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Great bodies and attractiveness or Money and success catch our eye?

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  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,204 Member
    AliciaHollywood wrote: »
    I had that exact dilemma in my mid 20’s. A young hot guy and his wealthy boss were both hitting on me at an event. I danced with both of them. The boss was older too. I really liked the younger guy and had more in common with him because of age but also really attracted physically. I’m glad I picked him, we had a relationship for several years. I found out the boss was married! There was the added age difference though too. Now I’d probably pick money though, assuming he was single and had a good personality. Security is more important than looks as you get older. In both cases though, you have to be careful because both really good looking guys and super rich are usually players and not very loyal.

    Yet another reason why I think people (of either sex) are best served to work for financial security for themselves, rather than depending on a partner.

    The older one gets, the worse the demographics get, for straight women (maybe others, but that's the case I'm most familiar with, as a 65 y/o widow). Women significantly outnumber men, most of the sane ones are partnered, the ones who aren't can pick and choose, and those who are financially well off are usually more able to pick young (something many men might prefer, but ample money is a nice sweetener to seal that deal).

    Yeah, I'm a cynic. But one who's glad she considered her own earning/saving/investing power over the decades, rather than depending on a partner for security. Not rich, but not deeply worried about covering rent/grocery kind of stuff, either, unlike many of my age peers, sadly.
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,989 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    AliciaHollywood wrote: »
    I had that exact dilemma in my mid 20’s. A young hot guy and his wealthy boss were both hitting on me at an event. I danced with both of them. The boss was older too. I really liked the younger guy and had more in common with him because of age but also really attracted physically. I’m glad I picked him, we had a relationship for several years. I found out the boss was married! There was the added age difference though too. Now I’d probably pick money though, assuming he was single and had a good personality. Security is more important than looks as you get older. In both cases though, you have to be careful because both really good looking guys and super rich are usually players and not very loyal.

    Yet another reason why I think people (of either sex) are best served to work for financial security for themselves, rather than depending on a partner.

    The older one gets, the worse the demographics get, for straight women (maybe others, but that's the case I'm most familiar with, as a 65 y/o widow). Women significantly outnumber men, most of the sane ones are partnered, the ones who aren't can pick and choose, and those who are financially well off are usually more able to pick young (something many men might prefer, but ample money is a nice sweetener to seal that deal).

    Yeah, I'm a cynic. But one who's glad she considered her own earning/saving/investing power over the decades, rather than depending on a partner for security. Not rich, but not deeply worried about covering rent/grocery kind of stuff, either, unlike many of my age peers, sadly.

    Yes to all this. I am always shocked when I hear young women say they want to find a man to "take care" of them.

    Really? You don't want to make sure you have some individual financial security? Maybe finish school and learn some skills just in case?

    That said, my husband says that what caught his eye is the fact that I had health insurance.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    I'm only attracted to people I have a connection with. A combination of intelligence, success, personality. Obviously the person being attractive to me helps, but I find very specific things attractive. I don't find gym rats attractive personally. A best friend, a creative genius, someone who has multiple degrees, intelligence. That is where it's at. For me at least
  • SunnyBunBun79
    SunnyBunBun79 Posts: 2,228 Member
    edited February 2021
    I am honestly a bit scared of men who look rich ( nice cars, clothes etc) I feel like they would require their lady to have such high maintenance as well , that sounds very stressful to keep up and Im super low maintenance :D

    On the other hand, if his place is a mess and personal hygiene is a myth to him and he cant hold down a job for long then it's a red flag...but from first glance it would be if I can smell him and it's bad :D

    Not sure if I have figure out how to sense an in between , well balanced guy yet. They dont smell bad, they dont smell like anything! And they dress normal! How to know!?
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
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  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    AliciaHollywood wrote: »
    I had that exact dilemma in my mid 20’s. A young hot guy and his wealthy boss were both hitting on me at an event. I danced with both of them. The boss was older too. I really liked the younger guy and had more in common with him because of age but also really attracted physically. I’m glad I picked him, we had a relationship for several years. I found out the boss was married! There was the added age difference though too. Now I’d probably pick money though, assuming he was single and had a good personality. Security is more important than looks as you get older. In both cases though, you have to be careful because both really good looking guys and super rich are usually players and not very loyal.

    Yet another reason why I think people (of either sex) are best served to work for financial security for themselves, rather than depending on a partner.

    The older one gets, the worse the demographics get, for straight women (maybe others, but that's the case I'm most familiar with, as a 65 y/o widow). Women significantly outnumber men, most of the sane ones are partnered, the ones who aren't can pick and choose, and those who are financially well off are usually more able to pick young (something many men might prefer, but ample money is a nice sweetener to seal that deal).

    Yeah, I'm a cynic. But one who's glad she considered her own earning/saving/investing power over the decades, rather than depending on a partner for security. Not rich, but not deeply worried about covering rent/grocery kind of stuff, either, unlike many of my age peers, sadly.

    The thought of HAVING to rely on someone else to meet my financial needs terrifies me, probably due to what I've seen multiple women in my life go through. I always want to be able to choose to be alone or be with someone due to choice/preference, rather than needing someone.

    I get that for many women it feels like a luxury to be able to be able to depend on a partner for security, but I'd just feel anxious and trapped.

    (This isn't a judgment of women who don't share my particular set of anxieties around self-sufficiency, it's just something that I can't imagine feeling myself).
  • yirara
    yirara Posts: 9,941 Member
    I don't care about random people in the street. I like people I can laugh with, discuss politics with, do fun things with, and who have somewhat of an intellect to make it all happen.
  • penguinmama87
    penguinmama87 Posts: 1,155 Member
    edited March 2021
    To strip it down to its bare essentials, I think both physical attractiveness and financial security matter from a kind of evolutionary standpoint - if you're attractive, healthy, and strong, you're more likely to have babies, and if you have good access to resources, you'll likely be able to make sure they survive into adulthood. That's a really bare bones way of looking at it, and might not seem to fit our contemporary existence with its seemingly infinite possibilities, but there is a kind of logic to it on that level.

    I've definitely had the experience of thinking a person is incredibly attractive - and then they begin talking. :D

    The other aspect is potential and longevity. I think a lot of people look for "right now" and not necessarily the future. I was always future minded when dating - "OK, so this guy works hard and is family minded. He might not be rich right now, and might not ever be, but he's not ever going to be a slouch." THAT was hugely important to me. Also confronting the reality that if the relationship is long-term, or permanent, that eventually one of you will die, and if you're lucky you will probably "lose" your physical attractiveness (at least how we typically think of it) well before that.

    I also think a lot of people think about what kind of partner they want, but not about what kind of partner they want to be!

    I remember reading several years ago that spousal abandonment is a real risk when one becomes suddenly ill, which makes me incredibly sad.
  • RunsWithBees
    RunsWithBees Posts: 1,508 Member
    I really don’t care about money or body (as long as they can take care of themselves at least and I don’t care about muscles or being overweight) What attracts me is: a compatible sense of humor, face, hands (especially how his hands move), voice (voice is even more important than face), smell (his natural scent, not artificial perfumes or colognes) creativity and imagination are also important and we just have to get along really well in general (I’m not the easiest person to get along with, I’m extremely introverted) Luckily for me I found my guy <3 Been together for 11+ years, what attracted me to him initially was his writing style and he just happened to have everything else I like and more! :)

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