We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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I was too immature...0
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He kept telling knock knock jokes0
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Strictly for tax purposes only...0
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I found out he was on the lamb for Tax Evasion. 😲0
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I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul...and unconditional love...0
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He’d already given his soul away 😒0
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My method of resolving issues was based solely on the results of a game of tic-tac-toe...0
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He cheated at Tic-Tac-Toe0
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Every time I annoyed her she put tacks in my toe and hair growth pills in my tic tacs.1
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She promised me pumpkin pancakes and didn’t deliver. ☹️0
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She'd stay out all night just to get pumpkin pancakes for breakfast 🥴0
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I didn’t provide sufficient PPE...1
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His E was fine but the P’s weren’t sufficient1
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Because we got separated in the zombiepocolypse0
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I sometimes moan in my sleep and once woke up to her swinging a hatchet to my head 😧
Luckily I screamed out " What the He🏒🏒!" And she stopped mid air not two inches from me.
I need to be able to sleep and moan and snore without worrying about being mistaken for the Undead! 😞
🧟🧟♀️🧟♂️0 -
I think she's a zombie0
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she was taller than me in her boots!0
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He said those boots are made for walking....and that's just what I did1
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Much like a flip-phone, she said I had become obsolete...0
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He said my flip flops flipped and flipped too much0
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She always spoke in code, particularly when referring to “flip-flops”...0
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Preferred my crocs over my flip flops because "if you ain't crocin' you ain't rockin".... and I had to say that every time I put them on...0
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walked in on me getting an ashiatsu massage and was grossed out0
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He had a obsession off my dog...0
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He gave his dog more cuddles than me0
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She wasn't a dog person0
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Of your inability to walk like an Egyptian...0
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he mummified my dog.. *before* it died
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Her definition of experimenting was not my definition of experimenting...0
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He never cleaned his test tubes and beakers after experimenting0
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