Anyone else not quite sure how much they want to lose?
ladyoftherocks
Posts: 64 Member
So the last weight that I know for sure I was before gaining weight was 135, but that was 5 years ago. I'm not sure if that weight is practical for me to keep up at 30. Anyone else have trouble figuring it out?
Do you set your goal in MFP to your ultimate goal right away, or do you do smaller goals first and then change it?
In order to be a healthy weight I need to lose 21 pounds, to get to 135 I would need to lose an additional 20. I definitely want to lose more than the bare minimum so I'm not overweight again from just a mess up or two but I'm wondering if I'm setting my expectations too high with 135?
Thoughts?
Do you set your goal in MFP to your ultimate goal right away, or do you do smaller goals first and then change it?
In order to be a healthy weight I need to lose 21 pounds, to get to 135 I would need to lose an additional 20. I definitely want to lose more than the bare minimum so I'm not overweight again from just a mess up or two but I'm wondering if I'm setting my expectations too high with 135?
Thoughts?
4
Replies
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When I was 18 I weighed 140. When I was 30, I weighed 150 summer to 160 winter. I’m 71. I’m aiming for 170, but I’d be happy with 180(175 for BMI 25).
When I was 18, I wanted to be slender. I kept my hair and clothes neat and pretty. I chased boys!
When I was 30, I wanted my husband to be proud of me. I wanted my kids to think I was pretty.
Now, I just want to be able to move freely, fit into my clothes, not have any huge lumps on my body sticking out of my clothes.
Priorities change.
I didn’t use the MFP set up. I refuse to diet as aggressively as I once did. I cant exercise like I once did. I figured out what my tdee might be and how much I thought I might be happy eating, I set my calorie goal accordingly. Not sure, but I think it may be close to 2.5 pounds/mo. I know that sounds like a snails pace to a 30-yr old. It should! But it works for me.14 -
I've never been below 169 as an adult and I was still fat at that weight, so I'm kind of playing it by ear. I'm pretty confident I can lose about a pound per week (and have been doing so thus far), so if I do that for two years, that will get me to a "normal" BMI at least (for whatever BMI is worth, which tbh isn't much). I think when I get to that point I'm going to be more concerned about body composition than just the number on the scale - I come from quite a stocky people, so I know I'll never be the 98-lb waif that all the calculators and weight-loss blogs really, really want my 5'2" *kitten* to be, so I'm going to lean into my dwarven shieldmaiden nature and get RIPPED AS HELL instead (or as ripped as hell as a 30-something cis woman can get without chemical enhancement - no disrespect, just not what I'm after).7
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With all respect, you may be overthinking it. Set a realistic goal that is not too low. If you get there, you can always change it. I started years ago at 180. I got to 150 and thought that was as low as my body would allow me to go (I'm currently 48 years old and 5'4"). Then I just kept losing, and got to 130, and that seemed like the perfect goal for me. I maintained there for a while. Then after Covid I got down to 120, and now I really try to maintain at 120-125, with 130 being my "scream weight." But if you told me this a few years back I would have thought you were crazy. Pick a healthy goal that is not too aspirational and then try it out for a while. You want a goal that is MAINTAINABLE, not just a goal that is achievable. But it's going to take trial and error.18
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I don't have a clue.
I just - as in this week - dropped into a normal BMI. Before that I was obese for... half my life? A little more I think. I'm going to continue at my small deficit through the rest of this month and possibly May, then just hit pause on loss and practice maintaining that and enjoy an active summer. I'll reassess after that.9 -
I am aiming to healthy BMI, then I will reevaluate10
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Goal weight has no impact on the process (calorie goal is the same), except for being the point where you'd stop eating at a deficit. No need to make a decision now, and certainly no need to agonize over it. I'm with @ChickenKillerPuppy on this.
