WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2021

exermom · January 2021

Some more of our trees:

This is the Peanuts/Disney tree. Note the lighted tree skirt

The Star Trek tree. Note the USS Enterprise tree topper. I made that tree skirt

Michele

exermom · January 2021

Last but not least is a forest of four trees. The one to the left is the Star Wars tree. Note the Death Star tree topper. Next to it is a wreath with 7 animated ornaments. Behind that one is the Christmas Story Christmas Vacation and M&M tree. To the right of that tree is the cat tree. Vince made the tree topper. And to the right of the Star Wars tree is another picture of the Frosty Friends tree.

Michele NC

bananasandoranges · January 2021

Barbie thanks for getting us started!
OK worked on goals/resolutions. I agree Barbie that some are more suited to one and some more suited to others. I mixed them up here.

Sorry if it tires or stresses some of you in advance.
Really most is work-related.
Bear in mind I spent much of my 20s and 30s and some of my early 40s focusing more on enjoying people, being with people I was/am close to, doing sports, visiting friends and family, camping, hiking, low-cost ways of discovering life, without much concern about long term professional goals.
Presuming I live a couple more decades at least, financially it would seem it helpful if I buckle down.
Also, I've started some things and it would seem it would feel better to aim to complete some things started if possible, partly for myself, and also for even maintaining professional situation.
It's a bit much and we'll see how it goes.
There are time limits.
Clearly the thesis is the most stressful one. if I could just take that out of the equation that would lighten my schedule and feeling of pressure considerably.
Regardless, this is the last year to work on that. Thank goodness!

Granted: if my life expectancy ends up being late 70s (average of my parents and grandparents), I may not need to be so concerned with finances. But if I tend to health, am lucky, and so on, it will be nice to have taken care of that area. It seems worth aiming to do so this year.

So here goes. It comes from last years goals.
Reminder: Granting self a 1-year extension on any plans, projects and so on, envisioned for over the past year.

Put in spoiler as at least 1 person said it stressed them out in the past (maybe last year) to read similar goals.
—
GOALS & RESOLUTIONS 2021

1.WORK AND REVENUE
Have, if possible, equivalent of FT permanent job (not more than full time) earning at least X net per month.
(at present I have 3 PT jobs working much more than full time all in all earning less than X).

sub-goals to help with this :

-Finish PHD
HOW ? (tasks)
-Alot at least 1h per day on teaching days to working on this on weekdays
-Alot at least 4h per day on non-teaching days to working on this on weekdays
-Sign up to present work bi-monthly in new meetings.
-Ask for feedback and suggestions from peers, and higher ups
-If COVID allows, do writing sessions (online or live) with peers
-Make proposal(s) for article (before deadline next week or week after)

-Apply for jobs (now listed but not yet open for external applications)
HOW ? (tasks)
-Look at ads and sort which ones are conceivable in view of my profile
-Do rough application (CV and other docs)
-Show to colleagues and ask for feedback
-If reasonable time investment mprove profile if possible relative to requirements in common months
-Plan several related projects (apply at least 1x to A, B, C)

-Follow up current teaching work
HOW ? (tasks)
BASIC
Grades
Good timely corrections of writing
Write class description
Basic planning
EVOLUTION
Follow up partnership between V & P
Plan co-teaching sessions allotted for 2nd semester

Follow up on legal issues related to worker’s rights
(which can have effect of increase in rate of pay without changing jobs)
HOW ? (tasks)
-School A
Nothing to do, just waiting at present
-School B
Prepare next legal answer in February (many pages)
-Collective work
Regular collective meetings
Following up on tasks
Delegating more
Maintain boundaries, but remain on a friendly basis without over investing
If possible have live meetings from time to time (motivating for all)

Have Website redone
Ask 5-10 people if they have a name of someone who can do it
Call
Choose
Spend time on going through archives etc, to put on web site. (February ?)

Request information regarding projected retirement benefits

2. COMMUNITY & PEEPS
(this is really 1st in terms of my priorities, but requires less time than the above...this year...many years i’ve invested way more in peeps than work)

Go back to normal social life
HOW ?
-When possible invite friend(s) over for coffee, meal other 1x a week
-In mean time meet with friend 1x a week for walk, coffee, or, if no other option, online social meet up.

