WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2021

skuehn48 wrote: »

I went to CA to pick up my mom so she could move in with myDD and I on August 12. She had fallen off a chair trying to reach into a cupboard and was experiencing a lot of pain. We returned to WA 5 days later with her still having a lot of pain that she attributed to her sciatica. After a week here we had to take her to the ED by ambulance for intractable pain. A CT showed that she had diverticulitis and it had ruptured the bowel. They told us at 97 yo she would be unlikely to survive surgery so they admitted her to the hospital on antibiotics and bowel rest. She is now home on hospice and things are not looking good. Her breathing is very difficult tonight. I wish she could just let go.

bananasandoranges wrote: »

long whinge about minor thing

I am way behind in paperwork, for somewhat valid reasons. like housework I've been having trouble keeping up over the past few years.
I sometimes call on an administrative assistance service.
I new person was to come this morning at 9:30 am. I wrote to him and called last week - at least by Thursday to ask him to call me. I was going to check with him to see if there were other more suitable times, for both of us. He never answered so I left it at that.
Since I hadn't heard from him it seemed wise to write to him an SMS at 9am to say see you at 9:30.
At 9:18 I got a message saying that he was running late due to transport issues. Anything is possible, but I question it. he didn't say when he'd be arriving. At about 9:50 - I wrote to ask when he would be arriving. He said 5 minutes. At 9:55 he sent an sms (rather than calling or asking the building concierge), or looking at the info sent to him, saying "he was downstairs" which I didn't see till 10 min later. It's unheard of for someone in that position that to wait downstairs for 10 minutes. He had multiple opportunities to re-ask for the floor and apartment.He finally arrived 40 min late, for a 2h work session. The company said that is not in his habits to arrive late. I felt very annoyed and not reassured, and preferred not to start the work session with just 1h20 minutes left.
It's not just that he was late - it's that 1) he didn't answer at all last week 2) he didn't confirm at 9am when I texted 3) when he said he would be late he gave no notion that he would be half an hour or 40 min late. - I would have thought 10 or 15 minutes. (there is no very major public transport issue locally - though he could have had a more distant one - but then he would have known in advance. 4) he didn't take any initiative to find my floor and apartment when he arrived - he would already have my floor and apartment - and could ask the concierge.
I am thinking he completely missed the appointment somehow and realised only when I texted him and then came as quickly as possible - saying it was a transport issue.
Even that would be okay - not great - but not being forthright.
It's uncomfortable partly because he would be in my home, looking at my papers, and if he is not organised and communicative - I don't know how he can be in administrative work.
It might well be that he made one big mistake - forgetting the appointment - and then was not forthright or clear about the situation.
I said I felt uncomfortable and I preferred not to work together today. I guess had I known he'd be 40 min late - I'd simply have cancelled. I find it not forth right to contact 10 min early saying he's going to be late for a 2h appointment -but not say how long.
I'm a teacher - and if I am more than 20 minutes late (it can happen - very rarely - if I have, say, a flat tire or something totally out of my control), I full well expect that many if not all of the students will have left, if I don't tell them that I am arriving at a specific time.

But what bothers me more than anything is that I feel really angry still over an hour later. I find it's not reasonable of me. I feel like it's underlying uneasiness that makes me feel more upset than is warranted for things that occur. I find that very unpleasant of myself and I feel pretty badly about that.

I didn't go overboard with him. I just said felt uncomfortable starting when he had arrived so late, and I'd prefer not to work together today. Then I called the service and said I felt uncomfortable about the communication and organization skills, given that he hadn't also never answered. I feel bad cause service industry can be hard and it must be discouraging for him to travel (no idea how far in reality) to have to turn around. This said, if I arrived 40 min late at 1st appointment anywhere -giving private lessons say- without confirming the previous week nor the same day - nor saying how late I would be when saying I would late - I would well expect the person to be very iffy at best - and would not consider him or her unreasonable if not wanting to pursue.

I'm gonna do 15 min on the recumbant to evacuate nervous energy, schedule an appointment with osteopath for late in the week, and meditate 15 min and then get to work on other stuff.

