What exactly is the point?

You were wonderfully made. You are more perfect then you know. try to discover that. Physiologically you still have 6 years of growing to do. scars and stretch marks at your age will likely go away.

The real point of all this is control. Self control. We all need self control for more reasons then physical health.

You can do this.

awww..I have lots of stretchmarks too and its depressing at times, but I feel so much better about myself the other 23 hrs and 45 minutes of the day that im not undressed and having to see them. Its so worth it to feel good on the inside. I hope you have a more positive attitude as you get older. I lost 100 lbs in my 20's. 16 inches off the waist alone. Its a terrible sight, but I call them my battle scars. I won the war with obesity.
I hope you feel better!

Every single scar I have tells the story of me. Each one is a moment of time in my life that changed and molded me into the person I am now. My newest one is the 6 inch incision scar across my abdomen from removing a tumor in April. While I was recovering I realized that I had to change my life or I wasn't going to make it much longer. I wear all my scars and stretch marks with pride. That which doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

Let me give you something to think about. It's a parallel to what you've shared, so while I realize it isn't the same, it may help you.

I'm a community college professor. One of the things I deal with every semester is students who stumble and fall in an academic sense, and who become easily convinced that their life is over. I remind them that the real judge of a person's character is not whether they stumble (we all do) but how they respond to falling down. You can allow yourself to be defeated or you can learn from it, rise from the ashes, and be stronger. These marks may never go away, but they can be a springboard to greater things. (For example, I greatly impressed the president of the first college where I taught when I explained how I grew from the D+ on my college transcript. I secured his support for the job by how I handled it. The mark will never go away but I've found a way to make it work for me.)

On a much more personal level, let me share with you the deepest emotional scar I expect I will ever carry. 2 1/2 years ago, I lost my second child. His kidneys had failed to develop and he was lost to a stillbirth. Many months later, we learned that I had a very rare genetic disease that was responsible for this. In many ways I will carry the emotional scar of the grief and responsibility for his all to short life for the rest of mine. For many months after this passing I was not able to say little Reverie's name aloud. But here's the thing. The pain of his loss -- which will never go away completely -- allowed us to find out that his big brother has the same disorder. We now know about a kidney disorder that he has and are treating it before it becomes a problem for him. We were also prepared for possible challenges with his little brother, which are abundant (he has, effectively, no ears) and in spite of very severe hearing impairment his speech is only a couple of months delayed. All because of what his brother prepared us for.

Do not take this story as "people have it harder than you," because that is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that when you carry a scar of any kind you can choose to bear it with shame and grief, or you can choose to wear it with pride and as an emblem of what you've learned and who you've become. I will never be totally rid of the grief over losing a child. But the emotional scar from Reverie has come to define my life in a very deep way. That scar has taught me the power of my education in a very deep way, and inspired me to share that with others; I have plans to start an educational foundation in Reverie's memory some day to help other families with less education cope with similar challenges. The scar empowers me to do this; it's only been with me a few years, but I can't imagine life without it, and that is a good thing.

I think it's inevitable that we become defined by our physical and emotional scars. I haven't seen any evidence to suggest that we have a real choice in this matter. But what we DO have power over is whether that definition is a good or a bad thing. Maybe I'm just saying make lemonade from lemons, but I don't think so. I think it's deeper than that. I think it is empowering to OWN our scars and show the world what we've become both as a result of and in spite of our life's battles. Just something to think about.

Peace...

It sounds like the scars you have go deeper than your skin. Your outlook it a matter of persepective, it's your choice on how you want to look at things. I don't think I can impart any words of wisdom that you have not already heard. You are a beautiful young girl with so much ahead of you. Please talk with someone who can help you tackle some of the issues that seem overwhelming. You don't have to do it alone.

To help you get things in perspective, check out Nick Vujicic on YouTube. He has no arms, no legs,no worries.

To offer a male perspective, scars and stretch marks are literally inconsequential when it comes to how most of us perceive beauty. But how men see women and how women see themselves are often very different things - women, by far, are harder on themselves and more aware of and affected by their perceived imperfections than men are.

I understand the challenge it can be to change your paradigm, to see yourself differently than how you presently do. Open your mind to consider the possibility that, to the rest of the world (men especially, if that's a concern), your scars and stretch marks are 100% irrelevant to your beauty (and I'm not just talking about inner beauty, but your physical attractiveness) - that they may as well be invisible or non-existence. With scars and marks, or without, it makes no difference - at least to anyone else.

If your disappointment with your scars or marks is purely internal, I think your best path is to simply work toward an understanding that your negative self-perception is self-created and can be self-controlled - just as you can exercise a muscle to build strength, you can grow to look at yourself and your perceived imperfections differently. Just like losing weight or learning rocket science, it's a process that takes time, forgiveness, and persistence.

Surround yourself with people, in real life and here on the forums, that encourage and uplift you. You don't have to hate your body or your scars - just like every experience in your life has brought you to this moment, to posting here on this forum, this can serve as a turning point for the negativity and pain you feel over these issues.

Your feelings are valid. You can grow beyond them. Forgive yourself, and give yourself permission to feel a little better about yourself each day.

Best of luck - we're all here for you. :-)

I was talking about how I feel about MYSELF and I even said I know people have it worse than I do.
I'm not attacking anyone but myself... I'll carefully read all the replies when I get home.

By the way, I respect your post and your feelings. You're entitled to them. What's important to you is important, and not to be dismissed or minimized.

I don't see what you said as an attack, but I do hope the posts and responses can help you see beauty comes in lots of forms - some are banged up and scarred. Someone telling you you're beautiful may not help, but I hope someday you will KNOW it's true.

There is so much to live for and enjoy in this life - even telling the stories about how you got the scars. Surround yourself with people who love and accept you - and sweep out any that don't build you up. THIS INCLUDES YOURSELF. Try to shake out those negative thoughts. You're worth it, life is worth it, and enjoying every second of it is critical.

My very best to you.

I got stretch marks all over the place too. Most of them see most of them seem to be fading, but you can still see 'em. I guess it's my fault for developing such a large appetite when I was younger and gaining too much weight too quickly. Oh well, what can ya do? Nobody's perfect.