I am, apparently a clown. Lost 130lbs, and put every single pound back on in the last two years.

Geocitiesuser · March 2021

Welcome to the circus! Just need to vent this out, as.... I don't really know where to vent it out at.

myfitnesspal was absolutely instrumental in getting into the best shape of my life (also a lot of weight lifting and martial arts). It took me around 2-3 years to go from 315lbs to 185lbs.

I mean, things I'm sure were slowly creeping back on, but then the pandemic hit. I didn't leave my house, didn't exercise, had all my food delivered, etc for a year.

Stepped on the scale today. Holy cow.

I went from having visible vascularity on my legs to stay puft marshmallow man in the blink of an eye. I thought I was like 250ish, MAYBE 260ish, but wow. Every single pound came back.

Lessons learned! Not much I can do but go back at it! At least I have a better handle on "new normal" now, and have a diet/exercise routine that works despite the quarantine/pandemic. Just wish I did it a year ago, but oh well!

This pandemic has been awful. Absolutely truly awful. The government telling me to #stayhome did incredible damage to my physical and mental health, and took a long time to get a handle on.

cmriverside · March 2021

You're not alone in the fact that the pandemic has been difficult. True story.

I'm really sorry you're back at square one for the weight, though.

How did you not see the increasing pounds? I mean, I only lost 80 pounds but I still step on the scale regularly and if I'm above my Five Pound range, I do something. That's been a key line I don't cross. Otherwise I can tend to let my mental state rule the day...and if I had let it rule the past year I definitely would have put on a lot of pounds.

Ugh. I can't even imagine having to lose that 80 pounds again. I really feel for you. Hopefully, lesson learned, right?

Now - back at it! You know what to do.

cadyh199 · March 2021

The pandemic has been rough. I thought I was immune to weight gain (my parents and siblings have always been rather thin) but because of my inactivity during quarantine, I became overweight for the first time in my life, and the heaviest I've ever been. I know what a kick that can be to your confidence. Glad to see you're dealing with it by getting back into being healthy! I know I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!!

Poobah1972 · March 2021

I lost ~250 pounds also big into gym and powerlifting and then ballooned back up to ~500 pounds over the last 10 years (well I half hearted started to loose in 2018 till christmas then 2019 was a wipe). So I was a bigger clown then you!

Part of my issue was when I was at my healthiest and strongest I basically told myself If I ever let it happen again, i would just give up. It took this long to just get over it already, and a supporting fiance to realize there is no reason to wait any longer. What's in the past is in the past. We just need to learn from it going forward.

Namely, learning to live a maintenance life style regardless to what life throws at us.

Glad your starting again... And all the best my fellow Clown!

sarah12277 · March 2021

The pandemic has been brutal. The statistics for weight loss aren't kind so most people do gain it back. I had lost 60 lbs many years ago. I stopped doing the things I was doing to get there and it slowly came back after many years. I'm now working on getting back to that point again. Make sure whatever changes you're making are sustainable. That the food changes are ones you're willing to do for life. That the amount of exercise is what you also expect to keep up. Analyze how you got there in the past and see what things can be done better or differently. You know what you need to do so just keep at it.

FitAgainBy55 · March 2021

It happens -- even in better circumstances without a pandemic. I lost 25% of my body weight 10 years ago and reached my peak fitness in my entire life at 45. I maintained for 5+ years and then slowly became less active and then the weight slowly creeped up again over several years until I had to start over.

Luckily I'm half way back to my goal again now and I'd hope (but who knows) that I never have to do this again.

There are some lessons to be learned, however. In fact, these weren't lessons learned for me ... just things I allowed myself to slip on:

This is the process I employed to successfully maintain for 5+ years before:

Once you reach your goal weight, donate all of your old clothes. DO NOT KEEP bigger or lose fitting clothes.
Never go more than 1 week without weighing.
Whenever your average weight goes up by more than 2 lbs, it's time to go back into weight loss mode.
Whenever your clothes start fitting too tight, it's time to go back into weight loss mode.
Whenever you are tempted to buy bigger cloths, it's time to go back into weight loss mode.

