The Fight of my Life -Update WaistBasket

43 days ago I found MFP. Not sure what to expect I but I wanted to give it a try.

I lost 25 pounds. I still weigh 337 pounds and now I am ashamed of it. I can't love my body or my weight no matter what the media tells me. I don't want to look and feel like this. How did it even happen? I love myself as a person, but not the obese woman I have become. I feel disgusted knowing I easily ate 3000 to 4000 calories a day before I started logging.

I am learning. I am weighing my food. I am writing a journal. I met with a dietician. I signed up for a cooking class to learn to prepare healthier meals. I log my meals. I am honest when I log my food. Every day I struggle. Every day it's a choice. I am angry with myself. How did I get here?

I know this is the fight of my life? A fight for my health. I don't want to be housebound. I want to walk. I can only manage 1000 steps a day and it feels like a marathon. My cheap watch is counting and I feel silly wearing a fitness watch. I haven't done much small talk here with my friends. I have been focused on myself. I feel like I am in a league of my own.

I don't want diabetes. I don't want a heart attack. I don't want to weigh 400 pounds. I want me exactly like I am just thinner and healthier.

I feel like a failure but I know a weight loss of 25 pounds is a huge success. I want more and I want it fast. I know it's not possible. But if you don't shoot for the stars?

My goals:
8/1 320 pounds
9/1 305 pounds
10/1 290 pounds
11/1 285 pounds
12/1 270 pounds
New Year 265 pounds


I am a little bit proud of myself. 25 pounds is a lot but only the tip of the mountain for me.


  • jpphillips2112
    jpphillips2112 Posts: 3 Member
    Way to go! 25 lbs is an amazing accomplishment! Keep up the good work, you are worth it. There are lots of reasons why people overeat and gain weight which can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Focus on your weight loss committments from now on, and you will continue to reach your goals. :)
  • tdsimoes67
    tdsimoes67 Posts: 18 Member
    I totally understand your feelings, but you are doing something about it... and the decision to start is sometimes the hardest one to make. If you keep your goals in mind and celebrate the wins, even 25 lbs is a huge accomplishment, you will get there. Just don't put yourself down, it takes strength to realize that you need to make a change, and you've done that....
  • sikorski
    sikorski Posts: 57 Member
    Losing 25 pounds is a great achievement! Congrats! You've taken the first steps on the journey to better health and a slimmer you. Time and patience are your best friends, because it will take a lot of both to reach your goals.
  • Zinka61
    Zinka61 Posts: 490 Member
    You *should* be proud of yourself. You're actually losing at a very good clip, and before long, you will be really noticing the difference. I know it's hard to be patient, but you are really on the right track, and looking back you will probably be surprised at how quickly you changed.