My story: At 59, I committed to lose weight. I'd been class 1 obese for around 30 years at that point. In my 20s, I'd been happy at a weight in low/mid 120s. But "everyone says" we should be a little heavier when older, so my first provisional goal (IIRC) was 135. As I got close, it was obvious that was not right, so I lowered it. 130 was also not right. At that point, I gave it a hard think: How would I need to feel, how would my body need to be, for me to say "I'm at goal weight"? Then I just slowed down weight loss to a slow pace, and watched for those things. I literally woke up one morning and said "this is it". (IIRC, I was at 122 then. 5+ years later, with some mild ups and downs all in the healthy (normal BMI) range, I'm at 124-point-something as of this morning.) So much for "everyone says"! 😆
No need to agonize over it. If you want a vague target, set a vague target. If it makes more sense (for your personality type) to take the "10 pound loss than re-evaluate" approach do that. Unless you have a seriously distorted body image, you'll do fine. If you're worried about distorted image, check in with your doctor (not your friends or your mom, who probably are lovely people who really care about you, but actual human moms and friends are terrible guides for this sort of thing, unfortunately).
No matter how you set your goal weight in MFP, none of the "how to get there" changes, as long as that weight is below your current weight.6 -
I'm 6' 175. I want to get down to 170 or so. But at this point, the number on the scale is less of the goal and body fat percentage is the real goal (better body composition) and weight (fat) loss is simply part of the path to get there.4
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I feel ya about not knowing what weight I want to be! I’m still playing around with it after three years! I am not at “healthy” BMI but my doc said I was fine 10 lbs heavier than I am now. I’ve been in that sacred “healthy” BMI range (near the upper end LOL!) but I feel weak there. Now I’m about five lbs over.
I do plan to and have started to slowly lose- I want to run a marathon in November so i think 10 lbs down will help that. In the months before if I lose a little strength that’s ok.
At 60 I weigh approx what I weighed at 20 so don’t let age be a factor.
As others mentioned- pick a goal that’s not so aggressive and see how you feel once there. The numbers are not carved in stone. In fact, I went from weighing everyday to now about once a month.2 -
It’s okay to set interim goals and refine them as you learn more about yourself. My goal at first was not to be obese, then not to be overweight (164), then it was the same as yours, to have enough wiggle room not to be overweight even after a big meal and workout wearing clothes. I wanted to see that normal BMI on the doctor’s scale! 150 was about right for me.
I considered getting down to 137 which is theoretically “ideal” weight, more or less in the middle of normal. I would be a faster runner and look better at 137, but after a couple of years of playing around with my weight, I figured out that I have to work harder than I feel like working to keep my weight under 147. So now my maintenance range is 147 - 153.6 -
I've had different goal weights at different points in my life. When I successfully lost some weight as an adult before getting married (pretty much through more concentrated exercise efforts) I was perfectly okay being at the higher end of BMI for my height. I exercised and for the most part ate pretty well, and had no health problems. The same held true when I set out to lose all the baby weight from BOTH of my babies back in 2012. I generally maintained that range, and when I went up a bit too high, I refocused my efforts. I even got a little bit lower.
When COVID hit, I decided to "challenge" myself to get to what I thought was my "ultimate" goal weight at my age (143 at 5'8 and 44). I'm not a tiny person, and don't necessarily want to just be "skinny," but rather fit and strong. I hit that weight in September. A few months ago, I decided to see if I could get down to 138. Mind you, I"m doing this slowly and in a way where I don't feel deprived--it's just my life. I'm currently at 139, but I think a lot of that is because I've been on an elimination diet for food sensitivities, and it may just be water weight. I don't think I'll want to get lower than that, because like I said, I want to be fit and even gain a bit more muscle. At any rate, I'm now about at the weight I was back in my senior year of college....before I became obsessed with my weight/food again, and ended up gaining quite a bit in grad school.3 -
Sounds to me like you want to lose 21 pounds. You can reevaluate and set new goals once you have achieved that.
