Accountability Thread - Reduce treats

First, I apologize for the long post! This is my plea for help.

This thread is my attempt to find some accountability to stick to my goals and reduce my treat consumption. I don't have anyone in my life that will help me when discipline fails, so I reach out to the kindness of strangers to keep me on track! I have tried on my own for months and always fail.

My September goal: Reduce treat intake from multiple daily to 1 a day 4 days a week.
-"treat" = anything empty calorie that is consumed for pleasure and does not contribute to health in any way. Usually chocolate something, But could also be non-chocolate cookie/ice cream

My September plan:
-Stick to Darebee September workout plan and challenges in the mornings
-Hit my macro and hydration goals
-Add walking M/W/F at the time I would normally have dessert
-Consume healthy alternatives to full treats. (healthy = fruit, low calorie ice cream, small chocolate, protein yogurt. Full treat = cake/cupcake, full ice cream, cookies)

Mental challenges:
-Husband is not on treat restriction, will still be having treats at our established "Dessert o'clock"
-Vending machine and office events full of sweets at work.
-Do not want to trash the sweets in the house, they are all high quality and perfectly acceptable if I learn to pace myself
-Knowing I don't have the calorie room and saying "screw it"...multiple days in a row
-Husband enabling because "it makes you happy" and not being able to help me be strict to achieve long term goal. Buying sweets every time we go out to grocery store (cake, mousse cups, etc) because "this was unique and looked good"

Reasoning I'm already aware of:
-It is ok to have treats in your diet, don't restrict: I agree but right now chocolate is in control of me, not me in control of the chocolate consumption.
-One day/one treat won't throw off your plans: I have got to be strict about this. I used to be better about only consuming if it fit in calorie budget, but have not followed that since 2021 started. In terrible pattern of "tomorrow/next week/next month I'll start..."
-Allow yourself joy on random events, don't restrict: We have frequent events, I can skip some of the sweets and let others have them. When it is my turn to contribute treats I can bring a healthy option
-Just because he/she/they have something doesn't mean you have to: yeah but when they encourage you to I only have willpower to say "No" so many times before I give in.

I plan on posting to this thread every day and confirm if I stuck to my plan, or if I gave in to temptation. Or when/how bad I struggled. I consume way too much sugar and I always start my day with goal and determination in mind, and then....

Please post and help me. If I don't share my day ask me about it. If I caved give me the tough love and hold me accountable to be better next time. If I succeed celebrate with me, feed that positive reinforcement for NOT indulging that I am missing in my life. If I have a healthy alternative instead of full empty carb treat, encourage or share your alternatives.
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Replies

  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    emmies_123 wrote: »

    Maybe have your hubby store treats in a closed cabinet. "out of sight, out of mind"? That's what my hubby does. he takes treats in his lunch every day, but if I don't see them, I don't crave them. As I practice mindfulness, I find I less and less think that treat would be worth the calories or mental beating I would give.
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    saw this on another thread, thought you might like it:

    If you like ice cream You'll love this homemade sorbet!!!! Roughly 85 calories per one cup serving. (you can plug the recipe into mfp and get the exact calories/macros) 3 ingredients!

    1 16 oz frozen bag of your favorite fruit (I use wal mart brands) like pineapple chunks, peaches, frozen mixed berries, blackberries, raspberries....whatever you like!

    1 frozen banana (I buy a frozen bag of great value sliced bananas and use one bananas worth approx 120 calories)

    1 premier vanilla protein shake (Or wal marts equate verision of premier protein shake)

    Mix all three ingredients into a vitamix, or nutribullet or ninja. You need one of these emulsifying blenders not a regular blender as a regular blender just won't do the job.

    puree on high for one minute....stir well and puree another minute. IF it's a wee bit to thick add a little bit of water to it.

    Dish out into six one cup covered containers and freeze. It will freeze hard to when ready to eat either microwave for about 20 seconds to soften right up OR set out an hour before you plan on eating it.

    Other variations:
    1 16 oz bag frozen peaches
    1 frozen banana
    1 premier peaches and cream protein shake

    OR

    1 16 oz bag frozen strawberries
    1 frozen banana
    1 premier strawberries and cream protein shake

    OR

    1 16 oz bag frozen pineapple chunks
    1 frozen banana
    1 premier bananas and cream protein shake

    Get creative!!!!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Hmmm we don't have an emulsifiying blender for the sorbet, but sounds tasty.
    We have tried the "out of sight out of mind" but I still know where they are, so I just go for it. They are even on bottom shelf so not easily visible when i go for something else.