It's actually a very simple process and it worked for me for several years. But then I created a new startup company while still maintaining my full time job and worked 80 hours a week for 2 years. Eating fast food for dinner (driving straight from my full time job to the warehouse where I had all my startup equipment) and zero exercise caught up with me. I bought bigger clothes because this startup thing was 'temporary' and a 'valid' excuse. I stopped weighing because this startup thing was 'temporary'. I kept buying bigger clothes and then 'temporary' turned into permanent.

It happens. The good news is you (and I) know exactly how to be successful losing the weight. The question is do we learn from our mistakes and maintain our goal once we get back.

JustaNoob · March 2021

I definitely feel this. I lost 40lbs at one point, then my weight slowly crept up 10lbs. Then during March 2020 alone, I put on 20lbs. I lost my job then got a new one and felt so relieved to have a job that I just ate all the fast food.

Then I freaked out about it and kept trying to get it off really quick before anyone noticed. All year I was spinning my wheels until I took a deep breath and got back to doing what I needed to do. 10lbs down now.

My biggest advice would be to take a deep breath and just get back to it. And don't avoid your friends and family in shame. Chances are they struggled themselves or know many who did.

OhMsDiva · March 2021

Let me add my two cents. I was 500+ in 2015. I was miserable and very depressed. On my 45th bday I decided to change all that. Over the next 2-3 years I lost 200+ lbs. I had a weight that I was very comfortable with. I maintained that weight until last year.
I guess I could blame the pandemic, but not really. I tried IF and it was great at first. I lost about 20 lbs in 2 weeks. For some odd reason I wanted to test it out and see if I could eat what I wanted and still lose weight. I did, for a while, then I of course gained the 20 back and then some.
I have been working at going back to eating the way I was, but I gained more weight since then. I never stopped exercising and I weigh every week no matter what.
It is frustrating, but I know it is in my power to get back on the right track. I could kick myself for going against what was working, but no sense crying over spilled milk.

Geocitiesuser · March 2021

That's the trick. Don't cry over the spilled milk, just mop it up before it stinks any worse.

Don't get me wrong, I'm depressed and upset at myself to an extent but at the same time, it kind of doesn't matter. It just means I have to go back to basics, the basics I should have never left.

I don't know why some people are prone to being overweight, and some are not. I just wish it didn't have such an impact socially. I think it will be a long time before I'm accepted again. That's the only bitter part.

ybeavis1 · March 2021

I’m among many who put back weight previously lost during the pandemic. It’s been a tough time. I’m trying to look forward, not to dwell on failure.

DancingMoosie · March 2021

I work out every day at home, usually with YouTube. I usually end up working out more during quarantine because I don't have to go to work...I can spend more time working out. You just have to be disciplined about your diet and exercise and not just order takeout or eat junk. Cook healthy meals.

toadflaxbex · March 2021

So get this. Nice 4st loss in 2019 and here we go again back to square one 🤦🏻‍♀️

ZoneFive · March 2021

Then I'm one of those clowns, too -- a repeat offender, honestly. There are a lot of us out here. You're not alone! Beating yourself up about it doesn't burn any calories, so maybe give that a miss.

Welcome back, and all good wishes!

Diatonic12 · March 2021

It's absolutely useless to diminish yourself with any name calling after the fact. Don't go there and don't let your brain try to shame you now.

Not one single time did the brain stop you during the eating it all back phase. Not one time. It allowed you to go right back where you started without calling you one single name. Don't let that brain come back and pull that on you, now.

Don't go back to what you did the first go around because that approach will no longer serve you. So much of this stuff is mental but if any of this is going to stick going forward it has to be done without any massive rationalization or excuses.

Life has no pause button. Life keeps going come hail or high water. Doing things we don't want to do all in the name of weight loss is the recipe for eating it all back. This time you can't press pause. Don't let feelings or pandemics or earthquakes or tornadoes drive your behavior or the brain will be right back in the driver's seat.

