I know this has got to be a rare post
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Ok Zilla, I think you are stressed and you have to sit back and really think about this. Sometimes, when you post questions on here, people seem to sound like the are lecturing when they are only trying to help. Seems like this one may be going this way = ) It seems as though, your kids are old enough to talk about this. I would sit down with both of them and explain to them the situation. That you have a lot on your plate and you need their help. Teenages are inherently self-centered, but often if you point out what you need and why you need it, they are willing to help.0
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I am not a single mom, but my husband travels A LOT so on my own a lot. I use workout DVD's in the AM. I get up at 5 AM, half a cup of coffee and then Insanity here I come. Good luck0
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at home workouts for sure-my stand by for those I have no me time is 10 minute trainer or 30 day shred....good short workouts. Definitely some help from the kids would help you - it's only fair since you all make the mess, right?! I find it hard to find the time and I have my husband here too...kudos to you for making it all come together! My world too revolves around my family.0
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Well I'm not a single dad, but a married mom of 3 (well 2 in the house now) and a live in mother-in-law. My husband and mother-in-law don't eat what I eat. My older son doesn't eat what either one of us eats so I find myself making 3 different dishes sometimes! I have found workign out on my lunch break to be the best time to work out.
Also, I try to prep things on Sunday to make making dinners easier during the week and that helps free up some time. I also grill a LOT!! Easy, not much clean up and you can cook healthy on the grill too. Can you take your kids out for a walk just after/before dinner? Ride bikes together? Skate? These are a few things I've also incorporated that we can all do and have a good time and it's good quality time too when you can incorporate/include your kids into exercising with you. They just think it's fun and all the while they too are getting that important exercise they also need!0 -
I applaud your efforts to do right by your kids. You aren't alone out there, I know a lot of single dads trying to do everything - and a few who just put in an appearance when they want to.
How old is your daughter? Is she old enough to supervise your son at the local pool/rec centre, or even home, while you get in a quick workout? If you used to be a weight lifter then you must know some exercises you can do at home without extra equipment if cost is an issue. I know one lady on here who does deep knee bends and lunges while she cleans - and if there is an easy way to get the cleaning done - she avoids it and does it the hard way. Adds to the workout.
I understand the need to be there for your kids, and you do have to keep the house up and the shopping done because it snowballs soooo fast when you let it slide..... but you also have the responsibility of teaching them about personal health and welfare as well. So you need to make them and yourself aware that your personal health is important too! Our community has a local "single dads" group that do a lot of things together and share some responsibilities between themselves. Do you have something like that in your community?
And, you have the community here to bounce things off of when it gets rough.:flowerforyou:0 -
Ok, I'll try to respond to all in one post. I already don't get enough sleep from being the only adult and doing everything, single moms know what I mean. If you don't have the energy to workout because of lack of sleep how good would your workout be. As for the gym, I have one, all free weights and cable machine from power lifting years(600lbs worth). As for coaching, I coached fastpitch travel softball at the highest level, coaching doesn't burn enough calories. My daughter is 17 and a junior in HS, my son is 11 in middle school. I guess I will have to fore go some sleep to get it done. I run a business for my X in-laws they are dealing with cancer right now. I get no breaks at work. If you can help get homework done( AP calc,AP bio,etc.), do dinner for them,laundry baths in bed by 8pm, wait til they get older. I also can't afford gyms, dude. I don't live with my mom either, I have a house and make payments. We live in the country away from others too.
As a former single mother (they are grown now), those kids are old enough to help with some chores. Both are old enough to help with yard work and dishes. And the 17 yo can do laundry and help with dinner, and babysit the 11 yo while you workout and/or help with his homework. And as for baths, well they are certainly old to bathe themselves and that might be a good time for dad to pump some iron. With kids of that age there is no reason you should be doing everything yourself.0 -
Thanks for all the suggestions, I probably shouldn't have posted it. It is very stressful and thats a big problem for me. I just want to be healthy and take care of my kids. I wanna be there when my kids graduate from college, I wanna go see my daughter play college ball. I wanna be around for grandkids when I have some. I know these are a lot of wants but I have been giving all my life and want something in return. I do appreciate all the suggestions but most of them won't work in my situation.0
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Thanks for all the suggestions, I probably shouldn't have posted it. It is very stressful and thats a big problem for me. I just want to be healthy and take care of my kids. I wanna be there when my kids graduate from college, I wanna go see my daughter play college ball. I wanna be around for grandkids when I have some. I know these are a lot of wants but I have been giving all my life and want something in return. I do appreciate all the suggestions but most of them won't work in my situation.
If health is your goal you might try something that you can all do together such as hiking or bike riding, or if you have access to a pool, swimming. It wouldn't keep those muscles in your pic, but it would keep all of you healthy. When my girls were young I used to run and they'd come along on their bikes or rollerblades. It's hard to work exercise in when you have full responsibility for children, but it's not impossible.0 -
If health is your goal you might try something that you can all do together such as hiking or bike riding, or if you have access to a pool, swimming. It wouldn't keep those muscles in your pic, but it would keep all of you healthy. When my girls were young I used to run and they'd come along on their bikes or rollerblades. It's hard to work exercise in when you have full responsibility for children, but it's not impossible.
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No its not impossible, but time to do the things you suggest is not possible. My kids are involved in so much( their choice) and I support them. I'm not complaining about these things preventing me from working out, I don't want to deviate from what they need either. They don't have time either to help much because we are always on the go.0 -
I use the track at my kids school while they are at practice, atleast I get the cardio in that way.
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I'm sure someone has already mentioned this, but find a gym that has child care. I am not a single mom, but am the one that does everything that you mentioned. It's the ONLY way I can work out.0
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Single mom here...and I feel your pain on trying to find time to work out or just really find any kind of "me-time". I have my Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 DVD & I usually do that in the morning before we get ready for the day or before I get dinner started at night. My kids are also in karate classes on Saturdays; so I will drop them off & do my 1.7 mile walk before heading back to get them. I quiz my son on his spelling during my DVD workouts in the evening & then help both of them with their homework while getting dinner ready. After dinner & baths, it's time to read with my son. My kids are younger (almost 10 & almost 7)...so we can walk down to the playground (about 1/2 mile from our apt) on nice days after work. Their dad takes them most Saturdays; so that frees up some time, which is a plus.
Something you can try is to spend one day on the weekend with the kids prepping meals for the week. That way, all you have to do is pop them in the oven to heat through & you can grab a quick workout before dinner. I can't afford gyms either...so I walk, which you can do with the kids. I have my workout DVD & squeeze that in when I can. I also walk before work & on my lunch break. It's hard; but you can find a half hour here & there to squeeze in a quick workout. It may not be exactly what you want; but something is better than nothing, yeah?
Just remember...You CAN do this! :flowerforyou:0 -
First off, I must give you KUDOS for being a DEDICATED single dad:flowerforyou: ...rare gem you are, and I didn't read all the posts on this thread but I'm sure a lot of advice came mostly from women, lol.
I'm not single but stay at home with my kids every day(home schooling) so it really is hard when housework is there CONSTANTLY:sad: , but when I do get my workouts in, it's usually when I have put the kids to bed as I have never been to a gym:noway: (just seems impossible-not enough hours in the day), and I can work out pretty much in peace granted that no one decides to sneak out of bed
but if I were you, after all chores are done(:yawn: hopefully you'll have the strength left), workouts at night rock!
Good luck to you and you have my sincere admiration!!!
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I tried involving the kids in my workouts but they are active in their sports also.:grumble: PS the rare part is being a man with this problem.
For one...this is not rare. Single mothers have to deal with this too.
How old are your kids? You have them active in sports, why not run around the practice field? Work out while the do. Another option I just started today is get up before they do...I am working in using a homegym and I use my exercise bike. Also, remember that cleaning is Movement. Record it.0 -
It must be a lot of work no doubt about it. I have kids too and its hard enought with both parents around. What works for me is HIIT. I get my daily workouts from www.bodyrock.tv If you can spear 10-15 minutes you can get a great workout. Best shape I've ever been and no gyms. Its a big sacrifice u r making 4 the kids and thats admirable.0
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It is rare for a man to have this problem because its usually the woman with it, thats what I meant.I tried involving the kids in my workouts but they are active in their sports also.:grumble: PS the rare part is being a man with this problem.
For one...this is not rare. Single mothers have to deal with this too.
How old are your kids? You have them active in sports, why not run around the practice field? Work out while the do. Another option I just started today is get up before they do...I am working in using a homegym and I use my exercise bike. Also, remember that cleaning is Movement. Record it.0 -
It almost seems like you're not really willing to look at options that people are suggesting. I'm a single mom with a full time job, plus I run a home-based business and my daughter is involved in sports and other activities, yet I still manage to find time to work out. Where there's a will, there's a way. Does your daughter drive at 17? If so, you can put her in charge of grocery shopping and running errands and driving your son places. It'll teach her to be responsible as she becomes an adult. Sit down with her and teach her how to budget with whatever money you set aside for groceries. There is no reason why you can't give your kids more responsibility at their ages. My 8 year old folds all of her laundry and puts it away. It's all about delegating these things. Have a weekly chore list for your kids and designate a day or time each day to spend 15 minutes just cleaning or doing these chores. It's unrealistic for you to do everything that being a single parent demands, and since your children are in high school and jr. high, they are more than qualified to help you out.
