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WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2021

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  • Katla49Katla49 Member Posts: 8,221 Member Member Posts: 8,221 Member
    Sue: Your former friend seems worrisome & possibly a bit confused or worse. I hope you will be able to stay out of her way. (((hugs)))
  • GodMomKimGodMomKim Member Posts: 2,576 Member Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    Sue, I agree with everyone in the don't go to CO group, I would suggest a short carefully worded note that let her know you valued the friendship you had before, and if/when she turns her life around you would be willing to exchange emails. Something so if she does get sober she could look at and realize that you did not denounce her. The pain of someone stepping out of a friendship is harder for some than for others and it's impossible for the person stepping away to fully understand the impact. that said, it is critical to protect yourself.

    Kim in N. California
  • evie1958evie1958 Member Posts: 604 Member Member Posts: 604 Member
    Barbie, thanks for starting us off this month again!
    Sue, it seems a lot of people have already said what I was thinking, do NOT go to Colorado, use whatever excuse you need to (the pandemic is a great one! and totally legit!), definitely let her know that you are willing to talk (not get yelled at) and exchange emails, but that in person visits are not an option at this point.
    Rebecca, I'm sad for you that your son is so uncommunicative. I admit that both of mine are sporadic, but one of them is in town, so much easier to get hold of and the other one does reply to my texts, usually pretty quickly. Ironically, it's the local one who can take up to 24 hours to respond..... He's also the one with the small kids, dog, cat, a business that he's trying to get off the ground, so I'm willing to cut him a little slack....
    Pip, looks like you three had a great trip!
    Allie, sounds like all is going fairly well, sleeplessness aside....
    Heather, happy news about the upcoming cruise!

    I do have a schedule of sorts, I still work three days a week, but I do have four off, so a bit of time for scheduling..... Sundays I go walking with a friend in the morning and have started going to the Y after that for some strength training. When I get home, it's house cleaning time. The bedding gets changed, 3 of 4 bathrooms get cleaned (two get done every week, the other two alternate) and some laundry gets done. Oh and vacuuming. I have made up a schedule of extras that I strive to get done on Sundays also. Simple stuff, like wash the floors, which was this weeks chore. I have split it up between upstairs floors and downstairs floors, but I got lazy on upstairs floor week, so I did both levels this week. I started putting my clothes in the washer at the end of the day and have trained hubby to do the same. When it gets full, I run the load. Monday afternoons I get together with 3 friends, (outside and socially distanced, also no sharing of anything, we all provide our own beverage and snack). We work on craft projects and solve all the world problems. :) Tues and Wed afternoons are for any appointments or just to do any extras. Or work on craft stuff or just waste time in front of the tv or computer. Groceries usually get done Monday afternoon on my way home from my friends place.
    At the Y, we also wipe down all equipment, usually just after using, but some wipe down before too. When it first re-opened, we were told to wipe before and after. The Y has provided buckets that contain a spray bottle and originally paper towels, but they have now switched to a micro fiber cloth. You come in the door, grab your bucket, up the stairs to the fitness room. There is also another small space on the 3rd floor for stretching and floor exercises, limited equipment in there, but there is a mat and BOSU ball at each station that you are expected to wipe down after use. It doesn't take long at all, and even before the pandemic you were expected to wipe down your equipment after use. They had wipes then.
    Had to go into work this morning for a webinar (waste of time, but whatever....). Since it was happening right when I would have been at the gym, I decided to ride my bike there, it went great, although I thought I was going to get wet on the way home, the weather was definitely threatening. I did make it home dry, but it sure poured this afternoon! I suspect my legs are going to be a bit unhappy with me tomorrow even tho they got a good stretch when I got home. Oh well, it was still a good ride. The weather is supposed to be nice on Sat, so I may ride again then. I really want to ride two days a week this summer, such a good workout!
    That's enough for me, it's getting late and I really must hit the shower and get to bed. Work tomorrow!
    Hugs to those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
    Zwifting today! Indoor cycling. We could have probably cycled outside but it threatened rain all day and we kind of felt like staying home. This route (Richmond) is based on Richmond Virginia.

    gv0r1pes3peb.png


    Machka in Oz
  • kymaraikymarai Member, Premium Posts: 2,492 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,492 Member
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
    WooHoo!!!
    I just got 3 sides of my Rubik's cube!!
    Yellow, blue and white.

