What's on your mind?
Replies
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I love this.....and damn fond of you as well. You are a pretty special woman.
WTH how do posts like this earn the disagrees? SMH Some people are weird.
Haha guess I wasn't the 1st to mention it.
Happy New Year everyone!! May it be one to remember and not in all the ways 2020 has been.4 -
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Motorsheen wrote: »
operating on one cup of coffee, I read this as 'Goat Smashing' and thought:
"Dang, 2021 is certainly off to a weird start."
Haha I read goal smashing in YOUR post and couldn't figure out why that is weird. Lol
Then I saw the t and giggled.1 -
My first official act of the year was burning my tongue on hot coffee.
I'm sure that toddler deserved the goat beat-down.7 -
Goats are adorable arseholes. Haha
Thanks for the laughs!
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I wonder how many people in the world, like me, are excited about the new year and losing weight. Getting their diets planned, groceries shopped, planning workouts, making spreadsheets lol. I'm kind of surprised the grocery stores are open.
...and I wonder how I will feel about this comment six months from now. Hopefully, good.6 -
I don't like food prep or planning. Hate it.
I am excited about lifting, and hopefully shedding a few pounds of fat yet.
I really want to hit a 200lb squat (5x5). It's my nemesis and I'm a bit scared of it, so I have been going slowly.
But if I could never worry about food and just have the right stuff magically there for me. That would be a dream come true.4 -
I feel sad. There are so many people who want to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time. 30lb in 3m. 52 pounds in 52 weeks. Etc.
I think it's great to have ambition, but I know how disappointing and demotivating it can be when you don't reach those goals. I try not to go into those threads because I don't want to *kitten* on their enthusiasm... But I just want to tell them to slow the roll a bit. Remember the last twenty will often take a LOT longer than the first 20. That the speed with which the weight drops is not as important as the process and steps you take to get there.
I hope people reach their goals. But I hope it's done in a healthy and sustainable way.
Maybe I need to resurrect my get rich quick thread.
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Being reminded yet again that I don't fit in anywhere and no group will ever be for me. I never feel at home, I'm always wandering and eventually, I drift away because I'm treated as virtually invisible, or that I'm too old, despite the thing bringing us together existing in MY formative years, not theirs.
A recent example: I left a group revolving around a musical group we all enjoy. Not only did it become blatantly obvious that I was on the "old" side, despite the group's formation happening when I was in college +10 years ago, but that politically and intrinsically, I would probably not get along with them. They ignored me most times when I would contribute to conversation, they kept making really erroneous statements in regards to gun control/safety/DoD regulations (things I have a lot of experience with). And mentally, I'm always struggling with "imposter syndrome". Always struggling with feeling left out, with being excluded, etc. And this just made it worse.
It's such a lovely way to start 2021.
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KosmosKitten wrote: »Being reminded yet again that I don't fit in anywhere and no group will ever be for me. I never feel at home, I'm always wandering and eventually, I drift away because I'm treated as virtually invisible, or that I'm too old, despite the thing bringing us together existing in MY formative years, not theirs.
A recent example: I left a group revolving around a musical group we all enjoy. Not only did it become blatantly obvious that I was on the "old" side, despite the group's formation happening when I was in college +10 years ago, but that politically and intrinsically, I would probably not get along with them. They ignored me most times when I would contribute to conversation, they kept making really erroneous statements in regards to gun control/safety/DoD regulations (things I have a lot of experience with). And mentally, I'm always struggling with "imposter syndrome". Always struggling with feeling left out, with being excluded, etc. And this just made it worse.
It's such a lovely way to start 2021.
I struggle HARD with imposter syndrome. Worried that people don't like me, or wouldn't like me in real life, or that people just tolerate me. Worry that if people really knew me they, they wouldn't want me... And yet I tend to overcompensate by calling my flaws out. Almost as if it'll somehow hurt less if I scare them off first.
It's a really sh!tty feeling and I wish you didn't feel that way.
FWIW... I appreciate you. I miss you when you're gone. I am happy when I see you. And I think about you a lot these days. I hope that this year brings relief to your hurting heart, because I believe it's a beautiful and caring one. ❤️6 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Being reminded yet again that I don't fit in anywhere and no group will ever be for me. I never feel at home, I'm always wandering and eventually, I drift away because I'm treated as virtually invisible, or that I'm too old, despite the thing bringing us together existing in MY formative years, not theirs.
A recent example: I left a group revolving around a musical group we all enjoy. Not only did it become blatantly obvious that I was on the "old" side, despite the group's formation happening when I was in college +10 years ago, but that politically and intrinsically, I would probably not get along with them. They ignored me most times when I would contribute to conversation, they kept making really erroneous statements in regards to gun control/safety/DoD regulations (things I have a lot of experience with). And mentally, I'm always struggling with "imposter syndrome". Always struggling with feeling left out, with being excluded, etc. And this just made it worse.
It's such a lovely way to start 2021.
Know that you have the right - and mirror responsibility - to take up space, to exist, to share, to be heard, as well as seen. That cannot be taken from you and I hope you never consider relinquishing it.
ETA: but also what does the music's enjoyment have to do with military defense regulations? 😭3 -
Know that you have the right - and mirror responsibility - to take up space, to exist, to share, to be heard, as well as seen. That cannot be taken from you and I hope you never consider relinquishing it.
ETA: but also what does the music's enjoyment have to do with military defense regulations? 😭
Nothing. They just happen to have a channel in the Discord to discuss politics and someone brought it up. I normally mute that channel as I don't want to be in a music Discord to discuss heavy topics like politics or current events going on of that nature. The channels exist to keep the general channel from getting clogged by those topics, or topics of health (questions people might have that others can help with), serious issues (talk about suicide, self-harm or just anything super heavy that a person might be going through) and few other things. Each of those topics have their own unique channel in the discord you can go through.
Really, what solidified my desire to leave was constantly being ignored when I would say something or contribute. I was just being reminded of how often that happens to me in actual life.. where I'll be having a conversation and be completely ignored for someone else more "compelling, attractive, charismatic, etc." It's like I'm just not there.3 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Being reminded yet again that I don't fit in anywhere and no group will ever be for me. I never feel at home, I'm always wandering and eventually, I drift away because I'm treated as virtually invisible, or that I'm too old, despite the thing bringing us together existing in MY formative years, not theirs.
A recent example: I left a group revolving around a musical group we all enjoy. Not only did it become blatantly obvious that I was on the "old" side, despite the group's formation happening when I was in college +10 years ago, but that politically and intrinsically, I would probably not get along with them. They ignored me most times when I would contribute to conversation, they kept making really erroneous statements in regards to gun control/safety/DoD regulations (things I have a lot of experience with). And mentally, I'm always struggling with "imposter syndrome". Always struggling with feeling left out, with being excluded, etc. And this just made it worse.
It's such a lovely way to start 2021.
I am sorry you feel that.. 😔 I know nothing I or anyone says can change it but I want you to know.. I think you are
great, you keep it real. You are a very talented drawer and crafter ( I can't knit or crochet😬) you're humble and interesting and I love your selfies.. you are a real beauty.
PS.. not that it matters what I think.. but I just wanted to say I think you're pretty freaking cool.6 -
A note: Here (MFP) is probably one of the few places I feel "at home". People come from all over the world, with all sorts of different viewpoints and we're all in kinda various degrees of "getting on track". I like it here, even though I haven't managed to do anything with my health or fitness journey in like.. three years.
Clearly, I like it here. My login record is at 515 days so far, lol. Y'all are great and I appreciate you. Just feelin' down about my own personal failures (I guess).8 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »A note: Here (MFP) is probably one of the few places I feel "at home". People come from all over the world, with all sorts of different viewpoints and we're all in kinda various degrees of "getting on track". I like it here, even though I haven't managed to do anything with my health or fitness journey in like.. three years.
Clearly, I like it here. My login record is at 515 days so far, lol. Y'all are great and I appreciate you. Just feelin' down about my own personal failures (I guess).
I get that. I'm having a really low day today too. Well aware of all my failures, weaknesses and faults. (in all areas of my life). You ok with a hug? Sure could use one myself.6 -
@KosmosKitten @KickassAmazon76
I've been reading your posts. I get it. New Year's has a way of doing this to a person. I have been keeping journals for a very long time and I went back and looked. You're right on target to feel this way because I feel this very same way on almost every New Year.
Between New Year's optimism and I wasn't born yesterday so I can't fool myself realism, between gung-ho and ho-hum is my balance. I don't have any New Year's resolutions. I only want to be caught between completely overreaching and totally underachieving. Don't go anywhere.
I made my own threads so I can do everything on my own terms. I give myself permission to do my own thinking. I know myself and so do both of you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms1MY9SP7f4
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Diatonic12 wrote: »@KosmosKitten @KickassAmazon76
I've been reading your posts. I get it. New Year's has a way of doing this to a person. I have been keeping journals for a very long time and I went back and looked. You're right on target to feel this way because I feel this very same way on almost every New Year.
Between New Year's optimism and I wasn't born yesterday so I can't fool myself realism, between gung-ho and ho-hum is my balance. I don't have any New Year's resolutions. I only want to be caught between completely overreaching and totally underachieving. Don't go anywhere.
