WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2024

@Julieann404 NY/FL - Don't know if I ever said, "Welcome to the group," but welcome! Glad to get to know you.

Heather - Sounds like that's definitely the root of your pain, and I think we're capable of being both relieved and depressed at the same time. I also think we have this notion embedded in our cultural matrix that arthritis is just for "old folks," so it's hard to take it onboard when we still feel young and vital. If you've got bone spurs in your hips, a hip replacement could make a huge difference for your pain levels--the right knee replacement did for me. Something like 95% of hip replacements are quite successful, even life-changing, but unfortunately, we tend to only hear about the ones that aren't. I think your overall physical health would make you a great candidate.

Woke up with a stinker of a headache, probably barometric, with the rain due to arrive about 11 a.m. Luckily, the headaches usually fade as the weather front moves in and then through. Not my favorite, driving in the rain, but I probably will be when I head for my early afternoon acupuncture appointment.

And that is pretty much my excitement for the day. Time to get a couple hundred steps in the house, since it's still dark outside, and then laundry and yoga. Corey put that casserole together for dinner last night, but it needs a couple hours in the oven, so we had a quick frozen pizza last night, and I'll put the casserole in about 4 to give it time to bake for our dinner tonight. I'm looking forward to a nice quiet day today.

Later, y'all,
Love,
Lisa in AR

PS - Just a couple of shouts to our MIAs - Rori, Michelle NV, KJ, April and a few others. Hope you're all OK, we know you're busy, especially those with kids, grandkids, etc., that you're taking care of, but want you to know we're thinking of you.

I would love to talk with her,I will send her a card with a Amazon g.c.in it .just because I love her anyway..
But she wont even attempt to call or even acknowledge that im around..
She was my first grandbaby and always will be..I can't believe I will have 4 grandkids by October.. well im dressed and am all antibioticed up..think I will bring my in ear headphones and listen to music while they do all the mess in my mouth..plus im asking for N02.

Kim ... family can be so dysfunctional. Hugs

Allie ... for decades I sent gifts to my two nieces that we no longer saw due to a very nasty divorce situation. Never heard a reply. Never even knew if they got the gifts. I reached out every year. Christmas. Easter. Valentine's Day. Birthdays. Nothing. And I almost stopped. My husband asked me why I was sending gifts. Was it to receive acknowledgement or to show them they were thought of and loved. So I kept sending the gifts. And then, one year, one of the girls ... then in her 20s ... reached out! She's shared a lot since then and I feel blessed that we now have a relationship! Choosing love is never wrong.

Beth

GodMomKim wrote: »

Hi Gals,
Birthdays and other stuff…. Ok this is kinda long and could be taken as “judgy” I guess this just hit a nerve with me… so please know that I love you just the way you are!

All the comments about Birthday gifts and conditional love are hard for me. One of my childhood memories is my mother saying “I will love you more if……” and often the “…..” were things I just did not feel capable of completing. So …if you were thinner, ….if you got along with your siblings more …..if you got all A’s …..if you were prettier. I only remember a few times being told “I love you” with no if. And my mom is the same now. The only saving grace was my Dad not only said I love you but he’d say “I love you just the way you are.”

And sometimes Mom managed to add the “if” without saying it directly.

My behavior is not/was not always great, but I have learned with my nephew and god kids to even at the toughest moments to say I love you! With no conditions attached.

And when we need to talk about behavior to have that conversation often with words like “so tell me about how that ended up happening” or “I would like to understand how you made that decision”. I have heard the back story on so many occasions, and been able to step in with suggestions on how not to have that happen again, or to step in where an adult is need to control a bad situation with a teacher or other child.

Those “kids” are 24, 26 and 30 now and I get the calls about work challenges, crazy co-workers or bosses with comments like I am so angry I need to talk though this decision. But they know they are loved “just the way they are”

We each are so much more than our behavior and if we are not listened to and cared about we learn to not trust, to build up walls to protect ourselves.

