Arrogance vs Self Confidence

2

Replies

  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Definitely not arrogant. Don't let her jealousy get to you.
  • KayakAngel
    KayakAngel Posts: 397 Member
    My impression is that you can't control how someone else takes your comments. To this coworker, maybe she thought it was arrogant, or she was jealous, whatever. But someone else will hear you say the same thing, and you become her inspiration to get healthy. That's the way I tend to think of it. But maybe I'm arrogant?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

    People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
    I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

    People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

    Love your signature!
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

    People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

    These are two paragraphs that spew truth with every word.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Some great feedback here already. Others have listed the definitions of the words being compared. I think it's important to note two things: 1) arrogance implies a comparison to others - that you are better/more deserving/etc. 2) how you are perceived is often not how you intend to be perceived.

    The problem is the intertwining of #1 and #2. As Contrarian eloquently noted, how someone perceives you being proud of your accomplishments can feel weird, or even as some kind of comparison to their own accomplishments. Is that arrogant if they perceive it as arrogant? Sure it is. To them.

    There are plenty of well-meaning people that will tell you what you did was not arrogant. But it doesn't really matter. It doesn't change how you felt about the interaction, nor does it change how your co-worker felt about the interaction. Each of you had different experiences. Life goes on.

    For what it's worth, I think you've done some amazing things and have every right to shout from the rooftops about your accomplishments. But that doesn't mean some roof dwellers won't think you are arrogant for doing so.
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
    I think there is a fine line. Should you be proud of your hard work? Absolutely. Having said that, you need to choose your audience for discussing your accomplishments carefully. If someone I didn't know very well starting talking about how much they liked their legs/arms/abs/whatever, I wouldn't tell them that I thought they were arrogant, but I would think it was kind of weird.

    People who aren't interested in fitness don't understand that we are making comparisons to how we used to look, but rather, they see it as us bigging ourselves up and possibly showing off. I know that wasn't your intention here, but it could have come across that way.

    ^^ This
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    It's not a question of arrogance or self confidence - it's just you being proud of yourself. What's wrong with that? Good for you!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I don't think that's arrogance at all. It doesn't even sound like bragging. It's good to like things about yourself. Now you know who not to express that to, unfortunately.
  • 2_Up
    2_Up Posts: 50
    There was nothing wrong with what you said. There are a lot of people who wish they were fit and will be jealous of those that are fit. You should be proud about what you've accomplished and I don't think you were being arrogant at all. You making a statement about something you're proud about should be something a good friend reinforces, not something they tear you down for making.

    I'd just not talk to her about your accomplishments with this person any longer because it's obvious she is envious and jaded about your accomplishments. People can get very mean and nasty when it comes to trying to become healthy because they want that for themselves and they direct their hate they have for not doing it for themselves to those that took the initiative to better themselves.

    Co-workers talk trash to me all the time since I started dieting saying things like "I think its funny you eat the way you do, guys shouldn't care about what they eat... they just eat whatever they want!" or they call me "Lunch-Box" because they all order out and I bring a small cooler of stuff from home with me with my healthy dinners etc. The people that say these things are not in shape and they try to get me to cheat on my diet all the time by leaving pizza/donuts/soda on my desk etc. I learned to ignore these people and I only speak to like minded people when it comes to fitness/health.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I have learned the hard way that most people I interact with just don't want to hear my success stories. I have very few close friends where I feel comfortable enough to "brag." And with them, it's not bragging. But I find a lot of people's threshold for self-confidence in others is quite low.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Well, just move on from there, nothing you can really do about it.

    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
    Being proud of your hard work is NOT arrogant. You deserve to to enjoy your new transformation so don't let anyone make you feel bad for liking what you see in the mirror!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    My Grandmother said;
    "No one will tell you to wash your face so you look better than they do".

    It is unfortunate that most people are incapably of knowing what to say to someone that works out or watches what they eat.
  • RocketsGirl75
    RocketsGirl75 Posts: 648
    what you said was simply you being proud of your hard work paying off. it was not arrogant! now when you are constantly showing off and talking about how wonderful you are then that is arrongance. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of the hard work you have done and seeing the results! screw her! loves ya babe!
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    So.... being proud of hard-earned success is now defined as arrogance and she is full of herself? This is a newfound success, so there is going to be a "look at me" period of time to be proud of her accomplishments. And, because she posted this thread, asking for opinions, she suddenly has no character? Why? Because she was not certain whether it should be considered arrogance or self confidence or the fact that she wrote it at all? Because, in my opinion, the fact that she even had to question it shows me that while she is proud, she is also still humble. I too am very open and honest, to the point and direct, but I still do not see how she has no character.
  • KENNY1957
    KENNY1957 Posts: 89 Member
    I like pa2be32 advice...Drill her every day....untill she doesn;t come around any more!!!!!!!:grumble:
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Because, in my opinion, the fact that she even had to question it shows me that while she is proud, she is also still humble.

    Well said.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • KENNY1957
    KENNY1957 Posts: 89 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    You actually believe your self don't you........Bet you got degrees hangin all over your wall!!!!!
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    You actually believe your self don't you........Bet you got degrees hangin all over your wall!!!!!

    Who is this in response to?
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    You actually believe your self don't you........Bet you got degrees hangin all over your wall!!!!!

    Who is this in response to?


    I assumed me, since he already attacked me for defending the OP. But, it really makes no sense, since I just thought what you said was freaking hilarious.
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    This is not related to the original post, but I think it's kind of odd that when one person has a different opinion than the majority of the crowd, everyone attacks said person.

    Kind of sad.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    I assumed me, since he already attacked me for defending the OP. But, it really makes no sense, since I just thought what you said was freaking hilarious.

    Thanks He needs to learn how to use quotes.

    I sent you a PM. I hope you read and respond.
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    This is not related to the original post, but I think it's kind of odd that when one person has a different opinion than the majority of the crowd, everyone attacks said person.

    Kind of sad.

    I don't attack or have problems with different opinions I welcome them or I wouldn't have posted a topic.....But having said that....I don't like people questioning my character.....:flowerforyou:
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Next time you see this girl, I say go way over board, tell her how awesome the rest of your body is. They just trot off and say something to get her going even more.

    Here is a different approach for your next conversation with her.

    Say "who knew you could get THIS HOT by eating nothing but M&Ms and drinking Pepsi"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    You actually believe your self don't you........Bet you got degrees hangin all over your wall!!!!!

    Lol and you obviously didn't get a degree in reading comprehension
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    This is not related to the original post, but I think it's kind of odd that when one person has a different opinion than the majority of the crowd, everyone attacks said person.

    Kind of sad.
    I disagree with people all the time and i rarely get attacked.

    (This is me disagreeing with you, thus attacking you. I didn't want you to feel left out)
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member


    Thanks He needs to learn how to use quotes.
    The quote function sucks.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    This is not related to the original post, but I think it's kind of odd that when one person has a different opinion than the majority of the crowd, everyone attacks said person.

    Kind of sad.

    This happens a lot.
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