WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2022
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Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate in whatever way you choose. We had family here today and celebrated both Thanksgiving and Christmas as none of them will be able to be here for Christmas. DD and I will celebrate quietly on our own then. One thing I got today was a mystery puzzle so that should keep us occupied at that time. Everyone helped out and we had a lovely meal and good time spent together.
Wecome to the newbies. Keep coming back.
My first cookbook was Betty Crocker Cooking For Two. It was a wedding present and I used it a lot.
I am definitely an introvert. I can do people for a while but need time alone to recharge. D H never understood that.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA4 -
So much I wanted to comment on, but if I had taken the time to write notes I wouldn’t be able to get caught up and I fear I may get behind tomorrow and Saturday.
My youngest daughter and granddaughter are arriving tomorrow to help me decorate for Christmas. It is a sleepover night (or two) and we have a lot of fun.
Where I am from in NB every young bride gets the Barbour’s cookbook. It is a collection of old recipes except for some cookies and cakes I don’t think I’ve cooked anything in it.
If I ask any older cousins or my MIL for a recipe. I get, “it’s in your Barbour’s book”.
Barbie - I will have to find that photo, it’s one of my favourite photos of my brother and I.
Kelly - I’m excited to hear what you have planned for the children.
Michele - I’m with Jess I just cook as I need it, I don’t prepare anything ahead of time unless it’s a lasagna, meatballs or a casserole type thing. Even then I do everything but the final bake or cook on the day.
Tomorrow I am making meatballs and throwing them in the slow cooker for supper.
Annie and Rebecca - I’m so happy you enjoyed your outings.
I had to go rescue a friends Mom tonight, she was stuck at Walmart and couldn’t get a cab home. Her daughter’s husband was offered a job in NS just a few short months after she went into a home. I feel bad for her she has no family around.
It’s late so I’m heading to bed. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »
Lol it was sitting in my text now still. I don’t know why MFP does that sometimes.
It saves a draft for you. Often happens with long posts or posts we take our time with so we don't accidentally lose those posts.
If you look in the right sidebar, in the same area where you can see the Groups link, you'll see a Drafts link. You can click on it and delete any drafts you no longer want.
M in Oz0 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »
Lol it was sitting in my text now still. I don’t know why MFP does that sometimes.
It saves a draft for you. Often happens with long posts or posts we take our time with so we don't accidentally lose those posts.
If you look in the right sidebar, in the same area where you can see the Groups link, you'll see a Drafts link. You can click on it and delete any drafts you no longer want.
M in Oz
Machka in Oz0 -
30 Days of Gratitude
1. Smell - freshly cut grass on our lawn.
2. Technology - the amazing advancements in medical technology.
3. Colour - blue. Beautiful blue sky peaking through the clouds.
4. Food - soup. That's what I've been eating just recently because there's less chewing. We always keep a few cans of soup on hand for situations like these.
5. Sound - my music. I've recently acquired a number of nature sounds CDs with music playing along with sounds of ocean waves, birds, and so on. Lovely.
6. Nature - I love nature. It would be incredibly difficult for me to pick just one thing. I am so grateful that there is nature and that I can enjoy it.
7. Memory - Winter 2017. The last time I visited my parents and a wonderful 1-month holiday to Canada that June/July. My husband and I did two cycling events and a lot of other cycling. We climbed mountains and explored a glacier. We visited friends and family.
Memories:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/albums/72157682899188730
8. Book - Norman Doidge's The Brain's Way of Healing. I found it inspirational!
https://www.normandoidge.com/?page_id=1042
9. Place - home. I've moved and travelled a lot and home is wherever I happen to feel really comfortable. Right now, home is a certain house here in Tasmania where I can go and just be myself (mostly, for even a little while). Home is where I can lie down on the sofa and doze off when I've had a rough day, like I did yesterday.