Love ya all,
Kim in N. California

@Kim I’m with you. Much the same things but NEVER heard my Dad say he loved me. Mom never did until I was an adult. I just read the various comments on here and think “I’m glad they had that growing up” or, “I’m glad for what they do or say” and move on.

Know that I love you all and the most important part: BELIEVE you all love me back!

love from New Mexico, RVRita

NP rang just before I set off to say she wasn't qualified to do the brachial test! I still went up there to have the bloods done for the Ramipril. She said she would reschedule, but I suggested we ask the doctor as it doesn't seem necessary now. So will wait to hear.
She was very sweet. Her dad had recently had his knee replaced through the NHS, but through a private local hospital. We talked about pain management and my cruise decisions. So, I will talk to the ANP on the 25th, who she said was amazing. She said I definitely had enough medical reasons to cancel on the insurance.
Had a little cry just now. Beth's story about her niece made me cry. Just feel weepy.
The docs is only 100 yards away and I limped every step.

Looking forward to seeing all the family at Shandiz. I wonder if Bea will be wearing her dress. We will go on the bus.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

I’ve read through but didn’t make a lot of notes.

Kim - I am sorry you grew up without unconditional love from your mom.
You sure know how to give it.

Beth - that’s what I do with most of my family in NB, I don’t send gifts or cards every holiday, but I try to fairly regularly.

Allie - I’m so happy to see you are sending Carmine a card, she may not say anything now but it might make a difference later.

Heather - I’m so sorry you didn’t have better news.

I have been having classes in the afternoons this week and it’s completely turned my days around.
The last three days we have had presentations by Behaviour Analysts, one thing I learned is that we think of behaviour as bad, very rarely good. In actuality though even our act of answering the phone or not answering the phone when it rings is a behaviour. Neither good nor bad, just neutral.

What we refer to as bad behaviour, they are changing the term to “distressed behaviour”, the theory is that no child sets out to behave badly some type of distress happened to cause it.
It is our job to find out the reason.
One example given, was a little boy (non verbal) that every morning from 730-735 every morning would have a terrible tantrum, then it stopped except for a couple days a week.
It turned out that if the curtains were opened he saw other school busses go by and thought he missed his bus, his behaviour stopped when his bus arrived. The reason that it changed to only certain days was that Mom started working and Dad didn’t open the curtains.
They talked to the bus drivers. His bus driver out special decorations on it so he learned the others weren’t his bus and he didn’t miss it, the other drivers out signs in the window telling him they weren’t his bus.

I am finding this so fascinating, it makes me think back to every time a child I knew had a behaviour issue and how I may be mishandled it.

Off to class, ceramics this evening so probably won’t be able to catch up until tomorrow morning.

Tracey in Edmonton

Back from acupuncture, the storm held off long enough for me to beat the rain home (just barely). Big fat raindrops were hitting the car as I got home, but now it's just dark out there at 3:20 p.m. Lots of rain to the west headed our way, it looks like.

Good stuff on relationships based in love without conditions or expectations. All well said... not much here to add.

Going to curl up with a good book, I think, and enjoy the rain as much as I can. We're under a tornado watch, but the cooler the temperature gets, the better, and it's dropping fast. It's that collision of cold wind and hot air that gets things rotating. Fingers crossed nothing major.

Love y'all,
Lisa in AR

Absolutely lovely birthday dinner with Bea and the family. She was wearing the dress and the bolero.

We all had a delicious kebab type meal, with salad, rice , and sauces. At the end they play Happy Birthday music, and bring on a cake with a Roman candle.

Here we all are. Apart from DDIL who took the photo.

Here's DDIL. And John.




My son drove the kids home and came back to pick us up. Very kind.

Tomorrow John is picking Edie up from school later, because she has a dance class. She will be staying the night with us, because Bea has a performance in Eastbourne. I'm going to do something with gluten free gnocchi.

On Monday we are going over to babysit Bea, because Edie has a dance performance at The Dôme. Today she came from a football match that they lost 11 - 0. :laugh: The other team were much older!

So, a lovely evening to take my mind off things.

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx