My gf
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sollyn23l2 wrote: »She's not your friend. Cruel thing to say.
Depending on the context of the conversation, potentially disagree. If the people closest to us can’t point out something true about our health — and at this point culturally some people even think doctors don’t have the right—where does that leave us? Now, if this was done in a cruel way to cause emotional hurt, of course there’s more to it.
You have to want to do this for yourself! If it’s not important to you, may end up more difficult than you hope - and it’s already difficult.
If I was drinking too much alcohol, I think my spouse would have the right to bring it up. If I was way overtraining - running myself terribly skinny and tired - he would have the right to bring it up. So to me… if it’s done out of concern (and not spite or ridicule), it’s a go.
I could see this... if somehow someone you cared about didn't realize they were fat... for example they talk about being thin and very healthy but are actually 250 lbs.... but honestly, I think most heavy people realize they're heavy, and are aware of their own health issues.
As a total OT aside, I didn’t realize how fat I was until I started culling a collection of 30,000 digital family photos a couple weeks ago. I was appalled looking at myself. At the time, I thought I was totally rocking the leggings and tunic look. I probably could have used someone to tell me that, although I would have been crushed/hurt/angry/in denial to hear it.
No, we don’t always realize we’re fat versus “pleasingly plump”, especially when it creeps up on us over decades.
The same grey cells that gift us with body dysmorphia when we lose, convince us otherwise in the other direction.1 -
springlering62 wrote: »sollyn23l2 wrote: »She's not your friend. Cruel thing to say.
Depending on the context of the conversation, potentially disagree. If the people closest to us can’t point out something true about our health — and at this point culturally some people even think doctors don’t have the right—where does that leave us? Now, if this was done in a cruel way to cause emotional hurt, of course there’s more to it.
You have to want to do this for yourself! If it’s not important to you, may end up more difficult than you hope - and it’s already difficult.
If I was drinking too much alcohol, I think my spouse would have the right to bring it up. If I was way overtraining - running myself terribly skinny and tired - he would have the right to bring it up. So to me… if it’s done out of concern (and not spite or ridicule), it’s a go.
I could see this... if somehow someone you cared about didn't realize they were fat... for example they talk about being thin and very healthy but are actually 250 lbs.... but honestly, I think most heavy people realize they're heavy, and are aware of their own health issues.
As a total OT aside, I didn’t realize how fat I was until I started culling a collection of 30,000 digital family photos a couple weeks ago. I was appalled looking at myself. At the time, I thought I was totally rocking the leggings and tunic look. I probably could have used someone to tell me that, although I would have been crushed/hurt/angry/in denial to hear it.
No, we don’t always realize we’re fat versus “pleasingly plump”, especially when it creeps up on us over decades.
The same grey cells that gift us with body dysmorphia when we lose, convince us otherwise in the other direction.
I too was completely unaware of how large I really was, way back in the day before I first began my first attempt at weight loss. (Back in my Weight Watchers days)
My husband never mentioned it. He loved me no matter what I looked like.
And no one else ever mentioned it either.
Including my doctor…. And they probably should have, at least once.
I remember we had a Ford F150 at the time. My wake up call was when I couldn’t fit the seatbelt around myself.
I bought a treadmill. “For my son and husband” I told myself. But I was absolutely shocked that I couldn’t walk a quarter mile on it.
We didn’t have a scale in the house. So I have no idea what my highest weight was.
But I am pretty sure it was over 300.
I loved that treadmill. Burned the motor out on it…. 🫣🤣
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She's not your friend. Cruel thing to say.
Depending on the context of the conversation, potentially disagree. If the people closest to us can’t point out something true about our health — and at this point culturally some people even think doctors don’t have the right—where does that leave us? Now, if this was done in a cruel way to cause emotional hurt, of course there’s more to it.
You have to want to do this for yourself! If it’s not important to you, may end up more difficult than you hope - and it’s already difficult.
If I was drinking too much alcohol, I think my spouse would have the right to bring it up. If I was way overtraining - running myself terribly skinny and tired - he would have the right to bring it up. So to me… if it’s done out of concern (and not spite or ridicule), it’s a go.
We don't have a lot to go on here (less than a dozen words from OP) but "my gf called me fat" doesn't sound like "I'm worried about how all that excess weight is affecting your health."3 -
And OP was a flybye - created account, 1 post same day, has not returned since.2
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Adventurista wrote: »And OP was a flybye - created account, 1 post same day, has not returned since.
My suspicious paranoid side is beginning to suspect that some of these posts are content farming for diet and exercise blogs.3 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »Adventurista wrote: »And OP was a flybye - created account, 1 post same day, has not returned since.
My suspicious paranoid side is beginning to suspect that some of these posts are content farming for diet and exercise blogs.
IMO, if they're harvesting content here to post elsewhere, that's maybe not all bad: Higher quality crop here than in most of the blogosphere.
I still wonder if OP was . . . like 15, or something. Maybe not. But.1 -
drop the weight and drop the girlfriend.0
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Or someone who simply needed to vent lol. And then carried on as per usual.4
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springlering62 wrote: »Or someone who simply needed to vent lol. And then carried on as per usual.
The problem with being paranoid is how can you tell when they’re not spying on you? 0 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »springlering62 wrote: »Or someone who simply needed to vent lol. And then carried on as per usual.
The problem with being paranoid is how can you tell when they’re not spying on you?
By checking their last login date to the boards lol. I do that a lot because feels like I pour heart and soul into these posts - as do you, Margaret- and it breaks my heart to see so many one visit wonders.0
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