WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2022

OregonMother wrote: »

Good morning.

Congratulations, Michelle.

Rebecca, I've been thinking about you and the transition you are facing with your son leaving. I know you are going to miss him!

Machka -- ahhh, summer.

Thinking about others, too, during your successes and struggles.

Family drama

So, I don't usually have a lot of family drama, but when I do, it almost always centers around my niece, whom I will be very relieved not to have to have a relationship with anymore, even though that means my mother has passed. Anyway, my mother's health has been bad for a while. She is really declining. They never find anything wrong, so she has been frustrated. She had an appointment at the doc about a month ago, and the doctor finally got to see how really bad she is feeling. My mom couldn't even sit during the whole appointment, she had to lie down. The doc ordered some tests, including an xray of her chest. That came back quite suspicious -- spots and haziness in both lungs, so the doc referred her to a pulmonologist. Appointment could be weeks away, said the doc, so don't get anxious unless you don't at least hear from them in two weeks. Within about a week, the pulmonologist's office called to tell my mom they were working on getting her an appointment, but it could be weeks away. No problem. The next morning they call and say come in next Tuesday morning -- like four days from when they called.

My niece was planning to take her, but then she fussed about it because of work, and I really wanted to be there, so I am taking off Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday to drive up there and take her to her appointment in Olympia. My niece was going to meet us there so that all three of us could hear what the pulmonologist thinks and recommends.

Then maybe Wednesday my mom says that my niece "has a cold" and if she's not feeling better, she won't be able to meet us at the Doc, but she's hopeful she'll be better by then.

Covid has been a sore topic with my niece. She eventually did get vaxxed, as did her daughter and live-in boyfriend, but they all delayed. My niece delayed so long that I don't think she's even eligible for the booster yet. They also have not been careful, as evidenced by the pictures she posts on Facebook. The lasted example, posted 6 days ago was of her in a group of about 20 people, shoulder to shoulder around a table, all unmasked, making soap. I rolled my eyes when I saw it, and just moved on.

This is getting too long, but I'm not even half done venting!! My husband ordered Covid tests for everyone to be delivered to their homes a couple weeks ago. My mother's was the last to arrive, and I think it arrived Thursday? My mom messaged me to say, "Don't be mad, but I gave my tests to <niece>." Not mad at all, just thankful that we had a couple rapid tests to give her because as those of you in the US know -- they are near impossible to get and it is taking days to schedule a test somewhere. My niece tests, and of course she is positive, with medium symptoms. Her daughter, 12, gets home from school, and they test her. Positive without symptoms. No third test available for the boyfriend to take, but figure the odds.

So she's not going with us to the doc, which is disappointing, but maybe also a little bit of a relief because them my mom and I can talk openly with the doctor. (My mother hadn't told my niece everything we suspect).

Then I remember that my niece's daughter spent the day with my mom on Monday because of MLK day -- no school. My mom had already remembered because she had messaged me, "You don't have to come up if you don't want to. We need to keep you safe." Which is true, I will be at my lowest level of white blood cells when I go up, according to the documents from Pfizer about the drugs I'm taking. But I really need to get her to the doctor.

I really wanted to unload on my niece but I just sent her a message saying she needs to let all of the soap people know that they've been exposed. She probably got it there, so she's probably not the only positive person, but it's the right thing to do. Her daughter needs to stay home from school, her boyfriend shouldn't go to work, she needs to contact the county health department, but I didn't say any of that because they won't do it and she'll just get pissy with me.

My husband found a rapid test to send to my mom, and she should get it by Sunday. I'll walk her through taking it, because it's a digital one and she doesn't even have a smart phone, but it's the only one we could get there quickly enough. I will just . . . I don't know what . . . if my mom has Covid and can't make her appointment. As it is, my husband and I aren't staying at her house when we drive up, and we will all need to be masked all the time because she will still be within the 10 day window of being near a verified Covid positive person. Thankfully my mom is vaxxed and boosted, but she's also 81 with obviously damaged lungs.

I hate my niece. There I said it. She is one of the most self-centered, self-absorbed people I've ever met. I mean really. Soap???? I hope it was worth it. I want her out of my life in the worst way. My mom and I were messaging about all of this while my husband and I were at dinner last night, and I was shaking so hard I could barely type. My mind was exploding, and my husband had to repeat anything he said two or three times because it was like he was an adult in Peanuts. It was all just wah wah wah wah. My main goal this whole pandemic has been keeping my mother safe. She goes no where, not just because of Covid but also because she is sick, and then my niece exposes her like this for the stupidest of all reasons. And now I need to go up there and walk into a potentially exposed environment when my immune system is at one of its weakest in the cycle. Just livid.

Flea, feeling a little better having got that out, but still frustrated.
Willamette Valley, OR