10. Taste - salt. My favourite taste.
On the one hand I need salt because of my exercise and medications, on the other hand I need to reduce my salt because of my kidneys. But given the choice, I'll usually go salty over sweet ... or maybe salty and sweet!
11. Holiday - Christmas!!!!
12. Texture - smoothness. I like smooth clothes, smooth sheets, Rhody's smooth fur ...
13. Abilities - I don't really think of myself in terms of having abilities. I've sort of thought of myself as "the jack of all trades, master of none". However, organisation is one that I've been thankful for throughout my life.
14. Sight - the beauty all around. In our yard, where we go cycling, where I work, and travelling around this island.
15. Season - I like the seasons in the following order from best to worst: Summer, Autumn ............ Spring ................... Winter.
16. What about your body are you grateful for? Healing ... that it heals. Mostly anyway, and perhaps imperfectly, but healing does take place.
17. What knowledge are you grateful for? Everything I do know. It all contributes to my work, my carer role, and my other activities.
18. Piece of art - of the arts, I think the two I appreciate the most are literature and music. On the subject of music, I have really appreciated discovering ABC Classic FM on the radio and the app on my phone. I pop in my earbuds at work and I can focus on my work while feeling relatively relaxed at the same time.
19. Touch - Rhody's fur, his little wet nose, his whiskers
20. Who in my life - my husband. I'm glad he is still in my life. My parents who have always been supportive.
21. Song - He Is -- Mark Schultz. One of several songs that has been with me through the difficult times.
22. Story - I'm grateful that there are so many stories! I love reading. It provides me with a much-needed distraction.
23. Tradition - I like the little traditions of Christmas.
24. Challenge - all the long distance cycling I've done over the years!
25. What moment this week are you most grateful for? Now. The start of a 3-day weekend! I'm taking Monday off.
It has been a long and busy week!
Machka in Oz
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As we get closer to the end of November, and the end of the Gratitude list, have a look at what you posted the last time we did this in 2018 - 4 years ago. Or maybe you want to wait till the end of the month to have a look.
What's the same? What has changed?
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10704529/women-ages-50-for-november-2018/p75
Machka in Oz0 -
Allie-sorry you are having health issues right now.
Pip-I keep forgetting to tell you-I find the way you take care of your animals is outstanding. I really wish more parents/families took the same care with their human children and each other.
Machka-I had not noticed the My drafts-I use the save function but didn't see I had a folder. Thanks!
Had peaceful Thanksgiving. Talked to SIL and family in AZ. Text from DIL here (her husband was working all day). Got some work work done, some house work done, went for a nice walk. Ordered matching earrings for me and DILs for Christmas (Macy's had decent sale). Also ordered cardigans to give DIL Mother and Aunt-will see them Christmas Day this year. Made Cranberry Jello to take with me and the two ingredient pumpkin mini muffins.
Plan for today is another hour or so of budget work, tidy up house. Picking son up at airport around 2:30 so will head out around 1. Will be back Sunday morning early after I drop him at airport so will stop and do grocery shopping when I get back in town before going home. While today and tomorrow will just be family-I will be ready for quiet on Sunday!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
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We had to get organised early for the girls' arrival at 8 am. I managed to get my face on! We showed them all the art and watercolour stuff, so it looks like Edie will be getting a set for Christmas.
So hard to get them into shoes etc for school and we were so late getting to school that we had to take them via the office and sign them in on the computer with an excuse. "Come from Granny's house" . I said we should put "Very old" on there.
The walk back was tiring and my hips hurt, it's around 3 miles there and back, but we picked up my formal dress and DH'S formal shirt from the dry cleaners and were able to pop in to the local supermarket. So all good.
My son and DDIL were choosing flooring for their renovation.
Glad so many of you had a good Thanksgiving, especially those who went out of their comfort zone. Well done !
Love Heather UK xxxxxx5 -
Barbara, I just gave my Laurel's Kitchen to a Buy Nothing friend recently. Well-loved & dog-eared.
...you are going to LOVE your Roomba. We had a refurbished one and used it until it died. We got a new one a year ago. It's dandy. I predict that Joe will fall in love with your Roomba. We named ours Hazel, after the woman that used to come to my childhood home & work with Mom to get the house clean, ironing done, etc.
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Our plans for Thanksgiving changed due to a sick LillyBelle. We delivered a large box of pre-ordered Thanksgiving meal to them, and took our share home to share with my brother while watching the dog show. Good day.
Today is Flood the Streets With Art Black Friday and Buy Nothing Black Friday. My brother and I will work together to participate in both events, then we'll scoop up my spouse and all go over to my son's house for chili. I'll take some of our leftover desserts to share.
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A bit of a rant/gut spill ahead about my spouse so feel free to skip if desired:I am becoming irritable and short with my spouse. I need to cultivate tolerance and patience. I'm pi$$ed because this isn't what I signed up for. LOL did I really think I had control over that? Talk about magical thinking.
I'm finding it difficult to deal with whatever it is that's wrong with her. Her short-term memory is poor and getting poorer.
Wednesday I went to my brother's apartment to work on a few more "moving in" tasks with him, then we went to pick up some frames I purchased cheap on auction for his artwork, then home to ostensibly pick up my spouse to pick up Thanksgiving food & store it in the empty refrigerator at our new senior apartment, and also for my spouse to meet with her trainer for an orientation meeting in the senior apartment gymnasium. We had discussed this very specifically twice - I told her I would be home 11:30-11:45am to pick her up, and she was fully on board - but when I got home she was in bed taking a nap. We waited for her to get herself ready, and when it was taking a little longer than I hoped, I went to see if I could help. I reminded her that we had to pick up the Thanksgiving meal at 12:15 so we needed to go ahead and get ready and leave. She gave me her patient "you-didn't-tell-me-that" look so I gave her my questioning look and she said she thinks I sometimes believe I have told her things that I really haven't. Instead of feeling and being kind, I felt and conveyed irritation ...sigh... a diagnosis would be helpful, but so far none is forthcoming from her neurologist.
Love,
Karen in Virginia9 -
Karen - That is so hard. You know in your head that she can't help it and she has damage to her short term memory, but it is perfectly natural and normal to feel irritation. It is not what we want and need in an intimate partner. Big hugs. It's what I dread happening to us. I have no patience and I feel I could not cope with it. Maybe I could, but I doubt it.
Caring is so hard. Hats off to those who do it. I send you lots of ❤️ 😍 💖.
I have no answers because each person has to consider their own situation and character. And our limits.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx5 -
Allie-sorry you are having health issues right now.
Pip-I keep forgetting to tell you-I find the way you take care of your animals is outstanding. I really wish more parents/families took the same care with their human children and each other.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
lol Pip doesn't have animals. just children
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Karen - That is so hard. You know in your head that she can't help it and she has damage to her short term memory, but it is perfectly natural and normal to feel irritation. It is not what we want and need in an intimate partner. Big hugs. It's what I dread happening to us. I have no patience and I feel I could not cope with it. Maybe I could, but I doubt it.
Caring is so hard. Hats off to those who do it. I send you lots of ❤️ 😍 💖.
I have no answers because each person has to consider their own situation and character. And our limits.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx
Thank you, Heather, I hope you NEVER EVER have to deal with it - I can see a long road ahead for us. At least we are in a continuing care retirement community (CCRC) so she will have assisted living, memory care, etc available without a big kerfuffle when needed. The problem with these places, at least in the USA, is that if you wait until you really need them, you don't meet their qualification standards. They want you to move in while still able to live independently.
If not for my spouse starting the search 10 years ago and persisting & insisting on talking about it, dragging me along to look at communities, prompting me to pay the fees to get on waiting lists, etc., we would be in a difficult position right now, because I didn't (and don't) want to live in a CCRC at all - ever.
In the end, it was a grown-up decision on my part, after much effort on my spouse's part, taking into consideration our inability to predict the future and our desire to spare our children the responsibility of our future disposition (as much as possible).
So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for that prescient spouse I once had.
Among many other blessings.
Karen in Virginia5 -
BIG HUGS Karen.
Love you, ❤️ Heather UK xxxxxx2 -
Karen yes it is very hard to live with a memory challenged person. My mom has it in her mind that she can get dressed and ready to go in fifteen minutes but reality is more like thirty-five. So she waits until fifteen minutes before we need to leave, and she is late time and time again. But she doesn't believe me when I urge her to give herself more time. I either need to be more of a pest or give her an earlier deadline. The time will come when I need to outright lie to her, but then all trust will fade so I really avoid that.
Good luck to you, and know that we understand your frustrations. It might help to think of this as a phase she goes through. It's like raising a baby in reverse, the challenges are different with every stage.
Annie in Delaware
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KetoneKaren wrote: »A bit of a rant/gut spill ahead about my spouse so feel free to skip if desired:I am becoming irritable and short with my spouse. I need to cultivate tolerance and patience. I'm pi$$ed because this isn't what I signed up for. LOL did I really think I had control over that? Talk about magical thinking.
I'm finding it difficult to deal with whatever it is that's wrong with her. Her short-term memory is poor and getting poorer.
Wednesday I went to my brother's apartment to work on a few more "moving in" tasks with him, then we went to pick up some frames I purchased cheap on auction for his artwork, then home to ostensibly pick up my spouse to pick up Thanksgiving food & store it in the empty refrigerator at our new senior apartment, and also for my spouse to meet with her trainer for an orientation meeting in the senior apartment gymnasium. We had discussed this very specifically twice - I told her I would be home 11:30-11:45am to pick her up, and she was fully on board - but when I got home she was in bed taking a nap. We waited for her to get herself ready, and when it was taking a little longer than I hoped, I went to see if I could help. I reminded her that we had to pick up the Thanksgiving meal at 12:15 so we needed to go ahead and get ready and leave. She gave me her patient "you-didn't-tell-me-that" look so I gave her my questioning look and she said she thinks I sometimes believe I have told her things that I really haven't. Instead of feeling and being kind, I felt and conveyed irritation ...sigh... a diagnosis would be helpful, but so far none is forthcoming from her neurologist.
Love,
Karen in Virginia
That's the sort of thing I've been dealing with for the past nearly 5 years.
We were fit and healthy and active and doing whatever we wanted to do ... and all at once it ended. I've mentioned before that I am not a natural carer. I never wanted to be a carer and don't enjoy being a carer. But here we are.
And it seems there's no one who comes along and says, "Here are some instructions for what you will need to do". We've each got to figure it out on our own.
That said, I do have some tips for dealing with short-term memory loss.Google Calendar - I have access to both my and my husband's Google Calendar so I put all our appointments and activities there with email reminders. Both he and I get emails to remind us of what's happening.
Whiteboard Calendar - I have a reasonably sized whiteboard calendar which is in the kitchen in a prominent location. I have the basic things written there. The details are in the Google Calendar but I'll have "Dr Appt", "Cycling Event", etc. on the whiteboard calendar. Also, I not only write on the calendar, I'll show him the calendar and make sure he has a good look at it, and we'll talk about certain things.
Whiteboard - on the fridge I have a smaller whiteboard with magnets on one side to hold it to the fridge. Sometimes I'll write a reminder about something on there. Right now, I've got the name of a plant in our garden written there because my husband always forgets the name. Seeing it and hearing it helps. But sometimes I'll make a note about catching a bus or whatever.
Email - my husband and I had a long-distance relationship for quite a while when we first met and got married so we got used to emailing each other. Now it's natural for us to email each other a time or two throughout the day, and I often use my email for little reminders.
Phone - I've got my phone set up so that an alarm goes off every evening to remind him to take his medication. I can set my phone up to have several alarms, so I've got set up for work wake up time, and holiday/weekend wake up time, and sometimes other things.
Webster Pack - both of us keep our medications in webster packs so that we know what to take and what we have taken.
Posters - I've got posters hanging around the place for various "health and safety" reminders. At least one has a reminder of what to take with us when we leave the house. I need to update these ... one of many things on my list of things to do.
Check Lists - if we're going to be travelling away for a weekend, or if we have a cycling event we're organising, or if we're going for a hike or something somewhat out of the ordinary, I will make a checklist of all the things we need to do which I will share with him. I might do most of the things, but it keeps him in the loop and he'll go through the list and ask me if I've done this and that. I'll often give him certain jobs on that list that I know he can do and likes doing.
I also know that my husband has cycles. He's pretty good in the morning, but by midday, he's tired and will likely need a nap. That's also when he'll struggle with his memory, words, etc. I rarely plan anything for early afternoon because it probably won't be enjoyable for either of us. Occasionally I can get away with it, but not often. Later in the afternoon, he'll feel better again and we can go for a bicycle ride or something.
If we are doing something where it won't be possible for him to nap (like what will happen this coming Sunday) I have to ensure that he is hydrated, fed, and has calm, stress-free times during the day - times when he can relax a bit. I've also taken Monday off so that we can both have a relaxing day on Monday so I've bookended the busy stressful day (Sunday) with a relaxing Saturday and relaxing Monday.
Probably within a couple years, I think we'll have to be in a place on a level lot with less outdoor work - a 55+ or similar community. That may be our next move. And then I'll start looking for places that offer more care.
Machka in Oz
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Anniesquats100 wrote: »Karen yes it is very hard to live with a memory challenged person. My mom has it in her mind that she can get dressed and ready to go in fifteen minutes but reality is more like thirty-five. So she waits until fifteen minutes before we need to leave, and she is late time and time again. But she doesn't believe me when I urge her to give herself more time. I either need to be more of a pest or give her an earlier deadline. The time will come when I need to outright lie to her, but then all trust will fade so I really avoid that.
Good luck to you, and know that we understand your frustrations. It might help to think of this as a phase she goes through. It's like raising a baby in reverse, the challenges are different with every stage.
Annie in Delaware
If you know you have to leave home at 2 pm to be at an appointment by 2:30 pm, can you tell your mother that you need to leave home at 1:30? Would she notice? I often do that ... shuffle the times a bit.
M in Oz1 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »BIG HUGS Karen.
Love you, ❤️ Heather UK xxxxxx
Karen - Ditto, big hugs and much love from rainy Arkansas... makes you wonder what drove her then to push the issue. Premonition?
Heather - Love the watercolors! Trying to resist the urge to buy another set and play...
Allie - Hope today's a better day on the physical side of things, sounds like you and Doris are enjoying yourselves...
Successfully resisted the urge to jump back into the Facebook swim... When I departed the electronic environs, Corey stepped up where his family was concerned and kept those lines of communication open. Last night, no joke, his phone pinged a hundred times (it's a BIG family), and I realized once again why I still don't want that back in my life. Those who love me have my phone number and can text me directly. Other than that, I'm still OK with playing quietly over here in my corner...
Cor's headed for work this morning - the only time he can get the oil changes done on most of the trucks is when the guys aren't working, so it's a good day to get caught up.
Gratitudes:
24. What challenge are you most grateful for? I can't find it in myself yet to be grateful for the current challenges... I would like to, but I'm just not that saint-like. Yet, anyway
. It has been a life full of challenges, and I've succeeded and failed in equal measure, I think. So I guess the answer is "all of them."
25. What moment this week? All of them.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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DH is in a care facility and I get to see him several times a week thanks to our daughter. Last evening she took me to a family event and I enjoyed it very much. I hope to see DH soon. I plan to call him for a chat later this morning.3
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Happy Day after Thanksgiving!
I really enjoyed reading about everyone's Thanksgiving. Sometimes these holiday get togethers are the best, sometimes they aren't. The ups and downs of life.
On introverts & extroverts: Machka,thank you for your list and that's me too.
I get an email from "Introvert Dear" every Friday morning and this came in today's feed.
I would add that for me, a sure way for an extrovert to injure a relationship with an introvert is to not honor their desire for solitude by attempting to lay a guilt trip on them: Example: "So if you don't want to walk with me today, then I guess you don't want to walk with me anymore?" I interpret that as "so you don't like me anymore?" Introverts like me aren't good at dealing with relationships based on feelings and what we interpret as manipulation, whether that's how the extrovert meant it or not.
Also, by not accepting the introvert's communication style. I usually want to get my news via email, message or text. Not the phone, not in person most of the time - a lunch is nice but that usually fills my need for a month. So when I ask "how are you doing/how was your doctor visit?" out of genuine concern and I get a response, "I'll tell you the next time I see you," just maybe the next time won't happen.
https://introvertdear.com/news/extroverted-behaviors-that-annoy-introverts/
Debbie - happy you were able to get into the dentist quickly. Ouch! I've tripped over uneven sidewalks before and my knees always took the brunt. And didn't seem any worse for it. Not sure how they'd do now.
Rebecca - so glad you had a good time with your new friends. That train game looks like fun!
Karen (((HUGS))) If I still had any firewood to stack or kindling to chop, you'd be welcome to hop on a plane and come help. It's something how far and with what force a person can toss a piece of firewood when necessary for mental health reasons. And swing that hatchet. The woodshed is attached to the back of DH's shop and I'm amazed at how strong it was and despite my adrenaline, that firewood never did punch a hole in that wall. One time a plastic bucket got demolished but I felt so much better. I decided I didn't give a rip what the neighbors thought as they had to have heard the racket and wondered what was going on.
I'm grateful at how peaceful my life is now. And how going through this caregiver stuff has opened my heart. And how forgiving DH and myself has become easier. It has for me anyhow. Maybe that's why I had to go through it.
Dr. Rangan Chatterjee.I think you ladies have mentioned him before? I've just started reading his book "Feel Better in 5". I ran across him on YouTube where he has his own channel. He interviews folks who are experts in the health field. You UK ladies are probably familiar with him.
Here's an interview where he explains his "Feel Better in 5" plan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUPGDThiRM0
On intermittent fasting and weight gain:I've been gaining weight during the past couple weeks, I'm pretty sure it's because I'm eating an early breakfast, then lunch and dinner and loading up on sweets before I'm going to bed- which likely are triggering the early morning hunger and the cycle repeats. 3 meals a day and several snacks.
I had been on a loose 16:8 IF protocol... first meal around 10:00 am, then 2nd meal at 2:30 or 3, finishing all eating by 6 pm. Even with eating some late in the day sweets, ignoring those 5 am hunger pangs and not giving in until late morning kept my weight in check - and even with no deliberate calorie or carb restriction.
Time to get my self back on the 16:8. Shouldn't be hard today since I should have plenty of energy stored up from the Thanksgiving meal yesterday. Who knew that squash casserole with brown sugar and pecan topping was a thing and so addictive, and the third helping was as yummy as the first?
OK enough rambling. Need to get busy today. Big chill coming next week starting Tuesday, lows in the 20's and highs in the 30's. Need to make sure the faucets are covered, firewood drying. Big grocery trip planned for Sunday to stock up for 10 days or more. Milk, eggs, and long-lasting salad greens are the only things I really need.
Make it a super day, ladies.
Lanette
SW WA State
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Our daughter’s chest freezer died. DH is hoping to replace it with an upright. Keeping my fingers crossed for a good outcome. 2
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