The Many Faces (selfie thread)
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Deadman_Diggingup wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Great thread idea, I used these 4 pictures and will put the descriptions in the spoiler because its Long 😅😆Great thread idea ❤
I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life but my lowest started 3 years ago
1st pic = Severe anxiety, pushing everyone i loved away because I thought everyone was better without me and I didn't want to get hurt so I hurt others instead. Suicidal thoughts, began drinking to forget how to feel. Did things that I still regret to this day.
2nd Picture: Was hit with the tragic news that after removing a stage 1 cancer and thinking it was over... it came back with a vengance. Stage 3 Breast Cancer that was spread in my Lymphnodes. I knew I had a big fight ahead of me that would also make me lose body parts, my hair.. to top it all off I found out I was carrying a BRCA gene which increased my chances of getting other cancers too so that meant even more surgeries just so I could prevent them. Prognosis wasn't that great. I hit the lowest of low.
3rd Picture : I was tired, had started aggressive chemo for 8 months and that nearly stripped me to zero. I still tried to put my brave face on but it was hard, bad news after bad news but couldn't give up. my kids needed me but so many days I just wanted to stop everything. My kids were my whole reason to stay alive.
4th picture : 9 months in remission. After being on fight mode for so long, I've been suffering from severe PTSD but you know what? I'm the happiest I've ever been because I see life in a different light and I refuse to not do everything it takes to be as healthy as I can be, counseling, healthy diet, no alcohol. I wish I could have seen how precious it was to be alive 3 years ago. I'm not the same person but I feel more like myself than I ever have. My 10 year survival rate isn't what I wished it would be but you know what? It's ok because I'm here now and I'm going to do every damn things it takes to stay healthy. I deserve that
You are one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever wished to meet.
Thank you ❤ I used to be afraid to speak about it especially in here in these forums where I've been accused of faking my illness and I've gotten so much hate while I was suffering. Probably one of the reasons I've left so often and came back. Today tho.. I am gona continue to share my story because I know there's some people out there going through hard times that need to see that it's not always dark. Life has given me a second chance and I choose kindness and helping others because we never know who needs it.
I wish I could edit this because I feel like I have made it look like I was getting hate in here for nothing. Yes, some of it was for nothing from people who have never even spoken to me, some of it really hurt me because I was at my lowest and I couldn't believe that some people were so cruel to laugh at my illness when I was struggling to stay alive but with that said... I am far from perfect and I have hurt some people too and I definitely have not always been nice. When I think of myself back then, it brings tears to my eyes because I was not a happy person and that made me ugly on the inside with people I truely cared about. I have no hard feelings for those people, none of them.8 -
This thread is amazing as are all of you.
Just amazing.4 -
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.17 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.
♥️0 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.
i remember the 20's - more like sex booze and rock and roll back then for me... i think many of us went through equivalent in one way or another. generational trauma is a *kitten* to go through. i hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me.
the best is yet to come, lovely. it's your time to shine. i love your colorful photos and i like your soul.3 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.
Look at that beautiful smile. With a mindset like that you will reach for the stars ❤4 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.
You’ve always been mysterious to me so this is incredible to learn. Thank you for sharing.2 -
Yoshiboobs wrote: »
I actually like this picture. I don’t keep photos I associate directly with bad times. I’ve been someone who’s always suffered with crippling anxiety and depression. There was never a time that I felt happy and safe and what I’d view as ‘normal’.
I chose this picture since this stage of my mid twenties and bad coping was the time period that I’m most ashamed of. Sex, drugs and rock n’roll as it were.
It got real long, 🤷🏻♀️I’m still embarrassed when I visit my hometown because of the way I was living back then. How I didn’t end up in someone’s basement or a ditch is beyond me.
I was trying to party myself into the ground because I never saw a future for myself. Bad home life. I was surprised to make it to 18 and even now, the thought of aging and making plans for the future still blows my mind. The rock bottoms I’ve slithered out of is outright miraculous tbh.
I was stoned every day, all day. I was getting blackout drunk often. I was ‘hanging out’ with strangers regularly. Anything that could take me out of my head for a while was my only goal.
I rebelled so hard from my holier than thou, well behaved prudish, rule following previous self. I didn’t want any part of responsibility. It felt like heavy chains, like a trap. I had been a mom my whole childhood (to my siblings) and I couldn’t be ‘responsible’ anymore. I didn’t want to take care of anyone or even myself.
This time period was right after a major breakup with the guy I thought I was going to marry and have kids with. I felt like everything was ruined so why not? True love didn’t exist and that ‘finding true love and happily ever after’ was the last dream I was holding onto as naive as it was.
It kind of turned out that after a while, none of it was fun or even exciting anymore. It was just sad, the people I partied with were sad. Tensions were running high at home and I was paranoid that my brother was going to harm me so I ran away with someone safe to the next state.
Normally I think people want their family to know where they are but I felt so safe and like I could breath again living in a small country house with some nice guy and nobody could reach me. I still had things to work through but I was sober and safe for once. (I was never an addict btw, just throwing that out there bc it sounds that way. The fun grass kept me from that path being non addictive and all.) I had to figure out how to be a normal person and it’s years later but I feel closer than ever to that.
I want things now and feel like I deserve better. I want to do good again. Help animals and maybe people like me. Ready to take care of my own (hopefully in future) kids. Ready for the chains, no, commitment to the goals I have. Breaking generational curses and trying to believe in a normal, happy and safe life as an option for me. I no longer feel like I should punish myself and go without. I matter. I’m caring and being soft is not a weakness. Being reckless isn’t bad@ss. I’m fully capable of success. And ya, I don’t need man (or anyone) taking care of me.
If people want to judge me for being open then so be it I suppose.
Thank you for sharing.
Our beginnings sound rather similar.1 -
It’s not lost on me that only women have shared pics/stories here. Is the stigma worse for men? Or is it just this particular venue3
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Great thread idea, I used these 4 pictures and will put the descriptions in the spoiler because its Long 😅😆Great thread idea ❤
I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life but my lowest started 3 years ago
1st pic = Severe anxiety, pushing everyone i loved away because I thought everyone was better without me and I didn't want to get hurt so I hurt others instead. Suicidal thoughts, began drinking to forget how to feel. Did things that I still regret to this day.
2nd Picture: Was hit with the tragic news that after removing a stage 1 cancer and thinking it was over... it came back with a vengance. Stage 3 Breast Cancer that was spread in my Lymphnodes. I knew I had a big fight ahead of me that would also make me lose body parts, my hair.. to top it all off I found out I was carrying a BRCA gene which increased my chances of getting other cancers too so that meant even more surgeries just so I could prevent them. Prognosis wasn't that great. I hit the lowest of low.
3rd Picture : I was tired, had started aggressive chemo for 8 months and that nearly stripped me to zero. I still tried to put my brave face on but it was hard, bad news after bad news but couldn't give up. my kids needed me but so many days I just wanted to stop everything. My kids were my whole reason to stay alive.
4th picture : 9 months in remission. After being on fight mode for so long, I've been suffering from severe PTSD but you know what? I'm the happiest I've ever been because I see life in a different light and I refuse to not do everything it takes to be as healthy as I can be, counseling, healthy diet, no alcohol. I wish I could have seen how precious it was to be alive 3 years ago. I'm not the same person but I feel more like myself than I ever have. My 10 year survival rate isn't what I wished it would be but you know what? It's ok because I'm here now and I'm going to do every damn things it takes to stay healthy. I deserve that
you deserve everything - and more. look at your warrior face, cherie. there is triumph written all over it.3 -
lisamestiza2021 wrote: »
You are the kindest sweetest woman in existence ❤️❤️2 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »What a fantastic thread! Around a month ago, I was suffering a lot of raw emotion and high anxiety levels as I had decided to stop drinking alcohol, I had a lot of raw emotion to deal with and nothing could have prepared me for it. Crippling anxiety, suicidal thoughts & feeling hopeless & helpless. I took this picture on Snapchat at the time, to basically take my mind off things & it really stuck out to me how 'happy' I appeared. So, not everyone who is suffering appears that way. So I always try to just be kind to everyone regardless of who they are / look like. You don't know what someone else is going through. Be kind. It's free. Anyone out there dealing with anxiety, depression or whatever it may be, you are not alone & things can / do get better & improve. (FWIW giving up the alcohol was hard at the beginning but really has helped me tremendously with my mental health 💖)
giving up the bottle is a great choice. i did for a year, *years ago i should add* and it changed me profoundly.you took a big step for the better. there used to be threads here for support for non drinkers - not sure if there still is.
