Not discussed enough......

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
The forums cover a lot on diets and exercise, but IMO it doesn't address the one main thing that I believe all successful people have that helped them achieve their success........................................ATTITUDE.

Let's face it, you can have all the right info, all the right equipment for cooking, prepping, working out, etc. but if your ATTITUDE sucks, then good luck with being successful.

There are lots and lots of successful people who didn't have all of the above, yet managed along even when stalls (not plateaus), obstacles, interfering loved ones/friends/family got involved, tough situations, hardships, job, etc. because they had an ATTITUDE that even with all that, they will continue on a consistent program and succeed.

There are so many people that friended me because they wanted to follow me or learn and within a month or so, are gone. All that tells me is that they didn't have the attitude to apply themselves to doing what they were trying to achieve. Personally my best clients are the ones who fail reaching their weekly goal, but have the tenacity to continue on even if that goal one pound loss was only a half pound loss. They keep making the decision to continue even though it's not exactly what they desire. But in the long run (which for the majority is what it is) they did/will reach their goal and I believe appreciate it more than someone who loses fast and then only stays there a short time because they believe they can do it again if it happens again.

Not everything is going to go your way. You can do everything right and still get so so results. You can have a great week, then one that sucks. You can have a loss, then a gain. And those with that ATTITUDE that it's just part of the process will understand this rather than quit or give up.

So check YOUR ATTITUDE. How do you really feel? Do you bash yourself or your program because results are slow or almost non existent? Do you throw your hands up and then go binge because you don't think all this is worth it?

One thing I have to remind my clients sometimes is that it's not always going to be easy. You have to get a backbone instead of a wishbone. Suck it up, take the bad with the good and understand it will all come together IF your ATTITUDE is one that you will prevail regardless.

"It's your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE".

Hope your weekend is great! Mine always is.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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Replies

  • candysashab88
    candysashab88 Posts: 71 Member
    I am now in this for the long haul. I just started but I'm looking at my trends in weight reduction but more importantly how I feel as I am doing something good for me. I do have a PHD in self pity but I know if I want to succeed, I must have faith that I am on a journey to wellness.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
    KevHex wrote: »
    Attitude is important, but I think equally important is understanding and education about the process and time scales, learning new habits, current circumstances, financial position, family & children and how much you can break from family routine to achieve your personal goals. The ability to adapt and grow as a person, and love yourself, is also very important.

    I’ve always had a great attitude, but the David Goggins ‘get hard’ approach to life and challenges does not work for everyone (myself included). I can understand why attitude is a core pillar of yours, but those that struggle day to day with weight loss over a decade are not ‘failing’ simply because of attitude.

    Don’t get me wrong, attitude is important, but is only part of the recipe for me personally.
    You can have all of those at hand and be great at them, but then again if the attitude of negativity,pessimism, procrastination, lack of seriousness, lack of commitment aren't the there, it's not gonna matter. The old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" rings true.
    It's not about being "hard", it's about being resilient when it gets hard. If people already feel they are going to fail without even getting started, then it's almost a guarantee that they will.
    A good example is when a contest is put up. Whether it's money or a prize where a group of people have to achieve something (doesn't matter what it is) over say a month's time, 50% will almost concede that they aren't going to win. About halfway through, another 25% will drop out because they then think they have no chance. In the last week, only about 10% will be competing for top prize. So why only 10% if everyone had the same chance at the beginning? Attitude of how they felt. Successful people ALWAYS believe that the game ain't over till it's over.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • abarocio
    abarocio Posts: 7 Member
    Thanks for the reminder. I have been struggling with poor motivation and focusing too much on numbers. I have a great trainer and I have noticed that I am improving at each work out. I don't notice it on the scale or the measurements but I can do things I couldn't before. Attitude is one of the things that can bring you down and sabotage your health goals.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,287 Member
    edited June 2021
    My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.

    The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.

    Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.

    You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.

    The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.

    Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.

    You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.
    Absolutely. Success will breed success when applied to other aspects in your life. There are many people disciplined in diet and exercise, have a great physique and do all the right things for their physical being, but I've seen where they don't apply that same approach to just say their relationship and they flat out fail at it.
    Life for me has to have good balance in order to be fulfilled. So even outside the gym, my attitude is one of enthusiasm regardless of whatever is going on (well with the exception of tragedy of course). But I've always been a glass half full guy ever since I was a kid. And starting out as a 5'6" 126lbs 19 year old to where I am now took a lot of rough turns, but my attitude helped me endure it. As well as other great hardships in my life (was almost homeless once).

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.

    A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.

    ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
    Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
    Etc.

    No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
    We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.
    While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.

    And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.

    Sometimes things are impossible.
    Should we stop there? Probably not.
    But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
    As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.
    We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 1,944 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.

    A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.

    ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
    Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
    Etc.

    No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
    We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.
    While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.

    And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.

    Sometimes things are impossible.
    Should we stop there? Probably not.
    But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
    As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.
    We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.

    I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.


  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.

    A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.

    ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
    Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
    Etc.

    No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
    We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.
    While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.

    And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.

    Sometimes things are impossible.
    Should we stop there? Probably not.
    But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
    As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.
    We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.

    I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.

    Probably because you may not have been given options? I've trained people in wheelchairs, with one arm, with one hand, etc.
    It's maybe only problematic because they may feel they are limited to a couple of options. Wouldn't giving them many more be a boost?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,287 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.

    A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.

    ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
    Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
    Etc.

    No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
    We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.
    While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.

    And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.

    Sometimes things are impossible.
    Should we stop there? Probably not.
    But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
    As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.
    We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.

    I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.


    Question from a lurker/ally : May I ask why you think this when there are adaptable exercises (or rehabilitation programs) for people living with varying abilities, both physical and mental?

    I realize answering this question may require emotional labour and, as such, please know that as an ally to all I appreciate your continuing the dialogue in this thread.

    It's informative yet there's still a gap of understanding for me, hence the question.
  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 1,944 Member
    I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )

    Bingo.

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,287 Member
    Thank you to you both @Fidgetbrain and @MargaretYakoda

    While I didn't necessarily read that from @ninerbuff's posts (or have that intention to infer this in my post), I hear you - both of you - and appreciate you sharing your experiences. It happens to be personally helpful but also helpful in the work I'm committed to do (umm, when I'm not playing Acronym Game /callback)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,192 Member
    I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )
    It WILL be harder with people who progress slowly due to injury, ability, etc. And for them, it would be the easiest to give IF NOT for an attitude of tenacity, diligence, and perseverance. Many times in these forums, I see threads where people who are much heavier than average create excuses as to why they may never get to a normal weight so they concede before even trying. A defeatist attitude won't get one to where they need to. One has to just keep plugging away even with all the deterrents they may face. I personally would rather train someone who does it that way even if their results come much slower. Because in the end, they really appreciate themselves for being strong through. People that can lose fast or anytime they want aren't the ones who impress me.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png