What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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heavensshadow wrote: »For me, I didn't think I would be constantly thinking about food (but in a different capacity). It takes a ton of mental energy for me to plan, pre-log, think about groceries and the most nutritious bang for my buck, etc.
While I'm not terribly upset about this because I'm not just thinking about the next bite going into my maw, I was surprised when I realized how much mental time I spend on my health when it's a priority. It really *must* be a lifestyle change to make it stick (for me, anyway).
Fortunately, at least for me, it gets easier and starts becoming routine, and you don't have to focus as much. You just kind of know what works. Although I've still gotten off track for emotional reasons, it's easier to get back on track because it's my new normal.14 -
Nobody warned me just how many people would tell me what NOT to lose.
"Don't lose too much off your chest"
"You're going to lose your butt"
"Can't you work more on the bigger areas"22 -
MellOnTheMove wrote: »Nobody warned me just how many people would tell me what NOT to lose.
"Don't lose too much off your chest"
"You're going to lose your butt"
"Can't you work more on the bigger areas"
YESSSS! So many people have opinions on what your body should look like.
I don't know why anyone thinks they deserve to have an opinion on anyone else's body.
It's honestly easiest to adapt to a "I don't care what others think about me, only what I feel about myself" mindset initially and it creates a whole attitude shift. It's pretty glorious to adapt that "Screw em" attitude.
Also Cringy things people say, while trying to make a compliment but just coming off as creepy, while they don't realize they're "complimenting" how you look now but totally trashing your appearance from before. STILL THE SAME PERSON. What the heck.25 -
MellOnTheMove wrote: »Nobody warned me just how many people would tell me what NOT to lose.
"Don't lose too much off your chest"
"You're going to lose your butt"
"Can't you work more on the bigger areas"
I wish THEY would LOSE themselves. Too bad they can't work on the biggest thing= their mouth and thinking.13 -
That if you move your arm too fast the extra skin kinda passes the attached stuff and has a mind of it's own!
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katescurios wrote: »They don’t tell you how happy a spreadsheet and a graph can make you, seriously if I start losing motivation or craving a chocolate bar all I have to do is look at my spreadsheet and see my progress and all of a sudden I’m not hungry anymore 😆
Excel and Happy Scale Trending App are my sanity
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Something nobody told me about is how odd my body would be as I was losing the weight. How it would come off of unexpected places and how my belly would become this loose pouch of some fat, some apparently empty space, and a quantity of marbles made of Flubber. I'd heard of getting an "apron" but not a "partially deflated belly." How even though I am only around 30 pounds from goal weight, maybe less, there would be areas that still need MAJOR renovation - and I don't get smaller all over, not at all. Where the "skinny patches" are is humorous at times. I tell myself it's a work in progress and I'm glad I don't have judgemental people looking at my nakedself.19
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Sand_TIger wrote: »Something nobody told me about is how odd my body would be as I was losing the weight. How it would come off of unexpected places and how my belly would become this loose pouch of some fat, some apparently empty space, and a quantity of marbles made of Flubber. I'd heard of getting an "apron" but not a "partially deflated belly." How even though I am only around 30 pounds from goal weight, maybe less, there would be areas that still need MAJOR renovation - and I don't get smaller all over, not at all. Where the "skinny patches" are is humorous at times. I tell myself it's a work in progress and I'm glad I don't have judgemental people looking at my nakedself.
The skin thing has been a real surprise although interesting from a scientific perspective. Mine gets super soft, then wrinkly and floppy, then seems to significantly (although not totally) shrink; rinse; repeat. SO WEIRD. It's a like a new party game LOL14 -
Nobody told me that losing 50 pounds would be something I couldn't mention in public without being told that I was fatshaming people and triggering people. Um, you do you. This was my project this year, and for that matter, I'm STILL fat, so it's not like I'm lording it over anyone. But that's my project this year and I'll talk about it if people ask me what I did during the pandemic.40
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Oh yes. The Clapping Underarm syndrome, most noticeable when running up stairs. Have you had the awful chafing that goes with it? It last a couple months and thank goodness it disappeared.That if you move your arm too fast the extra skin kinda passes the attached stuff and has a mind of it's own!Sand_TIger wrote: »Something nobody told me about is how odd my body would be as I was losing the weight. How it would come off of unexpected places and how my belly would become this loose pouch of some fat, some apparently empty space, and a quantity of marbles made of Flubber. I'd heard of getting an "apron" but not a "partially deflated belly." How even though I am only around 30 pounds from goal weight, maybe less, there would be areas that still need MAJOR renovation - and I don't get smaller all over, not at all. Where the "skinny patches" are is humorous at times. I tell myself it's a work in progress and I'm glad I don't have judgemental people looking at my nakedself.
Yes yes yes yes. And more YES.
I think I’m undergoing another rearrangement right now. It’s unsettling.