i see peace and serenity in this pic. stay on the path Lady4 -
I'll start with a photo that was taken by my father, who had no clue anything was wrong at the onset of my major issues with depression and anxiety. This photo was taken on our family vacation when I was 20, right before I began a very serious descent into depression-related alcoholism and abuse. No one who knew me had any clue anything was going on, that I wasn't eating, that I was pretty much only consuming calories via alcohol and juice and that I had already attempted suicide twice.
That summer, he guilted me into going on a trip. I am not unhappy about the trip or the experience I had with them, but I was resentful at the time because all I wanted to do was be left alone, drink, do my classes and wait for my inevitable end. This was before I ever got an official diagnosis, so I was unaware that what I was experiencing or how I was behaving was in fact, not normal. I had talked to school psychologists off and on at that point, but none of them truly clicked and because it was a free service, each student was only given 6 free sessions a semester, so I only truly talked to them once a month or so.
I'll share more photos with context as I find them, but I'm tired and it's 1AM here. Toodles.
15 -
We all have our crosses to bear in life. But to see the ways you're all still shining and muscling your way through your personal challenges; it is awesome to hear about and to see. Keep up your courage, your hope and your strength!!
I hope there are people reading these posts, thinking 'if they can do it, then so can I!' Sometimes all it takes is knowing another person is going or has gone through similar circumstances to make them not give in to their demons.6 -
I have very few pics.....actually zero pics of when my life was darkest. My life never really started to be what might be deemed normal until just after 30 yrs of age. I did have my 4 year stint in the Marine corp in the middle of the hell that was my life....which even though i enjoyed it just made me a more disciplined mess.
I shared some of my story on here a couple of years ago but i was not very well liked here at the time and it really jaded me about really sharing too much real stuff anymore.
But basically without tons of deatail, my life as a kid and young adult was could have been one of those inner city movies.....born in Puerto Rico, came to NYC as a kid, lived in one of the worst projects in the Bronx, white people sucked, my dad was a criminial that disappeared when i was 12, most likely killed but could have just run off. I had 2 older sisters, 1 was killed in a domestic violence dispute and her bf was killed by the cops. My other sister ran off with a dude and i have never heard from her again. I had a younger brother and he is really the only person i acknowledge from what was my immediate "family", and if not for his daughter i am not sure how much he would be in my life today either. My mother was a prostitute. When i was 15 she ran off with some white dude that apparently offered her a better life. Not sure how that ended up, never saw her again. I bounced around among other families for a few years until i escaped into the Marine Corp. The guilt i feel for abandoning my younger brother is the only reason i deal with his crap today. He stayed in the streets and never left until his girl was born almost 12 yrs ago. He is 47.
I promise you, you cannot relate to me, and i cannot relate to you. It makes me a nightmare to try and be close with and i will disappoint you if you try. But i have made huge changes to my life. And im what most would call a success story.....and yeah, ill be annoying and remind you of it sometimes too. As civilized as i am or try to be, i still have some of that street kid bravado that likes to talk *kitten* and show off.
As far as pictures.....what you see here when i take a selfie is practically all i got. Besides i or 2 pics of me in the 90's with long hair, or 1 marine pic.....there is no photographic memory of my life.19 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »I wish I could hug every single one of you.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. I noticed how many of you shared photos where you were smiling, and pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how STRONG you are as a person..
We' are all a little bent, but we are not broken. ❤️
Love your last sentence.
I've had the deepest utmost respect and appreciation for you for quite awhile now, just knowing the job you do. But reading your story on this thread upped my it all 100%.
I also believe going through these challenges gives us all the gift of empathy, something that's sorely needed these days.