    Once I have got through the existing treats (which again I refuse to throw out..) I want to have one wicker basket for "treats." The idea is that if something doesn't fit in the basket then I can't buy it. Have a box of chocolate in it at home, can't buy that cake. Cake box wouldn't fit at all, can't buy it. I want to be able to control my consumption, and not eliminate from the house forever. But this will prevent build up of "it was unique" purchases, and make me really think about which calories are worth making room for.


    I find it very easy to break my own promises and "lie" to myself. Much harder to lie to others, hence this thread. When I first got my sugar intake under control I had a gym community supporting and cheering me on, but I no longer have that so I feel very on my own.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    We have "Dessert o'clock" too :)

    And this includes our cat, who can apparently tell time, because he will come inside for it.

    I was fortunate to find a brand of cookies that my OH likes and I do not - WIN!

    Unfortunately, another brand was on sale, I bought them, liked them, and, being premenstrual, had a hard time moderating them. I can't "hide" them in my kitchen, but having them down in the basement works better.

    I was having Greek vanilla yogurt and berries for dessert time, but this was oddly triggering heartburn, despite neither food being listed as a common trigger. Now I'm having a half small chicken sandwich and a Ghirardelli square.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    We have "Dessert o'clock" too :)

    I was having Greek vanilla yogurt and berries for dessert time, but this was oddly triggering heartburn, despite neither food being listed as a common trigger. Now I'm having a half small chicken sandwich and a Ghirardelli square.

    I bought a 30 cal popsicle, and a greek yogurt popsicle to replace icecream. Guess how many i have eaten instead of having ice cream?

    On the plus side I have been eating up old stores of chocolate and not replacing them.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    I wish you luck, emmies_123. It took me a good long while to figure this out and I still struggle sometimes.

    My favorite current dessert is frozen blueberries and frozen banana with chopped walnut and 15g of vanilla yogurt all mashed together. It's super sweet and only 125 calories.



    kshama, if it comes to me having to have a chicken sandwich instead of dessert I'm going to just stop eating.
    Now I'm having a half small chicken sandwich and a Ghirardelli square.
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,464 Member
    Emmie,
    All your plans sound great to me.
    Stay strong!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    ChaoticMoira:

    1/4: I managed to curb the cravings before with things in the house, I know I can do it. Things like instead of having a slice of cake I would have one caramel square, etc. I get that throwing it away is an option, but that is a waste of things I love. Not bringing new things in, I can get behind that.
    2. I have a bunch of recipes saved, and hope to be able to sub in fruit and low calorie desserts. But of course that requires buying it and eating before they go bad.
    3. He works at home, so no sneaking the chocolate. In the past he has been on point about buying flavors of ice cream he knows I won't like. I have also got better about sharing instead of hoarding for later servings.
    4. I think my hubby would be better if I hadn't let it get to the point where we have a serious discussion about no sweets, then I cave and he stops asking me if I reallllly want something, or he brings in house as a surprise (he does the shopping). It doesn't help that I am thin and look like i workout. I have to cut the sweets if I want to lose that belly though.


    Understand I am not trying to go cold turkey. I stated my goal was 4 days a week (instead of 7). I refuse to make myself miserable in the pursuit of healthiness, and am a firm believer in moderation/slow burn to maintain consistancy. I know I can moderate when I have a community to report to, and that I have done this in the past without resorting to huge scale measures. But I lost that community, and then had a bad bout of depression early this year, followed by party season (birthdays, anniversaries, etc all line up week after week for two months). I am still better than I was pre-MFP, but not where I was in 2020. Does that make sense?
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Update 8/24:

    In the spirit of the September goal, I'll update on yesterday.
    I was working from home, a rare occurrence, so I had access to additional food than what I would have taken to the office. I gave in and had 2 Nibmor dark choc blueberry squares after lunch. I had them because they were available, I was tired, and "they are healthy choc" Which to be fair, 2 = 80 calories so I could have done worse.

