LESS Alcohol ~ MARCH 2023 ~ One Day at A Time

I am Dawn, I live in South Eastern British Columbia.
I joined this thread in November of 2018, a daily drinker at the time
My primary goal with drinking less is weight loss.

My usual goal is 16-20 AF days for the month,
I had 16AF days for the shortened month of February.

I do this diary style, I normally post the next morning.

Monday March 27 - AF - Very busy week for me, that will keep me AF until at least Thursday or Friday.
Tuesday March 28 - AF - Planning on hitting my 16 Wednesday.
Wednesday March 29 - AF - Hit my 16. Going to try to stay AF Thursday.

Rolling total: 16AF day out of 29 days.

Drug companies...ahem...I was religiously taking a name brand allergy medication until it disappeared from the market. At the time I was sharing a home with my sister and her 6 cats...and previously had submitted to allergy shots each month, which worked. Insurance issues...yaddayadda...so the OTC meds were a great option. I found a generic allergy med with the same ingredients after the name brand disappeared . Then, the generic became harder and harder to find...The active ingredients were at that time being used for a study for a "treatment" for MS. No issues from me for the wish to help MS patients, just, please, let me be able to breathe.
The MS study proved to be ineffective, but the active ingredients had been removed from the list of treatments for allergies. And, of course, were now WAY more expensive. To get these meds, one needed to get their doctors to jump thru hoops, plead their case, and apply again and again to the providers to approve a prescription for an allergic patient. For me it sometimes worked, mostly didn't . I simply did not agree that to not be sniffling and drippy, and itchy would require me to be mostly comatose from my meds...
Life has moved on...and is much better.
Diabetes drugs becoming scarce because obese folks want to use them to lose weight ?? Damn !! I' d like a magic pill to become slim. I only have maybe 20 pounds to get rid of, [IMOM} but, if it means taking away resources from folks who are dangerously ill, count me the *kitten* out. Subbing zoodles for pasta and salmon for steak is far more attractive than thinking of your neighbor in a diabetic coma .

My #2 SIL up the street is having extreme issues with his auto-immune disease . He cannot now use his hands or feet due to this, and is also having issues with health providers who are reluctant to approve "new" or " unapproved" drugs. This week he just got $19,000 worth of "free " drugs for his treatment. [2 shots ] What is the issue with health care providers who are reluctant to approve $5.00 worth of drugs that they charge $15,000 for ?? I am horrified that someday he will not be able to get a proper medication and will die after 40 years of an ailment that has no cure. He has exhausted all "approved" treatments, there are no options except "trials" and experimentals.

Guess my rant is over.

Wishing good health , happiness, and mental stability to all here .

When I was in my early 40's my then boyfriend decided that I was going through menopause, gave me a little book titled "Now that you are going thru Menopause"...arranged for a Dr. appt. for tests, and spent beaucoup $ on this. Well, the lady Dr. affirmed that I was not going thru either menopause, nor "peri-menopause" . And I told the "boyfriend" that my "symptoms" were simply because I just hated him....and wanted him to go away...
Y'know, I never had any meno "symptoms" before or after he left my life.
I consider myself blessed that I missed all the issues from that phase of life. Don't know why or how, just very lucky.
Drinking triggers ?? Cooking shows, after creating artisanal breads, roasted veggies, opening a local wine...
Reality shows...always with an open bottle ...
So many documentaries...why are these people always DRINKING??

It is always my weakness, my decision, my choice to consume.
AF can last for months or a year.
Then, just a glass a night can turn into a bottle a night.

Guess I'm here to see that I'm not the only one struggling , the only one who needs a stern voice to remind me that another pour is not needed .

Ready for another month's reset
@MissMay

@Jthanmyfitnesspal I'm glad to hear you did well this month. Its true, its easier to run when youre lighter!

@Womona Geez! I am sorry to hear you are going through this! I might be joining you in some of the effects of meno soon. Periods and pelvic pain and PMS are all a nightmare! I had a hysterectomy in 2018 (I have my ovaries left) and at first I was thankful for no periods but it ruined my relationship with the man I was dating, I gained 80 pounds and have a hernia from my incision. Its still nice to not have a period though. I binged Emily in Paris the first season, its kind of like a guilty pleasure.