Like entering in the Enterprise’s transporter room and coming out with Kirk’s head and Bones’ body or something. There’s were weeks when each new day was an adventure in “oh, wouldyalookatthat?!”10 -
@AlexandraFindsHerself1971 - I can't believe that someone would even imply that. Folks got their own issues. Too bad they don't work on their own crap before pointing fingers at you. Losing 50 pounds is an amazing achievement that has improved your life - you have every right to be proud of that. So, drop the haters from your life - you deserve better.11
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »Nobody told me that losing 50 pounds would be something I couldn't mention in public without being told that I was fatshaming people and triggering people. Um, you do you. This was my project this year, and for that matter, I'm STILL fat, so it's not like I'm lording it over anyone. But that's my project this year and I'll talk about it if people ask me what I did during the pandemic.
It's a GREAT personal project! "Fat-shaming?" Such an immature thing to accuse you of. If talking about good health is "triggering" then I feel pretty sorry for some folks. I get it, some people do have issues with disordered eating and I have compassion for that but I'd bet most of the folks giving you crap didn't really have a good reason to do so.
My own thing for the day is - nobody told me how amazingly delicious vegetables would become. Like, really super tasty. I love it. Yay for an evolving gut biome and palate.12 -
Today's "what nobody tells you" reflection - and I'm sure this has been mentioned a ton of times already - is that the body dysmorphia IS REAL, Y'ALL (not in the clinical sense, that's obviously real). Even with slightly increased confidence/comfort in my skin, I cannot fathom the idea of people actually finding me attractive. I know, I know, it takes a while for brains to catch up with reality when it comes to weight loss, but knowing that and living it are totally different things.
Brains are stupid.25 -
heavensshadow wrote: »Today's "what nobody tells you" reflection - and I'm sure this has been mentioned a ton of times already - is that the body dysmorphia IS REAL, Y'ALL (not in the clinical sense, that's obviously real). Even with slightly increased confidence/comfort in my skin, I cannot fathom the idea of people actually finding me attractive. I know, I know, it takes a while for brains to catch up with reality when it comes to weight loss, but knowing that and living it are totally different things.
Brains are stupid.
I get that. It's so important to keep telling yourself that you are worthy of other's attention and affection. It takes trust. But it's SO worth the journey.13 -
heavensshadow wrote: »Today's "what nobody tells you" reflection - and I'm sure this has been mentioned a ton of times already - is that the body dysmorphia IS REAL, Y'ALL (not in the clinical sense, that's obviously real). Even with slightly increased confidence/comfort in my skin, I cannot fathom the idea of people actually finding me attractive. I know, I know, it takes a while for brains to catch up with reality when it comes to weight loss, but knowing that and living it are totally different things.
Brains are stupid.
@heavensshadow.
You are beautiful. You are. ...a random internet unbiased reader...PS. why would I lie?
🙂
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@bourbon_n_barbells you had me at your username!
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@heavensshadow Your post is so spot on. I frequently look at the people that I see everyday and think that I am so much bigger than they are. Its not true but I find myself still allowing extra space around objects as if I was bigger and wincing when I sit on delicate chairs. You are right , brains are funny. Do you suppose that we make life choices to live up or down to our self image?16
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It was my understanding that maintenance would be just like losing except that you get more calories to play with. No one told me that actually, you don't get more calories to play with - unless you earn them through exercise.
This, though actually for the last few weeks I have maintained without exercise and not tracking food and that feels good. Yes: I maintained over Christmas and New Year! I hit my goal weight in that period too, though I am bit above it now.) No-one told me how challenging the switch of mindset to maintenance is, or how hard it is to decide where to maintain and within what range.
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Ive been maintaining for a couple months now. A coworker asked me in the breakroom while I was bent over getting something out of the fridge "are you trying to lose weight?" We work in different buildings but used to work in the same dept. He remembered me 20 lbs heavier. And had gotten a good view of my backside where all that weight was hanging. First person that noticed or at least said something about it18
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AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »Nobody told me that losing 50 pounds would be something I couldn't mention in public without being told that I was fatshaming people and triggering people. Um, you do you. This was my project this year, and for that matter, I'm STILL fat, so it's not like I'm lording it over anyone. But that's my project this year and I'll talk about it if people ask me what I did during the pandemic.
Oh yeah, some people are absolutely bonkers.
"I'm not your BEFORE" is one I've seen and heard several times. Yeah no kidding, lady, I'M my before, and I get to be not only unhappy about how MY life was previously, but I get to have goals for MY life and be proud when I reach them. You want to stay fat? You like it that way? Cool. You do you. I'm gonna find that hard to believe, based on my own experience, but I'm not gonna argue and tell you how you should feel about your own body. Crazy how that works.24 -
Your body will become less squishy but somehow more comfy to live in! 😊15
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elmusho1989 wrote: »Your body will become less squishy but somehow more comfy to live in! 😊
Apart from when it comes to sitting down on hard surfaces. - I'm going to miss that natural cushion when it dissapears again.
