How do I convince my brain to lose weight?
Options
Replies
-
Speakeasy76 wrote: »I read something last night that stuck with me this morning. It was something like - A fixation with the end goal demeans the here and now. It renders the moments we live less important than the place we want to go.
This means that I need to learn to love the process, the journey, and not focus solely on the end result.
Exactly as many of you had said:What I mean is that instead of become so emotionally invested in how or how much weight I was losing I started loving the process of it.
I think I am embarassed by the process, I want to hide away and do it on my own. Admitting I'm trying to lose weight means admitting that I am obese. It's obvious that I'm obese, everyone can see it's true, but I think in my head if I don't admit it, it isn't a problem.
I think my goal should be to "be healthy" and I can start that today - I can't start to "be thin" or "be 100lbs lighter" today.
That brain shift for me--from eating less to "lose weight" to making better choices/eating less to be healthy--was what made the difference for me.
There's been a lot of great advice already but I don't think I see it yet, but one thing successful people will tell you is to rely on discipline rather than motivation. Motivation comes and goes, but discipline is something you can cultivate for long-lasting success. The thing is with discipline, your goal has to be important enough to you to stick with it when it gets tough, or pick yourself back up when you fall off the wagon a bit. View mistakes or falling off the wagon as opportunities to learn rather than excuse to just throw in the towel.
As others have said, start with small, sustainable changes. Maybe for now that means logging your food without the intent to restrict it initially, just so you get an idea how much you eat and where you can start to make changes. Remember, these are habits you want to build for life (maybe not necessarily the tracking part), so if it feels way too hard right now and the end goal isn't big enough to overcome that, you may fail.
When I say this, I acknowledge in advance I'm being a weirdo: For me, I don't even consider discipline to be a workable foundation, as a hedonistic old-hippie type. (I don't know that I'm officially "successful" either, but I have been at a healthy weight for 5+ years now, after multiple previous decades at a weight that was class 1 obese, or at least nearby.) I'm not a disciplined person, rarely "motivated" long term.
For me, what worked was to use my limited supply of discipline temporarily, plus some intellectual curiosity, to experiment with calorie counting, seeking a good balance of reasonable calories, adequate nutrition, satiation, tastiness, practicality, and that sort of thing on the food side; and mostly enjoyable activity on the exercise side of things. It was like a fun science-fair experiment for grown-ups.
Experimentation led to finding the sweet spots where things were easy, i.e., I found habits that were not difficult or or demanding, that kept me at a reasonable calorie balance without too much effort, thought, or stress. I needed a little discipline during the experimentation, and during the time where some of the habits became automatic, but long term they're just habits, routine.
I'm not saying that will work for everyone. (Personalization of methods is key to success, I think.)
In a way, I think my conceptual framing is similar to what the PP said about enjoying the process. I have habits that are easy and happy, and the fact that if followed they'll keep me at a reasonable weight so my future self can be as happy/healthy as possible: That's plenty of motivation, to do easy stuff. If there were a bunch of difficulty and self-denial and hard stuff involved, no way it would stick long term.
As an aside, IMO, someone who's motivated by the scale drop, and doesn't find *some* alternative to that along the way, is going to have a really hard time in maintenance, when the scale is supposed to stop dropping. If that person has used approaches to lose weight that don't feel sustainable long term, that require really high motivation or discipline because they're unpleasant, it will be doubly difficult to handle maintenance.
There's something to be said for finding one's personal "relatively easy", and running with it.
