Ignore my old post. Let’s talk (educatedly) about holiday food!
againwiththerelapsing
Posts: 24 Member
I see a lot of people on these forums say that they’re so nervous for the holidays, and they’re afraid they’ll gain weight from eating holiday meals. It reminds me of the old ED forums where the people would have full-on panic attacks about the holidays. It even reminds me of myself, terrified of being caught doing behaviors during Thanksgiving or Christmas, but also terrified of gaining weight. Frankly, it makes me sad for the people who prioritize losing weight over enjoying themselves on a holiday. I do understand that sometimes it’s very hard for people to lose weight, and that some people have been working very hard to maintain. But holidays are supposed to be a time where most of us can actually relax with our loved ones, and forget about the things that usually give us stress.
I’m sure that most people’s worry lies not within the food itself, but their own self control. And while I understand that, it’s hard for me to understand why letting yourself have a good amount of hearty food for maybe a few days is so terrifying. I believe that if we can tap into our Intuitive Eating, even if it’s just for the holiday, we can keep ourselves from going “overboard”. Too many people will eat until past the point of fullness because they have the mindset that this will be their only “special meal”, so they overeat. I believe we can makes things so much better if we just change that mindset to something more neutral, like: “This is a good meal. I’m going to enjoy it because it’s good, not because it’s “special” or “rare” for us.”
I am not in any way trying to shame anyone for being afraid to gain weight during the holidays. It’s a reasonable fear, but it can also be problematic for your psyche. Gaining a few pounds does not make you fat. Your body will not change from one meal. You will be okay. Those are things I can promise.
I hope everyone enjoys themselves this holiday season, and doesn’t let fear or stress hold you back from being happy!
I’m sure that most people’s worry lies not within the food itself, but their own self control. And while I understand that, it’s hard for me to understand why letting yourself have a good amount of hearty food for maybe a few days is so terrifying. I believe that if we can tap into our Intuitive Eating, even if it’s just for the holiday, we can keep ourselves from going “overboard”. Too many people will eat until past the point of fullness because they have the mindset that this will be their only “special meal”, so they overeat. I believe we can makes things so much better if we just change that mindset to something more neutral, like: “This is a good meal. I’m going to enjoy it because it’s good, not because it’s “special” or “rare” for us.”
I am not in any way trying to shame anyone for being afraid to gain weight during the holidays. It’s a reasonable fear, but it can also be problematic for your psyche. Gaining a few pounds does not make you fat. Your body will not change from one meal. You will be okay. Those are things I can promise.
I hope everyone enjoys themselves this holiday season, and doesn’t let fear or stress hold you back from being happy!
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Replies
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I have so many thoughts here...
Here's where I agree:
It's a good reminder that a day or two of gluttony isn't going to make or break anyone's long-term health. This, of course, goes with the caveat that you can get back on track the next day (or within a couple of days).
Ok, here are some of my other thoughts, based on my own experiences:
* For those of us that struggle with an unhealthy relationship with food, it's pretty common that our bad habits were formed by growing up with family members that have those same bad food habits. Being surrounded by people that do all the stuff you are really trying NOT to do can be stressful. Especially when the attitude is that they are right and you are wrong. "Eat something, you're too skinny. You've lost too much weight, you should see a doctor. What's wrong with you? Don't you like cookies?" (Yes, I've heard all of those comments and I am still in the overweight BMI category.)
* Holidays for my family are never one day or one meal. They involve family visiting from out of town for several days and each day is filled with food. Literally. I'm at a stage in this process where I have developed enough strategies to avoid most of my bad habits in this situation. For others on this board, this situation could be really torturous, and I wouldn't blame anyone for dreading it.
* As I said in your previous thread, my food intuition sucks. "Intuitive eating" isn't going to work for me. What works for me is accountability and planning. If I could eat intuitively, I wouldn't need MFP.
* It isn't about prioritizing losing weight over enjoying a holiday. It's about dreading being put in a situation that might trigger the same emotional issues that caused bad eating habits in the first place.
tl;dr: Family and food is complicated.
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dralicephd wrote: »tl;dr: Family and food is complicated.
I absolutely 100% agree. Our relationship with food is most heavily influenced by the people who raise us, same with the relationships with our bodies. Everything about the holidays is complicated for everyone, and I definitely needed to take that into account. While I still stand by my points of changing our “special meal” mindset, the fact that our bodies don’t change that easily (according to every dietician I’ve ever had… so like 4), and that holidays are a time to enjoy, I do agree with you wholeheartedly! Even if your family is exhausting, it’s important to cherish the time you spend with them (except for your racist uncle).1 -
icankickyourass wrote: »
Even if your family is exhausting, it’s important to cherish the time you spend with them (except for your racist uncle).dralicephd wrote: »tl;dr: Family and food is complicated.
Agreed. And... that's what the wine is for.
(I'm kidding... sort-of.. hahaha)
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I'm in a couple of unique situations.
1- I've been doing this so long, I simply don't stress about holidays, or vacations, or random days over. I know full well that any change on the scale is not permanent, given I don't start eating that way every day LOL I will make what I want, and eat what I want, and enjoy it.
2- I don't have a large extended family. So we don't have huge gatherings that last days upon days. I may have a couple of nibbles at my best friends house, but thats nothing unusual, really. And our holiday meals themselves... I have total control over. I make the traditional foods I always have, the same WAY I always have (no weird cauliflower masquerading as mashed potatoes, thank you very much), but its just me, my husband, son, and an old homesteader who we seem to be in charge of now (he has no one else). So, a nice dinner, for sure, but there wont be 2 weeks worth of leftovers, either. not even a week LOL maybe a weekend. maybe.
Family dynamics are weird, for sure. Like I said, I no longer have it, or have it to deal with, really. Growing up we did have a large extended family (all have passed or moved away for the most part now). And while there was always enough food to feed an army for days upon days, no one (myself included) had weight issues. But, we were all very active in various ways. Sitting around the house and watching TV was not something we did. like.... ever. One side of my family had a farm and I did a lot of work there, the other traveled extensively and I did that too, I was in band and theater at school and in the community, other family volunteered places or had other active jobs... no one was ever home or still for more than 5 minutes. It's how I got away with some much crap in high school... no one ever knew exactly where I was because I was always all over the place with so many activities LMAO
So... everyone... enjoy the day. Enjoy your crazy families while you have them to enjoy. One day, or even a couple, won't derail your progress 6 -
Also, similar to what I said in your other thread - you are presenting this as a false dichotomy
Enjoy yourself or eat heartily for a few days.
For many of us there is somewhere in between.
I certainly intend enjoying myself Christmas day and I certainly won't be meticulously counting calories
But I can enjoy myself with still some level of self control over my food intake
Just like, Obviously, people who enjoy themselves with medically neccesary food restrictions6 -
Yes, festive food is linked to mindset. Portion control is a major factor. So we have some things we don’t usually have. We’ll sort it again in the new year4
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“ it makes me sad for the people who prioritize losing weight over enjoying themselves on a holiday.”
But what if we don’t need to over indulge to have a good time?7 -
Safari_Gal_ wrote: »“ it makes me sad for the people who prioritize losing weight over enjoying themselves on a holiday.”
But what if we don’t need to over indulge to have a good time?
That is a very good point, but when I say that I'm not referencing overindulging or overeating. That's why I bring up the point of changing our mindset around the food so we can prevent ourselves from eating past the point of fullness! 1 -
We'll be on vacation during the Thanksgiving weekend. We have reservations for a fixed price limited choice dinner so overindulging isn't a concern.
I don't particularly like the traditional Turkey dinner so having the option to eat something different is ideal for me.2
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