WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2021
Replies
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I would like to thank everyone for my birthday wishes!It was a nice day,I spent it alone.Not completely alone,our little boy dog,Vern curled up with me and enjoyed me not hopping up and doing something every minute of the day.😊
Debby in Va6 -
janetr7476 wrote: »Karen in VA. Help, please tell me again how to put things in a Spoiler so everyone doesn't have to see these gigantic images and Thank You.
Janetr OKC
start spoiler with [*spoiler] - without the asterisk
end spoiler with [*/spoiler] - without the asterisk3 -
Heather, My big lesson from the Minimalists was about intentional living. Everything I own is something I want to own. What I do is what I want to do. What I buy is what I've decided to buy. I am not influenced by what other people think or do or approve of. I notice that you make intentional choices. Your choices are different from mine but they are thought out and reflect your values and desires.
Dogs haven't wanted to walk in the rain, so I'll go out by myself in a few minutes just so I end the day with a decent amount of steps. Most of the holiday lights in my neighborhood have been put away so it will be a darker walk.
Barbie in NW WA 2 -
Tracey-the bunk beds and bedding are really cute. You two make a great pair putting those creative things together. Actually if body is sore from work yesterday keeping moving (slowly not aggressively) might be the best thing for it. I think sometimes we resist that and it can make stuff worse.
Julie-I agree with Machka-just get the thesis done. I went several years ABD (all but dissertation). After my first son was born it was hard to fit in. Then I got pregnant with second and was hitting time limit. I just cranked it out. It occurred to me that my professors and the school wanted me to finish as much as I did (it looks better for schools to have high completion rates, especially at Ph.D. level). You want to do a decent work, but I have seen many get paralyzed because it wouldn’t be brilliant enough.
Allie-I used Arnica cream on the scars from my hip replacements. The nerve endings are bothersome and unfortunately they just take time. Would a side pillow help with the battery pack device (not sure how they fit on)-kid of like laying on your side with a pillow helped when very pregnant?
DrKatiebug-like your “Neither am I personally responsible for keeping Amazon in business! Shopping, like eating, is something I should do out of necessity - not for entertainment or therapeutic reasons.” This past couple of years I have, no doubt, indulged of too much of that as both entertainment and therapy.
Lisa-that was a great Calvin and Hobbs you shared. It made me smile and think.
Barbie in NW WA-I feel really bad for Jake being stood up by granddaughter. That just stinks.
Janetr-amazing transformation. I like your saying “Pick your hard.” Lots of truth there.
Annie in Delaware-exercise is good for us, but for me the key to weight is still ci/co. I know when I dropped from the 170s to the 140/130s the difference in feeling better was way more than I thought.
Had another "odds and ends day." Laundry done (will iron tomorrow). Bathroom closet organized (now to keep it that way!). Threw out out of date stuff. At least I know what I have in there now. Found extras of things I had bought because I forgot I had them. Wrote out list of household projects I want to complete this year. Starting on work to finish painting door frames and new doors. Have to go to Lowes early tomorrow and pick up a strip of door stop and some wood filler. Got a good walk in outside-mid 30s and not much wind so brisk but not too cold. Think I am keeping my lighted gnomes out for a while longer just because they make me smile.
Sil in Switzerland was brought out of medical coma and seems to be aware (this is from her son to my other SIL). With time difference communication happens at odd times. It does sound like she is very lucky to have made it this far.
Going to clear out emails while I watch some tv. That way I am doing something necessary, but not overly energetic!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
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Whidislander wrote: »Ladies I just use the 12 x 12 calendars. We had a Portland city calendar last year so these are my envelopes from that.👍
Have a great weekend all! We're going out on this blustery day to look for sheet set, new jeans for him and I, and hopefully a case for this Fire tablet.🙃😋😁
Rebecca
Those are beautiful!! Very nice.
And I love Portland so much. I don't want to live there, but I love visiting.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR0 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »I've read the Minimalists books and heard a lot of podcasts. I would love to be a hard-core minimalist, but it ain't going to happen while I'm living with DH. He likes a certain amount of cosy.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I agree! I have been slowly purging my things. I would be happy with very little and a good sized suitcase of clothes.
Except for kitchen things. I use a well-stocked, well-equipped kitchen.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR0 -
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Julie-I agree with Machka-just get the thesis done. I went several years ABD (all but dissertation). After my first son was born it was hard to fit in. Then I got pregnant with second and was hitting time limit. I just cranked it out. It occurred to me that my professors and the school wanted me to finish as much as I did (it looks better for schools to have high completion rates, especially at Ph.D. level). You want to do a decent work, but I have seen many get paralyzed because it wouldn’t be brilliant enough.
