WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2024
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Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies!
Well my dad had an adventure last night. He left sometime after four to walk to Starbucks. At 7:30 the YMCA called me and said he needed a ride home. He got lost in the dark and the fog and his dementia and walked in circles.
He was exhausted but not sorry. He feels like he just made a little wrong turn. He was so wobbly he could barely stand up.
And I won't be able to talk to him today because his hearing aids are not in the charger. I looked at GPS trackers yesterday but they all need charging. He got rid of his phone because he couldn't remember how to turn it on. He won't even carry my phone number, they called the house phone which I don't usually answer.
Eventually he is going to have an accident because he is reckless and I can't stop him. We had agreed that he wouldn't leave our development months ago, but he must have forgotten. He's like a toddler.
I guess I shouldn't worry so much about what I can't control. He is going to keep doing this until he can't anymore. Maybe I should be grateful for his health and strength.
Thanks for letting me rant. He's been late before, but this is the first time I had to pick him up. I normally don't drive at night because my vision is lousy, but it wasn't far and I made it.
I'm going out to lunch today. I will likely eat more calories than I burned all week on the bike. But it's getting better.
Have a great day,
Annie in Delaware
My recommendation is to start looking into options for people with dementia in your area.
There may be carers, trackers you can "install " in a pocket of his clothing or something, and other forms of help.
With dementia, he won't remember agreements you've made months or even weeks ago.
Do you have a dementia organisation in your area that can provide you with more information?
M in Oz4 -
2962960
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Annie- please like Machka said look into Delaware Community care for the elderly.or your local social services.. they are a wealth of information
Believe me I did it all on my own for my FIL,all I needed from my BIL was his financial papers
They did an assessment and had adult day care that picked him up and dropped him off,which I think would be a wonderful thing for your dad,they helped with a life alert and even had companions and homemakers come in on the weekends and meals on wheels.
It really took a load off our mind knowing that Tom and I living an hour away..that he was safe and well fed..
Honest..all it takes is a phone call or 2.
Good luck..2 -
Annie - As others have mentioned, I wonder if there's a GPS tracker you could somehow attach to your dad when he takes off? His dementia is getting scary, that's for sure. My grandfather did the wandering at night, police would bring him home (small town.) What finally stopped it for good was him breaking his hip. Sending many, many hugs to you. You are walking a fine line between allowing him some independence or curtailing his activities and watching him 24/7 (exhausting for you!)
Lisa - how long did Corey practice the Burt Reynolds pose? He's got it down!
All that's missing is the bear skin rug (if I remember right.) Good catch, Rebecca, lol.
Michele - my calf got better on its own. Doesn't take much, maybe I stepped crooked and didn't realize it. After they diagnosed my knee pain as arthritis under the kneecap last fall, Dr. Lisa said try glucosamine. I have been taking it and that pain has resolved. The arthritis in my toes doesn't seem so bad anymore either.
Ginny - I got an 8 lb. vest and I wouldn't want it any heavier to start out. Right now I'm only wearing it 10 minutes at a time and I may end up putting additional shoulder padding under the top straps - like folded washcloths. I read a study done with frail seniors who wore 2 or 3 lb. zip front vests all day long, and there were good results in balance and in other areas. I believe it was in the $150 range. I see there are zip vests on Amazon which distribute the weight better and they have pockets where weight can be added. I might eventually go that route. I will probably wait and see what the next DEXA scan shows.
Dr. Lisa remeasured my height. I'm now 68" tall, down from 69" when I was in my early 20's. I don't think that's too bad considering 72 years of gravity and a herniated disc. Aim to keep it there.
Also, I told her nurse Kelly that I had a few hens, and she said her DAD did too and treated them royally, always buying special treats for them in the produce department, built them a state of the art coop, etc. Hmmmm..... I need to find out more about this guy!
Make it a wonderful day.
Lanette
SW WA State5 -
DH and self care I am reading a book called “Stop Walking on Eggshells” its about living with a narcissist, and the Alanon literature. In those I keep running across the fact that I can’t change anyone and should not do what they can do for themselves. I started doing that before this information with DH’s drinking and getting in trouble at the park (he fell in our canal twice on one night!) or would take the car and drive to where ‘undesirables’ were parking to chase them out while he was drunk. I took the keys a few times and when he realized I was serious about that, doesn’t take the car any more. I felt more freedom from worry. As far as medical goes, I make the appointments together, tell him when they are and when its time to go and when he starts ranting, I say, ok, I’ll go alone, no problem. He ends up going. I do the pills and haven’t given that up yet. That is another thing I will try but I don’t make him take them. He skips them occasionally and realizes he feels bad when he does, so takes them more often than not. I am trying to ‘lovingly detach’ more and more. ALANON came up with that and the Eggshell book, repeats that. That I am working on a little at a time. It is hard for me because I like (need) to be in charge. But, when i do, I turn things around for me as well as helping him a little without actually doing it. My biggest issue is his actions due to alcoholic dementia and the narcissism affect his personality. I do love him, he has his days, and am working on me with these books and therapy. That is all I can do. Leaving him would create more emotional problems for me with worry and guilt, so out of the question. We’ve been together 32 years this year (married 27 yrs, lived together for 5 before marriage). I don’t want to throw that away.
On another note, my son and oldest daughter want me to move where they are when we leave the park, my middle DD is mad at me for I don’t know what and lives in TN which I considered moving to as well as I really liked TN. My DH doesn’t want to go to either as he has beliefs about both places that he doesn’t like. He wants to stay here in NM. So, in my goals this year researching places to live when we leave the park, I will add New England and TN to the research and simply wait. We need to pay the car off and a loan we have before we leave the RV park at all. That won’t be for 2 years, but it is time to start now in case anything happens to our place at the park or one of us dies.
Sorry about the book/rant, sometimes good to run things pass others. 🥰
RVRita, Roswell, NM8 -
I’m enjoying holding babies and spending time with my granddaughter and her DH. I’m going to miss them when I head home on Friday. Debbie, Wasilla is a lovely town with mountains all around. If I were younger I might just move here and drive Winnebago like your friend, Edwina.
Betsy in Wasilla AK.4 -
Today is chocolate cake day, well I can’t eat that but have a recipe for KETO Mousse that I can make a chocolate one or maybe mocha? Breast pumping day, not any more! Check out a quilting store, we don’t have one specifically, but do have a sewing store and a couple of craft stores. HMMM, there is a nice craft store, locally owned, on Main ST with the alien stuff, perhaps I’ll take a ride there?
RVRita
Ps @Machka Sorry I didn’t mention Australia Day. I though you had mentioned that it was controversial earlier in yesterday’s post, so didn’t want to ‘rock the boat’ 😊 😇
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The nurse dressed my leg yesterday and will have a look at it again on Tuesday. It is definitely healing up with the medication she put on it.
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri8 -
Yesterday I went with my Whidbey friend to her eye doctor appointment in Everett WA. She asked to bring her older dog with us, because her 9 month old puppy kind of plays too rough with the older dog, and she can't trust husband to keep an eye on them. So I had a dog in my lap, actually she stayed mostly on her lap as she drove. If was a fun time and we went to the Olive Garden restaurant for dinner afterwards. We both talked and talked! We shared secrets and vended our problems as well.👍🏼 A therapeutic outing! She picked me up at 1pm and dropped me home at 8pm so quite a long day.
Blessed to have her as a friend.💖
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa9 -
Terri - hope your leg heals soon! John has had an itchy rash on his arm. The pharmacy gave him something for it. It's healing slowly.
Annie - My very great sympathy to you. What a conundrum!
Rita - (((HUGS)))
After my exertions this morning I had a doze before Edie arrived. We set to on our Art. Edie wanted to finish her cello painting with the rubber resist design, I painted a Valentines card for John, behind a screen, and John completed a crocus painting.
Edie's second task was to make a box out of A4 paper. She painted and decorated the paper first. She followed instructions on my Instagram feed, and it turned out really good. She's giving it to her parents for Valentines Day!
I made a little envelope out of a magazine page. I thought of Rebecca.
So, all good.
Her mum came to pick her up and now we are relaxing with a gin and tonic!
Will watch Maigret, in French, tonight.
