Women 20s/30s/40s support group



  • steph2strong
    steph2strong Posts: 426 Member
    Hi Group. My name is Steph, I'm a long time member of MFP, but took a break from it all about a year and half ago. I am 37 years old, mom of 2 boys (3 & 6 years old), currently pregnant with baby #3 (gender not known yet). In my past life (i.e. before kids) I was a physician, but I left my career to be a SAHM. During that time I became a certified nutritionist, personal trainer and pre&postnatal coach which is much easier to fit around my kids lives. I'm living in the land of lockdown (Ontario, Canada), as of right now gyms, restaurants, etc are all closed (it's been over 2 years of this!), thankfully schools just reopened as of yesterday. Anyway, I'm back on MFP because this current pregnancy has flipped my diet upside down, I haven't been able to tolerate any of the foods I usually eat and lost a lot of weight first trimester. I'm figuring out my new food preferences (pre-pregnancy I ate a whole foods plant diet and this baby won't stand for that, it only wants meat). Also, bc we've been in continuous lockdown here and it's -20C outside I'm feeling quite socially isolated and miss talking to people... hence more online interactions. So that's me. Nice to meet you all.
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    I love all the great discussions we have going in our group! :smile:

    @MamaNessa228 welcome! You have been though so much - good for you for making this decision to put your health and well being first! Looking forward to hearing about your progress on this journey.

    @LaurenMargott that is awesome that you are taking advantage of this time and putting your health as first priority. Similarly, this is my "slow season" for work so I am taking advantage of having more time to devote towards my health. I'm making menu planning, meal logging, exercise and mindset work (really all the "basics") my priority. That's great that you're using your location to your advantage, too! And love that: "slower but more motivated"

    @samdner welcome! sure I'd love to share some swaps that work for me: plain greek yogurt for so many things (mayo, salad dressing, milk/cream/condensed soup in casseroles [make sure you temper it], I eat this as dessert too with honey and cinnamon), 93% lean beef or ground turkey or mushrooms for 80/20 ground beef, salsa or vinegar or make my own mix for salad dressing, cooking down frozen fruit without any sweeteners to top on yogurt or oatmeal or use in place of jam, and a big one is I just don't use oil anymore (examples: I water sauté rather than starting with olive oil and unsweetened applesauce instead of oil in some baked goods; I find many recipes taste the same or better without the oil). If you have a recipe you want help with some swap suggestions, feel free to message me! Also, another big thing that has helped me is that I'm eating to my target each day (I do not eat back my exercise calories). That is a big thing that helps me not feel deprived. I used to think that eating less was better but I've found that consistently allowing myself to eat all my budgeted calories is leading to consistent weight loss without the feeling of deprivation.

    @brisingr86 I agree completely about your take on rabbit holes and @samdner I think we have all been there. It's so easy to get distracted on the minutiae when really it comes down to the "basics" and consistency (months not days/weeks), in my opinion, if weight/fat loss is your focus. There are lots of tweaks we can and may want to make in maintenance but if weight loss is your primary goal then focusing on CICO, getting enough water/sleep, enjoying some form of movement, and working on your mindset is a great place to put your energy. Whatever you choose needs to be sustainable for you. "How you get there is how you'll stay there." This has helped me determine what are sustainable lifestyle changes for me. I don't think it is productive to get so far into a certain way of eating or exercise regiment that it is confusing, makes you doubt yourself, and becomes overwhelming to the point that it is not sustainable. Slow and steady with the basics has been my focus. Also, maybe try single tasking your goals. Maybe it's just eating your veg and in a deficit this week. Then adding a daily water goal next week. Then maybe you add a daily 30 min walk, etc.

    @brisingr86 it's been going great! One of the reasons I look forward to my exercise now is because I 'temptation bundle' with podcasts or shows that I want to watch/listen. I'm sure many of you do the same: I set aside the time to watch an episode and can only watch it while exercising. I have kept my exercise simple and enjoy daily walking (hiking when it's not winter and snowy), a simple dumbbell strength routine, and when I want something a little different I do one of Pahla B's YouTube workouts. I like that her workouts are short (20-25mins) and she often talks about mindset work during the workout (so it's a win-win!). I've written a bit more about Pahla B in another thread and one of the things I really like about her is the focus on basics and heavy focus on mindset. For me, I didn't really start making notable progress until I realized my mindset needed work. Affirmations/mantras (mantra is literally "mind-tool") have been really helpful for me. Use them whenever, especially if you habit bundle with something that is already in place like brushing your teeth. I started that way and now use them when I meditate which really brings my stress down in the middle of the work day; best use of 5 or 10 (or however many) minutes you can set aside! I like the app Insight Timer for meditation and if you want some ideas for mantras the app I AM is a good one to try (both free). I'd love to hear if you try using mantras and how it goes for you!

    Is anyone interested in a post of just the resources I've found helpful? I've mentioned some throughout my previous posts but would be happy to compile a few of my favorite podcasts, websites, apps, etc.

    Hope everyone is doing well!
  • samdner
    samdner Posts: 12 Member
    Thank you all, especially @brisingr86 and @makattack220 ! :) I feel much less worried that I'm gonna undermine all of my efforts by not paying attention to these small things. Your words really helped :)

  • Makielizabeth06
    Makielizabeth06 Posts: 4 Member
    Hi! Please add me as a friend, I could use any motivation and accountability. I'm going to start just by practicing logging in to this app daily and then actually start logging food. I have used MFP before, but it was some time ago and I became obsessed. This time I'm older, have kids and a generally busier life. I just am looking for balance. I need to lose about 75lbs to be in a healthy range- it seems daunting.
  • Hey all checking in. Not 100% under on my calories but heading in the right direction I think. Shopped last night for good diet friendly foods now I just have to find time to actually cook. 😅 Had a freezer meal that was good today but those get expensive. Starting out is hard, food is my favorite thing ever. I've got 20 pounds until my gw. I have maintained a decent amount of weight loss in the last year though so yay!
  • MrsHermit
    MrsHermit Posts: 195 Member
    My weight went down last week despite being ill and not exercising, but this week it looks like it's gone up a little. I have been keeping my calories in check though perhaps not at the lowest goal to lose 2 lbs per week. Just a little frustrated as I wanted to lose at least a lb this week but that's not looking like it's going to happen. Oh well, keep going.

    @brisingr86 Hi! Still packing and preparing to move. The move won't be for awhile but it gives us more time to pack and clean up our apartment. I know my back appreciates the slightly slower pace. I've been trying to log and keep my calories in check to continue losing weight. Most days I don't have the space to exercise because things and boxes are everywhere!
    I like this thread the way it is. I tend to forget about the groups; still getting used to the community side of MFP.

    @steph2strong @Makielizabeth06 Hello! I'm relatively new to MFP. It is helping me learn about nutrients, portions, and choices. You can do this - small changes, one day at a time!

    @Katebook309yahoocom940 Wow so close to your goal congrats! I hear ya on finding time to cook! After hours of packing the last thing I want to do is cook sometimes.
  • roz0810
    roz0810 Posts: 1,238 Member
    I've been well thank you for asking ❤️

    @samdner you do what works for you. back in 2012 I lost 50lbs in about 6 months with no exercise, just CICO. start where you want to
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    Hi ladies! I wanted to share why I've found daily weigh-ins and weekly measurements so helpful in my success with weight loss. I know there are many theories on how often to weigh in. I've found that, for me, if I do weekly (or less) weigh-ins I tend to lose focus on my progress and my consistency wanes. Daily weigh-ins can be difficult at first if you haven't done the mindset work.* However, if you see it as exposure therapy, educate yourself on the inevitability of weight/scale fluctuations**, and use other non-scale progress measurement tools eventually the daily weigh-in is just that: a daily datapoint. Daily weigh-ins are now part of my routine and help me stay focused, accountable, and consistent. I 100% understand the frustration/disappointment about weight fluctuations and I'm saying all this as a person who had to work very hard to get to this point (mentally/emotionally) where daily weigh-ins are a part of my morning routine and no longer hold the power to make or break my mindset for the day. It is so worth it to do this mindset work. I know now that I'll see a big spike the 2-3 days before menstruation. I know that if I ate a salty or carb-heavy meal the night before, I'll see a spike on the scale. Even just standing on the scale differently can change a couple tenths of a pound. Most importantly, I know that it's just one data point and I can look to my other non-scale progress measurements to see that I am making progress. I take weekly measurements and also monthly progress photos. I also use the free Happy Scale app which helps me see the trends and not the jagged lines when there are fluctuations. The measurements are especially helpful for me. Here are some NSVs in measurements: I've now lost 3.75" in my waist, 4.0" in my hips, and just in the last month I've lost 1.75" around my abdomen (at navel). My scale weight was up 0.5lb today but it didn't phase me, I anticipated a slight increase because of a few factors yesterday, and when I took my measurements afterward my continued progress was not only confirmed but even better than an I anticipated. I hope this helps encourage someone! Set yourself up for success: don't let that number control how you see yourself or your progress no matter how often you step on the scale.

    *Podcast on redefining progress & success around weighing in [go forward to 2:20 to skip intro info]
    *Podcast on mindset around weighing in, scale anxiety, fluctuation frustrations
    **Great article on scale fluctuations
  • samathes
    samathes Posts: 55 Member
    @steph2strong Congrats on finding that new normal with school opening! Life is certainly going to feel different. Hopefully it's an easy transition for you all!
    @makattack220 I am a daily weigher. Like you, I feel my diet gets derailed when I don't see the numbers or progress. It basically keeps me in line. I work out work Beachbody and do measurements in the beginning and the end of whatever program I'm doing.
    As for me, I've been steady with my tracking. It's become easier and more of a habit now. I'm still trying to get a hold on my trigger foods (Reese's) but otherwise, not a lot going on! Stay well!
  • renaegry
    renaegry Posts: 1,253 Member
    Morning all. Back again. Took a week off of everything while we had covid run thru the house. Today is get back on tracking and exercise. Will jump back into doing 21 day fix on Beachbody but on my own schedule so I can still try to get some treadmill in. Starting house Reno on Wednesday so my house is flipped upside down right now. Very cold again day -32C but then tomorrow forecast is for -1C. Crazy Saskatchewan weather. Hope everyone is doing well. Will try to go back a few days to get caught up on posts
  • MrsHermit
    MrsHermit Posts: 195 Member
    @makattack220 Good for you on your progress, and on what you've learned about yourself and what strategies work for you!
    @samathes Making something like tracking a habit is good progress.
    I will probably try to weigh daily soon once I start getting up on time (habit goal)
    @renaegry Take it slow on exercise while recovering! I'm exercising amongst the boxes too (we're moving)
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    @samathes well said! exactly: daily weigh-ins keep me on track. How's it going with the treat/trigger foods? One of my "treats" that I'm limiting while in weight loss mode is wine. Instead of having a glass of wine while cooking dinner (as per usual), I'm doing one day per week where I pre-plan and pre-log my dinner and wine/cocktails. It's a nice planned indulgence that is within budget and seems to work well for me. I was losing slow & steady before but as soon as I eliminated all alcohol 6 days/week, I saw a big uptick in my rate of weight loss.

    @renaegry Hope everyone is back to 100%! How's it going getting back on track? I was sick all last week (dragging myself just to get to my step goal) and it felt great to be able to do a more typical workout on Monday. I don't see exercise as essential to my weight loss but it has become a really important stress-buster/mood-booster for me. I missed that last week!

    @MrsHermit thank you! :smile: Doing the mindset work this time around seems to be making all the difference for me. How's the move going?

    @Makielizabeth06 are you feeling better? I hope you're back to 100% soon! Would love to hear how it's going with logging, etc this time around.

    Hope everyone has a great rest of the week and a nice weekend!
  • LaurenMargott
    LaurenMargott Posts: 24 Member
    Well done to everyone who is back on track after having COVID that cannot be easy to do @renaegry

    Wow the alcohol intake really makes a difference hey @makattack220 it's just those hidden calories.

    Exercise is my golden goose with my weightloss. I've just gone over halfway to my goal, I eat fairly well and always have, my portions are generally too big and I just don't have the energy or brain space to exercise with work and home life. But for 6 months I'm living in a new remote location, in a flexible job that allows to me to look after me how best works for me. I work out when it suits me, after lunch in the afternoon. I sleep when it suits me, I get up at 8am. I work when it suits me, in the morning then again in the afternoon, then again in the evening. And I eat when it suits me, lunch is 11am.

    It's allowed me to prioritise myself and my body and looking after it like I have been, it's amazing, I've developed a routine I've never had and so I'm losing weight. It really drives home just how restricted we are in our daily 8-5.30 work days with commutes etc to be able to afford food and a roof over our heads we really do often put ourselves last. Because unless you're the sort of person who thrives on that particular schedule, you have to fight it every day at least I know I do.

    12 weeks left before I'm back to reality, hopefully I can make the most of it.
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    edited January 2022
    @LaurenMargott that is awesome that you have found what works for you! That's great that the flexible schedule has led to such success. Congrats on surpassing the halfway mark! woohoo! :)

    Re: the alcohol, the calories were certainly empty (though never hidden as I always measured and logged everything carefully) but I suspect why it made such a difference has more to do with how alcohol is metabolized (all other macronutrient metabolism delayed; this article is tongue and cheek but also has peer-reviewed articles referenced, too) since it was just 6 oz red wine... It really is amazing how that one tweak made a huge difference for me!
  • Mvila0
    Mvila0 Posts: 12 Member
    Hey y'all. I'm 31. Down 18lbs. My "accountability" friend group has fallen off the wagon (if you can say that since they were never on it) and only talks about excuses for not losing weight. I get it. I have hypothyroidism and pcos. But I also just made bad decisions. And I'm struggling with the realization that women who have breakfast nachos that are 1k calories are not really trying trying to lose weight and aren't a great influence on me. It's one thing that they haven't lost any weight, but it's another that they're almost bragging about their food intake while I'm working hard to stick to doctor recommendations on calorie and sugar.
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    Welcome @Mvila0 :) congrats on your progress! We have a great group of supportive women here and glad you joined us! Since you mention wanting more accountability (I was looking for daily accountability myself), I just found/joined a group called Ultimate Accountability Challenge and they have a new group/challenge each month with daily logs for: 1) 20+ mins activity/exercise, 2) stay within your calorie budget, and 3) track everything you eat/drink. It's a very active group with many maintainers who moderate and post great encouragement!
  • Mvila0
    Mvila0 Posts: 12 Member
    Welcome @Mvila0 :) congrats on your progress! We have a great group of supportive women here and glad you joined us! Since you mention wanting more accountability (I was looking for daily accountability myself), I just found/joined a group called Ultimate Accountability Challenge and they have a new group/challenge each month with daily logs for: 1) 20+ mins activity/exercise, 2) stay within your calorie budget, and 3) track everything you eat/drink. It's a very active group with many maintainers who moderate and post great encouragement!

    I'm in physical therapy for a leg injury so I'm not exercising outside of that though. :(

    I don't need the calorie goal accountability as much as I'd love to have some folks who I can talk to when I want to stress binge.

    Thanks for the heads up though about the group!
  • makattack220
    makattack220 Posts: 219 Member
    @Mvila0 I wish you a speedy recovery! I had my own ankle injury this past July that took 3 full months to actually heal to the point that I could exercise "normally" again. Sounds like this group is a great fit for what you're looking for :) looking forward to hearing more from you!
  • MrsHermit
    MrsHermit Posts: 195 Member
    @makattack220 Still packing, preparing and planning. We are preparing early hoping to be ready to go once the roads clear and dry up (several more weeks to go before then). I want to approach moving day knowing what we packed will fit, and having most of the apartment stuff already done. Planning and working so as to avoid exhaustion. It will already be a long journey.

    @Mvila0 Hello!!

    @LaurenMargott Good for you in looking at how routine affects you. I think routine and exercise affects me in a similar way, kind of like making a good few steps/choices/habits in the morning sets a good outlook for the rest of the day.

    Still packing, trying to work on my habit goals, including shoving boxes and stuff out of the way for some exercise. No loss, slight gain. Still working at it.

    My habit goals for this year that I'm working on
    If streak is broken, start over (Saturdays are exempt)
    1) 6am up, Modeh Ani, 1 cup of tea, journal, do things 🌸
    2) don't eat until after exercise, exercise by 10am 🌸
    3)crafts after dinner
    4) dishes all done before bed 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
    5) take some notes on saved vids/bookmarks, turn off devices and read
    6) 8pm floss and wash face, can have tea
    7) in bed: pray, read, crochet 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
  • samathes
    samathes Posts: 55 Member
    Hello ladies!!! I hope you're all hanging in there with this winter drudgery. I do have to say that since losing weight, I have been consistently cold this winter! So... Very... Cold... I would take the opportunity in a heartbeat to move to warmer climates!
    I've been checking in daily but didn't do too hot over the weekend. It's ok though...I have my meals prepped for lunch this week and I've got a goal to stay on track!
    I would like to throw it out there that I have a great support group on my feed- most of whom are looking for accountability friends and a couple are from this group. I'm always looking for that extra support. We are cheerleaders!