I would like to be less emotional when not very serious things go off.

This said I have more serious things that are cause for stress professionally - that are underlying causes for tension - among other things. but it's not useful to be stuck in angry or upset feeling frequently.

I started the day pretty good- I went out at 7:30ish for a standing up coffee at the bar- quite quick - less than 15 minute. then sat by the park (not yet open) and did a sketch (I had wanted to go the park as I'm trying to go daily for de-stressing - but It was slightly late in opening and then I got really into sketching at this non-descript corner.
then I had to tidy considerably to make home rather okay to visit and prepare a pile of papers that were easy to treat.
I was feeling upbeat. And if I dealt with this minor disturbance okay on an outer level, on an inner level I feel quite upset and stuck for something quit minor- in the large scheme of things.

I'm not sure how I can make headway in that level.
anyway
will follow the momentary game plan listed above.

Machka9 wrote: »

My antidepressants take care of that nicely for me.

There are heaps of things I could get quite worked up about - angry, upset - but I feel very little. A bit frustrated occasionally, a touch annoyed, tired.

Mainly I don't feel much anymore. It's good.


M in Oz

bananasandoranges wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

My antidepressants take care of that nicely for me.

There are heaps of things I could get quite worked up about - angry, upset - but I feel very little. A bit frustrated occasionally, a touch annoyed, tired.

Mainly I don't feel much anymore. It's good.


M in Oz

It's great that that works for you! As I have said before, I had tried and the specialised doctor recommending it didn't think it was worthwhile, to pursue with that nor another, hearing about it's effects on me. I think they work something like 12-35% of the time (other than placebo effect) which makes it worth trying, but also worth stopping if the side effects seem to be more impactful than the positive points.

It's great that in that area we can choose according to what works on our body/mind.
I gather that it can be vastly different from person to person.



I think my life is likely to be often stressful these next months and I need to find wells to manage with that. I've been scheduling less and less non-essential stuff to get through the present!

evie1958 wrote: »

Sue, I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is not well, sincerest wishes for a peaceful transition.
Tracey, I love the outfits! Definitely took me right back to the '70's, ah, that was a decade.... lol
Pip, looks like a lovely camping spot.
Lisa, nice to see you pop in!
Flea, thinking good thoughts for you.
Beth, sending you {{{HEALING}}} vibes. Nice that your pastor has acknowledged all that you did at the church! Unfortunate that it took you being disabled for him to realize all that you did do there!
Rita, sorry to hear of your co-worker's passing.

Having a quiet day today. Pulled a muscle in my back last week, have no idea how or when I did it, it just started being sore on Wed and I have just been putting up with it. It is starting to release and I have an app't with my chiro tomorrow (Tues), hopefully she will be able to straighten out any structural issues and the healing will continue.
Need to make an app't with my GP for a prescription renewal, earliest available phone app't is Oct 14!! I, and hubby will both be out of some meds, will have to get an emergency refill from the pharmacist. Fortunately they can do that here.
Recycling electronics etc, here in Canada, we pay a recycling fee when we buy any electronics, but we can recycle them pretty much anywhere! Many stores take them back, the Sally Ann accepts them and our local landfill transfer station also accepts anything with a cord. In the larger centres we can (and are encouraged to!) recycle plastics (eg milk jugs, yogurt containers), metal cans, and of course newspaper, mixed paper and cardboard. We also have a composting program that takes ALL food scraps as well as any paper that is contaminated with food residue. Can't do waxed paper tho, so I now use parchment paper or paper towels for most things that waxed paper used to do. I still have a bit of the waxed to use up, I will get thru it eventually! Between all of this, we don't have much going out in the garbage, so often put out just a small bag or wait for 3-4 weeks till the big bag is full. A few stores also accept clean plastic bags for recycling!
Eating has been off the rails, again. Too much feeling sorry for myself as my back is sore..... On the upside, the bed is getting more comfortable and even tho I only had about 6 hours sleep on Sat night, I felt pretty rested Sun morning! Will need hubby's help to turn the mattress today, then need to clean house.
Hugs for those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island