Heather UK, waiting for her book to appear on Amazon...... xxxxxxxx
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Afternoon ladies
Well got up and dressed and am tiding up the bedroom and folding and putting clothes away.. going through my sock drawer now and getting rid of some of my holey ones,I get worn out quick ,so maybe later on will have a go at the kitchen counters..3 -
Kylia - I know those numbers sound awful, but his AST/ALT numbers are really in the "mildly elevated range." Hopefully he will listen, of course, and lay off the booze. But note that some liver diseases show ALT over 2,000.The A1C of 6.1 is pre-diabetic, and laying off the alcohol definitely wouldn't hurt there, either. Hope you can convince him to try to turn the numbers around, but hate to see you panicking when it all may well be at the fixable stages. Take a breath, dear heart. Hope the migraine was averted.
Annie - Advice flooding in, for you, I'm sorry I have none... just holding you up from here. Lots of hugs.
Rosemarie - I do hold onto all those memories... I carry them in my heart. I'm so grateful for the time to just sit and talk on those newly built couches and make plans with Corey. The losses suffered by so many of you in this group make me even more aware that it won't last forever. I don't mind the reminders, though. It's too important to ever take for granted.
And on that note, I sent a message to Home Depot last night, with photos, to show we received the boxes. I thanked them for the refund of $120, and noted that until they stepped in with the conversations with the vendor, I was getting nowhere. I encouraged them to continue making those relationships work for customers, as what we dealt with could have been resolved a month earlier with a phone call or message from them to the vendor at that time. So they sent me another $70 refund this morning. 👀😀🙃
Rags to riches if ever was... Sometimes, you have to pitch a fit and fall in it in order to get things done, I guess. 😈 *sigh* My sense of injustice just overwhelmed my innate reluctance. Corey has marveled throughout, as he would never have lodged the first protest, and just welded up a couple of couch frames if I had let him. 🙃
Those sunroom couch plans has resulted in more home renovation:At the moment, I'm tearing our kitchen pantry apart--I've already gotten the lower doors off of it. I should have taken a before picture, there might be one around somewhere. It's the domino effect. Corey's building shelves in his sunroom kitchen this morning, which will help by moving the big kitchen countertop appliances out there for storage (dehydrator, Instant Pot, etc.) and allow us to remove a large, wire shelf from the mudroom, which will allow us to move the chest freezer in the mudroom, and he plans to put in a few shelves for more home canned jars, as well as boots and shoes.
That should also allow us to move all the coat racks out of the entry way into the mudroom as well, where they're supposed to be, and then he'll build shelves by the pantry, which will allow us to remove an entire old bookshelf from the laundry room that is now holding those things. Then we'll take the old drafting table out of the laundry room and he will build shelves there to give the detergent, bleach, etc., a home and get them in my reach. At the moment, they're high above the washer and dryer, and hard for me to reach or to use. And... if you're not confused already, I probably am. That's the dangerous part of sitting down and making plans!
I've let this sit long enough. Back to my doin's, dear hearts.
Much love from gray, gloomy Arkansas,
Lisa10 -
2972970
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Exciting stuff- we were able to take down our wall mirrors ourselves (above sink) in our master bathroom. One came off in one whole piece, the other cracked, cutting 2 of my fingers, oh well. Guy that did some work before for us is caulking up the wall. We’ll paint and put up the new mirrors and lighting fixtures ourselves. Saved ourselves $300. Original cost was $500. We took the mirrors downstairs and Kirby is breaking it up to pain the garbage
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Kylia and Rita - trying to get our DH's to get into good health habits and eat better and cut out or at least cut down the drinking is a huge task. I managed to make myself crazy and jeopardize my own health to some extent stressing over it and thinking I was partially responsible because I wasn't shopping or cooking right toward the end of my DH's life. All I can think of is do the best you can for your own health and maybe they'll learn from your example. Sending (((HUGS)))).
Lisa - you and Corey are on fire. Love to hear about all the little changes going on to make the house easier for you to live in. Our farm house had a mud room that was wonderful - not as large as yours, but a place to hang coats and kick off boots, and store some firewood and with a huge closet to boot. I miss that.
I just started reading "The Joy of Movement - How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage," by Kelly McGonigal.
What I picked up in the first few pages: Our ancestors evolved walking and carrying stuff. Sometimes heavy stuff. That's what our brain and bodies are designed to do. Sounds simple, but I think it's profound, considering how easy it was to create my habit of "walking with weights."
Here's a 12 minute Dr. Chatterjee interview with her. It's filled with a lot of gems.
Stanford Psychologist Reveals How Movement Can Transform Your Life | Kelly McGonigal
Heather - this makes me think of Edie and how driven she is in sports and in many parts of her life. (Congrats on finishing your book by the way. Is there another one planned?)
Lanette
SW WA State
2 -
Annie-glad you got your dad home safely. Will you be at gp with him? Maybe if you don't want to say everything in front of him you could write some bullet points of issues for doctor to review before you are all in the room? It is typically difficult to get things done with adults while they are still somewhat lucid but you need to start a formal record now.
Kylia-sorry DH is uncooperative in health arena. You can only do so much. Hope you can avoid migraine.
Lanette-going to give vest a try.
Terri-happy to hear you are on the mend.
Lisa-one project does lead to another!
Pip-good start on the bathroom. I would not have tried removing those mirrors!
Rebecca-glad you got out for the day.
Rita-relationships are tough and the only people who can make decisions about them are the people in them. I get what you mean about not wanting to toss things away. Also, even though he is having his problems now I am sure there are times you look in his eyes and can see the man you fell in love with. He's still in there-sometimes they just get covered up.
Semi productive day but I think the benadryl I took last night carried over to today! Moving slowing but getting things done. Have dozed off and on. Went for a two mile walk so that was nice,
Off to face the litter boxes!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio8 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Terri - hope your leg heals soon! John has had an itchy rash on his arm. The pharmacy gave him something for it. It's healing slowly.
Annie - My very great sympathy to you. What a conundrum!
Rita - (((HUGS)))
After my exertions this morning I had a doze before Edie arrived. We set to on our Art. Edie wanted to finish her cello painting with the rubber resist design, I painted a Valentines card for John, behind a screen, and John completed a crocus painting.
Edie's second task was to make a box out of A4 paper. She painted and decorated the paper first. She followed instructions on my Instagram feed, and it turned out really good. She's giving it to her parents for Valentines Day!
I made a little envelope out of a magazine page. I thought of Rebecca.
So, all good.
Her mum came to pick her up and now we are relaxing with a gin and tonic!
Will watch Maigret, in French, tonight.
Heather UK, waiting for her book to appear on Amazon...... xxxxxxxx
Awe, its a fun thing, and glad you thought of me!💖👍🏼
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa2 -
Annie-glad you got your dad home safely. Will you be at gp with him? Maybe if you don't want to say everything in front of him you could write some bullet points of issues for doctor to review before you are all in the room? It is typically difficult to get things done with adults while they are still somewhat lucid but you need to start a formal record now.
Kylia-sorry DH is uncooperative in health arena. You can only do so much. Hope you can avoid migraine.
Lanette-going to give vest a try.
Terri-happy to hear you are on the mend.
Lisa-one project does lead to another!
Pip-good start on the bathroom. I would not have tried removing those mirrors!
Rebecca-glad you got out for the day.
Rita-relationships are tough and the only people who can make decisions about them are the people in them. I get what you mean about not wanting to toss things away. Also, even though he is having his problems now I am sure there are times you look in his eyes and can see the man you fell in love with. He's still in there-sometimes they just get covered up.
Semi productive day but I think the benadryl I took last night carried over to today! Moving slowing but getting things done. Have dozed off and on. Went for a two mile walk so that was nice,
Off to face the litter boxes!
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio
Yes I can get to be a happy hermit here, but my friend says she won't let me.😂
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa1 -
Lanette - I still have a big task getting some publicity out for NOW I AM. That will be my preoccupation for the next few weeks. The book is much lighter and more positive than my previous ones and has some helpful insights that I hope will point people in a good direction. I have learnt so much over the years, as have many of you, that I felt the urge to share some of that hard won wisdom.
I hope it will encourage and inspire.
I do have several ideas on the back burner for the next book. I will have to see where inclination and inspiration take me.
As Picasso said, 'Inspiration can descend on you at any time, but it has to find you working'.
We are all in this together. Community is so important.
It's interesting to me that Edie is very self-critical about her art, but she is able to let most of that perfectionism go in her sports. She is very realistic. She has a calmness about her that is enviable. A shining light. She made a cake this morning, after her bicycle ride, in my bundt tin I gave her. She's going to add strawberries and cream.
Love to everyone, especially those struggling with loved ones.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
AFTER! Looks good, we’ll paint it on Monday6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxNlS1W5rg8
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