I have much more to lose than you (OK, I guess at this point, I have a bit more to lose than you), but I find it enough to just focus on the habits and keep going.3 -
I'm also on the bandwagon of reevaluating along the way.
I started off at a BMI of 34 - 208lbs, so I set my goal at a BMI of 25 - 152 lbs. After I reached that goal, I wasn't happy yet with how I looked and I also wanted a bit of margin to stay out of the overweight range.
I currently weigh 148 and my current goal is 143 lbs which I'm inching down to. I'm not sure I'll stop there.
I started gaining weight a bit at uni and then gradually more from there on out, and I think I was at 136 before things 'went wrong' but I also know my memories of my own body then are skewed (I felt fat, but I doubt I actually was), but I was less active then as well, exercising a lot less. So I'm hesitant to use that number as a goal. Also, having been obese, I'm worried about loose skin, I already have some saggy areas, but perhaps they'll look better when there's less fat dragging them down.
So yeah, I'm inching downwards at the moment and also doing strength training to build some muscle, and I'll see where I end up!2 -
In high school I was around 120-130 and you could see hipbones (with a little chub over but still)
My aim is a strong 145-155 but really I plan on slowing down when I get to a weight that I feel confident at. Last time I remember getting to 165-170 I felt good but knew I still wanted to lose more.
I am working more on how I feel verses what the number says2 -
When I was at college I weighed in the 135-140 range but that wouldn’t feel healthy or sustainable now in my late 40s. I managed to get to 150 lbs (from 170) about 4 years ago and felt great - it has crept back on gradually (mainly through the last year with lockdowns and lack of motivation) but that is my current target as I know I will feel good there. Each 10 lb marker is a mini target though.2
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I'm also in the re-evaluate as you go camp. To be fair, I was never really doing this for a number, it was about improving sporting performance and as I've trained better and fuelled better I've hit numbers I'd have written off as unrealistic and blown straight past them.
For context, in 2004 I weighed 260lb. I got down to 148 but felt that was too light and maintained in the 160s for some time. That's just about the top of my healthy bmi. Over the years I drifted up to about 190 before kicking myself into gear again. Based on my past experience I was expecting to end up at about 160.
I now weigh 134lb and my BMI is 20. I'd never have set that goal at the start.3 -
I'm 5;6". I weighed 120 when in high school and college (when I wasn't 140; I did a lot of yoyo dieting). At age 64 I now weigh 121. I am a lot more active than I was when I was young, so it works for me.
When I was losing weight, I aimed at 135, which was the weight I had reached off and on at my dieting low points and felt was comfortable. It is in the high-middle range of healthy weights for my size. Then I started running and dropped to 131, so I decided to start maintaining here on MFP. It turns out that my metabolism is a bit faster than the average, so I continued to drop weight. I eventually stabilized at 121-124. I've comfortably maintained that loss for several years since I continued to run about an hour a day, most days.1 -
spiriteagle99 wrote: »I'm 5;6". I weighed 120 when in high school and college (when I wasn't 140; I did a lot of yoyo dieting). At age 64 I now weigh 121. I am a lot more active than I was when I was young, so it works for me.
When I was losing weight, I aimed at 135, which was the weight I had reached off and on at my dieting low points and felt was comfortable. It is in the high-middle range of healthy weights for my size. Then I started running and dropped to 131, so I decided to start maintaining here on MFP. It turns out that my metabolism is a bit faster than the average, so I continued to drop weight. I eventually stabilized at 121-124. I've comfortably maintained that loss for several years since I continued to run about an hour a day, most days.
I'm the same height and also aiming at 135, though I'm not there yet! I might want to lose more than that, though I doubt it based on my frame size. I have a few pictures from when I was in the low 120s and I look rather frail. Then again, my thinking might be distorted because I'm used to looking at myself at a larger size! I also didn't exercise deliberately when I was that weight, so being that weight with some muscle definition might look a lot healthier. I'm not sure - I'm comfortable not having it all figured out yet. It'll be nice to get close and figure out what I want then!