    I was strong and my "Dessert" was greek yogurt + premier protein shake. Those helped me get my protein goal and let me feel I was having something sweet at the end of the day.

    I also wanted to compromise with Chaotic Moira's tough love. So I sorted the sweets shelf into "his/hers/shared" There are only 3 things in my pile, and all are low calorie and able to be portioned out with spoiling. The things that are "shared" will be split 50/50 once opened so I don't eat too many of them (my husband can portion out dessert to last all year, he has less of a sweet tooth and doesn't munch through sugar like I do)

    ______

    Today I will be in the office, and not taking any sweets with me to snack on. My greek yogurt will be work snack if I need one, and I will not use the vending machine. I have logged my food for the day and have no spare calories for dessert, so I will not have it!
  • Kevvboy
    Kevvboy Posts: 81 Member
    If you are "thin," why are you restricting calories? I find this thread very confusing and a little off-putting. You are sabotaging yourself, and your husband is sabotaging you, but perhaps it's because you don't need to lose weight? If you do, start by getting rid of all the sweets. That's the best advice here. Give them away, throw them away, doesn't matter. Bringing them into your house is your way of making sure you don't progress. In other words, you have become obsessed with the concept of "treats" and you need a reboot. Best of luck!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Kevvboy:

    I need a body recomp, I want to look a certain way for my own esteem and empty treat calories are preventing me from reaching that goal. I have modified the rest of my diet decently, and reducing treats is the last "easy" target before I need to decide if I'm going to really dig deep on nutrition.

    And yes I love treats. They have been a daily thing ever since I was a kid, and now i eat them automatically.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Lunchtime update: No treats yet. I still have my yogurt if I get a craving, and I just need to ensure I do not have dessert tonight after dinner. I know this dinner, it will make me full and I do not need sugar for hunger or macro reasons. If I eat dessert it is out of habit, not need or want.
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    it sounds like your day is going good. When you think tonight you want to have a dessert, get up, walk out of the house for 15 minutes, then come in and have a long drink of cold water. Your hubby should be done with his by then and you get the added benefit of movement.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Bedtime update:

    Dinner got changed because husband wasn't up to what we had planned (he has been sick this week). With the re-arrangement came dessert room calories, so I had a Yasso greek yogurt bar. Delicious, only 100 calories, and helped get a little extra protein in!

    I could have gone without, but I still have calories left over even after that and hit all my macros so I allowed it. I also could have gone way worse (rich ice cream, swiss roll, etc) and chose the healthier option. I consider that a win!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Morning update:

    I caved and got a donut after my dr appt. The stress from this week (medical emergency Mon-Tues + dislike of dentist today) got the better of me. Food diary has been updated to reflect a different breakfast than planned, and I'm still not too far off my goals so I will not let myself feel too guilty.
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    By acknowledging you wanted that donut and not allowing it to derail the rest of your day is a win. Life is about accommodating need vs want. Eat very clean for your body about 90% of the time allows 10% for the not so clean items. If you can't allow some treats in your life, it won't be sustainable and you'll give up. Keep being consistent!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Afternoon update: Saw treats (fun sized snickers, milky way, etc) on the breakroom freebie table and did NOT take one! I have no other reason to go in there today so I successfully avoided unnecessary chocolate!
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Good evening,

    I managed to stay strong and avoid eating any more sweets! I am proud of myself for not eating any out of habit, and being happy with the decision. Tomorrow is finally Friday, and hopefully the end of what has been a really rough week for me.
  • Kevvboy
    Kevvboy Posts: 81 Member
    Good job invoking the willpower! I think part of the problem here is you are keeping those "treats" available so they are ALWAYS talking to you, tempting you. If you get rid of them, it will stop. Also, I have found that once I stop eating sugar for about three or four days, the cravings disappear. Give it a shot. Just say, for one week, NO treats that aren't healthy *fruit* or veg. One week. I bet you'll break the cycle. Good luck!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    okay so... this is going to be one of those posts where people realize why I have the username I do. And that they either really like me ... or really don't. It is what it is.

    it is not the job of strangers to keep you accountable. It is YOUR job. Not mine. not your husband. Not any other MFP member. YOURS. Your food issues are your own. Just as my food issues are my own. It is not your job to keep peanut butter cups out of my mouth is it? no. it is mine.

    I've lost almost 200 pounds. have a bit more to go. not much. my husband, skinny jerk that he is, needs to GAIN weight. Because, of course he does. I've still managed to lose weight, with him having totally opposite caloric needs AND having a teenage boy in the house who eats like a linebacker for the NFL and yet ... is also a skinny jerk. How? Because *I* control what I put in my mouth. Because *I* control how much food I put on my plate. We all eat the same thing for dinner almost every night. They might eat MORE but we eat the same meal.

    Regarding sweets and junk food, in particular, there's a fair amount of it in our house. I purposely do not buy the things that i KNOW I can't leave alone. There's not many. Any peanut butter/ chocolate combination is out. I learned last week that the nabisco chewy chocolate chip cookies with the brownies inside can not come in the house again. LMAO. The nutter butter WAFER cookies are a no. the hard ones i dont care about. but the wafers i can sit and eat the entire package in one sitting. So for my boys ... I buy things i CAN leave alone. or only eat a normal portion of. There are PLENTY of things that they DO really enjoy that I dont care about. I love oreos but have no problem only eating a couple at a time. so those are okay. same for most cookies really. chips dont hold too much appeal for me. same for ice cream. I love to bake but really only do it in the fall and winter, but have no problem leaving most of it alone. So, they get a ton of baked sweets and breads and stuff during the cooler months. I will not make fudge, because I can't leave it alone (or i will make it only before a party or something when i know i can send it away with people). So you learn where your demons are, and avoid them altogether. If everything is your demon, then (I'm going to be very blunt here) you are going to have to find a better coping mechanism than food because it is unfair to your family to not have the things they want and enjoy because you are trying to lose weight. if your husband ABSOLUTELY LOVES AND HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING... i would suggest in that particular case ... he keep it at work. but it truly needs to be a one or two item thing, not half the kitchen.

    all that being said, you absolutely can fit treats and sweets in. every day if you want. I do. most days, anyway. usually chocolate, but not always. i prefer it to be, though LOL

    fyi...pudding cups are a pretty good low calorie option for a chocolate fix thats only around 100 calories ;) theyre even good frozen :P
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    @callsitlikeiseeit

    I understand what you are saying, and I know at the end of the day it is my decision what goes into my body. I also know that mentally I work better if I have someone to be accountable to. Even if I am shouting into the void and no one ever responds, the fact that I have set myself up to post updates here is actually helping me. I passed on those chocolate bars yesterday at work because I didn't want to report that I had one. And yes I understand that is what the log is for, but it is really really easy for me to lie to myself and not record an unexpected snack or a higher calorie dessert. I also battle anxiety and depression, which is what kicked off my return to old sweet habits in the first place. Part of that is finding strategies to make things easier, because I only have so much willpower to give myself each day and that end of day chocolate sure looks appealing when I'm already exhausted from making better choices the rest of the day.

    You are also right that it isn't fair to deprive my husband of sweets that he wants. I never said that I was going to do so. He has less of a sweet tooth than I do so most of what is in the house is for me, and anything that is purely for him I'm good at not chowing down on. The only exception is containers that we are sharing, because I will shovel through it faster than him and thus end of eating more than my fair share in the long run.

    If you look at some of my older posts on MFP I used to say the same thing about fitting sweets in each day. I hope to be able to get back to that. But right now, I'm not making the good choices I used to. Instead of having a low calorie option I go for the cake, or a brownie, or full serving ice cream. Or I eat two when I should have one piece, etc. Hence the thread, I want to cut down on the daily treats so that my body readjusts and considers the healthier options to be actual treats, and not lesser versions of high-calorie stuff. So it is "I get to have a salted caramel bit" or "I'm going to have a bowl of strawberries" and not "I'm only having this caramel bite instead of the cake I want." Does that make sense?
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    @Kevvboy

    I hope that the cravings will disappear also! I did get some free peaches off the work table yesterday (instead of the candy bars!), and I plan on having those as my sweet treat this weekend once they are ripe. The freebie table is both a blessing and a curse lol.

