    Saturday November 07 - AF - got it out of my system I guess.
    Sunday November 08 - AF - I was invited by my friend who I hiked with today for Hot Toddy's after our chilly walk. I respectfully declined in favour of my 2nd AF day in a row.
    Monday November 09 - AF - Got lots done today out in the chilly weather. Would have had a Brandy, but settled for a Cocoa with Banana extract and Stevia. It was lovely. Early long work day tomorrow, so AF tonight.

    Rolling total. 7AF day out of 9 days
  • Lilylady3k
    Lilylady3k Posts: 4,025 Member
    2 glasses of wine ... handed the 3rd poured for me to DH.

    Leaving the camp tomorrow!
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,812 Member
    globalhiker wrote: »
    Week 1 stats: 9 drinks (goal max was 4); AF 4 days

    A bit overboard, like more than double. Disappointed. But today starts Week 2, and I will try for better so I can still make my monthly goal. I need to do this for me.

    And yes having a purpose and a plan is rewarding. And we need to make today a very good day.....

    YES NEW WEEK TO START FRESH. you can do this.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,812 Member
    Thanks @dawnbgethealthy I can see you understand the burning rewards of wood. I do not get the same wow factor sitting in front of propane flames. In August when we went for that long weekend away. The couples home we visited had a huge deck with a propane fire. All they kept saying was how easy it was, all I kept thinking was how boring it was.
    My firepit is enormous outside. I built it myself.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,812 Member
    Safe travels home @globalhiker .
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 4,336 Member
    Thank you @MissMay !
  • globalhiker
    globalhiker Posts: 1,765 Member
    @dawnbgethealthy first time I heard of cocoa with banana extract but that sounds YUMMY.

    @MissMay I agree Motivation and Support sounds like the right place.

    Today the goal is to make it the best day I can. It starts with a 4.5 mile hill run, now.....
  • LoveyChar
    LoveyChar Posts: 4,336 Member
    @globalhiker Thank you! Like you are seeing your son, I'm seeing my husband get bigger and bigger too (he'd fall in the overweight category but not obese, yet) and he does take much of what I say as criticism. He turned 40 last week and we have a two-year-old and I'd like him to be around for at least another 40 more years, I stress the at least part.

    I will take your advice and be patient and I am always working on myself, always always always. Not perfect, but always a work in progress until the day I die.

    I hope your son comes around soon. I think it's so much harder to deal with when it's your child. You have an uplifting attitude, hopefully he'll take wind.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Here are my proposed changes to transition to the M&S forum. Most of the changes are in the "Using Our Thread" section to take out the challenge language. I also cleaned up a few grammar problems I must have missed when I put that together a million years ago..

    ~THIS IS A MONTHLY CONTINUING THREAD THAT HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE AS FAR BACK AS 2017. WELCOME ~

    Do you want to drink LESS?

    Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!

    I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.

    Be kind to the person you will wake up as.

    Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.

    ▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪

    USING OUR THREAD:
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •This is a thread to support those who want to change their relationship with alcohol. You decide what “change” means to you.
    •Post as often or as little as you want or need.
    •AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
    •To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
    •Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!

    TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
    •Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
    •If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
    •There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
    •For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
    •You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
    •Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
    •You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
    •If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
    •Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
    •Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
    •It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
    •Some days will be easier than others.
    •You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
    •You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
    •Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
    •Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
    •Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to carry out your goals.
    •Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30-day experiment which can be joined anonymously.

    Life with Less Alcohol:
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
    •There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
    •You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are many real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
    •You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
    •Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
    •Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
    •It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
    •Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
    •Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
    •You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
    •It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
    •Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it does not enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
    •Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
    •If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
    •For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.

    Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
    •Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
    •Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
    •Increased energy after as few as 2 days
    •Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity, and their world was decreased in size.
    •Increased productivity
    •Reduction of high blood pressure
    •Lower resting heart rate
    •Less Acid Re-flux
    •Significant financial savings
    •More creativity
    •More productivity
    •Better relationships with family

    When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
    •We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
    •We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
    •The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
    •Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
    •Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.

    How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
    •Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
    •Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
    •Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
    •We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
    •Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
    •Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
    •You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".

    LINKS:
    ▪▪▪▪
    •Mydrinkaware:
    https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk

    •A Sharing Site for Women:
    http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/

    •General Information/Blog Sites:
    https://thesoberschool.com/
    http://www.hipsobriety.com/
    https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
    https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
    https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/

    •Sobriety Blog:
    http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/

    •The Thirty Day Experiment:
    https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/

    •Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
    https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp

    •The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision

    •Summary of Book on Addiction:
    https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

    •Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
    https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink

    •To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
    http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/

    •Guided Meditations:
    http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

    ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
    ▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
    •Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
    https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep

    •Mocktail Recipes:
    https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
    https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
    https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/

    APPS:
    ▪▪▪▪
    •Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
    •Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
    •nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
    •Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features

    BOOKS:
    ▪▪▪▪
    •The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
    •Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
    •Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
    •The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
    •The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
    •Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
    •Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
    •Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
    •The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
    •Alcohol Explained by William Porter


    Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
    For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,812 Member
    Well hello @NovusDies. This is YOUR month isn't it? The month that changed your life? Thank you for the tweaks to the intro page information.
    I am also going to replace the word "members" with the word "users". Members sounds way to formal, secluded and private.
    Hope your doing well.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    MissMay wrote: »
    Well hello @NovusDies. This is YOUR month isn't it? The month that changed your life? Thank you for the tweaks to the intro page information.
    I am also going to replace the word "members" with the word "users". Members sounds way to formal, secluded and private.
    Hope your doing well.

    I am. Just plugging along trying to figure out what is next.

    I was looking over it trying to figure out a way to shorten it. The problem is the tips came from user experiences so you really can't know which may be meaningful to the next person to come along. The reason all those books and web resources are there is because people were routinely asking for them.

    But that is a LOT.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,812 Member
    You did a fine job putting it together way back when and we have always and still do get thanks from new users for the wealth of information.
    It is time for us to stop promoting ourselves as a "challenge ". I find challenges are short term events.
    😊

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