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Demi Lovato's Twitter about an LA fro-yo shop: eating disorder recovery or sense of entitlement?
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I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.9 -
I love Demi Lovato and have so much empathy for her since I’ve also struggled with eating disorders from a young age. I can understand her having such a strong reaction, in the early stages of my own recovery I was extremely selfish and my concern was completely self-centered, but it really is our own responsibility to either avoid our triggers (and if we can’t, find another way to deal with them). I don’t think Demi is truly entitled (she could be somewhat, don’t know her), but I think recovering from eating disorders AND severe trauma and substance abuse, combined with being a highly visible celebrity in a culture that rewards calling out people, businesses, etc for the most minor perceived slights just created the perfect bad situation. Thankfully the shop seems to be doing well anyhow, and hopefully it doesn’t derail Demi’s recovery. On a side note, if I really wanted to avoid diet culture I’d probably go to a traditional ice cream shop and not a Frozen Yogurt place.6
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What grinds my gears most about the whole thing is that we are still in the middle of a pandemic and most restaurants have struggled to even keep their doors open in the last year. And instead of focusing on her own recovery (which, spoiler alert, "California Sober" is not recovery"), she tries to cancel a business because she's "triggered".
She could have used her platform in this situation for something positive. She could have connected with the shop privately. But instead, she uses this to draw attention to herself, even if it's negative.8 -
MarieBuch10 wrote: »I love Demi Lovato and have so much empathy for her since I’ve also struggled with eating disorders from a young age. I can understand her having such a strong reaction, in the early stages of my own recovery I was extremely selfish and my concern was completely self-centered, but it really is our own responsibility to either avoid our triggers (and if we can’t, find another way to deal with them). I don’t think Demi is truly entitled (she could be somewhat, don’t know her), but I think recovering from eating disorders AND severe trauma and substance abuse, combined with being a highly visible celebrity in a culture that rewards calling out people, businesses, etc for the most minor perceived slights just created the perfect bad situation. Thankfully the shop seems to be doing well anyhow, and hopefully it doesn’t derail Demi’s recovery. On a side note, if I really wanted to avoid diet culture I’d probably go to a traditional ice cream shop and not a Frozen Yogurt place.
Thank you for this perspective. This is kind of what I was wondering. I actually think she's quite talented and really feel for all she's been through. I think she thought she was coming from a "good place" in trying to educate others about eating disorders and how diet culture, in general, can be damaging...or at least that's what she told herself (and others).3 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.
Uhhhh okay...2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.
Uhhhh okay...
I'm curious about what part of my post provoked this reaction. Do you genuinely see her as a mere "defective product"?
My point is that when people are hurting (which she pretty clearly seems to be), it can result in lashing out at the wrong people or making mistakes in reasoning or judgment. This doesn't mean we can't respond to those things, but writing her off as a "defective product" seems so harsh and maybe part of the reason why child stars seem to so often struggle as they age.
My approach is probably tempered by the fact that I have a younger sibling who has struggled with opioid addiction (thankfully now in recovery). When I look at people like Demi Lovato, I can't help but see the hurting human there.8 -
janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.
Uhhhh okay...
I'm curious about what part of my post provoked this reaction. Do you genuinely see her as a mere "defective product"?
My point is that when people are hurting (which she pretty clearly seems to be), it can result in lashing out at the wrong people or making mistakes in reasoning or judgment. This doesn't mean we can't respond to those things, but writing her off as a "defective product" seems so harsh and maybe part of the reason why child stars seem to so often struggle as they age.
My approach is probably tempered by the fact that I have a younger sibling who has struggled with opioid addiction (thankfully now in recovery). When I look at people like Demi Lovato, I can't help but see the hurting human there.
For her sake, I hope she leans into whatever support system she has in place before that hurt leads her down the path to relapsing back on the hardcore stuff. I'd argue that this lashing out means she should look into absolute sobriety vs. "California Sober", but each addict's recovery and journey is their own.3 -
janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.
Uhhhh okay...
I'm curious about what part of my post provoked this reaction. Do you genuinely see her as a mere "defective product"?
My point is that when people are hurting (which she pretty clearly seems to be), it can result in lashing out at the wrong people or making mistakes in reasoning or judgment. This doesn't mean we can't respond to those things, but writing her off as a "defective product" seems so harsh and maybe part of the reason why child stars seem to so often struggle as they age.
My approach is probably tempered by the fact that I have a younger sibling who has struggled with opioid addiction (thankfully now in recovery). When I look at people like Demi Lovato, I can't help but see the hurting human there.
I think many of Demi’s struggles have come from that alone... she’s always been treated as a product. She had a team that started treating her like a defective product as she was coming into adulthood- they restricted her food to the point of not even letting her have a birthday cake.
