No flirting, need free work out Apps.

LOL, is that a big problem here on this site? Flirting?

The other thing you can do is use an AV that isn't a picture of a female face. That works well. I also have my profile locked for privacy so I don't get "friend requests" or private messages. I don't really think flirting is a big problem on this site, but you can always report any creepiness. :flowerforyou:

I can't imagine you've gotten a lot of flirting with only a month on the site and three posts, though.

Good luck on your workout apps. There's tens of thousands of YouTube videos for free.

Oh, I thought of something else...

On this site are a couple forum Categories I don't go to - ever.

"Chit Chat" and "Fun and Games." If you've been looking at those categories I could see how you might think this site is all about that...

You can "Unfollow" all the threads in both those Categories by going to "Categories" here: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories

At the far right of each subcategory (on a browser/web version) you'll see three little dots. Click that next to "Chit Chat" and then click "Unfollow." Then you won't see any of those threads with overt flirting.

I forgot about those entirely. I've Unfollowed them for years.

tomcustombuilder wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

tomcustombuilder wrote: »

Lol @ this thread, Really?.....

Yes, really. A few men being total creepers is a thing almost anywhere online, and any decent man would be shocked by some of the things that happen. Just because it's out of a person's view doesn't make it fictional. It can feel threatening. On rare occasions it actually is threatening.

There are a few women who are creepers, too, sure. Fishing scams, that sort of thing. I don't know how common that is.

Don't be naïve.

im not naive in the least Ann. If someone was worried about it they just don’t post a pic, this isn’t brain surgery. If you post pix of yourself and you’re decent looking you’ll need to expect attention and not be surprised and learn to deal with it. Welcome to social media

Starting a post out like that was a bit odd.

Odd but understandable to me.

Expecting women (or anyone) to change perfectly reasonable, normal behavior (like using their actual face as their avatar) in order to avoid others' bad behavior is IMO tantamount to victim blaming.

For sure, it's not about being "decent looking". At age 60+, and not in any way conventionally good-looking, even I get that kind of stuff. In practice, it doesn't even require a photo. Just a name can be enough to draw this kind of sleazy come-on online. It's a power trip or ego trip, I think.

Yes, people (all sexes or ages/stages) should avoid high-risk behavior. Simply being should not be treated as high-risk behavior. I think we should blame the perpetrators, male or female, who are behaving inappropriately.

BTW, in what world are things like unsolicited crotch pics "attention" we should "expect" and "learn to deal with"? Good grief. Acting as if these guys' behavior is normal and to be expected is part of the problem.

tomcustombuilder wrote: »

Again, if you’re worried about being hit on don’t post a pic. If you want attention then do so and then say how you don’t want to be hit on….

The internet is a crazy place. Takes all kinds, keeps it interesting…..

I thought hard about whether to reply to this, as I don’t want to get into a debate of this kind on social media. But by being silent I’m being complicit and I think it’s important I am an ally when I can be.

I don’t expect you to change your view or even reconsider your stance on this. But for others reading this - please understand that this perpetrates victim shaming. It is very close to “it’s women’s fault if they are groped when wearing revealing dresses as they should realise it will happen”: “don’t wear skirts on the tube if you don’t want to be upskirted”: “it’s your fault for being attacked if you were drunk in public”.

This is victim shaming. It shifts the blame from the person who was attacked or violated to the perpetrator (usually but not always a man). That’s saying it’s not the perpetrator’s fault for attacking someone, raping them or - in this case - sending me crotch pics.

I’m not getting into a debate here but I have worked with women who were sexually attacked. The shame and guilt put on them by society is so wrong and I can’t just let this pass without putting my personal opinion out there’s
.

I think people seem to be talking past each other.

Assaults are not acceptable. Period. "Flirting" can be inappropriate, and in my opinion this is not a place for flirting. I honestly don't understand why anyone would have any desire to flirt on an online forum where they'll never see the person. In my opinion likening flirting to assault does a disservice to those who are assaulted.

I am very sorry for anyone who has experienced inappropriate acts, whether that is assault or even unwanted flirting.

On the other side, to start out a thread like this is basically like going to a restaurant, having a waiter come up to the table and immediately saying to the waiter "please do not flirt with me, I just want to place my order." That's a bit of a strange way to start an interaction. And it is a subtle attack on that waiter.

I personally think LOL is the wrong response because there's a reason someone starts a thread like that, and it's because they were likely made uncomfortable in the past. We should try to practice empathy, and not be dismissive of people's concerns. By the way, this holds whether the action is inappropriate in the eyes of society or even if it's considered inappropriate solely in the eyes of the person the behavior is directed toward (I'm not saying the latter is the case here, just making the point).

I'm not going to comment on whether I think any of the responses are victim shaming since I think that's very much a matter of opinion and how it's delivered, which can be difficult to determine over text. But providing advice to people to avoid being subject to bad actors does not necessarily come from a place of bad intent. For example, if you go to a place that has a lot of theft or kidnapping you're well advised to not wear expensive clothing and jewelry. That does not mean the people giving advice think it's acceptable for others to steal from people who wear expensive jewelry.