Body Shaming Sucks

evilokc · October 2021

my sister who has always been a little overweight commented on a shirt i was wearing. she said it looked like i was showing off because you could see my shape. it was a size large average (not tight) fitting tee shirt. i asked her why she thought that it was showing off. she said it was because men normally wear looser clothes to hide their belly. the fact that i didnt have a belly to hide came across as showing off. i think overweight people often strike out against anyone fitter than they are as a defense. its fine with me. if you are complimenting my physique in any context its a compliment. i dont care if you think abs mean anorexic. you saw my abs? thanks.

fatoldladyonamission · October 2021

I think weight loss is a really touchy subject for so many that now I just don’t discuss it at all, ever. Even if I get a comment about how I’ve lost weight I’ll just say thank you and leave it at that. I’ve found people soon lose interest when you tell them it isn’t a magic pill just calories in and calories out.

That said I can also remember being that fat lady who just wasn’t ready to do anything about it. At the time it just seemed like I was accepting what I saw as my lot in life and just plodding on as usual, without actually realising it didn’t have to be that way. At that point in time I would never have commented on anyone’s weight, including if they’d lost weight, because it seemed to me that they might not have noticed I was fat and commenting could make them see it. Ludicrous right? But I would always look to be around the people larger than I was. Sadly earlier this year one of my good friends who was larger than I was caught COVID and died of complications. Nobody says it of course but we all know that her weight didn’t help her. That was a bit of a wake up call for me, but it still took me another 6 months to get to the point where I was ready to do something about it. I, younger than she was, though less than 2 weeks after your 50th birthday is no age to die, but I was almost as large as her at well over 300lbs.

I think, when we’re on this journey we just have to be a little bit selfish and focus on ourselves and what we need to do to get where we want to be. Comments about looking sick will change as people start to adjust their perspective of us, we just have to wait for them to catch up. Good luck in your journey and well done getting so far.

TinaLeigh67 · October 2021

I had the same issue several years ago. I lost 30 pounds that I had put on over 15 years. My husband of the time told me I looked anorexic and couldn't understand why I would do that. I was a little concerned for a bit but I was 5'6" and 128 pounds. I was eating very healthy and exercising regularly. Healthy BMI and had finally lowered my cholesterol and other numbers that had risen. Then a few weeks later while I was working out, he made the comment that I should just be old, fat and happy like him and that I made him look bad. The real truth came out. I looked fine and at that time, I realized what others thought wasn't my problem. Now, like @fatoldladyonamission I just don't discuss anything weight related.

Body Shaming Sucks

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