One thing I want to nitpick at just a little from the OP, is the idea that as you get older you have to settle for a higher weight. I think it's common in our society to think that weight gain is inevitable as you age, but I think that's more a function of being more sedentary. At 30, you likely have more responsibilities you need to work around, which can make activity more difficult, but 30 is still very, very young (I'm 34 and I recently realized that 40 is also really young! As I hit my mid-40s I expect to feel the same way about 50!) I'm a mom of five and due to the nature of my station in life most of my real life friends are also moms, and while there are definitely physical considerations to take into account when you're having babies and recovering from having babies, the way some of us talk, you'd think we were in our 90s. There's a part of me that instinctively rebels against that notion.
I'm not saying that things aren't going to be different than they were at 20. I think many of us "grow up and then out." For men this might even be more of a thing - my husband shot up to 6'3" over his teens, then filled out in his early 20s. But even with me that was the case, to some extent. In my case, I started having babies and so it's kind of hard to tell what "normal" is because I haven't really spent much time there. I put on weight that hung around after each baby, and was rapidly reorganizing my priorities, etc. I think the same can happen with taking into account a steady job, maintaining a home, etc. I think you should find a weight that makes you happy, and adjust as needed, but I don't think it's inevitable that it will be higher at an older age.2 -
I’m slightly surprised at how many people seem to feel it’s unrealistic to be the weight they were when younger (assuming that was a healthy weight). I’m not sure why something as arbitrary as age would change the healthy weight to height ratio.
8st 3lbs was my happy weight in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s - I’m now 59 and fairly sure that when I reach that this time (3lbs to go!) I’ll actually feel that ‘older me’ could go a bit lower.
I’m no taller, I haven’t grown any extra body parts (in actual fact, I’ve lost a few 😂 - some lymph nodes, an appendix, a uterus, ovaries and cervix, plus about half a cm off the tip of a collarbone - I’m guessing that’s about 4lb all told!).
I guess I just don’t see why a healthy weight should change no matter your age.3 -
BarbaraHelen2013 wrote: »I’m slightly surprised at how many people seem to feel it’s unrealistic to be the weight they were when younger (assuming that was a healthy weight). I’m not sure why something as arbitrary as age would change the healthy weight to height ratio.
8st 3lbs was my happy weight in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s - I’m now 59 and fairly sure that when I reach that this time (3lbs to go!) I’ll actually feel that ‘older me’ could go a bit lower.
I’m no taller, I haven’t grown any extra body parts (in actual fact, I’ve lost a few 😂 - some lymph nodes, an appendix, a uterus, ovaries and cervix, plus about half a cm off the tip of a collarbone - I’m guessing that’s about 4lb all told!).
I guess I just don’t see why a healthy weight should change no matter your age.
I mean for me it's that when I was in college I was barely a c cup and could wear a b pretty comfortably. I'm now, and have been since pregnancy and nursing, a solid double d. I expect some breast shrinkage if I go low enough but i doubt i'm going back to that.
Also honestly even with joining a gym and intentional sports related exercise I am WAY less active now than when I was 20. I work a desk job, not as a waitress, and I no longer have to run after little kids as I did when my kids were, well, little.3 -
Thanks to everyone for their advice.
@BarbaraHelen2013 I understand that to an extend but despite me seeing a lot of people say metabolism isn't really a thing I'm otherwise stumped that when I was in my early 20s I could drink frappucinos every day and still be underweight lol. But I also feel like it has to do with my priorities changing. Like if the only way I can stay 135 is to give up a lot of my foodie experiences and fun nights drinking with friends I'd rather my weight be a little higher. I think it would be easier if I was a more "settled down" person but me and my husband are still very much not lol.
@penguinmama87 We sound like body twins. I also look at photos from when I was around 120 and think I look way too thin. My frame isn't really delicate. I was still a juniors 5 or a misses 6 at my lowest weights. I have prominent hips lol.
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