The brain likes nothing better than to drive, drive, drive you right back where you started. This time don't let any feelings drive your behaviors. That includes willpower and motivation that are both rooted in feelings and emotions. Those are limited resources because they run out. This time you have to dig deep and find the deeper meaning for doing this so that it will stick.

Even in the middle of something out of our control we will benefit from the hard earned knowledge. Replace all of that name calling with ACTION. There's no such thing as the lucky day to Begin and and there's no such thing as the Finish Line. The day you choose and decide to do it is your lucky day.

ashleycarole86 · March 2021

I can relate to many parts of this. The feeling of starting over can be morally defeating. I have never reached my goal weight... just lost and gained and lost and gained and each gain is slightly larger than the last. I can get so mad at myself for that, but at the end of the day, I just try to remind myself that there is zero that anger about the past can do, and what matters is that I'm here now.

But, it can be super depressing for sure. My mind likes to go to how I never should have gotten here in the first place.

Yet here we are. So let's get to it, take it all a day at a time, and not let the discouraging mind sidetrack us. I know when I'm in that space it certainly won't help me move forward.

Best of luck to you.

laurad1978 · March 2021

One thought that is keeping me motivated at the moment during lockdown is: I was lucky to not get covid and not suffer from long covid. There are so many people where exercise is not an option and they don't know if and when it will be.

When I'm having a tough day I remind myself I'm really really lucky to be in control of my health and be able to make the changes I want. It might be hard but at least it's an option.

1poundatax · March 2021

I totally understaand. I have lost weight during the past year but ONLY because the day we went into lockdown I found out I was predaibetic. After promptly going home from the doctor and gaining a few more pounds I realized COVID wasn't going anywhere quickly and I needed to make a decision about my health. However in the years prior to that I gradually put on about 40 pounds out of 65 that I had lost a few years ago. How did I not see it happening? I can't answer that but I have totally changed my mindset. I know that I am not on a "diet", I need to make healthy choices for the rest of my life. I can eat what I want within reason, but I need to workout regularly and make good food choices most of the time.

jwcannon70 · March 2021

I am in the same boat as the op. For me with this pandemic, there was nothing to look forward to because everything was canceled. I had no reason to diet (I know there are reasons like health) for a goal like upcoming family gatherings or vacations. Plus, all the time sitting in the house with nothing to do and I ate. With hopefully a light at the end of the tunnel with this pandemic I realized I have a goal now. Just started back on Monday. I keep telling myself I did it once and I know what I have to do to do it again.

laceyf53 · March 2021

I've been yo-yoing for the past 15 years, 20 lbs in a few months, 60 lbs in a year, etc. My relationship with food is very dysfunctional, it is the enemy.

Only thing that have really worked are mindfulness and strict rules about what I can and cannot eat. I've journaled my successes and failures. I made rules like no fast food - But there are specific things from fast food restaurants I'm allowed to order in an emergency that are pre-defined. I spent a lot of time finding the places around me that do healthy meal prep/to-go meals, even my medical foundation makes them. I order and keep a supply of 12 of these meals in my freezer at all times to prevent eating out when I feel like it. I also have rules on what to do when craving dessert, I have a keto dessert of some kind, drink 20 ounces of water, and distract myself with a phone game. I also do not allow myself to eat food with refined sugar in my house, period. Even if it's a birthday party or something. I only allow myself to eat refined sugar/relax those rules on vacation outside of my house. It feels extreme to some, but for me I cannot rope in my sugar addiction once it triggers my binging cycle.

Overall, I think if we evaluate why we fail and put some failsafe methods in place to prevent that, we will succeed over the long run. Your routine was disrupted and your response to being locked in your house was completely reasonable. You'll lose it again, and this time it will be permanent. 😀

Poobah1972 · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

While what you say is always true about everything in life from the perspective of oneself looking out.... It is also true that each of us are directly shaped though our entanglement with Infinite time and space. Quite literally it takes the entire universe to make each of us as we are. So from the stand point of the infinite universe, I would think it would have something to say about the decisions we make. (think about it, I'm not as crazy as I sound.) :P

I like to keep both points of view in mind.

