This has nothing to do with food, exercise, or nutrition

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  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Aside from the fact that I've lost 2 inches from my waist and 1 inch both from my thighs and hips (yay!), I thought I'd give an update to those interested:

    Barring an act of God, we are going to court on the 13th - unless of course my husband decides to settle. That is highly unlikely, however, because my lawyer isn't playing games anymore - she's going for broke as the saying goes (which leaves room for negotiation). Remember - this is not the FINAL divorce decree, this is merely for temporary support while we begin actual divorce negotiations.

    So please, those that pray keep this in your thoughts and prayers, and those that don't...just think good thoughts for me. I will spending my birthday in court - hopefully, I will have something to celebrate.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. :brokenheart: You've got a online-army of people who support you here. :flowerforyou:

    Be strong! :heart:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    I'm thinking of you, dear :flowerforyou:
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,944 Member
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    :heart: How brave you are to reach out for support. When my first husband left me I was so embarrassed that he had left that I didn't tell anyone for weeks. :brokenheart: What a fool I was. I could have had all the love and support that you've received from MFP.

    When my second husband left:brokenheart: , I reached out to friends and let them hold my hand. I took it one day at a time and reminded God that He was in charge of everything and that I would be looking for the lessons to be learned in the pain.:heart:

    I am a better person today because of the pain. Today I am married to my soulmate and we have a wonderful life.:bigsmile:


    More is hidden than is revealed. Be grateful for unknown blessings already on their way.:flowerforyou: :heart:
  • rosered51
    rosered51 Posts: 189
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    Well, here's to hoping ALL your birthday wishes come true!:drinker:

    I wish I could reach you and give you a great big hug, and maybe cry with you a little, then dry your eyes and take you out to get your mind off the "toad". Since can't do that, know that you will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers today and every day, but especially on the 13th.

    You will SURVIVE! You are strong, you are a fighter and you will ultimately be stronger for all that you have gone through and will go through to get this divorce. The fires of hell forge mighty strong steel.

    Just keep running to the Lord and He will be the one to hold and comfort you. He will never cheat, lie, turn His back on you or let you down.

    We will also be here to help lift you up when you have your down days. It's to be expected and we will shower you with love because you are wonderful and deserving of love...please remember that! YOU ARE A WONDERFUL WOMAN!:smooched:
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Rose - thank you so much! I am loving the support here. I've just been amazed with the people I've "met" and the support and love everyone's offered.

    Barbie - how awful for you to have faced that alone. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'd do without my family and friends - both online and in person.

    Lauryn and Shannon - thank you. :smile:
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    1Cor this is the first time I've seen this post - so sorry you are having to go thru this. Stay strong, be brave and continue to ask God for His guidance!
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Another update for those keeping themselves posted on the ups and downs of my divorce...or rather attempt to divorce. That would be more accurate.

    Apparently now, his lawyer is playing games. Though he said to my attorney in a previous email (she forwards me all their correspondence) that he would be available on the 13th for this motion hearing, he now suddenly, a week before, is no longer available until the 27th. That's another 2 weeks.

    My attorney is not playing his game and said that's unacceptible due to my financial situation. I have a friend who is also my financial adviser. She has put together former letters and spreadsheets showing what I make, what I pay each month, and what I should get from my husband. My attorney believes there's no way the court would NOT grant me anything. But we have to get there first.

    So I'm nervous. My boss took me for a walk and let me cry. She's wonderful. But I'm on the verge of tears. Glad to go to my friend's house for some wine tonight. To hell with my calories (though I do have it all worked in). I'm drinking tonight. I'll work it off tomorrow if I need to.
  • ttoombs
    ttoombs Posts: 220 Member
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    Hang in there sweetie. :flowerforyou: I'm on my third marriage, I lost my mom and sister within 6 months of each other, my daughter has Ulcerative Colitis (like Crohns), really sick all the time, even considering having her colon taken out, etc, etc. Life is all about learning, living, loving and making mistakes. You just have to try to see the good in all things. (I know that is hard to do). I love my 3rd husband :happy: , my first was an alcoholic:angry: , the second was an alcoholic and abusive :mad: . It was only when I started relying on God and my family that total happiness came. Remember you always have the support of the people here at MFP. Chin up, back straight, go forward. :smile:
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Well, I am relying on God. He's the only reason I'm somehow making it through this. I don't know how people do it without Him.
  • ttoombs
    ttoombs Posts: 220 Member
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    Your right on that. I wish I would have figured that out 20 years ago. :smile: But I finally learned to let go and let God do what He needs to do.
  • velvetwing
    velvetwing Posts: 142
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    I dont know you and this was my first time reading this post and I am just feeling your pain. I dont have words of wisdom and I really wish words could heal. I just wanted to tell you that you WILL get through this. You WILL survive. You ARE strong. When all of this is behind you, you will realize just how strong you are! I know. Ive been there too. My ex always told me I would crumble without him LOL. Wow.... what a difference time makes, and how utterly wrong he was. I am now 10 years out away from that and it did not take long for me to realize that I am doing great! I am now remarried and happier than I have ever been. I am truely loved the way I deserve. You are going to get through this no matter how difficult it seems at time. Put your trust in your lawyer and leave all that stress of yours with him. This is what they do. I still find myself getting wound up from the ex ( we have kids together that we still need to parent) I get very stressed at times because things never seem fair or they are one sided. This is when I ask God for help, patience, calm, everything just to get me through a moment. I always find peace even if it takes me some time to get through that moment, and you will too! Be strong, be calm, allow yourself to smile because you are beautiful and you will overcome all of this.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Well, I am relying on God. He's the only reason I'm somehow making it through this. I don't know how people do it without Him.

    I know I couldn't get along without Him. I can't say I know what you're going through because years ago when I got divorced, it was mutual. My husband and I had been separated for two years and we were living in different states. I'm praying for you though. Just hang in there. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    The latest -

    No court tomorrow anymore.

    Elizabeth (my lawyer) just called.  This is why she hates Prince William County.  It wasn't Nate or his lawyer - it was the country clerk .  The judge is being a jerk and now no longer available to hear the motion tomorrow. 
     
    Elizabeth's giving my husband's lawyer 3 options -
     
    1. Prince William Country Circuit court has time available on Tuesday.  We go then.
    2. My husband gives me $1000 now, and we'll go the first week of April, whenever Ron (husband's lawyer) can find it in his heartless...heart to grace us with his presence.
    3. We withdraw my petition for divorce and go to juvennile court.  This can be good - they use the sliding scale, so I'd get over 1k a month.  But the bad things is that I have to withdraw my petition for divorce and wait.  My husband could potentially make up a lie (as he all ready has by telling people he only cheated because I cheated first) and petition for divorce on his own.  And it could drag out - more attorney's fees because we'd have to go from juvennile court to circuit court etc.  And it would be a longer divorce.
     
    She'll keep my posted.  Hopefully Ron will not take too long to get back to her. 
  • Losing_It
    Losing_It Posts: 3,271 Member
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    Hopefully things will get settled for you soon!!:heart::flowerforyou:
  • kleimola
    kleimola Posts: 210 Member
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    I am crying just reading your story! I am so sorry you are going through this. Just know that now you are open for the one who will treat you like a queen and love you more than anything because that is what you deserve. Hang in there!
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    I am crying just reading your story! I am so sorry you are going through this. Just know that now you are open for the one who will treat you like a queen and love you more than anything because that is what you deserve. Hang in there!

    It's just so frustrating. Emotionally...I'm a wreck! I need to grive for our lost relationship. I need time to be angry with him for what he did to me and to cry because I miss him...but I have to worry about paying my bills and going to testify in court (which by the way when we finally get there...I have to get on the stand! How terrifying is that?), I have to worry about lawyer fees and court fees. I have to change my schedule around every week it seems to bend to the wills of the stupid legal system or my husband's arrogant, unprepared lawyer. I just wish I could curl up in a ball until this is all over.
  • kleimola
    kleimola Posts: 210 Member
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    I am crying just reading your story! I am so sorry you are going through this. Just know that now you are open for the one who will treat you like a queen and love you more than anything because that is what you deserve. Hang in there!

    It's just so frustrating. Emotionally...I'm a wreck! I need to grive for our lost relationship. I need time to be angry with him for what he did to me and to cry because I miss him...but I have to worry about paying my bills and going to testify in court (which by the way when we finally get there...I have to get on the stand! How terrifying is that?), I have to worry about lawyer fees and court fees. I have to change my schedule around every week it seems to bend to the wills of the stupid legal system or my husband's arrogant, unprepared lawyer. I just wish I could curl up in a ball until this is all over.
    You do know it is okay to feel the way you do? If you didn't, one would wonder if you were normal. When my parents divorced my mother told me that it felt like someone had died. In a sense they did, their relationship died. Both are remarried now. It is a shame that your ex is so selfish to put you through this. I will keep you in my prayers that God will comfort you, give you a place to cry when you need to and help you up when you fall down. He will do that!
  • singfree
    singfree Posts: 1,591 Member
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    May God comfort you now and always.
  • velvetwing
    velvetwing Posts: 142
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    It's just so frustrating. Emotionally...I'm a wreck! I need to grive for our lost relationship. I need time to be angry with him for what he did to me and to cry because I miss him...but I have to worry about paying my bills and going to testify in court (which by the way when we finally get there...I have to get on the stand! How terrifying is that?), I have to worry about lawyer fees and court fees. I have to change my schedule around every week it seems to bend to the wills of the stupid legal system or my husband's arrogant, unprepared lawyer. I just wish I could curl up in a ball until this is all over.
    [/quote]


    Hold your head up high. I know its tough and I know its scarry to think you will be on the stand, but once you are there its not so bad. Getting there and the anticipation is the worst. Just stay calm, state the facts, and focus on your laywer.... he will be able to keep you focused and calm. You will be glad when its over and tell yourself it wasnt as bad as you imagined it would be. Been there, done that. You are going to be just fine :happy: and stronger in the end. Dont curl up in that ball.... head held high no matter how difficult. You are stronger than you think

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