I truly empathize with her journey and struggles, however I don’t support her Twitter woke police rant, whatever you want to call it. I’ve followed her story off and on for years and as of recent she’s been shouting from the mountain tops (new docuseries included) how well she’s doing and how her recovery is going awesome. To me, this Twitter rant is a huge red flag (that I hope others around her see) that she isn’t doing as well in her recovery as she’s touting. If you walk into froyo shop and your ED is triggered, you should take that as a sign you should put some energy into your recovery instead of using that energy to take on a small business over Twitter. I thought it was great that this froyo shop tried to be inclusive of those who don’t get the option of being triggered. Those who are diabetic don’t get the option to walk into bakeries, ice cream/froyo joints and then hop on Twitter to claim they were triggered by there being no options for them. It seemed like she painted this as “diet culture” because it fit her message about ED, when in reality it came off entitled, like the diabetics should go through the backdoor because their sugar free options offend me. I feel it is each individual’s responsibility to manage their own triggers (ie recovery) as society isn’t going to cater to each individual’s needs. If someone is in recovery from alcohol use, they don’t walk into a bar and have a Twitter fit about being triggered because they were just there for the fries but there was all sorts of alcohol served. If she isn’t in a place in her recovery to go into a froyo shop without feeling triggered, then she shouldn’t have gone in the first place.11 -
Social media has a way of making you feel heard and like you are connecting with people when you really aren’t. In a void, her comments seem silly. In the context provided, the comments can evoke empathy. I’ve had two incidents when I drank too much and posted stuff on Facebook I was embarrassed about. Both were when I was in deep grief, right after my mother and my brother died (about five months apart). I posted stupid stuff about how I had failed both of them and how I didn’t deserve to go on living when they had died. Maybe she was in a place where she needed to be heard.6
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ENTITLED. Im recovering from an ED and I dont expect the world to revolve around me. LIke the above poster stated, its my responsibility and mine alone. When you are nourished from a spiritual level, fro yo is not such a trigger. At least for me, and that's my goal - good physical and spiritual health7
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janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I agree that it's a sense of entitlement. Hollywood produced a defective product and Demi Lovato was proud to prove it with her public display of stupidity! Anything for a snippet of attention!
The idea that she's merely a "product" is probably part of the reason she developed emotional issues. Even if she's totally and completely wrong (I'd argue she is), she's still human, not a messed up product.
Uhhhh okay...
I'm curious about what part of my post provoked this reaction. Do you genuinely see her as a mere "defective product"?
My point is that when people are hurting (which she pretty clearly seems to be), it can result in lashing out at the wrong people or making mistakes in reasoning or judgment. This doesn't mean we can't respond to those things, but writing her off as a "defective product" seems so harsh and maybe part of the reason why child stars seem to so often struggle as they age.
My approach is probably tempered by the fact that I have a younger sibling who has struggled with opioid addiction (thankfully now in recovery). When I look at people like Demi Lovato, I can't help but see the hurting human there.
I think many of Demi’s struggles have come from that alone... she’s always been treated as a product. She had a team that started treating her like a defective product as she was coming into adulthood- they restricted her food to the point of not even letting her have a birthday cake.
I truly empathize with her journey and struggles, however I don’t support her Twitter woke police rant, whatever you want to call it. I’ve followed her story off and on for years and as of recent she’s been shouting from the mountain tops (new docuseries included) how well she’s doing and how her recovery is going awesome. To me, this Twitter rant is a huge red flag (that I hope others around her see) that she isn’t doing as well in her recovery as she’s touting. If you walk into froyo shop and your ED is triggered, you should take that as a sign you should put some energy into your recovery instead of using that energy to take on a small business over Twitter. I thought it was great that this froyo shop tried to be inclusive of those who don’t get the option of being triggered. Those who are diabetic don’t get the option to walk into bakeries, ice cream/froyo joints and then hop on Twitter to claim they were triggered by there being no options for them. It seemed like she painted this as “diet culture” because it fit her message about ED, when in reality it came off entitled, like the diabetics should go through the backdoor because their sugar free options offend me. I feel it is each individual’s responsibility to manage their own triggers (ie recovery) as society isn’t going to cater to each individual’s needs. If someone is in recovery from alcohol use, they don’t walk into a bar and have a Twitter fit about being triggered because they were just there for the fries but there was all sorts of alcohol served. If she isn’t in a place in her recovery to go into a froyo shop without feeling triggered, then she shouldn’t have gone in the first place.
Exactly - I don't agree with her on a lot of things, but she's clearly troubled and I hope things get better for her.
I think of it like this: if I know someone's triggers and I deliberately ignore what I can do to help, I'm the jerk. If I'm running a business and someone comes in and is triggered by my product . . . well, that's unfortunate, but I don't think I'm obligated to change my whole business model. If you've got ED issues, there are going to be lots of obvious and not-so-obvious triggers in life and people have to take some accountability to manage their own experience.8 -
Aaaaaaaand now Demi has a comedy pilot called Hungry about a group of friends who belong to a food issues group.4
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Thinking this person's 15 minutes are up. Time for her to go away.
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I knew there was a rant but not the specifics until this post. It was definitely a dumb and selfish one and I feel like if things trigger you, it's your responsibility to walk away and not someone who's just trying to make a living.
I would almost say it was for PR but it's also rumored she's not exactly sober these days so it could be that too.
Bringing this back because....uh....PR.1 -
Entitled. That seems like an entirely person rant about one persons specific opinions. I don't even think those feeling generalize to most people with eating disorder -- some might find healthier options reassuring, whereas others may find the info or number of choices distressing. But basically, offering different types of yogurt is well within what one would expect at a yogurt shop. So get over it.1
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