LESS Alcohol ~ JANUARY 2023 ~ One Day At A Time

globalhiker · January 2023

Happy Friday! AF last night and that's the goal today.

Every quarter we do a form of "Swedish Death Cleaning". Anything not used in 5 years, goes to Goodwill. Books we no longer want go to the Used Book Store. Whatever the "kids" want, they take. Documents get purged. Expired food trashed.

I love the feeling of a clean, de-cluttered house.

On another topic - the toxic workplace - I got out of my last role some years back because of a toxic client VP who I think was on too high of an estrogen dose or something because she was on that and very crazy with everyone. HR doesn't help in most cases unless the toxic person is violent, etc. And of course my next job came with it's own set of great people with that one toxic person too. But it's a better situation and I am glad I took a risk. I now have been control and a choice of which clients I prefer to work with, and I pick the nicer ones and I only meet with the trouble clients at the right time of day when they are least stressed and in a happier mood.

Totally believe that if one can't fix the toxic situation or "work around it", leaving is the best thing we can do for our physical and mental health.

RubyRed427 · January 2023

MissMay wrote: »

Last Friday of January

How are your goals adding up?

What will you do in February?

Plan ahead.

If you are looking forward to February 1st to get back to old drinking habits you avoided in January, be careful.

Your alcohol tolerance has probably dropped and the first drink(or two) could knock you on your backside pretty quick.

😉

What I found happened when I went back to drinking after a month of sobriety or 9 months even.... the first few times, I was like "wow I am normal again." And I kept it to two drinks. And then I went right back to my old ways. That's my experience- everyone is different.

It may be possible to reset and then be more mindful. It just takes effort and planning.

dawnbgethealthy · January 2023

I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
Last month I had 18AF days

I do this diary style to keep track, and post the next morning

Wednesday January 25 - AF - A very long and late day between my 2 jobs. I really felt like having a couple of drinks (maybe I feel like that every day) but used willpower. Thursday night (tonight) I am going to some friends' house for Indian/Indonesian dinner. He (making Dosa) will want to have a couple of drinks, she (Indonesian muslim) doesn't like him to have any alcohol at all, so having company is his chance to have a couple. Pretty sure that I will be able to stay AF although I think that there will be a bit of pressure. Kind of saving up drink days for the weekend now, I will have a very late Friday night after my restaurant job on a reset with my other job, Foster Grant. Already thinking of sinking into the tub after that with my TV rolled up close, watch some HGTV and have some prosecco or something.
Thursday January 26 - AF - Getting close to my 16, might not hit it until Sunday.

Rolling total: 15AF days out of 26 days

forestdweller1 · January 2023

Hmmmm....Counting blessings...At 76 I'm not dealing with cognitive issues, Catpuccino has not yet managed to trip me down a staircase [not for lack of trying] , and my antiques are actually worth something.
But. There. Are. Things.
In case of my sudden departure, do I want my children to have to wade thru drawers and boxes of material that are important only to me ??
H3ll no !! Just call the auctioneer and divide up the $$.

Sure would like to have a few glasses of wine to assist me in beginning my personal version of Swedish Death Cleaning. Still, just no. The Thursday trash guys are gonna be busy for a while.

So much helpful info and advice on this site !! Thanks, y'all.

joans1976 · January 2023

I love the Swedish Death Cleaning article! I can forward it to my dad but he'll just deny he has a problem. I am constantly on the lookout for a tendency to hoard in myself. I used to hoard books, I got through that. I live in a 1,100 square foot apartment so not a ton of space but enough for me. I have one atrocious office closet, a jam packed office desk drawer, a hideous Tupperware cupboard that I have tried to purge a million times and a junk drawer in the kitchen. Everything else is sorted and clean. There may or may not be a cat toy every 6 inches on the floor. But....Roger and Kramer.

mfowler883 · January 2023

I tend to collect things, maybe even accumulate things; I try not to hoard. I go through some parts of the stuff from time to time and try to figure out what I'm holding and why. Sometimes I see the reason in letting stuff go, other times I tell myself I'm saving this or that for whatever purpose. Some stuff is sentimental value, some stuff is probably kinda stupid to be saving. Some stuff I save because look, I spent PERFECTLY GOOD MONEY on that stuff and it would be a shame to throw it away even if I never got any use out of it.

When the Filthy B got stolen, I had a closet full of motorcycle parts and bike-specific tools and odds and ends, purging that hurt a little, and for a few days, the process of going through it all kept my blood boiling. She wasn't a great bike, and we had some trust issues, but dammit she was mine. When she was gone, of course I didn't need all the little bits and pieces and take-offs and tools and spares and such, but it just felt wrong getting rid of it. After all, what if I got another Sportster? (Yeah, no. I'm done with Harleys, so much unreliable. Sorry, not sorry.)

Music stuff, same thing. I have bins and boxes full of guitar parts, I have miles and miles of cables, some of them I don't even know where they came from. Bits of amp and speaker hardware, case hardware, tools and pieces and odds and ends....but gotta keep it all, it might be useful. Rack units and MIDI controllers and things that I haven't used in years and will probably never use again, but hey, they still work, and nobody will buy them for a fair price so I might as well keep them, right?

Clothes and shoes aren't too hard. I save concert tees and my old Hein Gericke leather, everything else is pretty much fair game for the donation bin or the trash pile when it gets worn or no longer fits right.

-m

lmlmrn · January 2023

LOL ok another load to the donation center yesterday. Last night I cleaned/purged some more.

Thank you to everyone who has suggested cleaning method. That has really been my mindset. I even put a bin in our hallway for DH to drop 'trash' in it and a pile for donations in our family room. So far he has not put anything in either but her did take out some 'recyclables'.

We did go out for a beer yesterday afternoon. This morning we both agreed that we need to find an alternative to eating lunch out and find other activities. Work in progress.

@mfowler883 I 100% can relate to your downsizing woes. I know I have items I just hate to part with even though I don't have the rest to go with it....it is still good stuff but like you said what are the odds of ever really needing it again? I purged about 7 years ago and gave a great deal of things to anyone who would take them. Disney movies, like new cooking vessels (I mean how many pie pans can one have when you don't make pie's?)....clothes no problem.

Hugs to everyone

zensome · January 2023

I love reading everyone's posts but have trouble keeping up! I work 4 ten hour days sitting at a computer, so on my days off and after work, the last thing I want to do is sit at the computer but it is worth it see read everyone's check ins. I am currently 12 AF days out of 26, less than I had hoped at this point in the month but I have not given up entirely! Not sure yet if tonight will be A or AF, will see how later if I even want anything.

ahoy_m8 · January 2023

I’m inspired by you quarterly purgers. @joans1976 you’re a sweet daughter to give your mom that relief. In my mom’s last week of life, she panicked about stuff she wanted my to have for family posterity that honestly I didn’t know anything about. Just detailing it seemed to help. I offered to dig it out on the spot but she declined.

I think a lot of us feel like our own footprint in the world is pretty manageable, but the stuff dumped on us for safekeeping is the struggle. It’s certainly the case in my house. @Lilylady3k has her BIL’s childhood Boy Scout vest🤣. My mom gave me my Girl Scout vest in one of her purges and I am not going to foist it on anyone else. I also have my great grandmother’s engagement saddle. My brother has 3 saddles in his house already! He is a super softy about family stuff. I’m still feeling sentimental about my mom. It’s been hard lately.

Anywhoo, AF so far this week and will have a drink after pickle ball.

Lilylady3k · January 2023

January accountability: 11 days AF
Alcohol: 16 days (40 drinks)
Goal: Limit 2 glasses per day; 20-25 AF days this month. I usually target 12-16 AF days each month which is usually a challenge … hitting 20 days since DH backed out of his dry January commitment is definitely influencing me to join him on weekdays I had not planned when setting the goal. Going for it anyway!

1/27 - AF 1 Clausthaler non-alcoholic beer

Mindful Drinking Fest: A festival that was all about drinking and having fun — without being fueled by alcohol.

I've not heard of this event but would love to go one day ... or maybe they will bring it to other cities!

https://www.npr.org/2023/01/26/1151100159/nonalcoholic-spirits-mindful-drinking-festival?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr&fbclid=IwAR3EXsTTNRHlcWni46RVxK8eG6LK183iI3GGTKZ0jzQ-TSa1nCl-NY3Dv7s

https://www.mindfuldrinkingfest.com

Sinisterbarbie1 · January 2023

I went through knock down drag out battles over getting rid of things that literally would not fit into the apartment my aunt was moving into, and now even those things are sitting in a storage unit because she ended up in the hospital the same weekend she moved here, and now is permanently in a nursing home where none of those things will fit, but I had no time to find ways to get rid of them because I was too busy dealing with her health problems. Definitely purge unless you have a grudge against your children! And sending strength to those going through it now.

I found this round up of mocktail recipes for anyone with the patience. Some sound great! https://apple.news/AWa4m83J7SRq9aL4KOWiPKg

globalhiker · January 2023

I think I am going to clean on Sunday, inspired by you all. My "memorabilia" though will stay...that's my closet of size 4 clothes and some good leather shoes I can't part with. One day when I am older my feet could shrink and fit into them, who knows.

Getting rid of clutter for me is a big mental release. Makes me feel like a burden is off my shoulders, don't know why. Wish I could throw away all my "fat" clothes but then I could be in trouble with no clothes left.

My insomnia prevails and my wine devil is back..contemplating what to buy for the weekend superbowl party I am throwing. Ugh.

siberiantarragon · January 2023

Had my first drink since July today -- an acai flavored hard kombucha, at a social event in a bar. It was ok but it kind of just tasted like hard cider to me. As far as effects there weren't any different effects than normal. I didn't actually finish the whole thing, I drank a little over half and my partner finished the rest. But since I have like no tolerance now I still got kind of buzzed, although it wore off quickly.

However things have been bad this week. My new psychiatrist increased my Lexapro dose to 10mg and it actually made me depressed. I wasn't even depressed before and now I am. I keep having these thoughts like "I don't deserve to be happy because there is so much suffering in the world, some of which has been caused by me" and "there is no point to life, just misery and attempts to avoid misery," etc. I've also been sleeping over 12 hours a day and have no appetite. I messaged her about it today and she told me to go back down to 5mg and I have to see her again next week.

I'm thinking of just coming off all the medications entirely. I don't want to be a science experiment. Things were manageable the way they were. I don't know if it's worth the risk to try to improve them from the baseline.

It's really upsetting that I have to deal with this for a lifetime now because my mom decided to abuse me as a kid and give me PTSD. It makes me feel like I will never have true happiness or peace.

Sinisterbarbie1 wrote: »

I went through knock down drag out battles over getting rid of things that literally would not fit into the apartment my aunt was moving into, and now even those things are sitting in a storage unit because she ended up in the hospital the same weekend she moved here, and now is permanently in a nursing home where none of those things will fit, but I had no time to find ways to get rid of them because I was too busy dealing with her health problems. Definitely purge unless you have a grudge against your children! And sending strength to those going through it now.

I have so many hoarders in my family, on my mom's side, my dad's side, AND my partner's side. My partner grew up with TWO hoarder parents. Not just the shopaholic kind either. I could deal with piles of clothes and knickknacks like my grandma had, or even piles of newspapers from the 1940s like my grandpa had. But nope, this is the hoarding literal piles of trash, 20-year-old mice droppings, chronic bronchitis from black mold, waking up to a cockroach crawling where the sun don't shine (actually happened to my partner once when he was a kid) type of squalor hoarding. One parent died from a health condition caused by hoarding and other parent almost died from a different health condition caused by hoarding and lived with us for an extended period while they recovered (that was fun as you can imagine).

So yeah it's been a continuous cycle of managing the fallout of hoarding disorder. Just this week there had to be emergency repairs done on the hoarder home because the 100+ year old siding literally crumbled off in a strong gust of wind. My partner was visiting at the time and was just planning to leave and if he had walked out a minute sooner he could have been impaled by airborne rotting beams. This isn't even the first close brush with death that has happened with this house, they also got the rotting and leaking roof fixed literally two days before Hurricane Ida flooded out the whole area and drowned people in their homes.

joans1976 · January 2023

Hi, I’m Amanda from Michigan. I joined this group in June 2022 and I love the people on it like they are dear friends. I have greatly reduced my alcohol intake thanks to this thread and the support here.

1/1-1/26: AF

1/26: AF
I some how managed to erase my January document for LA and I can’t remember what it said exactly but I know I’ve been AF.

Feeling pretty low today, poor sleep last night. Depressing doctor appointment yesterday. I did figure out I have only had 1 drink in 93 days and it was a holiday sit by the fire warm up drink. I would like to have 5 or 6 vodka cocktails tonight to just forget about everything but I won’t because there are too many consequences, physically and emotionally. 😐😐😐
34 days AF

1/27: AF-but barely
I had an emotional day yesterday, had 2 different kinds of therapy, cognitive and art. The art therapy was new to me so there were a lot of questions that brought up a lot of feelings. I think the art therapy will be very good for me. I did a lot of art in high school and even sold some and I always enjoyed it. The art therapy is free, including the art supplies!

Last night I really really wanted a drink. The only thing I have in the house is vodka. I’ve been thinking about having a drink all week. I’m not sure what it would accomplish. I’m not really one for NA drinks in place of A drinks, I would rather just drink water. I’m not sure what to do here as the craving hasn’t gone away but I know I won’t feel better if I drink.

mfowler883 · January 2023

Moving our business from one suite to another this weekend. Long day yesterday but we made a huge amount of progress. Fast food and a beer at the end of the night. Back at it today.

-m

dawnbgethealthy · January 2023

I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
Last month I had 18AF days

I do this diary style to keep track, and post the next morning

Wednesday January 25 - AF - A very long and late day between my 2 jobs. I really felt like having a couple of drinks (maybe I feel like that every day) but used willpower. Thursday night (tonight) I am going to some friends' house for Indian/Indonesian dinner. He (making Dosa) will want to have a couple of drinks, she (Indonesian muslim) doesn't like him to have any alcohol at all, so having company is his chance to have a couple. Pretty sure that I will be able to stay AF although I think that there will be a bit of pressure. Kind of saving up drink days for the weekend now, I will have a very late Friday night after my restaurant job on a reset with my other job, Foster Grant. Already thinking of sinking into the tub after that with my TV rolled up close, watch some HGTV and have some prosecco or something.
Thursday January 26 - AF - Getting close to my 16, might not hit it until Sunday.
Friday January 27 - 2 drinks, at like midnight. 3 used to be my normal, but for at least a year it has been 2. Since cutting back I feel the drinks more. Snowed like crazy all day yesterday, but I was inside working for around 12 hours. Photos to come of course : - ) On the editing, downsizing idea, I am not interested. I like my stuff. I have 2 sisters, one is like me and the other a minimalist.

Rolling total: 15AF days out of 27 days

dawnbgethealthy · January 2023

Everything had completely melted here over the past month.
I was so pleased with all of the snow and plan to spend lots of time happily shovelling today. We got around 2 feet I would say. The trees look like magic.

The town on my way home:

In front of my house:

Lilylady3k · January 2023

globalhiker wrote: »

I think I am going to clean on Sunday, inspired by you all. My "memorabilia" though will stay...that's my closet of size 4 clothes and some good leather shoes I can't part with. One day when I am older my feet could shrink and fit into them, who knows.

Getting rid of clutter for me is a big mental release. Makes me feel like a burden is off my shoulders, don't know why. Wish I could throw away all my "fat" clothes but then I could be in trouble with no clothes left.

My insomnia prevails and my wine devil is back..contemplating what to buy for the weekend superbowl party I am throwing. Ugh.

@globalhiker - Every once in a while pull out those shoes and double check them. I have some that were 10 years old and when I went to wear them to a party the sole fell off. I was so glad I had not made it out of my house before realizing I had a problem!!!

I ran across my mother in law's sorority song book issued 1929. She was in the sorority in the late 40s. I contacted her sorority at the campus she attended ... and they would love to have it! YEAH!!! One thing checked off my list. Oh besides throwing away all my elementary school report cards. LOL How and why I still have them I have no idea.

MissMay · January 2023

28 days AF. Why stop now? LOL

I needed this cleanse. Want to keep the fluid retention to ZERO as I will be headed to Las Vegas in less than two weeks for 5 days.

My husband wanted to go there to be surrounded by sportsbooks for the Super Bowl on Feb 12. The bonus is that Valentine's Day we will still be there.

So, it is probably safe to say that I will be AF right up through and including February 9th. Once in Las Vegas I will have a few drinks, but no craziness. Last April when I went to Las Vegas, gee I think I either had 2 or 4 drinks the entire time there.

Our dream to still be travel warriors once we moved 1600 miles, settled in our new home and found jobs still appears to be a good to go.

LOVE all the chatter of downsizing and hoeing out as we used to call it.
In my business, I once helped this widow whose estate was over 5000 square feet and packed to the walls with gorgeous furnishings. My job was to downsize and move her into a quaint 2 bdrm cottage of about 1200 Sq/FT.

It was tough at first for her, I let her tell me little stories as she felt compelled and wanted to talk about certain items she had and was either going to throw away, donate, give to family/friends or keep.

We laughed a lot and the task for her became cleansing to her soul as we continued for many weeks. I felt even closer to her as she shared her stories and her life with me.

Lilylady3k · January 2023

January accountability: 12 days AF
Alcohol: 16 days (40 drinks)
Goal: Limit 2 glasses per day; 20-25 AF days this month. I usually target 12-16 AF days each month which is usually a challenge … hitting 20 days since DH backed out of his dry January commitment is definitely influencing me to join him on weekdays I had not planned when setting the goal. Going for it anyway!

1/28 - AF, DH too

Made my minimum of 12!

joans1976 · January 2023

Hi, I’m Amanda from Michigan. I joined this group in June 2022 and I love the people on it like they are dear friends. I have greatly reduced my alcohol intake thanks to this thread and the support here.

1/1-1/26: AF

1/26: AF
I some how managed to erase my January document for LA and I can’t remember what it said exactly but I know I’ve been AF.

Feeling pretty low today, poor sleep last night. Depressing doctor appointment yesterday. I did figure out I have only had 1 drink in 93 days and it was a holiday sit by the fire warm up drink. I would like to have 5 or 6 vodka cocktails tonight to just forget about everything but I won’t because there are too many consequences, physically and emotionally. 😐😐😐
34 days AF

1/27: AF-but barely
I had an emotional day yesterday, had 2 different kinds of therapy, cognitive and art. The art therapy was new to me so there were a lot of questions that brought up a lot of feelings. I think the art therapy will be very good for me. I did a lot of art in high school and even sold some and I always enjoyed it. The art therapy is free, including the art supplies!

Last night I really really wanted a drink. The only thing I have in the house is vodka. I’ve been thinking about having a drink all week. I’m not sure what it would accomplish. I’m not really one for NA drinks in place of A drinks, I would rather just drink water. I’m not sure what to do here as the craving hasn’t gone away but I know I won’t feel better if I drink.

1/28: AF
Still with the cravings to drink, although it seems less this morning. That might just be because it is morning and I’m not fully awake yet. I can’t remember who said it here, maybe it was RubyRed, that once you even get the thought of drinking in your head that you should do something about it because you are more likely to have a drink then. I 100% worded that wrong. Maybe I should go back to bed….
35 days AF

SunnyDays930 · January 2023

I'm glad so many of you found the decluttering article helpful and inspiring. It really does feel good and freeing to have an organized and de cluttered space. I need to tackle my hall closet next. I do not need 20 winter scarves etc. There are still coat drives going on where I can donate gently used coats that get cleaned and taken to shelters. I would rather see my things helping someone else instead of sitting in my closet forever. There are also "buy nothing" sites on Facebook where you can donate things. My daughter has gotten so many free and wonderful things for her kids (barely worn snow suits, baby gates etc). She also uses that site once she is finished with whatever items she no longer needs. Sorry this is so off topic regarding less alcohol LOL.

SunnyDays930 · January 2023

I just did a wonderful 10 minute-ish morning meditation on youtube. Guided Morning Meditation for Sobriety by Amie G. It is very soothing and I like what she says EXCEPT when she says something about "my disease". I am one of those that do not want to think of alcohol use disorder as a disease. A disease you do not have your own will or power over and I don't like that approach...but other than that it was a lovely meditation and hopefully will inspire me to making AF choices today.

Kath8225 · January 2023

Good Morning Everyone,
This is my first time posting here but I have been reading all the comments since this thread began. I have been AF for all but 4 days this month. New Years Day - 2 small mimosas and 1 glass of wine, and 1-2 glasses of wine on the other days. I'm retired (mostly) now but when I was still working full-time I would often have a glass or two of wine for TGIF night. Now if I do drink, it is only on Friday or Saturday nights (old habits are hard to break I guess). I did slip up this week and cracked open a can (yes, a can - 2 servings) of wine that my hubby put in my sock for Christmas. It was a Pinot Grigio from a local winery and I must say it was quite good. Our power went out for almost 24 hours that day due to a wind/rain storm so I cracked open the can (I poured it into a wine glass of course) and watched The Mummy (Brendan Fraser - yum!) that I had downloaded on my tablet. I'm more upset with myself that we binged on a large bag of chips, lol!
I'm also reading all the comments re: downsizing/purging things. I absolutely love purging but hubby is a 'saver'. It's so frustrating because he's in the process of emptying his father's house to put on the market and even though I told him not to bring anything from there into our house, I'm noticing that we are getting a collecting of 'stuff' from the house in our basement.
Well, this turned out to be more long-winded than I had intended so I'll cut it off here.
Happy Sunday everyone and I look forward to reading more of your posts!

Lilylady3k · January 2023

@dawnbgethealthy - Love your pictures. Such a wonderful welcoming with the twinkling lights in the dark snowy evening.

tmbg1 · January 2023

Jan 1- AF
Jan 1 - AF
Jan 2 - AF
Jan 3 - AF
Jan 4 - AF
Jan 5 - 6- 7- A
Jan 8 - AF
Jan 9 - AF
Jan 10 - AF
Jan 11 - AF
Jan 12- 13- 14 - A
Jan 15 - AF
Jan 16 - AF
Jan 17 - AF
Jan 18 - AF
Jan 19 -20- 21 -A
Jan 22 -AF
Jan 23 - AF
Jan 24 - AF
Jan 25-26-27-28 A (2 drinks each)
Tally this month- 15 AF and 13 A - this months goal was more AF than A so far so good!

Stockholm_Andy · January 2023

27 AF and 1 A for January

Had some drinks on Friday. Vodka Martini, glass of Red Wine and a couple of fingers of whisky. We had the place to ourselves as our daughter was at a sleepover. Lovely meal and a few tipples without over doing it was really nice.

Back on the wagon on Saturday and today so happy all round. Feels like I am in a good headspace this time to not go mad once the month is over. I'm planning to basically stay off the booze unless something special comes up. (said that before though

)

Womona · January 2023

Welcome @Kath8225 !!

@Stockholm_Andy great job, glad you got to enjoy a nice night out. I’m sure you’ll be able to keep up the string of AF nights into February.

@joans1976 hugs to you, so sorry you’re having a tough week. Great job resisting the alcohol though, it really is the last thing you need. I’m intrigued by your new art therapy. (Free supplies! Sweet!). Does it work if one can only draw stick figures? (Aka, me!) All the feeling that we push down will come up, will probably be extra challenging to stay AF, but we got your back, girl!

@dawnbgethealthy love the pictures! Very Currier and Ives!

@ahoy_m8 an engagement saddle? You mean, like, for a horse???

Womona · January 2023

@mfowler883 good luck with the move.

I had 1.5 glasses of wine Friday night, but two yesterday plus some nice port. I feel surprisingly good today and slept well last night, a huge feat, considering the fact that I had 3 drinks. Reining it in today.

I went car shopping with my son yesterday, it was fun. The car he wants has to be ordered, so it’s going to be a few months.

Womona · January 2023

siberiantarragon wrote: »

Had my first drink since July today -- an acai flavored hard kombucha, at a social event in a bar. It was ok but it kind of just tasted like hard cider to me. As far as effects there weren't any different effects than normal. I didn't actually finish the whole thing, I drank a little over half and my partner finished the rest. But since I have like no tolerance now I still got kind of buzzed, although it wore off quickly.

However things have been bad this week. My new psychiatrist increased my Lexapro dose to 10mg and it actually made me depressed. I wasn't even depressed before and now I am. I keep having these thoughts like "I don't deserve to be happy because there is so much suffering in the world, some of which has been caused by me" and "there is no point to life, just misery and attempts to avoid misery," etc. I've also been sleeping over 12 hours a day and have no appetite. I messaged her about it today and she told me to go back down to 5mg and I have to see her again next week.

I'm thinking of just coming off all the medications entirely. I don't want to be a science experiment. Things were manageable the way they were. I don't know if it's worth the risk to try to improve them from the baseline.

It's really upsetting that I have to deal with this for a lifetime now because my mom decided to abuse me as a kid and give me PTSD. It makes me feel like I will never have true happiness or peace.

Sinisterbarbie1 wrote: »

I went through knock down drag out battles over getting rid of things that literally would not fit into the apartment my aunt was moving into, and now even those things are sitting in a storage unit because she ended up in the hospital the same weekend she moved here, and now is permanently in a nursing home where none of those things will fit, but I had no time to find ways to get rid of them because I was too busy dealing with her health problems. Definitely purge unless you have a grudge against your children! And sending strength to those going through it now.

I have so many hoarders in my family, on my mom's side, my dad's side, AND my partner's side. My partner grew up with TWO hoarder parents. Not just the shopaholic kind either. I could deal with piles of clothes and knickknacks like my grandma had, or even piles of newspapers from the 1940s like my grandpa had. But nope, this is the hoarding literal piles of trash, 20-year-old mice droppings, chronic bronchitis from black mold, waking up to a cockroach crawling where the sun don't shine (actually happened to my partner once when he was a kid) type of squalor hoarding. One parent died from a health condition caused by hoarding and other parent almost died from a different health condition caused by hoarding and lived with us for an extended period while they recovered (that was fun as you can imagine).

So yeah it's been a continuous cycle of managing the fallout of hoarding disorder. Just this week there had to be emergency repairs done on the hoarder home because the 100+ year old siding literally crumbled off in a strong gust of wind. My partner was visiting at the time and was just planning to leave and if he had walked out a minute sooner he could have been impaled by airborne rotting beams. This isn't even the first close brush with death that has happened with this house, they also got the rotting and leaking roof fixed literally two days before Hurricane Ida flooded out the whole area and drowned people in their homes.

Wow, I thought my MIL’s house was bad. Geez. Glad he is ok!

Have you ever tried EMDR therapy? It’s said to be very effective for PTSD. Kinda sucks to need to be on Meds to deal with past trauma. I hear ya. Hugs.

LESS Alcohol ~ JANUARY 2023 ~ One Day At A Time

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