    I know ... very small accomplishment ... but I bought a Rubik's cube a little while ago because I remember the fun I had with them when I was a teen. And I have enjoyed working away at this one. :):)

    It's something I can do without using a computer.


    Machka in Oz
  • auntiebkauntiebk Member Posts: 1,534 Member Member Posts: 1,534 Member
    "Get to do"s and "chose well"s
    Chose well: tire swap, Dollar store, called Dr.’s office and emailed re lab costs not approved by medicare, Tumble to dog group
    Bonus: beach stroll with Joe and the dogs, half hour grooming Tumble, email re: fire hall keys and charge accounts, reconcile checking account.
    Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, bathe Tumble at Woof’s, dry Tumble at Carol’s, find locksmith to copy mailbox keiy, call D re: sticky keyboard, Norton and windows updates, call S, county planning office neighbor’s plans, ongoing: fire district: input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, call Credit union re: credit card, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; FM Cu, watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Do Your Thing, Pure Movies to Wine, Beer, Whiskey, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), A Little Less Broken, One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke, All Night, Nothing but You, Blame it on my beating heart, Homesick); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove. Reconcile Joe’s EOB’s Thrivent shows only 2263.48 so far, next BGBS ask Terry about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this spring’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers), 2nd week in April: call Wild Rivers (541 247 3514) for dog wash/nail trim appointments, bank to turn in pennies,
    Active April:
    7:Do a body-can meditation and notice how your body really feels: just before sleep... try again
    8: Get natural light early in day, dim lights in evening:

    Welcome @LHDC2021! Would you let us know what you’d like to be called and your general locale?
    Sue my heart goes out to you, and to your troubled, former friend. Listen to your gut and do NOT go to her. If it feels right, offer her what support you can in letters, but if not, you must set healthy boundaries. Allowing someone to scream at you for 3 hours is not giving them the gift of listening, it is exposing yourself to emotional harm. Sounds like she needs both professional and group help. Until she gets both, and recovers substantially, you must distance yourself. Threatening emails and posts can be blocked. I was estranged from my “wish he’d been my baby brother” for almost 30 years. We were able to reconnect on FB and phone the last years of his life, but I would NOT have allowed him to physically visit us. :cry: :brokenheart:
    Pip :love:
    KJ not just a raise, but a medal!

    Lovely long beach stroll with Joe this morning and a fair pack walk this afternoon left me so tired I forgot to eat my soup for dinner. Didn’t forget dessert of course…

    Lighter, lovelies!
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    April: leaner/stronger/kinder than March.
    daily: sit with Joe: 7, weigh/wii: 7/0/0; steps>5627=10937 :bigsmile: vits=6, log=7, CI<CO=6, CI<250<CO=6, Tumble=12, Shadow=9, mfp=7, outside=10 up hill=8
    wkly: BB&B,T’ai Chi or SWSY x3= rx=1 dance= clean 30 mins=2.67 packwalk=2, wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/4:140.3 :grin: 4/11: 4/18: 4/25:
    mnthly: board mtg=, grant=1, 21 plan= bonus: AF=4 play= sew= waist=
    2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
  • LisaInArkansasLisaInArkansas Member Posts: 205 Member Member Posts: 205 Member
    I love the fact that one question here can easily generate a dozen helpful posts! Heck, you don't even have to post a question, just a worry (sorry, SueBDew, if I went on too much on my response to your post - it struck a chord with me, as you could probably tell). I really appreciated everyone's description of their own schedules--thank you so much, and I might yet incorporate some of your hints.

    What I probably should have said, though, is that I'm going through paroxysms of guilt as I step into what will be my second year of retirement on June 1. My best friend is the one who suggested I get on a schedule, and it's pretty typical of her to tell me to get organized and get on a schedule and that will solve everything. The woman wipes any crumbs off of her butter with paper towels because to her it looks messy. Love her dearly - and still occasionally send her a picture of my butter dish, crumbs and all, just to poke her.

    :smiley:

    I'm just feeling guilty as sin for not working to make money - and can't seem to shake it. It's not making me go back to looking for paid work, I might add! But I do feel guilty--and was wondering if a schedule might actually help allay some of the guilt. Then again, it might just add to the guilt, as I would be ignoring it before long, but might be worth starting one to see what happens.

    Conundrums... they just jump all up on me.

    Later, y'all,
    Love,
    Lisa in AR
  • barbiecatbarbiecat Member Posts: 14,733 Member Member Posts: 14,733 Member
    :)Lisa, I love having a schedule because it saves me from excess "decision fatigue". I just know what I'm going to do next. On the subject of feeling guilty about not earning money, my mother told me that when she became a stay at home mom after having a paying job, it helped her to focus on money saving behaviours so she felt that she was adding to the family financial well being..

    :)Pip, I love all your pictures. They remind me of the wonderful years we spent vacationing in our RV.

    :) Barbie in NW WA
  • Peach1948Peach1948 Member Posts: 2,148 Member Member Posts: 2,148 Member
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
    I'm just feeling guilty as sin for not working to make money - and can't seem to shake it. It's not making me go back to looking for paid work, I might add! But I do feel guilty--and was wondering if a schedule might actually help allay some of the guilt. Then again, it might just add to the guilt, as I would be ignoring it before long, but might be worth starting one to see what happens.

    Conundrums... they just jump all up on me.

    Later, y'all,
    Love,
    Lisa in AR

    I'm told it takes time.

    I'm going through something sort of similar now that I've finished my degree. Even though I have been finished classes since October 2020, and I've officially graduated in December 2020, I still come home after work and think ... "I should be working on my next assignment." I still dream I'm in university. I still wake up in a panic in the night thinking I've got an assignment due. I sit down to process photos or play with my Rubik's cube and am suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling that I have to do some homework.

    Just a few nights ago, I dreamed that I had finished university, but that for some reason, I still had 2 post-university courses to complete to really be finished. The dream was so real I woke up feeling all upset that no one had told me about these courses before and upset that I wasn't actually finished.

    It took several months, but I've finally stopped going into my university account. And I'm gradually trying to remove my university folders from my email accounts and from my Windows folders ... archive them onto a backup harddrive so that I don't have to look at them.

    But then, I find myself sitting here wondering what to do next and not being able to relax because, if I am finished university, I know there are things I wanted to do while I was in uni. That's where my list comes in. I've transferred 'doing assignments' to 'doing my list'.

    And meanwhile, I am trying to incorporate some relaxing activities into my week as I try to convince myself that I don't have a deadline for most of the things on my list and I really can allow myself some time to relax.


    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    pqsti7nxxa1o.png

    Machka9 wrote: »
    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Machka- Every time you post your map of where you have ridden; I am reminded of the second to last episode of Sherlock, when he tells off his brother (who is tracking him) in a walk. lol What would you spell out on a ride, if you could?
    KJ (Kelly)

    Unfortunately we don't have a lot of grid system roads here so it is difficult to "write" or "draw" things when I ride. But I have thought of trying to "draw" animals. :)

    Kind of almost like a scorpion! :smiley:


    M in Oz

    From our ride yesterday ...

    Richmond is a historic town in Tasmania. The bridge, in the photo below, is the oldest stone span bridge in Australia and was convict-built. Construction started in 1823 and it was opened in 1825.

    Our first stop was at the Richmond Bakery where we had a little snack and listened to a man playing a harp. Lovely. :)

    Then we cycled up and down streets and surrounding roads, exploring.

    It was the first time we've been there in a while.


    t2bd0z6zha3s.png

    fa5sn8wpbg70.png


    M in Oz
  • pipcd34pipcd34 Member Posts: 12,227 Member Member Posts: 12,227 Member
  • LisaInArkansasLisaInArkansas Member Posts: 205 Member Member Posts: 205 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    I'm just feeling guilty as sin for not working to make money - and can't seem to shake it. It's not making me go back to looking for paid work, I might add! But I do feel guilty--and was wondering if a schedule might actually help allay some of the guilt. Then again, it might just add to the guilt, as I would be ignoring it before long, but might be worth starting one to see what happens.

    Conundrums... they just jump all up on me.

    Later, y'all,
    Love,
    Lisa in AR

    I'm told it takes time.

    I'm going through something sort of similar now that I've finished my degree. Even though I have been finished classes since October 2020, and I've officially graduated in December 2020, I still come home after work and think ... "I should be working on my next assignment." I still dream I'm in university. I still wake up in a panic in the night thinking I've got an assignment due. I sit down to process photos or play with my Rubik's cube and am suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling that I have to do some homework.

    Just a few nights ago, I dreamed that I had finished university, but that for some reason, I still had 2 post-university courses to complete to really be finished. The dream was so real I woke up feeling all upset that no one had told me about these courses before and upset that I wasn't actually finished.

    It took several months, but I've finally stopped going into my university account. And I'm gradually trying to remove my university folders from my email accounts and from my Windows folders ... archive them onto a backup harddrive so that I don't have to look at them.

    But then, I find myself sitting here wondering what to do next and not being able to relax because, if I am finished university, I know there are things I wanted to do while I was in uni. That's where my list comes in. I've transferred 'doing assignments' to 'doing my list'.

    And meanwhile, I am trying to incorporate some relaxing activities into my week as I try to convince myself that I don't have a deadline for most of the things on my list and I really can allow myself some time to relax.


    Machka in Oz

    Thank you, Machka - yes, that's a great description of my issues, too... During my recent bouts with insomnia, I get so frantic because I feel like I HAVE to fall asleep, as I have to be rested and ready for the next day, so I'm at the top of my game. What game? I'm slowly getting rid of work-oriented things, like the orientation handbook, etc., too. Each one feels like a tiny little weight--but it all feels like that odd feeling you get when it's dark, and you try to step up on a step that isn't there, or step down and there is no step down. Off balance.
  • Machka9Machka9 Member Posts: 18,849 Member Member Posts: 18,849 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    I'm just feeling guilty as sin for not working to make money - and can't seem to shake it. It's not making me go back to looking for paid work, I might add! But I do feel guilty--and was wondering if a schedule might actually help allay some of the guilt. Then again, it might just add to the guilt, as I would be ignoring it before long, but might be worth starting one to see what happens.

    Conundrums... they just jump all up on me.

    Later, y'all,
    Love,
    Lisa in AR

    I'm told it takes time.

    I'm going through something sort of similar now that I've finished my degree. Even though I have been finished classes since October 2020, and I've officially graduated in December 2020, I still come home after work and think ... "I should be working on my next assignment." I still dream I'm in university. I still wake up in a panic in the night thinking I've got an assignment due. I sit down to process photos or play with my Rubik's cube and am suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling that I have to do some homework.

    Just a few nights ago, I dreamed that I had finished university, but that for some reason, I still had 2 post-university courses to complete to really be finished. The dream was so real I woke up feeling all upset that no one had told me about these courses before and upset that I wasn't actually finished.

    It took several months, but I've finally stopped going into my university account. And I'm gradually trying to remove my university folders from my email accounts and from my Windows folders ... archive them onto a backup harddrive so that I don't have to look at them.

    But then, I find myself sitting here wondering what to do next and not being able to relax because, if I am finished university, I know there are things I wanted to do while I was in uni. That's where my list comes in. I've transferred 'doing assignments' to 'doing my list'.