Small trair-off against increased stamina, better breathing even when going up stairs, and more comfortable sleep, though.13 -
What nobody told me I would hear on repeat once I reached a healthy weight, and typically from people who didn’t know me 50 lbs heavier: “you’re thin, you’re lucky!” or “you have a fast metabolism, you wouldn’t understand how hard it is” and my favorite “you have good genetics, you can eat anything” when I’m eating bread or something forbidden in their diet.
I never got mad, heck it was a compliment in my book. I guess I’ve always looked this size haha. But once the weight is lost, it’s hard for people to imagine your journey and that’s okay.31 -
I've actually struggled with self-confidence more, or in a different way, since losing some weight. I was 300 lbs. I lost about 65 lbs and was noticibly smaller to most people. But at that point I was very torn with my image vs reality because the skin was starting to sag in a few places. That really kind of depressed me and made me feel just, ugly. And, simultaneously, that was about April, 2020. Between that and sadness/anxiety/mild depression from '2020' itself, I've gained back 25 lbs.
Right now, I'm 'feeling' the weight again. My clothes are getting tight and shirts a little too short, and I'm at the point that I must get a hold myself or I'm going to have to buy new, bigger clothes and will probably get back to 300.
I never really thought about weightloss extra skin would be a deterrent for me. It didn't bother my husband. And it really wasn't noticible to other people, but it was flabby and actually uncomfortable with wearing pants or even sitting in some positions. I'm not sure what to do. I know that, medically, I'm healthier at less weight. I breathe better, sleep better, and generally feel better. At 300 lbs I was pushing into diabetes and high blood pressure. At 235 those seemed to be normal levels again. I was nearly halfway to my goal weight range of 150-160.
I'm not losing weigh to get attention. I want to be healthier and not a glutton. I want to be a good example for my children and to have more energy and stamina to live daily life, of which I was certainly gaining.
I'm rambling a bit now - I apologize.
I'm not sure that I've ever heard that after losing a significant amount of weight that I would feel less confident and uglier. But knowing that I'm healthier is probably going to be the prime motivation for me if I can get a hold of this. I crossed up over to 260 this morning.
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StephanieLWS wrote: »I never really thought about weightloss extra skin would be a deterrent for me. It didn't bother my husband. And it really wasn't noticible to other people, but it was flabby and actually uncomfortable with wearing pants or even sitting in some positions. I'm not sure what to do. I know that, medically, I'm healthier at less weight. I breathe better, sleep better, and generally feel better. At 300 lbs I was pushing into diabetes and high blood pressure. At 235 those seemed to be normal levels again.
I'm not looking to be sexy or get attention. I want to be healthier and not a glutton. I want to be a good example for my children and to have more energy and stamina to live daily life, of which I was certainly gaining.
I'm rambling a bit now - I apologize.
I'm not sure that I've ever heard that after losing a significant amount of weight that I would feel less confident and uglier. But knowing that I'm healthier is probably going to be the prime motivation for me if I can get a hold of this. I crossed up over to 260 this morning.
I hear you about the loose skin! I have some too and wouldn't like it if it were worse. Loose skin does recover after a while, especially after more fat disappears and there is less to continue stretching it. It's wonderful that your health is better! Slower weight loss tends to help reduce the loose skin issue as does weight training. My main point here is, it DOES get better. So you have that to look forward to. 19 -
@StephanieLWS - I lost 125 pounds. I have a turkey neck, dimpled thighs and something that looks like flubber in my lower abdomen. (It's actually very entertaining to play with!). Bodies are imperfect. You will never have a perfect body, because none of us do. But you will have a stronger body, a more resilient body, a healthier body, and yes, even a beautiful, though imperfect body when you get back on track. The loose skin is real, it does get better over time, and if it causes discomfort, there are surgical solutions. For myself, I plan to see what happens after 2 years in maintenance. I'm hopeful it will get better. I'm also learning to appreciate it.
Learning to love and appreciate your body at every weight is an important tool that will help you on your weight loss journey. I know it's not easy - it takes work and requires you reprogram the negative self image you've carried with you for so many years. But you owe it to yourself to find things you love about your body and learn to love its many imperfections.49 -
Everyones comments seem to be positive ones, my answer when reading this was "how much money you'll have to spend on surgeries afterwards". I get it, there are hundreds of positives I guess I just thought of the downside first probably because I am one surgery down and about to spend 12,000 on another.. it hits hard sometimes!
For a positive... umm.. nobody told me I'd have such cute high cheek bones after loosing weight. 100lbs+ in total.28 -
I didn't expect to have to need a new desk chair. I didn't get an especially big one or anything, but now I can't seem to comfortably use both armrests (arms are too far apart to be comfortable) and I'm not sure where to go to buy a comfortable chair that's narrower? Idek. Me and my cat can comfortably share the chair so that's been great for cat snuggles! Which is always a plus.
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your average calorie burn is significantly less when you weigh less.
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A lot of "mystery" aches, pains and physical glitches go away or get better. I'm more comfortable just laying in bed.16
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