A Broken Man, But Better...

lisaccleaver wrote: »

Very inspiring. What a great job. I am proud that you took your therapist's advice, and that you are seeing a therapist. Sharing your story really helps others and that is very important in your healing process. You look amazing in your photos of your bod. So happy for you that you have been able to share and accomplish so much.

Thank you for the kind words, I hope this thread has helped someone out there. And thank you for the compliment. No one has seen me without my shirt on for a very long time so I was pretty nervous putting that photo on the internet for anyone to see. I guess I thought this thread would have more of an impact if I could bring myself to post a "good" after picture.

Une_Poire wrote: »

Best wishes on the interview!

Thank you so much.

salleewins wrote: »

CONGRATULATIONS!!

One day and step at a time. How exciting!! The therapist can probably help a lot with coworker dynamics along the way. Maybe start right at the beginning with keeping things light, cordial, happy without much serious depth...See what she thinks. Have a plan going in and forward and discuss what you need to along the way with her. You may not have had her before and/or the old job was just not right and not for you. Maybe it just was not healthy... The current job I have is not healthy and I am looking, too. I am going to ask for more help, too. Things can be different. You will do well and you will grow. We all should be growing. Your reaction is important. Remember you have worth no matter what. Hope it is a good match.

I only started therapy a few months ago so it is a resource I didn't have previously, I'm hoping that it will make a difference this time around. My plan to start off is basically to be polite and cordial but also probably be the quiet weird guy who doesn't talk a lot. I'm quiet by nature but I think I need to be extra reserved, at least at the beginning and then work on things from there.

The job I'm starting is in retail so it has nothing to do with the scientific industry I was in previously, which is a very toxic industry. When I first started therapy, my therapist did some research on workplace hostility and bullying and told me the industry I was in is was one of the worst for that kind of environment. I wasn't very surprised to hear that.

I hope you find a new line of work soon and that you will be happier and healthier for it.

springlering62 wrote: »

If it’s any comfort, it’s equally as awesome to see some unknown person on the internet that you’re silently pulling for do good!

I don't know if this is weird or not, but that actually made me feel a lot better. It made this whole process seem a lot less one-sided. Thank you for that.

JBanx256 wrote: »

Congrats!!!

Thank you so much, I appreciate it.

WellnessGeek wrote: »

Every journey starts with a step and it seems like you have been taking quite a few in the right direction, and the courage to share, which is fantastic.

Sometimes the seemingly small or “insignificant” steps have big impact, although you might not know where at the time

A lifecoach once told me that most people see the path to success as a straight line from the starting point to the goal. The reality however, is that it is a series of zig-zags off and back on the path. The key is to keep taking steps, and keep finding your way back to the path.

And the “goal” is only a stepping stone that lets you then see all of the other possibilities, places to venture next. Just like in the photo you shared from long ago up on the high peak. (Reminds me of a place I hiked to back in Maine long ago)

Thanks for sharing your story, and so glad to see the positive update. My very best wishes for continued success with your journey!

That's a really nice philosophy and way to look at things. I've been trying to look at life like that for the last while now but it is difficult to lose the expectations and worries about potential outcomes. I'm still working at it, and will hopefully get better with practice, but it's still a struggle for me.

That mountain top photo wasn't in Maine, but I read a lot of Stephen King and he always makes it sound so beautiful there. Hopefully I'll get to see for myself someday.

BrennanArmacost wrote: »

Great blog! If this is a blog... I just got here, sorry, so I'm not sure if it's a blog or you created a forum here. Well, I am impressed with all the work you've done reclaiming your health. Your therapist probably wanted you to share so that you could get the positive feedback on all that hard work! I can't tell by looking that you have any extra skin. If you didn't tell anyone, they wouldn't know! Because it looks good. You could probably even compete in body building competitions if you want to, in the very near future. Or you could be a personal trainer. You have an inspiring story that you could share with your clients, if you went that route. Thank you for sharing!

I don't think it's a blog, but it's certainly blog-like.

The extra skin is hardly noticeable when I'm standing, although you can see the tell-tale shape of my belly button, but it becomes more obvious in other positions. When I hunch over my lower abdomen gets kind of a "crinkled" look to it and also first thing in the morning when I'm not very hydrated. When I'm in a prone position, like pushups or planks, it looks like I have a sock puppet trying to escape from my stomach. It's getting better as I continue to lower my fat % but I think I'll have some amount of that for the rest of my life. It should make for a fun conversation with some lucky lady if I ever start dating again... If it would help anyone with their own body image issues I would be willing to try to post photos of it, I didn't before because I wasn't sure if that would matter to anyone.

Thank you for the kind words, I have actually considered getting certified as a person trainer at some point. It's a good way to make money on the off hours of a day job and motivation for staying active. I'm still in baby steps mode though, so maybe someday.