Maintain back home links somewhat
HOW ?
-Send gift to R&E
-Scan thing and send to family
-Call E ?

3. RELATION
Not sure how to qualify this as not sure if it’s ideal to be too goal focused on this, (i’m thinking it is not, and yet, in late 50s one doesn't necessarily fall into it as easily as in 20s and 30s) but ideally not just dating (last year’s goal, accomplished to quite a reasonable degree relative to condtions! One step forward!) but being with someone i’m good with in a couple and visa versa. I’ve experienced it before for some years, so presumably that’s possible again. And enjoy life in the mean time regardless !! Not stressed about it but open and enjoying life in the mean time.
HOW ?
-Go back to working from school when possible.
-Go back to daily café in café when possible.
(meeting people naturally in ‘regular life’ is most comfortable for me, i also miss chatting with women friends from café)
-meet with neighbor (she works in matching industry and offered to show me profiles free of charge to see if any matches- but i have to get rid of or hide visible shelf clutter first ! She likes to meet people in their homes!) It could be interesting to hear her feedback regardless.

4.HEALTH
(also very important in fact, but also more natural to me and easier path than the above, since more within my own capacity to follow up on at least, in theory)
Weight and exercise
-Get back to healthy 23 BMI max.
HOW ?
-EATING & CALORIES Current MFP proposal. 1220 cal net per day. Enter activity, not consume it all. (have a some deficit most days relative to net 1220, never or almost never go over)
Aim for 0-2x a week max foods with sugar cane.
Aim for 5 different types of veggie per day (soup?!)

-ACTIVITY :
-30 min/day walk 6x a week, any pace
-1h 3x a week on stationary bike (?), at least 2
at least 2x 20 min upper body stuff (weights, stretches, twists, etc.), during cycling or not.
-aim for at least 3x 20 min at maximum HR range
-15-60 min/day pottering at home (cleaning, handiwork, reorganizing, etc.)

-HEALTH INSURANCE
Look at 2 insurance offers, do numbers, choose one this weekend and notifiy them as required before Jan 14 .

-BLOODWORK
Write hemotologist
Do recommended follow up

-TEETH
Find contact info of dentist recommended by retired dentist and make appointment.
This week !
Get 2 crowns, 1 onlay, and (apparently) one implant on 3 molars. (in next months)
Contact past orthodontist for maintenance (had invisilign and neded to make sure retainer – complicated by future crowns- is ok and see if i need review

-EYES
Get progressive glasses (this month)

-FOLLOW UP ON ALL USUAL YEARLY, ETC RECOMMENDED MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS
gyn, mamo, etc. (nothing urgent, can be for May-June)

-ENDOCRINOLOGIST APPOINTMENT
several people type 2 diabetes in immediate family and i’m sensitive to sugar (ideally this month)

-THERAPIST
Found name of therapist who will be about 30 euros out of pocket with current insurance, less if I improve my coverage as I likely will. I met her once and she seems ok. I don't have great expectations but if she is ok that could be helpful. Like many of us, I've had a lot on my plate these past years, and I find a good professional listener and therapist can sometimes be helpful. I have more of of a short-medium term approach to this. it's not at all taboo in my family to consult and not at all in my usa peeps. in france it's a bit more mixed, but not terribly taboo for people in the city at least, though most don't talk about it like they do ultra easily in the usa, or at least those I knew.

5.FINANCES (outside of #1)
- Have all bills paid and tax and tax-type forms up to date and done on a monthly basis.
Totally caught up by March and then stay up to date.
HOW ?
Spend 15 min per day 5x a week on solely on finance-related stuff.
-Save 5-10% per year.
- Give away 5-10% per year.
- HOW ?
Do and maintain budget

6.SPIRITUAL GOALS :
(also important but not very time-consuming relatively speaking)
More Peaceful and mindful
HOW
Meditate 10-15 min per day 6 days a week
Aim to be offscreen at least from midnight to 6 am. If awake, do something off screen (active or read) or meditate in bed or send positive energy to self and others (metta meditation) or something like that.
Go to meditation or meditation-type thing (online or live) at least 1x per year.