Ginny in Ohio
Yes! One of my dissertation readers told me, "It doesn't have to be good; it just has to be signed." That advice was liberating because perfectionism can be debilitating. I revise the statement for my perfectionist students -- "It doesn't have to be good; it just needs to be submitted." I have so many students who don't turn work in because it doesn't meet their expectations. My eldest is like that. He failed a class a couple years ago because he had a paper to submit. He had it written. It was done. But not perfect. In anger, he deleted the whole computer file. Didn't submit anything. Failed. So frustrating.
A mantra I use around the house to my perfectionist family members is what so many of you say around here: "Do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Sometimes good is good enough.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR2 -
I leave my outside lights out until end of January to add some cheer. I have started putting the Christmas decorations away. The tree will be mid January. It takes me so long to put it up I like to leave it up a bit longer too. Others here leave there outside lights out here longer too!
Michelle love your trees.2 -
Whidislander wrote: » I listened to over 100 podcast episodes by "The Minimalists" and they helped me be emotionally prepared to clear out the the physical and emotional clutter in my life. They talked much more about the emotional, spiritual, and cultural roadblocks to getting rid of things and helped me find my way. I had to be emotionally ready before I could take any meaningful action. It's a lot like knowing that broccoli is healthier than pecan pie, but needing to have the right attitude to begin. One book that helped me is "Outer Order, Inner Calm" by Gretchen Rubin. I read other books about decluttering that helped me see a simpler household as a thing I wanted. One great thing about my house is that I know what I have, why I have it, and where it belongs. All the good things are the result of years of preparation and action. Nothing worthwhile happens overnight (or even in a month). Jake set up a Zoom call with his granddaughter and her kids but they didn't show up. Poor guy sat at the computer staring at his own face for about 15 minutes before he gave up. Now, the laundry that I ignored at bedtime, is staring at me and demanding to be folded and put away....also the dishes in the dishwasher. Barbie in NW WA
How wonderful! I watched The Minimalist on Netflix ( two guys). The dark haired guy said he went hardcore into the minimalistic lifestyle by packing everything in his apartment. Then over a month taking out of the "well labeled boxes" only what he needed. He found out he didn't use 80% of the items! So he just donated it all. That's hardcore huh!?
Rebecca
I've done that sort of minimalist thing at times.
In 2004, I sorted through all my stuff, got rid of about 1/2 of it and packed the rest into storage. Then I travelled around Australia for 3 months on my bicycle, as in the photo below. Everything I needed was in the bags on my bicycle. Then I lived in my parent's basement (and a couple other small furnished apartments, a hostel, and someone's sewing room) from 2005 to 2009 while I got my Bachelor of Education ... I unpacked a small amount of my stuff from storage for that period. When I was preparing to go to Australia, I got all my stuff out of storage and got rid of another 1/2 of it, then packed the rest for shipping.
Then I moved to Australia with a bicycle and suitcase and lived in that shack off the grid for a year, as I've mentioned before. My husband had lost most of his stuff in the bushfire and so we bought a few things, but not much.
Finally we were able to find a small house in the town where I worked and we bought a few things and I had my stuff shipped over.
2 years later, we packed it all up and put it into storage. Then we set off to travel the world for 8 months with bicycles and panniers ... as in the photo below. My bicycle is the blue one on the right.
When we returned, we housesat for a bit, then lived with the friend we were house sitting for, then finally got a 6 month rental and brought our stuff out of storage. We had hoped to acquire more permanent jobs (we were both in temp jobs) but that didn't happen. However, I got my current job in Tasmania so everything went back into storage and we moved to Tasmania with a van-load of stuff ... like just a car van, not a moving van. We bought a little bit but it was about 18 months later before we got our stuff out of storage and had it shipped to where we live now.
After all that ... getting rid of our stuff, or in my husband's case, losing it in a bushfire, keeping what we had in storage for long periods of time and living with next to nothing ... in the past 7 years we've accumulated quite a bit. Neither of us liked being that minimal for the long term.
Now, 7 years later, I feel like I am in a place where I can start going through what we've accumulated and making some decisions about it.
M in Oz
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Worked today. It was kind-of cold, at least at first. The bad thing is that the sun wasn’t out. If it had been, I bet it would have been pretty OK. Tomorrow I just might try using the recumbent bike a little
Well, when I got home from work Vince was starting bringing in the decorations from outside. Right now he’s working on the controllers so there’s really nothing I can do so I’m here. We should have almost 80% of it in. The rest we can’t bring in mainly because we don’t have any place to put it so that it can dry out…lol
Tracey – what adorable bunkbeds
Rori and M – (((HUG))) Rori – how is that lady working out, the one who stays some with your hubby? I forget her name
Barbara – yes, that is a train under the main tree. The Polar Express. Vince likes O gauge trains. He got these sections of track that when the train goes over them, they light up. Pretty cool. You understand how much of an accomplishment it is for me to throw out food. I was raised by my grandmother who raised her family during the depression. NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING, was wasted. Heaven forbid you even *think* about throwing out food.
Lisa – that comic strip is very appropriate for this group
M – I’m sorry your husband isn’t doing as well. This is the first time you’ve mentioned it. Unload here any time at all.
Jess just called to say they got back to Iowa
Bought some of the Tone It Up Protein powder. Did they ever downsize the amount! And they reformulated it. I’m going to look online to see if I can purchase it any other way. Update: I think I'm going to take it back. Too many reviews saying that they can taste and aftertaste due to the stevia so I probably will too.
Barbie (((HUG for Jake)))
Janet – hubba bubba
M – does your bike have two water bottle holders?
Michele NC
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OregonMother wrote: »
Julie-I agree with Machka-just get the thesis done. I went several years ABD (all but dissertation). After my first son was born it was hard to fit in. Then I got pregnant with second and was hitting time limit. I just cranked it out. It occurred to me that my professors and the school wanted me to finish as much as I did (it looks better for schools to have high completion rates, especially at Ph.D. level). You want to do a decent work, but I have seen many get paralyzed because it wouldn’t be brilliant enough.
Ginny in Ohio
Yes! One of my dissertation readers told me, "It doesn't have to be good; it just has to be signed." That advice was liberating because perfectionism can be debilitating. I revise the statement for my perfectionist students -- "It doesn't have to be good; it just needs to be submitted." I have so many students who don't turn work in because it doesn't meet their expectations. My eldest is like that. He failed a class a couple years ago because he had a paper to submit. He had it written. It was done. But not perfect. In anger, he deleted the whole computer file. Didn't submit anything. Failed. So frustrating.
A mantra I use around the house to my perfectionist family members is what so many of you say around here: "Do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Sometimes good is good enough.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
"A C is a Degree"
I came across this phrase while getting my Bachelor of Education and at first it horrified me ... how could anyone aim for a "C"??
But through my Master's degree process, I've had to let go of some of my courses or assignments and remind myself that "A C is a Degree". My marks were all over the place ... in some courses, everything just clicked and I got high marks. In other courses, life circumstances interfered or things didn't click between me and the professor or whatever, and I got lower marks. But it doesn't matter ... I passed all my courses and there is no requirement for me to ever reveal my marks to anyone.
But overall, I did do better than a C.
Through both degrees I also learned to sacrifice certain assignments. It was easier with my B-Ed in Canada because there they give you all the information about all the assignments on Day 1 so you can start working on them on Day 1. So I would organise the assignments for each class by marks. An assignment worth 20% was higher on my "To Do" scale than an assignment worth 5%. And there was a time or two where I just didn't get around to low-mark assignments.
In Australia, they give you the information for the assignment 2-3 weeks before it is due so it's harder to organise the workload and make decisions like that. Nevertheless, I remember going into one quiz worth 10% having barely studied for it. That was the year I had measles. I missed several classes, and was generally not well but was scrambling to try to get things together. I did the quiz and the marker came over to mark it, and looked at me with horror in his eyes ... "You got 4/10!! You need to work harder. You need to study more .... etc. etc." I stopped him and said, "I got 4% toward my total mark. That's better than 0%. He couldn't understand. But I finished that course with 75% or so, IIRC. I just had to sacrifice that particular assignment because of my life situation then.
All that to say ... sometimes you've just got to get it done.
M in Oz0 -
Janetr There are a couple of ways to do a spoiler.
The method I use is to click on this:
Which gives you this drop down:
Then click on “spoiler”:
and this will appear in your dialogue box:
The cursor should be between the bracketed “spoilers” and you just insert whatever you want in there.xoxo
Karen in Virginia
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Karen in Virginia
Thank you!