@Revolu7 Sounds like a rough start for you, We all harbor guilt feelings for stuff we did/didn't do, should've done, etc. It sounds like you've worked hard to get where you are now and you should feel proud, not guilty in any way. Much of who we are relates to choices we make, unless you're talking about chemical imbalances. Sounds like you've made some tough, strong and wise choices. It's not easy finding and staying on the straight and narrow road sometimes.
Only bad choice you've made is to not post your long-hair picture.
@tams_89 I'm glad you left and never returned to such a life when your ds was little. That, alone, takes a lot of strength and is sooo much harder to do than many people realize. Many look at a situation and think 'just leave, why are you still there?' But life is never black and white. I hope you're surrounded by more support now and can stay strong. (HUGS) to you!!!3 -
This photo was a big turning point for me, I broke down but I opened up
I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember but the biggest trigger and lowest point for me was when I was 18 and a new Mom, not really talking to my Dad and my Mom living in Portugal. My ex started taking drugs when I was pregnant and I felt trapped and hopeless. I found an early morning job and started saving to get me and my son out. One day on my way back from work something didn't feel quite right, I opened my front door and found my 13 month old son hysterically crying and his "Dad" so high on drugs he could not speak. That day I took my boy and never looked back. But I have suffered with anxiety and depression ever since. I can usually manage the anxiety but when the depression sinks in, I find it overwhelming and shut myself away. Last year after a huge family fall out I broke down, I took this photo. It upsets me to look at but it was a huge turning point for me. I reached out to my doctor, my Mom and Dad and my close friends. I have let everything out and I am no longer going to let it beat me. I still have bad days but I am no longer dwelling on the past that I can not change. One day at a time.
Big hugs Tams 🤗1 -
lisamestiza2021 wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Great thread idea, I used these 4 pictures and will put the descriptions in the spoiler because its Long 😅😆Great thread idea ❤
I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life but my lowest started 3 years ago
1st pic = Severe anxiety, pushing everyone i loved away because I thought everyone was better without me and I didn't want to get hurt so I hurt others instead. Suicidal thoughts, began drinking to forget how to feel. Did things that I still regret to this day.
2nd Picture: Was hit with the tragic news that after removing a stage 1 cancer and thinking it was over... it came back with a vengance. Stage 3 Breast Cancer that was spread in my Lymphnodes. I knew I had a big fight ahead of me that would also make me lose body parts, my hair.. to top it all off I found out I was carrying a BRCA gene which increased my chances of getting other cancers too so that meant even more surgeries just so I could prevent them. Prognosis wasn't that great. I hit the lowest of low.
3rd Picture : I was tired, had started aggressive chemo for 8 months and that nearly stripped me to zero. I still tried to put my brave face on but it was hard, bad news after bad news but couldn't give up. my kids needed me but so many days I just wanted to stop everything. My kids were my whole reason to stay alive.
4th picture : 9 months in remission. After being on fight mode for so long, I've been suffering from severe PTSD but you know what? I'm the happiest I've ever been because I see life in a different light and I refuse to not do everything it takes to be as healthy as I can be, counseling, healthy diet, no alcohol. I wish I could have seen how precious it was to be alive 3 years ago. I'm not the same person but I feel more like myself than I ever have. My 10 year survival rate isn't what I wished it would be but you know what? It's ok because I'm here now and I'm going to do every damn things it takes to stay healthy. I deserve that
you deserve everything - and more. look at your warrior face, cherie. there is triumph written all over it.
❤ you have been a inspiration to me through my battle and you still are today2 -
At least two people in this thread have mentioned that they've gotten negative feedback here on MFP after intimately sharing pieces of their life story. I'm really sorry that ever happened. It's disappointing. The mere fact that you've come back to open up and share your stories again is a testament to your resilience.
On the flip side, I've seen at least one disagree in the thread too. Generally, I tend not to pay attention to "Disagrees" or I'll troll back for my entertainment. But of all places to be uncouth, let it not be here. Like, really, any other thread where people aren't sharing their mental health testimony is fine. Stay kind out here, y'all.
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