laurad1978 · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

The saying 'same storm, different boat' comes to mind. While the pandemic and working from home has given me the time to devote to exercise and planning meals I know I'm one of the lucky ones. For some their world has been turned upside down, from greif to illness. Even home schooling has been a huge challenge that has left families under enormous stress and with very little time. Any of these could have huge effect on both your mental and physical health.

cbihatt · March 2021

I think the mental aspects of weight management is something that does not receive enough attention. It can be difficult to get yourself into a head space that is conducive to weight loss. And once you are there, it can be hard to stay there. And this varies by person because we all have our own past experiences and the issues that go with them. It might even vary by attempt, which is why it seems to be easy sometimes and so difficult at other times. So, it’s not surprising to me at all that one person might find the pandemic to be the impetus they needed to lose weight and someone else may find that it contributed to a larger than expected weight gain.

My own derailment was preceded by minor surgery in Dec 2019. I am just now starting to make progress in the right direction after more than one false start. The best any of us can do is to strive for improvement, even if our progress is interrupted (sometimes for years at a time).

I wish you the best of luck in reaching your goals.

qhob_89 · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/4509219001

“Eating disorders thrive in isolation.” Halfway through the article it’s states this and goes a bit deeper into why many people struggled through the pandemic. Congratulations, you aren’t one of them!!

Also... person-in-environment perspective...
https://oxfordre.com/view/10.1093/acrefore/9780199975839.001.0001/acrefore-9780199975839-e-285

People are a product of their environment! For most people, that got pretty chaotic, stressful, and messy! Try not to be so judgmental... a lot of people have significantly struggled over the last year! From what I can tell, the OP has admitted to their actions that caused weight gain and is here to take action to improve their situation!

nks80 · March 2021

I too lost 130lbs in 2015 only to put it all back on plus an extra 14lbs for good measure! Currently working my way back down again (for the last time!!)

rheddmobile · March 2021

Oh my gosh, what a place to find yourself. I’ve done the same thing twice in the past, although for me it was 50 pounds. And I didn’t have the pandemic as an excuse, I just gradually let me husband convince me to eat more like he ate. My trick fhis time was to convince him to change his ways too! I know myself well enough to know I can’t resist temptation indefinitely so I reduced my sources of temptation.

At least you know you can do it. Best of luck to you.

rheddmobile · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

Some things are true but not useful. Like, “Your baby is ugly.” It may be true, but what is anyone supposed to do about it? It’s better left unsaid.

The OP knows that no one else stuffed food in his mouth. It’s also probably true that he wouldn’t have overeaten and underexercised without the pandemic. His actions were a response to what happened. A different response was possible, but he didn’t make it. He seems pretty aware of this, thus calling himself a clown. But the weight is there now, and no amount of unpleasantness can reverse time. So, “It’s your own fault,” is both true and not useful.

Speakeasy76 · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

Yeah, most logical people know this, but the pandemic sure made it a lot easier for A LOT of people to make choices and actions that lead to weight gain. I just heard on the news last night that the average weight gain for people during the pandemic was 2 pounds per month, so OP is definitely not alone. And just because I was one of the lucky few who actually manged to lose at that rate during a period of 6 months, doesn't mean I can't sympathize with others who followed the pandemic weight gain trend.

OP, a lot of us here on MFP are not new to the weight loss game and have gained and regained the same amount of weight. The good news is is that's there opportunity now to make it the LAST time you lose that weight.

penguinmama87 · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

rheddmobile wrote: »

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

Some things are true but not useful. Like, “Your baby is ugly.” It may be true, but what is anyone supposed to do about it? It’s better left unsaid.

The OP knows that no one else stuffed food in his mouth. It’s also probably true that he wouldn’t have overeaten and underexercised without the pandemic. His actions were a response to what happened. A different response was possible, but he didn’t make it. He seems pretty aware of this, thus calling himself a clown. But the weight is there now, and no amount of unpleasantness can reverse time. So, “It’s your own fault,” is both true and not useful.

I just believe in personal responsibility. We all make mistakes in various parts of our lives. We can't really correct them and improve if we don't identify the reason and take personal responsibly instead of blaming a scapegoat.

The OP came on here and called himself a clown. I think it was said in a joking manner, but that sounds like a person who knows he had a role to play in what happened.

I do think there are people who would rather bury their heads in the sand and not take responsibility. You are completely right about that. But this has an element of "kicking someone when they're down," and I don't think it's helpful. Acknowledging the difficulties of one's environment isn't the same thing as abdicating all responsibility. It's smart to know what obstacles you're working with, so you can overcome them. Pretending they're not there is a recipe for burnout.

psychod787 · March 2021

@Theoldguy1 Brother, I am going to have to give you my shirt that says, "Warning: Contents may hurt fee fee's!"
I think you are right in a way. People love to have an excuse for what they do. The "Pandemic", (I personally don't think we should have locked down healthy people in retrospect.) We all have personal choice. We tend justify our bad decisions with excuses. I'm guilty as anyone else. Yes, some people had their lives changed, but how we react to change is up to us. "kicking someone while they were down" maybe, maybe not. Some people do well with the hand holding approach. Others, such as myself, need to have boot applied to @$$ at times.
I personally think OP is trying to get their *kitten* together. God knows, even after nearly 5 years of this stuff, I am still getting mine together. So, I cast NO stones. Best of luck OP. I would love to hear how you are doing in the future.

rheddmobile · March 2021

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

rheddmobile wrote: »

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

Some things are true but not useful. Like, “Your baby is ugly.” It may be true, but what is anyone supposed to do about it? It’s better left unsaid.

The OP knows that no one else stuffed food in his mouth. It’s also probably true that he wouldn’t have overeaten and underexercised without the pandemic. His actions were a response to what happened. A different response was possible, but he didn’t make it. He seems pretty aware of this, thus calling himself a clown. But the weight is there now, and no amount of unpleasantness can reverse time. So, “It’s your own fault,” is both true and not useful.

I just believe in personal responsibility. We all make mistakes in various parts of our lives. We can't really correct them and improve if we don't identify the reason and take personal responsibly instead of blaming a scapegoat.

What worked for me long term was the opposite of this. It was much easier to change the elements of my surroundings to put fewer obstacles in my way than to change my own ability to deal with obstacles. In fact, gritting my teeth and trying to soldier on through sheer willpower failed every single time, while making my life more pleasant and losing weight easier has helped me maintain a normal BMI after a 125 lb weight loss for 3+ years now.

psychod787 · March 2021

rheddmobile wrote: »

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

rheddmobile wrote: »

Theoldguy1 wrote: »

Sorry but the pandemic didn't make anyone gain weight, it was the individual's actions.

As soon as people are willing to admit this the sooner real progress can be made.

Best of luck.

Some things are true but not useful. Like, “Your baby is ugly.” It may be true, but what is anyone supposed to do about it? It’s better left unsaid.

The OP knows that no one else stuffed food in his mouth. It’s also probably true that he wouldn’t have overeaten and underexercised without the pandemic. His actions were a response to what happened. A different response was possible, but he didn’t make it. He seems pretty aware of this, thus calling himself a clown. But the weight is there now, and no amount of unpleasantness can reverse time. So, “It’s your own fault,” is both true and not useful.

I just believe in personal responsibility. We all make mistakes in various parts of our lives. We can't really correct them and improve if we don't identify the reason and take personal responsibly instead of blaming a scapegoat.

What worked for me long term was the opposite of this. It was much easier to change the elements of my surroundings to put fewer obstacles in my way than to change my own ability to deal with obstacles. In fact, gritting my teeth and trying to soldier on through sheer willpower failed every single time, while making my life more pleasant and losing weight easier has helped me maintain a normal BMI after a 125 lb weight loss for 3+ years now.

This goes back to my statement. "Some people do well with having their hand held and others need a boot to the @$$." Some people are able to modify their lifestyle to lose weight and keep it off. Others, need a complete 180 with no looking back.

I am, apparently a clown. Lost 130lbs, and put every single pound back on in the last two years.

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