Janetr OKC1 -
Whidislander wrote: » I listened to over 100 podcast episodes by "The Minimalists" and they helped me be emotionally prepared to clear out the the physical and emotional clutter in my life. They talked much more about the emotional, spiritual, and cultural roadblocks to getting rid of things and helped me find my way. I had to be emotionally ready before I could take any meaningful action. It's a lot like knowing that broccoli is healthier than pecan pie, but needing to have the right attitude to begin. One book that helped me is "Outer Order, Inner Calm" by Gretchen Rubin. I read other books about decluttering that helped me see a simpler household as a thing I wanted. One great thing about my house is that I know what I have, why I have it, and where it belongs. All the good things are the result of years of preparation and action. Nothing worthwhile happens overnight (or even in a month). Jake set up a Zoom call with his granddaughter and her kids but they didn't show up. Poor guy sat at the computer staring at his own face for about 15 minutes before he gave up. Now, the laundry that I ignored at bedtime, is staring at me and demanding to be folded and put away....also the dishes in the dishwasher. Barbie in NW WA
How wonderful! I watched The Minimalist on Netflix ( two guys). The dark haired guy said he went hardcore into the minimalistic lifestyle by packing everything in his apartment. Then over a month taking out of the "well labeled boxes" only what he needed. He found out he didn't use 80% of the items! So he just donated it all. That's hardcore huh!?
Rebecca
I've done that sort of minimalist thing at times.
In 2004, I sorted through all my stuff, got rid of about 1/2 of it and packed the rest into storage. Then I travelled around Australia for 3 months on my bicycle, as in the photo below. Everything I needed was in the bags on my bicycle. Then I lived in my parent's basement (and a couple other small furnished apartments, a hostel, and someone's sewing room) from 2005 to 2009 while I got my Bachelor of Education ... I unpacked a small amount of my stuff from storage for that period. When I was preparing to go to Australia, I got all my stuff out of storage and got rid of another 1/2 of it, then packed the rest for shipping.
Then I moved to Australia with a bicycle and suitcase and lived in that shack off the grid for a year, as I've mentioned before. My husband had lost most of his stuff in the bushfire and so we bought a few things, but not much.
Finally we were able to find a small house in the town where I worked and we bought a few things and I had my stuff shipped over.
2 years later, we packed it all up and put it into storage. Then we set off to travel the world for 8 months with bicycles and panniers ... as in the photo below. My bicycle is the blue one on the right.
When we returned, we housesat for a bit, then lived with the friend we were house sitting for, then finally got a 6 month rental and brought our stuff out of storage. We had hoped to acquire more permanent jobs (we were both in temp jobs) but that didn't happen. However, I got my current job in Tasmania so everything went back into storage and we moved to Tasmania with a van-load of stuff ... like just a car van, not a moving van. We bought a little bit but it was about 18 months later before we got our stuff out of storage and had it shipped to where we live now.
After all that ... getting rid of our stuff, or in my husband's case, losing it in a bushfire, keeping what we had in storage for long periods of time and living with next to nothing ... in the past 7 years we've accumulated quite a bit. Neither of us liked being that minimal for the long term.
Now, 7 years later, I feel like I am in a place where I can start going through what we've accumulated and making some decisions about it.
M in Oz
What an amazing journey! I know my son that we live with is a bit of a hoarder. His side of the garage is evidence of that. But he is methodical in his madness.
Rebecca0 -
M – does your bike have two water bottle holders?
Two in the first photo.
Three, on the bicycle in the second photo.M – I’m sorry your husband isn’t doing as well. This is the first time you’ve mentioned it. Unload here any time at all.
I haven't felt particularly comfortable going into a lot of detail ... sometimes I think people here get a bit bored hearing about my husband's situation.
But very generally ...
He had the workplace accident on March 22, 2018 which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury. In a coma for 3 weeks, in Post Traumatic Amnesia (PTA) for 7 weeks, in hospital for 100 days.
The length of the PTA + other symptoms and testing are what led to the diagnosis of severe traumatic brain injury.
The bulk of his injury is in the left temporal lobe - he has quite a decent sized amount of scar tissue there, a part of the brain that will never recover. He also has a small area of frontal lobe damage and diffuse axonal injury (DIA) which happens when the brain moves rapidly in the skull - think, shaken baby syndrome.
When he was first diagnosed with DIA, in about Week 2, I was told he may die, remain in a coma or if he "woke", he'd likely be in a vegetative state. Fortunately, those things did not happen!
But with DIA, the injuries are all over the brain and it is impossible to predict what the results of the injuries will be.
In his case, for example, he has left leg and right arm difficulties ... like when a person who has a stroke has difficulty being able to use one side of their body. His left leg and right arm are OK in the sense of muscles, bones, tendons, etc. but his brain doesn't communicate with them very well. So he finds walking very tiring and difficult. He also drops things a lot if he uses his right arm.
He has double vision and suffers from vestibular disorders which affect his balance and bodily orientation. These, along with the left leg situation, also make walking difficult, especially in the dark, on uneven surfaces, and going up or down stairs.
