Confession of a former (almost) 500lbs guy

My bad habits started in my childhood.

It was just my mom and me, we'd frequently cook Hamburger Helpers or other family meals and eat the whole five servings between the two of us. My summer lunches were always a plate of chicken nuggets with a whole can of peas covered in cheese. We used food as "rewards." If I had to get up early for a doctor appointment, I got McDonald's for breakfast. If we took the cat to the vet, we'd stop by the BK next door. We were HUGE snackers. We would both mindlessly eat all night long in front of the TV. Chicken nuggets, nachos, candy, anything we had (usually carb-loaded).

My freshman year of college my grandma gave me a giant bag of quarters for laundry. We later found out laundry was free on campus so of course I used all that money in the vending machine. My junior year I spent all my extra meal plan money on Coke from the coffee shop.

As an adult, I've frequently eaten fast food for "rewards" as well. Hard day at work? McDonald's. Too tired and stressed to cook anything (i.e. don't have anything delicious in the house)? Taco Bell. Having both open 24 hours and down the street didn't help. We'd also celebrate big events with multiple nights out instead of just one.

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Mine was similar-- eating a full dinner...then 8 or 9 would come around and i was STARVING (*rolls eyes*)-- so i would eat another full dinner.

Not at all blaming others for my obesity BUT now knowing how many calories are in meals --- HOW IS THIS LEGAL?? how can one meal at a chain restaurant have 1500 calories in it?! it's bizarre. I never realized this before MFP. The old me would eat that whole meal plus a dessert - when today i eat 1200 calories total for the day. it's amazing how many calories we consume when we're blindly eating.

Agreed! my prev post when I started I plugged in what I would eat on an average day and it was OVER 4000 calories!!! plus just sitting ALL day!

I had this same realization recently. That I'm probably eating like half of the calories I used to eat when I had no idea how many calories were in anything... sheesh. it's like you suddenly "wake up" and think, my god, no wonder I got so fat! lol...

Wow it is amazing how many of these stories remind me of myself. I have been guilty of many of these same habits and thankfully am now learning to recognize them before they start. Food addiction is a really power thing and like I once heard someone say it is hard to quit because we need it to survive. You all are so inspiring and it is so wonderful to have such a "family" that we can all relate and support each other.

wow! Thanks for sharing! I go get 1/2 gallons of ice cream, eat it in the car, throw away the evidence and look just as shocked as everyone else about my weight! i need to stop this behavior before it kills me!

bmmadeen, sounds like me....Blue Bell ice cream is sold locally, and I used to be their number one customer...esp the Homemade Vanilla and the Tin Roof.......chocolate decadane. And there were times I could finish the whole half gal....pretty sad

Glad I m not the only one....those days are in the past, thankfully....Nice post 500 lb man...LLoyd

Oh! Am I the only one who has ordered 2 drinks, just so it would look like I wasn't eating it all myself? Lol! I probably only did it once... most of the other times I just didn't care, but still... that's funny!

For quite a while I would go to subway after class and order at least 1/2 a dozen cookies...

That's 1,200+ calories right there... Did that every day for months on top of the useless junk meals and snacks.

My bad relationship with food began at age 18. I was friggin miserable. Living in a dump of a place, in a relationship that was just plain weird, doing a degree I just felt under-prepared for and out of my depth (I did it though and did well), my family were unsupportive, I felt very alone.
During the tougher times I would stop at the supermarket and buy things like satay sticks, samosas, chocolate, sausage rolls, anything with cheese in and a pack of ten *kitten* (cigarettes).

I would eat everything I had whilst smoking as many cigs as I could, then throw the wrappers and remaining cigs in the bin and go home. Never admit, never confess, hide the evidence.

Looking back now I wonder if I was subconsciously trying to break a Guiness record for the quickest self induced heart attack!

I was looking for a particular pair of boots under my bed through the week, and I found two separate carrier bags with chocolate bars and crisps, sweets, some uneaten, some empty wrappers, that I stashed as an emergency, cos I didn't want anyone to know about, or share. It brought back some weird emotions, not only the fact that they were there in the first place but that I was the sort of person that did that.
I would not eat till maybe three or four in the afternoon, but boy did I make up for it. I would go to shop before I picked the kids up from school and get whatever chocolate bars were on offer - 3 for a pound or whatever - it made me feel better than spending more on them, then sit in the car and eat them. I would hide food under my bed, in my wardrobe, in the car, handbag, jacket pockets, on top of cupboards, anywhere really. I would eat huge portions of dinner and leftovers from kids plates, during the evening I would retrieve some of my stash from wherever and shut myself in the loo and ram in into my face without tasting or even enjoying it. Thats what makes me sad, when I have my meals now, I look forward to them, I enjoy them. The old me barely tasted anything, just crammed stuff in to numb whatever I was feeling at the time, I'm amazed that after 30 years of abuse (started as an early teen) that I was only 70lbs overweight, and not 200lbs.
Its refreshing to hear others stories, I love how people can be open on here, no-one knows this in my 'real' life, it makes me feel that I am not a freak or a weirdo for doing those things, I just hope that those days are gone forever...oh, and case you were wondering, those carriers bags, I binned them