    We have no family gatherings that would introduce large calorie sweets to me in September, so I'm really hoping I can get back to old ways this month before the next round of holidays. Luckily no kids in my house so October all the candy goes out the door!
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    edited August 2021
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    I want to cut down on the daily treats so that my body readjusts and considers the healthier options to be actual treats, and not lesser versions of high-calorie stuff. So it is "I get to have a salted caramel bit" or "I'm going to have a bowl of strawberries" and not "I'm only having this caramel bite instead of the cake I want." Does that make sense?

    Sure it makes sense. I think we all have or had trick or mind games that become habits, that help us keep on track. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's part of ... keeping yourself accountable.

    oh and i saw you mentioned earlier that you are a normal weight? or skinny? something like that. if you havent seen this thread? its good. definitely worth the read. but have a big stomach. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat/p1

  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    @callsitlikeiseeit
    I have read that thread =) I am in normal BMI range, i guess that is the better descriptor. Although just barely, on the high end of it. I am happy with my body and what it can do, but I also know I can do better and shouldn't stop here just because it is acceptable.

    Afternoon update: Staying to my goals. Had a healthy breakfast and lunch, and planned out my dinner. I'm going to Costco tonight and that will be a test to make sure nothing frivolous makes it back home!
  • azalea4175
    azalea4175 Posts: 290 Member
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    Good evening,

    I managed to stay strong and avoid eating any more sweets! I am proud of myself for not eating any out of habit, and being happy with the decision. Tomorrow is finally Friday, and hopefully the end of what has been a really rough week for me.

    great job!! it's tough, I know.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    emmies_123 wrote: »
    @callsitlikeiseeit
    I have read that thread =) I am in normal BMI range, i guess that is the better descriptor. Although just barely, on the high end of it. I am happy with my body and what it can do, but I also know I can do better and shouldn't stop here just because it is acceptable.

    Afternoon update: Staying to my goals. Had a healthy breakfast and lunch, and planned out my dinner. I'm going to Costco tonight and that will be a test to make sure nothing frivolous makes it back home!

    Will you pick me up some frivolous items? They keep me mentally healthy. 😀

    And congrats on your will power! It's definitely hard and something I have none of.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    Annnnd the craving has begun. Also noticed it started around the same time i started feeling sleepy, not sure where that association has come from. Coincidence or not? hmmmm...

    I still have my greek yogurt to nom, trying to wait until 3pm so I am full before grocery trip and last until dinner time.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,437 Member
    I have a different approach.

    I love treats. The more treats I can squeeze in a day, the happier and more satisfied I am.

    Redefining my definition of “treat” is probably what rounded the curve for me.

    Instead of cookies or chocolates, I taught myself to consider these as treats: fruits, cottage cheese, yogurt, jello, a chicken sausage, cucumber, carrots, a single small hard candy (typically 5-15 calories apiece), beef jerky, fruit leather, veggies and zero cal ranch dressing, leftover pancakes from breakfast, tiny little tubs of sardine páte, and so on.

    On a typical day, I’ll have 6-800 calories reserved for treats.

    The game is to see how many I can squeeze into that budget. It’s like Tetris. I gloat when I can get in five or six snacks.

    If for some reason I have a particularly light “real meal” scheduled, I’ll use those extra calories for a super special treat, like the fudge frosted brownie from my corner bakery Tuesday.

    For something like that, I put the phone down, turn the TV off, and try to remind myself to eat it slowly and savor every bite to make it worthwhile. I try to make it a completely different experience from “old me” who would have shoveled in several without thinking, reached to find the bag empty, and carelessly wondered where they’d all gone.

    I also try to make meals treats. I have been eating cake batter pancakes supplemented with a little whey powder and extra egg white for months. I brush zero cal caramel or chocolate syrup on them and roll them up like pirouettes. It’s all in my head but it feels so extravagant to have cupcake- like finger food for breakfast.

    Dinner tonight is carefully shaved London broil pan fried with a little seasoning, rolled in naan bread, with a side of broccoli slaw pumped up with a shredded apple.

    TL:DR. Don’t change your longing for treats. Change the treats you long for.
  • emmies_123
    emmies_123 Posts: 513 Member
    @springlering62

    I love your thought process, although I don't think I could ever consider carrots a treat =P The gamification of fitting in healthy stuff is awesome though! I could see that working with yogurt, fruit, and maybe getting to have "fancy" sides with my dinner meat.

    Shopping outcome: I got one frivolous thing, but I shall use it to practice savoring and slowing.