When he has dealt with something difficult for a while, he gets tired, but not tired like we know it ... it's a whole body shutdown kind of exhaustion. So if he is presented with something else to do, like going into a grocery store, he has a meltdown/shutdown thing.
Sometimes I can pick up on his increasing fatigue and frustration and deal with it before it becomes a problem, sometimes I miss the cues.
He has a long list of other symptoms as well.
Most people with a severe traumatic brain injury will improve to a certain point and then plateau. If they are young, they may continue to make occasional improvements at times throughout their lives.
However, when we (healthy people) reach a certain age, our brains start to slow down and a certain amount of brain shrinkage starts to occur.
Severe TBI can increase the pace of this slow down and brain shrinkage process.
So I was told my husband would reach a plateau around about the 2 year point, and I think he did, and because of his age, the chances of improvements beyond that are very, very slim. In fact the chances of deterioration is much greater.
Staying home for 4 months allowed me to see him all day every day which was helpful for me to know where he was and I have noticed that his fatigue and meltdown/shutdown things happen more frequently now than they did. I've started noticing a few other things as well ... I think. Sometimes it is hard to tell until it happens a few times.
He will never recover, of course, but I'm hoping that the deterioration will be relatively slow.
Regarding the brain slow down/shrinkage for all of us ... they say that exercise and continuing to use the brain to learn new things helps. Another good reason for all of us to keep active!
Machka in Oz4 -
5 -
Hi there,
Happy New Year!
I am looking forward to 2021. I'm good at starting things and working on finishing.
The main word that is working for me as I look towards 2021 is DECELERATE. I've worked 2 jobs and been go go go running from pillar to post for 20+ years. I need to slow down, be more DELIBERATE and make some DECISIONS about letting one of these jobs go, as well as about my lifestyle, including how I eat and how much I exercise!
I've been with you here on this group before, though maybe not in a couple of years.
I am prone to disordered eating. And when I am really sad, otherwise emotional, or anxious food is my best friend and solace. I try to divert myself with hobbies I love like crocheting and making miniatures. But it's a tough challenge. I was on antidepressants years ago and packed a lot of weight on. Now that I'm almost 60 it's getting harder and harder to get that weight off. But I keep trying!
I'm hoping to drop 6 lbs this month. I'd like to see the 150s before 2021 is through.
My eating goals are to track my food and focus on increasing my intake of fruit and vegetables.
My fitness goals are to exercise every day, whether a fitness class, walk, or video-led workout.
I also need to do more stretching, including yoga.
I plan to have an epsom salts bath 3X/week.
I have a basket full of face, hand and foot masks. I hope I use them soon. Self care is so important I know.
For my home, I follow and practice a combo of FlyLady and Declutter 365 methods. I don't accept the FLYLady emails any more but follow her on FaceBook so see some of her live podcasts and I'm in an online group that play cleaning games together based on FLYLady principles. I've been doing this for 2 years and I am gradually feeling like I have that act together. The basic cleaning is well under control and now, for the first time, I feel like I am really getting at the clutter. I've done the Clutterbug tests and even have the book. I'm a bee. I need to organize, sub-organize, categorize. It makes actually getting anything organized quite challenging!
Cheers,
Melodybug
In Atlantic Canada
6 -
[
He will never recover, of course, but I'm hoping that the deterioration will be relatively slow.
Machka in Oz
Oh dear, Machka, you have certainly been one of the most diligent care takers any husband could have. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers that as you said, the deterioration will be relatively slow.
Biggest big hugs,
Janetr OKC1 -
I have a new calendar on my wall. New calendars are annual gifts from our public utility company. Each of the photos tells the name of the photographer, and all the photos are taken inside this county. The first photo is of a beautiful pattern of lights and clouds in the sky.
Rebecca: Your calendar envelopes are creative and nice to see.
Ginny in OH: Sending good wishes to your SIL in Switzerland. I hope she continues to be lucky and heals completely.
Margaret: I still have outside Christmas lights on our deck. I took the ornaments off of our tree and have it back in its spot in the garden. It looked happy to be home. The weather is relatively mild this evening. I would not have taken it outside in very cold weather after it had spent weeks in a warm house. This transition seems to be gentle enough. I hope that it stays that way long enough for the tree to adjust. :bigsmile:
Machka: I love the photo of your bikes beside the brick wall along with flower baskets. Beautiful!. :flowerforyou:
I’m planning to haul boxes of Christmas items back up the ladder into the garage attic tomorrow. I’ll be happy to get the job done. Right now, I’m ready to get some rest.
Katla in NW Oregon
0
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