Of course, none of this will help you if you're not willing to let go of some of the responsibilities that you hold. Sometimes you'll have a pink sock from a red item accidentally being tossed in with the whites...sometimes some things might be forgotten at the store...sometimes the laundry might get wrinkled...you've gotta let go of that perfectionism and teach your kids to be responsible, and as these mistakes happen, they'll learn from them and get it right the next time, which will free up SO much of your time. It's great that you are a supportive father, but you're in need of some balance here. Make a weekly plan or have a family calendar where everyone puts in their activities. Then schedule your exercise around those activities. You may not have a full hour or 2 to work out, but 30 minutes is better than nothing....and 10 minute spurts here and there is better than nothing. Be firm about last minute activities that come up...tell your kids that if it's not on there by a certain time that they risk you not being there. That is not sending the message that they're not important...it tells them that you have things you need to do as well. I bet you your kids understand that you've got to preserve yourself and do things for yourself too. Use your kids as your reason to find time for yourself, not as an excuse of why you can't.0 -
It almost seems like you're not really willing to look at options that people are suggesting. I'm a single mom with a full time job, plus I run a home-based business and my daughter is involved in sports and other activities, yet I still manage to find time to work out. Where there's a will, there's a way. Does your daughter drive at 17? If so, you can put her in charge of grocery shopping and running errands and driving your son places. It'll teach her to be responsible as she becomes an adult. Sit down with her and teach her how to budget with whatever money you set aside for groceries. There is no reason why you can't give your kids more responsibility at their ages. My 8 year old folds all of her laundry and puts it away. It's all about delegating these things. Have a weekly chore list for your kids and designate a day or time each day to spend 15 minutes just cleaning or doing these chores. It's unrealistic for you to do everything that being a single parent demands, and since your children are in high school and jr. high, they are more than qualified to help you out.
Of course, none of this will help you if you're not willing to let go of some of the responsibilities that you hold. Sometimes you'll have a pink sock from a red item accidentally being tossed in with the whites...sometimes some things might be forgotten at the store...sometimes the laundry might get wrinkled...you've gotta let go of that perfectionism and teach your kids to be responsible, and as these mistakes happen, they'll learn from them and get it right the next time, which will free up SO much of your time. It's great that you are a supportive father, but you're in need of some balance here. Make a weekly plan or have a family calendar where everyone puts in their activities. Then schedule your exercise around those activities. You may not have a full hour or 2 to work out, but 30 minutes is better than nothing....and 10 minute spurts here and there is better than nothing. Be firm about last minute activities that come up...tell your kids that if it's not on there by a certain time that they risk you not being there. That is not sending the message that they're not important...it tells them that you have things you need to do as well. I bet you your kids understand that you've got to preserve yourself and do things for yourself too. Use your kids as your reason to find time for yourself, not as an excuse of why you can't.
Well said! That gave me a much needed kick in the pants too!! 0 -
checkout bodyrockers.tv. This workouts are short but INTENSE and designed for people that workout at home. I just discovered this site the other day and the stuff they do is amazing! I am incorporating it into my workouts which incidentally, I get up and do at 4am while my young'uns are still asleep. Not easy but well worth it! Hang in there and you are doing great - not easy being a single anything!!0
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It almost seems like you're not really willing to look at options that people are suggesting. I'm a single mom with a full time job, plus I run a home-based business and my daughter is involved in sports and other activities, yet I still manage to find time to work out. Where there's a will, there's a way. Does your daughter drive at 17? If so, you can put her in charge of grocery shopping and running errands and driving your son places. It'll teach her to be responsible as she becomes an adult. Sit down with her and teach her how to budget with whatever money you set aside for groceries. There is no reason why you can't give your kids more responsibility at their ages. My 8 year old folds all of her laundry and puts it away. It's all about delegating these things. Have a weekly chore list for your kids and designate a day or time each day to spend 15 minutes just cleaning or doing these chores. It's unrealistic for you to do everything that being a single parent demands, and since your children are in high school and jr. high, they are more than qualified to help you out.
Of course, none of this will help you if you're not willing to let go of some of the responsibilities that you hold. Sometimes you'll have a pink sock from a red item accidentally being tossed in with the whites...sometimes some things might be forgotten at the store...sometimes the laundry might get wrinkled...you've gotta let go of that perfectionism and teach your kids to be responsible, and as these mistakes happen, they'll learn from them and get it right the next time, which will free up SO much of your time. It's great that you are a supportive father, but you're in need of some balance here. Make a weekly plan or have a family calendar where everyone puts in their activities. Then schedule your exercise around those activities. You may not have a full hour or 2 to work out, but 30 minutes is better than nothing....and 10 minute spurts here and there is better than nothing. Be firm about last minute activities that come up...tell your kids that if it's not on there by a certain time that they risk you not being there. That is not sending the message that they're not important...it tells them that you have things you need to do as well. I bet you your kids understand that you've got to preserve yourself and do things for yourself too. Use your kids as your reason to find time for yourself, not as an excuse of why you can't.
^^^^ well said0
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