7. HOME GOAL
(also important but more finite in time required than some of the above)
Sort closets and shelves and maintain them.
HOW :
work on 1 area per week, as part or part plus of daily cleaning and tidying.
-have bathroom repainted
HOW
- call expert and make appointment (next week)
- schedule repair(after visit)
-Get outdoor plants for balcony
- Buy 1-2 plants per month, till it seems good, plus earth if needed, start by April if it's too complicated to get much in winter.

8.OTHER ORGANISATIONAL
General Paperwork
GOAL :Be on top of paperwork by march and stay on top monthly.
HOW?
2x 15 min per day on non-financial paperwork (filing, answering letters, getting rid of stuff, taking action related to papers): (15 per day was not enough. more would be better, but I prefer to ask myself for baby steps at present in this area).

*** daily things are meant to be 5-6 days a week!

bananasandoranges · January 2021

Nice quiet day.
I felt a bit lonely when going for a walk alone at about 3pm, but otherwise it was a quite a pleasant day. I embraced and welcomed the alone feeling for a moment. I think going for a walk alone is nicer in the morning. I was glad to have slept most of the night and slept late (very rare for me).

I have said this before, but I used to avoid the busy streets and walk on the empty streets but ever since the emptiness of COVID I prefer the busier streets (without too many cars).

Quite cold. I had thought to sit in the park to look at resolutions a bit, but really too cold for me to sit more than a short moment.
Getting an espresso at the web café on the way back gave me a lift!

@Heather I'm glad I'm not one of those who planned to swim in the English Channel today!

I have eaten quite healthily so far today.

As per aim to have sugar only 2x a week max I said good-by for now to carrot cake bought 2 days ago. Cut remains into 8 thin slices, 40g each, and the rest in the freezer where that can last 4 months. A small slice today hit the spot!

Have tracked, so far.
Have yet to meditate, tidy and do paperwork. (my 4 habits I'm working on developing this week).
I'm doing good on calories in calories out so far today but may go on the recumbent out of boredom plus feeling a bit of a chill.

kevrit · January 2021

Happy New Year everyone! My word woe the year is Perseverance.

I have 21 goals set for 2020 in spoiler:

21 GOALS for 2021

Word of the year: Perseverence

January
February met
March met
April met
May met
June met
July met
August met
September met
October met
November
December

update webpage monthly by the 25th of month 0/12
Create a monthly diary summary to include with Christmas cards for 2020 by last day of month 0/12
Call Donat once a month on 1st of month 0/12
Call mom once a week 0/4
Get finances under control by focusing on paying off smallest debt and not adding to others 0/12
Average 8,000 steps a day over next year. (2019 was 6,680 steps1 2020 was 5477)
Maintain my low carb eating habits 0/12
Lose another 15 pounds by April 0/15 Gained 15 starting at 160 lbs
Visit family in 2021
Clean camper weekly 0/4
Read book once a day for at least 10 minutes 0/31
Read bible by reading it 10- 15 min a day 0/31
Keep carbs below 50 grams on average weekly 0/4
Meet my macros of 5% carbs, 75% fats and, 20% protein of total calories weekly: 0/4
Update budget spreadsheet at minimum every 2 weeks 0/2
Check health trackers on insurance website every 2 weeks beginning January 5,2021 0/2
Meet 90% or better of 2021 goals monthly 0/12
Replace front door rug by May 2021
Clean car once a month, inside and out. 0/12
Contact sibs once a month 0/48
Get CoVid vaccine!

Here is a picture of my First Day Walk this morning around the lake (1/2 mile).

RvRita

bananasandoranges · January 2021

DISAGREE BUTTON

I had never looked at accumulated disagrees. I just found out I have 11. I went back to look at some of the posts. In one case I had only said congratulations to Machka for getting her masters! nothing else. Another similar.
In other posts I had had different things so not sure what person was disagreeing with (or if it was an accidental disagree!)

It actually doesn't seem that useful of a button.
In one case I can't fathom it be intentional. (who would disagree with a post that says only "congratulations!" ?
In other cases, it leaves one uncertain at best what the disagreement was about.

And yet, once again, after checking it out:
No problem for me. Thanks for reading (if you did) and reacting (if you did intentionally).
I don't mind people disagreeing at all.
For sure the dozens here don't all agree on all.

OregonMother · January 2021

Happy new year!! Thank you Barb, for starting a new thread for us this month.

I am at my mom's. We are both staying masked and distant, which seems funny when visiting your mother, but neither one of us wants to get sick, and since my niece had not been careful, and then my mom was in the hospital for a few days . . . I think it is necessary, and thankfully, my mother agrees. It is still good to see her.

She is weak and still getting very dizzy when she tries to move around. But at least the intestinal issues seem to have resolved. She is on a low-fiber diet for the time being. She has a follow up visit with her PCP on Tuesday. I just realized yesterday that I can't go with her -- I will drive her and wait in the parking lot, but I really wanted to go in with her and talk to the doc myself.

On Christmas day, she prepared the whole meal. My niece didn't help at all. I figured that was the case, but I was still annoyed to hear it. My mom got sick at 7:00 p.m. that evening. I asked my mom if she thought she had overdone it and that the exhaustion had spurred the sickness, but she dismissed it. She wanted me to be proud of her for preparing the meal on her own, but I was just annoyed.

More about that here -- not for the weak of heart:

My niece had an affair with my ex husband which resulted in our divorce (she was 19, he was 40+ at the time). I find myself annoyed with her much of the time, although, after years of being angry, I decided, for the sake of my mother, to let it go and try to move forward with some kind of relationship. And with distance, I could see that my ex had been grooming her for quite a while. My anger and hurt has transformed to annoyance. My niece and I (and our children -- she has one daughter) are the only family my mother has left.

I still don't know yet what the long-term plan is. We haven't talked about it in great detail, but I did mention it briefly, and my mother dismissed long-term care. She said that she thinks the hospital docs didn't think she was going to get better, but she has! I still think we need to talk it through, but I will wait for another day or two.

I am thinking of trying to sign her up for Meals on Wheels. Does anyone here do it or have experience with it? I think she would meet the income requirements, but she might not. My dad didn't make a lot of money in his life time, but they were both wise and frugal, and he left her with investments enough to make her comfortable in her very modest lifestyle. I will feel better knowing that she could get a hot meal a few times a week without having to make it herself, if she is going to stay here by herself. My niece doesn't cook -- so she does sometimes order my mom take-out/delivery, but that is not the healthiest food, as we all know.

Too much to think about!

Flea
Willamette Valley, OR

bananasandoranges · January 2021

@OregonMother Flea, that sounds like an absolute nightmare, what you went through (in spoiler). You are very big to try to move forward and have a relationship with. You don't have to answer of course, and maybe it's too far, and surely may sound simplistic, but have you guys ever talked things out, with a quite a bit of distance? Sometimes that can help (even with a professional helper) and sometimes not.

AS FOR MEALS ON WHEELS:

I think with a call or two or a search online you can find out is she's eligible for meals on wheels.

I saw this online "Each local community sets its own payment policies based on its needs and resources."

I believe often assets are calculated differently than income.

I have a friend who's mom was quite elderly (in France) and so they would pay a local restaurant (in a tiny village) to deliver her food maybe 3x a week! It was possibly more expensive, like 12 euros for a full meal, but she probably only ate half a meal per meal.

I am sure a friend's mom has had meals on wheels but I don't know the financial details. She was a homeowner.

A couple of years ago I was taking care of my sister's stuff (60ish and disabled for life since teens-schizophrenic, but able to live on her own - almost always has- and was recovering from major cancer).

I was surprised how much was possible. it took many hours for many days, very diligently, but then she was fairly set up for a while. It's 2-3 years on and she still has a helper coming 2x a week as of last news. Her revenue is very low, and she has no assets to speak of. But she gets a lot of aid, thank goodness. She had a social worker who was able to help orient me as to possible services available that I could follow up on.

It might well depend on the city and state, in terms of how much service is available.

I found this for Oregon!

In some places there is the option of paying full price (maybe 8 dollars per meal) if one is too well off to benefit otherwise.

https://www.councilonaging.org/find-help/food-nutrition/meals-on-wheels/

"MEALS ON WHEELS ELIGIBILITY
To be eligible, older adults need to be aged 60 or over and either be home-bound or have difficulty shopping or cooking for themselves. Our case managers do a home visit to assess eligibility for the Meals on Wheels program as well as many other programs we have.

CONTACT US
Please call today to find out more about Meals on Wheels: (541) 678-5483."

Katla49 · January 2021

Michele: Your tree is a beauty, and your forest of trees is amazing!! :bigsmile:

Rita: I love your photo. You have a great smile. :flowerforyou:

Flea: You are lucky to have the ability to visit your mom.

I hope her health troubles ease away soon. Regarding Meals on Wheels: My friend delivered meals on wheels from the senior center here for many years and I went with her a few times. The food is/was prepared in their kitchen and delivered to those who are homebound. They paid a moderate fee for the meal they received. Many went to the senior center and enjoyed a meal together—until Covid came along. I don’t know anything about meals at the Senior Center or home deliveries now. In your situation, I would contact the senior center nearest to your mom and find out what is available.

Katla in cloudy NW Oregon

OregonMother · January 2021

bananasandoranges wrote: »

@OregonMother Flea, that sounds like an absolute nightmare, what you went through (in spoiler). You are very big to try to move forward and have a relationship with. You don't have to answer of course, and maybe it's too far, and surely may sound simplistic, but have you guys ever talked things out, with a quite a bit of distance? Sometimes that can help (even with a professional helper) and sometimes not.

AS FOR MEALS ON WHEELS:

I think with a call or two or a search online you can find out is she's eligible for meals on wheels.

I saw this online "Each local community sets its own payment policies based on its needs and resources."

I believe often assets are calculated differently than income.

I have a friend who's mom was quite elderly (in France) and so they would pay a local restaurant (in a tiny village) to deliver her food maybe 3x a week! It was possibly more expensive, like 12 euros for a full meal, but she probably only ate half a meal per meal.

I am sure a friend's mom has had meals on wheels but I don't know the financial details. She was a homeowner.

A couple of years ago I was taking care of my sister's stuff (60ish and disabled for life since teens-schizophrenic, but able to live on her own - almost always has- and was recovering from major cancer).

I was surprised how much was possible. it took many hours for many days, very diligently, but then she was fairly set up for a while. It's 2-3 years on and she still has a helper coming 2x a week as of last news. Her revenue is very low, and she has no assets to speak of. But she gets a lot of aid, thank goodness. She had a social worker who was able to help orient me as to possible services available that I could follow up on.

It might well depend on the city and state, in terms of how much service is available.

I found this for Oregon!

In some places there is the option of paying full price (maybe 8 dollars per meal) if one is too well off to benefit otherwise.

https://www.councilonaging.org/find-help/food-nutrition/meals-on-wheels/

"MEALS ON WHEELS ELIGIBILITY
To be eligible, older adults need to be aged 60 or over and either be home-bound or have difficulty shopping or cooking for themselves. Our case managers do a home visit to assess eligibility for the Meals on Wheels program as well as many other programs we have.

CONTACT US
Please call today to find out more about Meals on Wheels: (541) 678-5483."

Thank you!! This is very encouraging. She is in Washington, so it is a little different. I need to ask her what her yearly income is -- not an easy conversation, but manageable.

Yes, my niece and I have talked things out quite a few times -- not professionally -- but honestly, and we have come to peace.

Flea
Willamette Valley, OR

OregonMother · January 2021

Katla49 wrote: »

Michele: Your tree is a beauty, and your forest of trees is amazing!! :bigsmile:

Rita: I love your photo. You have a great smile. :flowerforyou:

Flea: You are lucky to have the ability to visit your mom. I hope her health troubles ease away soon. Regarding Meals on Wheels: My friend delivered meals on wheels from the senior center here for many years and I went with her a few times. The food is/was prepared in their kitchen and delivered to those who are homebound. They paid a moderate fee for the meal they received. Many went to the senior center and enjoyed a meal together—until Covid came along. I don’t know anything about meals at the Senior Center or home deliveries now. In your situation, I would contact the senior center nearest to your mom and find out what is available.

Katla in cloudy NW Oregon

Great idea, Katla. She did have a relationship with her local senior center before Covid.

Flea
Willamette Valley, OR

grandmallie · January 2021

Load of laundry very small. Believe me,I snoozed a couple of hours and woke up just a bit ago..
So I will hopefully be able to sleep tonight..
Ive basically done nothing all day...

Workoutahloic50 · January 2021

Happy New Year!!!🎆 I am 55 today.The Christmas trees are Beautiful!
Debby in wet Va

Katla49 · January 2021

Workoutaholic: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

pipcd34 · January 2021

Stat for the day-

New year’s walk w/family- 2hrs 55min 58sec, 3.39ap, 198elev, 97ahr, 122mhr, 10.10mi= 904c
Strava app = 1224c

Total cal 904

Put away tree, decorations, laundry, vacuum a bit, didn’t put hrm on so est. additional 200c

okiewoman510 · January 2021

Happy Birthday Debby!

Happy New Year Ladies!

Thanks Barbie for keeping us moving with another clean slate.

Okie in the TX Hill Country

cityjaneLondon · January 2021

It was lovely to see the grandchildren today, if only for a few minutes. We stood in the front garden and they were in the doorway. They were delighted to receive 'the best brownies in the world'. Plus the surplus calendar.
Edie had decorated a wooden heart with sequins for us.

On our walk home we managed to pick up a few needed things from empty shops.

It's a holiday here and there's another one on Monday.

DH cooked tonight!

First time in a while. He stopped cooking because I was on a diet, and cutting calories, but I eat normal food nowadays. He thinks he will cook once a week or so from now on. Tonight was Shepherd's Pie. He puts field mushrooms in it which gives it a rich flavour. Very good. Will freeze the left over portion.
So that's two nights running I haven't cooked!

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

OregonMother · January 2021

Happy Birthday, Debby!!!!

Flea
Willamette Valley, OR

TerriRichardson112 · January 2021

@barbiecat Thanks for keeping us together. I am still pondering my goals for 2021. These were my goals for 2020. I would say that I did quite well on them, despite the chaos that was all around.

20 Goals for 2020: Jan Update

1. Pre-log every lick, sip and bite (Daily) ✅
2. Stay under goal (Daily) ✅ much better than normal as socialising was almost non existent after March.
3. Balance macros/micros (Daily) ✅
4. Hydrate adequately (Daily) ✅
5. Choose healthy snacks (Daily) ✅mostly.
6. 7500+ Steps (Daily) ✅ 99% of the time.
7. 5 mins stretch before/after workouts ✅
8. 15+ minutes HIIT > 5 days a week ✅
9. 15+ mins lower body > 5 days a week ✅
10. 15+ mins yoga/tai chi > 5 days a week ✅
11. Dance group (twice a month) ✖️cancelled
12. Practice self-care (Daily) ✅
13. Stay up to date with accounts (monthly) ✅
14. Mindfulness Practice/meditation ((Daily - morning/evening) ✅
15. 1 or more 15 mins Declutter sessions (Daily) ✅
16. Finish > 2 ongoing craft projects (monthly) ✖️
17. Purchase essential items only ✅
18. Read > 1 book from 'to read' pile ✅
19. Complete > 2 ongoing crochet projects (monthly) ✖️
20. Learn something new (daily) ✅

2019 Goal Weight: < 155 achieved
2020 Goal Weight: < 150 ✅ Achieved in Feb 2020. Maintained
2021 Goal weight: < 145

I made a promise to myself in March that I would not let all my efforts to lose weight go to waste.
I'm delighted to say that I have kept that promise.

margaretturk · January 2021

Happy birthday Debby :flowerforyou:

WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2021

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