    And meanwhile, I am trying to incorporate some relaxing activities into my week as I try to convince myself that I don't have a deadline for most of the things on my list and I really can allow myself some time to relax.


    Machka in Oz

    Thank you, Machka - yes, that's a great description of my issues, too... During my recent bouts with insomnia, I get so frantic because I feel like I HAVE to fall asleep, as I have to be rested and ready for the next day, so I'm at the top of my game. What game? I'm slowly getting rid of work-oriented things, like the orientation handbook, etc., too. Each one feels like a tiny little weight--but it all feels like that odd feeling you get when it's dark, and you try to step up on a step that isn't there, or step down and there is no step down. Off balance.

    Yes ... off balance!

    While taking the uni courses, I almost always stayed up till 1 am or later working on assignments or housework. Now, I often feel like I have to stay up late to work on ... something. But I find myself sitting here at 12:15 am wondering what it is I'm supposed to be doing ... just sitting here feeling a bit off balance.

    I have to keep reminding myself that I can go to bed. It's OK to rest ... even if it is just lying there and reading a book. I'm not going to miss a deadline if I rest and I'll probably feel better!

    Same with exercise. I've found myself panicking in the middle of a ride because I should be home working on ... something. And I have to talk to myself and calm myself down. I don't need to be home. I can ride my bicycle in peace.

    It's weird.
  • csofledcsofled Member Posts: 2,804 Member Member Posts: 2,804 Member
    💛😊🖐️
  • cityjaneLondoncityjaneLondon Member Posts: 8,810 Member Member Posts: 8,810 Member
    Lisa - What happened to that writing work you were doing? Just curious.

    My day is led by routine. I get up and get DH a cup of tea in bed around 7 am. We sit and chat over the tea . Lots to talk about, always. Then he gets up and makes delicious breakfast of fresh fruit salad over homemade muesli.
    Next is exercise. Machines, (we have three) followed by mat work, and weights. That takes nearly two hours.
    After that, starting some time between 10.30 and 11, is writing time when I do my memoir.
    Then I prepare a light lunch.
    So, mornings are more or less sacrosanct and I try not to let anything interrupt them, apart from the exception of seeing the grandchildren. People know not to phone in the morning.
    Afternoons are a bit of a looser arrangement, but most days I get some bonus exercise in after lunch, running, walking, rowing etc. Up to one hour. Daily total, 900+ calories.
    Thursday is singing.
    The rest of the afternoon is time for languages, foreign videos, cooking dinner, phoning friends, Zoom,.
    admin etc. Afternoon snack at 3 pm.
    At 5.15 I sit down with DH for the quiz show, Pointless. Aperitif time, alcohol, or AF. I serve dinner soon after 6 pm. Dessert 7.30+. Cheese or chocolate 8.00+.
    Evenings are tv, or dancing and French Circle, when it resumes.

    I don't clean as I have a cleaner once a fortnight. I do laundry when I've got spare drying space in the utility room. DH does the washing up, keeps the kitchen tidy and empties the trash. He prepares a fruit dessert.

    I don't garden. I have a window cleaner.

    I've loved lockdown because it's enabled me to keep to my routine without guilt and temptation. No one wants me to visit, or entertain. I love my mornings. I feel I am in charge of my life and it has a purpose.

    Even on the cruises I keep to a different, but strict routine, still up at 7. I take 800 calories exercise, including swimming and dancing, walking, running around the deck.

    Singing Zoom was great today. Friends Zoom was postponed from yesterday until today and we are also expecting Waitrose delivery. Dinner is allready prepared in the IP. Lamb, spinach and pea curry.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    edited April 8
  • Katla49Katla49 Member Posts: 8,221 Member Member Posts: 8,221 Member
    I spent hours watching a trial yesterday and will probably do so again today. This is in Minnesota & about wrong actions of a police officer.
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