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We broke up because...
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He would not stop pestering me for money to start studying mycology - studying, right, more like growing.0
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Reporting me for the snacks I preferred 😢0
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Kept referring to me as a snack0
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Didn't like when I nibbled after midnight0
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Would only nibble after midnight....problem is...I worked nights0
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Cause he worked nights...
I gained a lot of weight with all that nibbling0 -
She had insomnia and watched Unsolved Crimes while I tried to sleep, I was always dreaming of murder, AND she started looking at me as if she were plotting and scheming.1
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She started sleeping with a 45 and the one eye open got a little creepy! 😜1
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She asked me to help bury her ex in my backyard.0
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We haven’t! 😌
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Two Timer!!! 😲0
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She played The Doors song Love Me Two Times on repeat ALL the time.0
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She made fun of my OCD0
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She thought I was making fun of her but I was really just picking on her because I like her0
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The bed was always full of sunflower shells0
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Was not a fan of me having a midnight snack1
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She tried to throw away all of my VHS tapes because they supposedly took up too much space - let's not talk about her t-shirt collection.0
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Wouldn’t allow me to wear shirts. Not even in public. 😳1
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I’m not a taco0
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He refused to indulge my food fetishes. 😒0
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She said she no longer loved beard rides0
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He'd never make me coffee in the morning0
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She let her knick knack collections get out of control. We had ceiling to floor shelves of salt and pepper shakers, porcelain swans, thimbles, etc.0
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She was always burning bridges 🔥0
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She insisted on 2 houses with a bridge in between, a good idea except she never let me cross the bridge.0
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She never paid the Bridge Troll his toll👹1
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She fell in love with the troll instead =( I just wasin't enough for her after she met him1
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She thought she was too tall for me, and then called my new guy friend a troll even though he's 5ft 10!1
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She was always doing impersonations - she thought she was funny, she wasn't.2
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She didn't appreciate my humour 😫1
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