How do you decide what your "normal/ideal" is?

I'm not seeing the loose skin where it normally would be.
Good work, and yes good amount of muscle there too.

Appears to be healthy weight range for you, always pick about 2 kg range to maintain in, maybe more.

If you have a very regular routine, and therefore after a month can discern what maintenance eating level it - you could add as little as 100 extra daily and see how that effects some strong workouts and body composition.
If that 100 was actually over maintenance the entire time - it would take 35 days to slowly gain 1 lb - so shouldn't be too much to cause issues, but can effect workouts and recovery.

I think you look good where you are. Further, I think that most people - those who don't have a distorted body image in some way - can recognize, by how they feel and look, when they've reached a good weight. If that weight is maintainable on a sustainable calorie intake and exercise schedule, that's the golden spot.

I don't think *you* have a distorted body image, though I'm judging only from your photos and your remarks here. When I think "distorted body image", I think of those sad cases we sometimes see here of young women who are ultra, ultra thin already but fussed about belly fat (because they have a uterus) or lack of thigh gap/snatched waist or something . . . or the (not necessarily problematic) "I'm so muscular that I should be at an overweight BMI" group who are clearly still carrying some extra bodyfat (and are not dramatically muscular or wide-framed). You are neither of those: You look strong and healthy.

You are slender by most standards in my surroundings, and people here are not so used to seeing slender. Here, it's socially and statistically "normal" to be a bit overweight to a lot overweight, and that starts to look right to people. I think there's quite a range of weight, for most people, that could be reasonably healthy; beyond that it's a matter of preference and practicality. You appear to be in that sensible range.

Like you, I tend to go quite thin above my waist relatively early in weight loss, while still holding some lower body fat (mostly between waist and upper thighs). Compared to those sites with photos of women's bodies at various body fat percents, I think my upper body looks high teens-ish, and lower looks 25% or a bit above. My BIA scale (which is far from an accurate source) suggests around 23% BF, as does the "Navy Calculator", at 5'5"/165cm, 125lbs/56.7kg, BMI 20.8. Low/mid 20s BF% is fine for me, IMO. You could consider what some of those estimates suggest for you, too, if you like - if it would be reassuring.

When I first lost weight, some of my friends/family kind of freaked out about it, saying I was too thin, skin & bones, blah blah blah - even some usually sensible people. It's not common to see people lose weight moderately fast/steadily, frankly. They're used to seeing us look a different way. The new way looks "wrong". If those friends/family are maybe a little heavy themselves, and inclined to rationalize, that reaction becomes even more likely. In my experience: They get used to it, and the comments fade. (Expect a future phase with "you're lucky you don't need to worry about your weight" every time you eat cake, and other nonsense like that. Ignore that, too. 😆)

A couple of years later, I asked a close, sensible and very honest friend why she'd reacted the way she did (at one point, she even mentioned worry about anorexia, when I was eating > 2000 calories daily, and losing at around half a pound a week!). She said she wasn't sure, but she thought that shock and maybe some envy were in the mix. Further, she said (at that couple years on stage) that she'd gotten used to me looking as I did, and I no longer looked alarming to her.

BTW: I thing that helped me along the way was talking with my doctor about my weight goals. Prospectively, he was fine with anything in the normal BMI range (😆), so I could legit tell people "my doctor is happy with my weight goals". If you happen to see a doctor for something, you could ask, and maybe get that tactic in your toolkit for quieting complaints, too.

It's also very normal, IMO, for us to "look wrong" to ourselves for a while after loss, not necessarily to look too thin or fat, but for our mind to see a different (earlier version) self image, rather than an updated one. Self image catches up eventually. At first, my new clothes looked absurdly tiny, like they'd never fit on my body . . . even when they did. Stuff like that. That, too, changes with time, IME. Brains are weird. 😉

You don't have visible loose skin that I can see, but I can accept that there might be some hiding somewhere under clothes. My experience was that my loose skin kept shrinking at least into my 2nd year of maintenance, very slowly. So, that can still change. You do have some nice muscularity shaping up, so good show! Obviously, if you keep doing good progressive strength training with sensible nutrition, your muscularity can also keep increasing (and might lead you to change your mind about body weight, longer term - your call).

From what I see in these photos, and from reading what you've written, I think you have a sensible view of yourself, well-adjusted, all that good stuff. And you should be proud of what you'd achieved, for sure! The rest of the world (and the odd corner of your own brain) will catch up, with time. For now, try to let it roll off, and trust yourself.

P.S. This is not why I usually recommend this thread, but if you want some views of what normal women look like in/around the normal BMI weight zone, the uterus thread is a good one:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat/p1

Your "How much visible bone and muscle definition is normal/expected when in the normal weight range" question plays well with that thread, because the thread explicitly asks about BMI, exercise routine, and other specifics like that, so you can see a range of women, and most of the photos show more than midsection. There are lots of before/after threads around here, but many of those lack the metrics. I would underscore, though, that any photo thread probably over-selects a bit for people who are happy with their bodies, so skewing toward looking good. I'd also say that you'd be a great contributor to bump that thread, if you'd like to participate in it.

AnnPT77 wrote: »

A couple of years later, I asked a close, sensible and very honest friend why she'd reacted the way she did (at one point, she even mentioned worry about anorexia, when I was eating > 2000 calories daily, and losing at around half a pound a week!). She said she wasn't sure, but she thought that shock and maybe some envy were in the mix. Further, she said (at that couple years on stage) that she'd gotten used to me looking as I did, and I no longer looked alarming to her.

That's very interesting.
One of my chubby friends, who has been intending to lose weight for the entire 25+ years I've known her, thought I looked "gaunt and scrawny" when I initially lost weight (I was still slightly over the top of the BMI normal range at that stage!) many months later opined I looked much better now I had regained some weight.
Except I hadn't, I was actually lighter and leaner. I think my face had changed a bit but not as much of a factor as her simply getting used to seeing me at a healthy weight.

Congrats on using the word slender @AnnPT77
A very under-used word.