I made my own threads so I can do everything on my own terms. I give myself permission to do my own thinking. I know myself and so do both of you.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms1MY9SP7f4
Thank you. You hit it pretty spot on. I used to be someone who was full of hopes and dreams and goals. Over the last decade, the periods of the most hope often occurred shortly before the greatest devastations.
I have begun to equate hope with tragedy. I hate that, but it's been the story I've lived.
Some days it's challenging to see every one expressing so much hope, while the whole time that cynical voice in my head is telling me that it's just not for me.
Sorry guys and gals. I'll try to resume regular sunshiny programming tomorrow.
Effing pms.
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Goats are adorable arseholes. Haha
Thanks for the laughs!
Kinda cute little monsters aren't they?
One of my wonderful former daycare families comes and picks up our used Christmas tree every year to take to somebody local for their goats. Win-win 4 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »
Nothing. They just happen to have a channel in the Discord to discuss politics and someone brought it up. I normally mute that channel as I don't want to be in a music Discord to discuss heavy topics like politics or current events going on of that nature. The channels exist to keep the general channel from getting clogged by those topics, or topics of health (questions people might have that others can help with), serious issues (talk about suicide, self-harm or just anything super heavy that a person might be going through) and few other things. Each of those topics have their own unique channel in the discord you can go through.
Really, what solidified my desire to leave was constantly being ignored when I would say something or contribute. I was just being reminded of how often that happens to me in actual life.. where I'll be having a conversation and be completely ignored for someone else more "compelling, attractive, charismatic, etc." It's like I'm just not there.
Oh my.
You sound just like how I have felt over the years. Never have anything worthwhile to add. Pretend to be someone you're not to fit in. On and on and on
I read something awhile back about realizing the difference between fact and what you perceive. So many times I've adjusted my thinking by telling myself whatever I was feeling wasn't based on fact. Ex., I'd be walking down the street and a group of people just chatting would start laughing. I'd automatically think it was about me; something funny looking or I was 'off' in some way.
I had myself so convinced. Not anymore. I get inside my head and have a talk with me.
Kosmos, I wish so much you weren't feeling those feelings of no self worth and low self esteem and not belonging. It pains me also to read those words. You're one of my favorite people here because I feel I can believe and trust everything you say. You're real and honest.
I hope you can recapture love for yourself somehow because you deserve every bit of it!3 -
It's weird. I look at all of you who are struggling, so down on yourselves and what I see is so much different than what you all are feeling about yourselves.
We all need different mirrors and definitely more self love.
My bestest dear friend is always striving to be better, be great. But now she's reached a point in her life where she's good enough. She's not here to please everybody else. She's a kind, caring, compassionate person who loves deeply and with a lot of loyalty. Those are qualities I sense in you guys.
Another thing she's learned is lower her expectations. And she's happier for it. Ex. She's always wanted to walk across the U.S. but hasn't, so was terribly disappointed in herself because of that. The chance to walk the Santo Domingo Pilgrimage came up and she went. It changed her whole perception of herself.6 -
the year without resolutions. Feels weird4
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Ugh. Repeat that louder for those in the back. (Me...it’s me in the back). I lost 60 lbs in about 4 months without ever trying to lose weight that quickly. Then 12 more over the course of many months. Then gained like 5.😫 This last 20-30 is probably gonna take me the rest of my life. But....I feel amazing and am having fun so whatever.
I’m on board for your get rich quick schemes. 💯
Ima be with you having fun in the back. It is time to just enjoy the ride.5 -
Friends who try to dictate the terms to your friendship4
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chuckle_bunny wrote: »(slams Friendship Handbook on the table)
It's RIGHT THERE... Section 7c. Article 12: Happy New Year's Texts
You couldn't even pull your weight, Caco! Don't put this on me!!!!!!
The ONE thing I’m bad at 😩2 -
Definitely! I’ve come too far to not have fun honestly. I’m 100% over negative self talk etc....let’s do this. I’ll be the guy in blue....I’ve actually had to wear something similar to that before. Holla.
😂2 -
twitchandshout wrote: »
I could watch the guy all day.😂2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »
I could watch the guy all day.😂
It’s between this and the prancercize lady0 -
I’m thinking of starting a “Take On Me” jogging club....let me know if anyone’s interested.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tvVoY-PTf6s
I
I was not expecting that 🤣1 -
So you’re definitely in then? I want to be the first guy SO bad. But I can almost guarantee I’m the lame *kitten* second guy. 🙄
I’m going to have to insist on wearing the socks myself1
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