@RockinRobyn672 Please give yourself some grace, I dont like to hear you say you are disgusted with yourself! I give you so much credit for all the exercise you do and being conscious of your alcohol intake.

@joans1976 congratulations on being NED!! I don’t think there is any better news possible! On the chemically induced menopause issue - that happened to me too when I started chemo though so it might have been different because I couldn’t separate chemo effects from menopause effects. The main bad symptoms for me were terrible night sweats (not so much hot flashes during the day though i did have a couple crazy ones that left me drenched like I had taken a shower) and some brain fog/chemo brain. Both can be from menopause as well as from chemo so who knows. I came through most of it fairly quickly though. I didn’t have any options to reduce recurrence risk post treatment like anti estrogen treatments since my cancer was triple negative and as much as others worried about possible side effects, I would have given an arm and a leg for the extra protection. In the first few years after treatment I was constantly checking for lumps and worried about every ache or pain and at the same time worried that I couldn’t ask bc I would sound like a hypochondriac. I had never been sick before, now I was worried about everything and lots of stuff went wrong.

My biggest post treatment struggles were mental. You go from dr appointments and attention to your health every day to essentially nothing. Also many of the people who have supported you may think that everything is done now and expect you to bounce back into your old way of life as if nothing ever happened — or to be super happy - but you have come through something life changing and need to process that. Plus you are pretty physically run down and it takes a long time to get back to truly feeling normal. I struggled with depression in a big way. Additionally, all of the treatments themselves as well as menopause affected me sexually/my sex drive/pain actual physical changes to my anatomy that no one warned me about or talked to me about later. People are getting better about talking about these issues both i survivorship treatment and general menopause counseling but it is a real issue and if you care about it you should raise it now with your nurse practitioner and get referrals.

Obviously the issues I mention are huge triggers for drinking and weight gain. Both of which I did post chemo. My situation was a bit more extreme because I was in the hospital and unable to walk for 6 weeks/had lost nerve feeling and also ability to sense where in space I was but the risks for drinking/overeating and otherwise self medicating are real if you don’t give yourself grace and instead try to make everyone else around you feel better. That is often my problem and instead of ending well it ends in disaster - like with me in the hospital for 6 weeks, gaining 50 lbs and drinking daily.

Happily, all that is well behind me, I lost the weight plus some, I look better than pre cancer, I am not as strong as I used to be and can’t do everything I used to, but I do Pilates most every day which is so great for me and i walk and I don’t drink at all anymore. It isn’t a challenge at all anymore not to (though it was at the beginning). That ended up being easier for me, though I am not suggesting it for others, of course.

Anyway, sorry for the long note and very personal story - Ive said most of this on the boards already in dribs and drabs, but thought it was worth saying specifically to you, and in relation to thinking about staying healthy and avoiding some of the pitfalls people didn’t warn me about that ended up directly related to drinking and weight as well. I am super happy for you and want you to feel great and wonderful and don’t mean to bring you down at all but I also want to say it is OK to not feel great, to feel worried, to even feel depressed and scared, and that if you do you should share that with your friends and family instead of trying to put on a brave face … yet again.
Much love

Hi, I’m Amanda! My only March goal was to come out unscathed. I sort of did! Healing radiation burns and 27 medical appointments under my belt!
My A intake was low: 30 out of 31 days AF.

As usual, everyone has been so supportive and kind and I couldn’t do this without you!
On to April!

@Sinisterbarbie1 (Still my favorite username on the internet) Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! I am very aware survivorship and getting closer to it is a mental struggle. I am very aware of my mental health but that doesn’t mean I’m in a good place all of the time. I have quite a bit of support but I’m still pretty lonely in this struggle. I live alone, no kids (cats though) and there have been times the past 6 months I really needed help and didn’t get it. I start the hormones next week and honestly, I’m really apprehensive about them but I feel like it’s another tool in my toolbox to prevent recurrence. And I am lucky to have this option. I’ve found what helps the most is relating to other women who have gone through cancer or are going through it. My family and friends are supportive and mean well but getting a cancer diagnosis changes you and your body and seeps into almost all aspects of life. A silver lining is I have developed more of an IDGAF attitude and I needed to do that to set some boundaries with certain people. It’s very freeing.

I appreciate all your advice and the time you took to write to me! I am sorry you had to face TNBC and so glad you made it through! I hear you and I am glad you’re here!