P.S. I'm not intending to be disagreeing with the post I quoted. I'm intending to riff on this part of the "conversation" to talk about alternative ways to conceptualize the process, because I really do think different things work for different people. I'd bet there are a few people out there who feel so proud about doing things that are really super difficult that that can be super motivating, make them feel like a champion, help them stick with it long term. I am NOT that person, and I'm thinking I'm probably not the only one.😉3 -
@AnnPT77
I have to agree with you on this. A great friend of mine would tell me constantly that all I needed was more discipline. I hate to exercise, and find that to be a particularly more difficult part of losing weight. So, at first I put my focus on the diet side of the calorie equation, knowing I’d find that to be much easier. I also knew that trying to fix my eating and add in exercise at the same time would make me want to quit rather quickly. Now that I have the eating part working like a well oiled machine, I have started lifting weights and am actually finding it enjoyable.3 -
My brain is such a jerk. I'm trying to stick to a healthy eating plan so that I can lose some weight to get back to feeling good, healthy, and fit. My brain is such a liar too, we are all on board with doing the right thing, we have agreed to no eat out too much, snack on unhealthy snacks, and drink too much booze but the moment there is even a suggestion to get take out (usually food that's gonna make me bloat up like a tick) my brain is YES that sounds awesome lets do it and brain takes over, then the next day when brain is off thinking about going for a walk or hike I'm like Hey, what happend last night, I thought we were on the same team? Brain doesn't give a *kitten*, so selfish and bossy and sure as *kitten* not giving a damn about what heart and lungs needs to stay alive and be healthy. I'm so tired of brains BS.1
-
Ha! That's funny MFP replaced "$h!T" with "kitten"0
-
Speakeasy76 wrote: »I read something last night that stuck with me this morning. It was something like - A fixation with the end goal demeans the here and now. It renders the moments we live less important than the place we want to go.
This means that I need to learn to love the process, the journey, and not focus solely on the end result.
Exactly as many of you had said:What I mean is that instead of become so emotionally invested in how or how much weight I was losing I started loving the process of it.
I think I am embarassed by the process, I want to hide away and do it on my own. Admitting I'm trying to lose weight means admitting that I am obese. It's obvious that I'm obese, everyone can see it's true, but I think in my head if I don't admit it, it isn't a problem.
I think my goal should be to "be healthy" and I can start that today - I can't start to "be thin" or "be 100lbs lighter" today.
That brain shift for me--from eating less to "lose weight" to making better choices/eating less to be healthy--was what made the difference for me.
There's been a lot of great advice already but I don't think I see it yet, but one thing successful people will tell you is to rely on discipline rather than motivation. Motivation comes and goes, but discipline is something you can cultivate for long-lasting success. The thing is with discipline, your goal has to be important enough to you to stick with it when it gets tough, or pick yourself back up when you fall off the wagon a bit. View mistakes or falling off the wagon as opportunities to learn rather than excuse to just throw in the towel.
As others have said, start with small, sustainable changes. Maybe for now that means logging your food without the intent to restrict it initially, just so you get an idea how much you eat and where you can start to make changes. Remember, these are habits you want to build for life (maybe not necessarily the tracking part), so if it feels way too hard right now and the end goal isn't big enough to overcome that, you may fail.
When I say this, I acknowledge in advance I'm being a weirdo: For me, I don't even consider discipline to be a workable foundation, as a hedonistic old-hippie type. (I don't know that I'm officially "successful" either, but I have been at a healthy weight for 5+ years now, after multiple previous decades at a weight that was class 1 obese, or at least nearby.) I'm not a disciplined person, rarely "motivated" long term.
For me, what worked was to use my limited supply of discipline temporarily, plus some intellectual curiosity, to experiment with calorie counting, seeking a good balance of reasonable calories, adequate nutrition, satiation, tastiness, practicality, and that sort of thing on the food side; and mostly enjoyable activity on the exercise side of things. It was like a fun science-fair experiment for grown-ups.
Experimentation led to finding the sweet spots where things were easy, i.e., I found habits that were not difficult or or demanding, that kept me at a reasonable calorie balance without too much effort, thought, or stress. I needed a little discipline during the experimentation, and during the time where some of the habits became automatic, but long term they're just habits, routine.
I'm not saying that will work for everyone. (Personalization of methods is key to success, I think.)
In a way, I think my conceptual framing is similar to what the PP said about enjoying the process. I have habits that are easy and happy, and the fact that if followed they'll keep me at a reasonable weight so my future self can be as happy/healthy as possible: That's plenty of motivation, to do easy stuff. If there were a bunch of difficulty and self-denial and hard stuff involved, no way it would stick long term.
As an aside, IMO, someone who's motivated by the scale drop, and doesn't find *some* alternative to that along the way, is going to have a really hard time in maintenance, when the scale is supposed to stop dropping. If that person has used approaches to lose weight that don't feel sustainable long term, that require really high motivation or discipline because they're unpleasant, it will be doubly difficult to handle maintenance.
There's something to be said for finding one's personal "relatively easy", and running with it.
P.S. I'm not intending to be disagreeing with the post I quoted. I'm intending to riff on this part of the "conversation" to talk about alternative ways to conceptualize the process, because I really do think different things work for different people. I'd bet there are a few people out there who feel so proud about doing things that are really super difficult that that can be super motivating, make them feel like a champion, help them stick with it long term. I am NOT that person, and I'm thinking I'm probably not the only one.😉
I think there are different interpretations of the word 'discipline' and you're not necessarily far apart in what you mean.
I interpreted 'discipline' in the sense of 'consistency' (perhaps because I'm hedonistic myself and making myself do things I don't like would backfire, so that's what fits with my view).
And yes, consistency is way more important (to me) than motivation. I focus on the process (which, BTW, I made as painless as possible), because it works in the long-term (which makes me happy, in the sense of fulfilled) but I have long periods without any particular motivation (in the short term sense of being excited, raring to go) and I just keep plugging along out of habit. Occasionally I'll get to a certain milestone (new low weight - but that's rare now since I'm inching closer to my goal weight-, improving my running times/distances, lifting heavier weights, etc.) which gives me a little boost, but that's not my focus.2 -
One thing that brings me back to reality is the Photos Only Success Stories thread. Looking at people with their weights next to them makes me face that my current weight looks obese. Then my brain gets on board with dieting.
Another thing is the challenges. Being on a team makes me less likely to go over calories.4 -
I am... very like Ann.
After that I might just be a weirdo.
I am down very nearly 50 pounds. I was obese for 20 years (at least), and am now within the healthy bmi range for my height.
My head is not 'in the game'. My head has not, at ANY point, been 'in the game'. I've never been motivated. I've never focused on weight loss in any real way. It's never been 'hard work' or a hobby or a major life goal or focus.
I started tracking on MFP because I felt like maybe I wasn't getting enough protein (because I felt crappy and someone mentioned it). I wasn't even close. So, I started with one, tiny, thing: to try to hit the minimum recommendation for protein for a woman.
My calorie count came along for the ride, via tracking. I did nothing with that information - nothing at all. I simply tried to get enough protein, while eating everything else and in the amounts I always had. Ie: Adding food IN rather than taking it out.
Once my protein was there, I noticed, kind of abstractly, that my calories had dropped off a little most days - because I was satisfied for longer, because protein. Along this time I also noticed that many things I ate were very calorie dense for not a lot of food and that I didn't care much about them. (There was more than one day with 1K of CONDIMENTS, I kid you not).
With that knowledge now in the back of my head, from simple observation without any big 'motivation' or 'intent', I started making different choices. Easy things, like 'well now I know that mayo has 100 calories per tablespoon, I'm just going to eat my sandwich with mustard', or 'okay I like my coffee with cream and sugar, but that's a lot of calories I don't care THAT much about, what if I try almond milk and stevia'. That sort of thing.
I also also noticed and learned that a lot of foods I already liked a lot have a lot of bang for their calorie buck and I like them. Same absent 'huh, neat' and sort of subconsciously applying that knowledge and eating more of them.
I did that easy, half-hearted, half-paying attention thing for a good TWO MONTHS before I even tried to set my goals in MFP or apply a calorie restriction. When I did, it was almost a GAME. What's the 'cost' of this food I'm eating, how does it make me feel, is it worth it/is it not worth it?
So my knowledge base built and my decisions kept shifting in daily life, but... again not with any focus or intent. I have never cut anything out. I eat dessert most days. I have the very odd WILDLY over calorie day, here and there. It was not a matter of me going 'all in' and 'going hard' at any point. It was just a matter of educating myself and letting it carry me in small bits and ways that felt painless.
I know me. If I'd gone hard at it, upended my diet, and stopped eating cake and trying to do more exercise I'd have quit in 3 days. I didn't do that. I just kind of stumbled along, acquired information and let that information shift things gradually.
I use some strategies - I keep my candy in the freezer and my chips with the canned goods to make them less convenient. I grocery shop online so I don't impulse buy a whole freaking cake at the bakery, etc - but mostly it was just a bunch of tiny little changes born simply of KNOWING MORE.
Admittedly I'm pretty privileged, though. I have some emotional issues with food and a scarcity mentality (using treat food to signal to myself we weren't really poor), but I don't stress eat and my base diet was already pretty healthy (just too much of it). Still. I'm not motivated. I'm not disciplined. I'm not exercising a lot of willpower.
But I have been successful.
6
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 397 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 934 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions