Just Give Me 10 Days -Round 217

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Replies

  • clprieur
    clprieur Posts: 264 Member

    @clprieur Your post really touched me today. I don't think that I am ready to face (I'll admit but not face) my perfectionism. Wow, this is hard and powerful! My voice is my mother's. When one spoon was dirty (no dishwasher back then), all the dishes, silverware AND pots & pans were taken out of the cabinets to wash, dry and put away because I MUST need practice if I left that spot on the spoon! Add to that the lack of confidence with teenage acne. Your first job where EVERYTHING had to be learned and you were the new inexperienced kid. Teachers "grading" your papers which felt like judgement every single day. And so much more......

    Too much, too much for me to face right now. Because it does affect your whole life. Your expectations of your husband, your children, their teachers, your co-workers etc. How many relationships didn't work out because of me?

    Being perfect is impossible. It is chasing my own tail and never catching it. I know that. It's just something I need to work on when I am strong enough to do it. One thing at a time.....One day at a time. Because when I face it, I will need to be full-on with it. I'll need to do it perfectly, right?

    @deepwoodslady I started talking out loud to that critical voice. Sounds crazy but I found it helpful. I think just starting to recognize when that voice is starting up is a skill. Then I would contradict it out loud and just tell it to basically eff off and shut up. It is surprising, but after awhile the voice.. well it didn't go away, but it did quiet down. It's still there, but I do find it helpful when I'm starting to be hard on myself to just start randomly listing positive things about myself. LOL. I dunno. Just my two cents. :)


  • clprieur
    clprieur Posts: 264 Member
    shmmm3 wrote: »
    @clprieur @deepwoodslady Both of your posts are good for me to read today. If it wasn't perfect it was deliberate disobedience. Any mistake was either classed as deliberate or an opportunity to "train you" not to make the same mistake again. Either way, not perfect=punishment. No wonder I shut down so quickly.

    @shmmm3 Yeah, I hear that. It's pretty challenging to overcome, for sure. :(

  • musicsax
    musicsax Posts: 4,228 Member
    @mthomas0228 - what brilliant milestones you have achieved, congrats, you are doing so well, keep the roll going! :)
  • 39flavours
    39flavours Posts: 1,494 Member
    @begin2023 I am so sad for you, cats truly become dearly loved family members and it's heartbreaking when they go. Cherish those memories of that little scrappy kitten
  • clprieur
    clprieur Posts: 264 Member
    39flavours wrote: »
    F42, 5'4

    3/20 149.2 (trend 150.7) I'm surprised to see a drop today, I didn't get all my steps in and went over on calories by 200, very encouraging! I've had a lot more fibre the last few days, and more tmi, so maybe that helped? Thinking of adding fibre supplements into my diet. Only 4.5hrs sleep, but I'm feeling good, might need a nap later.

    @39flavours Hey - I put a bit of fibre powder in my coffee every morning, to help me get to my fibre goal of 21g per day. Just a suggestion. :)
  • clprieur
    clprieur Posts: 264 Member
    begin2023 wrote: »
    Round 217

    3/18: 183. Lost a pet this week after 15 years, she has been a part of my family from the time she was a 5 week old scrap of a kitten Proud of staying on track, even though I am not as attentive to the recording as I can be. Something in me is resistant to sharing progress. It is safer to win and lose in private. And I want to be proud of my self because, for the first time in my life, I am doing this for myself, not to make up to other people’s expectations. Maybe learning to be in community is part of the growth here.

    @begin2023 I'm so sorry about your kitty. They are so easy to love but they break your heart when they leave. And leave they must. Very proud of you for staying on track, and don't worry about not logging 100% - I find it is best to just keep doing your best every day, to form the habit, and it gets a bit easier as you go along. Take care of yourself.
  • SModa61
    SModa61 Posts: 2,829 Member
    clprieur wrote: »
    39flavours wrote: »
    F42, 5'4

    3/20 149.2 (trend 150.7) I'm surprised to see a drop today, I didn't get all my steps in and went over on calories by 200, very encouraging! I've had a lot more fibre the last few days, and more tmi, so maybe that helped? Thinking of adding fibre supplements into my diet. Only 4.5hrs sleep, but I'm feeling good, might need a nap later.

    @39flavours Hey - I put a bit of fibre powder in my coffee every morning, to help me get to my fibre goal of 21g per day. Just a suggestion. :)

    @clprieur On the subject of fiber and all that, I had lifelong issues that resulted hemorrhoids that worsened and worsened and in 2018 had a hemorrhoidectomy (sp?). My breakfast of champions is 1 scoop protein powder (Quest peanut butter), 1 TB chia seeds (fiber and iron) and add water to peanut butter consistency. Add 5 ounce yogurt (this component has varied from plain greek to a light yogurt), stir, then add 39 grams fiber one cereal and stir. Right there, I exceed my fiber for my day and get 46% of iron RDA (menopausal women need 50%). My coffee then has miralax added. My CLS has told me that I should be on it for life (yes, I know there are lots of debates on this instruction, but it has changed my life!!) When I eat the above daily, I have a perfect working system regardless of what I eat the rest of the day. Ironically, I am not having it this morning. :P