How soon do you delete people that have not logged in

mommymovingmountains
mommymovingmountains Posts: 192 Member
edited October 3 in Chit-Chat
I have not logged in for about a week because a friend suffered a horrible tragedy and honestly I could have easily slipped into my old eating patterns with comfort foods but I came back and logged in only to find many people "unfriended" me. While I understand wanting to focus on friends that are committed and log in daily I would think those that are gone for a month or more might be subject to "unfriending." I am curious, what is your time limit?

I am ok with it though because I truly appreciate those friends that have supported me through an absence....thank you friends :)
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Replies

  • mommymovingmountains
    mommymovingmountains Posts: 192 Member
    I should have posted this in the question section but I believe that support is one of the keys to success :)
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
    If you will be gone for any length of time you need to note this on your PROFILE wall so people know you will be back eventually.

    I delete after 30 days inactive unless I see an explanation.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. I don't think I'd delete anyone for not logging in. I don't delete my friends in real life for not talking to them for a week.
  • Missmaggieann
    Missmaggieann Posts: 68 Member
    I don't have a time limit on this, actually if I notice that ysomeone hasnt logged in I send a message to see if all is well. I may unfriend someone for not being supportive or rude but not for not being able to log in.
  • defygravity531
    defygravity531 Posts: 289 Member
    Unless I know them in person, like my boyfriend or my friend Gretchen who are both on here, I delete people after 2 weeks or so of them not logging in.

    I want to be friends with people who are as dedicated and motivated as I am.
  • crazylizz
    crazylizz Posts: 47 Member
    Interesting! I never thought of unfriending some one just because they hadn't logged in.
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
    Um, I've yet to delete someone for not logging in for awhile. It's not like they are hurting anything....
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    I just went through last night and deleted everyone that hadn't logged in over 6 months. A week can happen to anyone...life happens sometimes a week at a time!
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
    I have never unfriended anyone even if they have slipped and haven't logged in...we are only human and friendship should be alittle stronger than that
  • Drunkadelic
    Drunkadelic Posts: 948 Member
    Interesting! I never thought of unfriending some one just because they hadn't logged in.

    I know right? sheesh rough crowd!
  • marathonmom72
    marathonmom72 Posts: 191 Member
    I had a similar situation while I was gone on vacation. Different circumstances pop up in people's lives. Sometimes you are able to be supportive to others, but sometimes you are the one needing support. I never randomly delete someone. When I've noticed that they haven't logged on in awhile, I send them a private message asking if they are alright and leaving a word of encouragement. Once I've heard back from them I can make a decision based on the response I get. This isn't just about what I get from everyone, it's about what I am able to give too.
  • tambink
    tambink Posts: 349
    I wait for a month then I delete because sometimes there is reasons people cant be on for a week or a few days.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend...completely understandable that you wouldn't care to log your food, or that you didn't have time to log into MFP!

    I typically give people about 30+ days before I delete them. People here seem to forget that sometimes "pals" will be absent from the site due to personal issues preventing them from logging in, or even people taking a vacation and not being able to track their calories because they don't have access to a computer with internet.

    My only other means for deleting a "friend" would be that I don't find them supportive, they consistently treat MFP as a personal networking site like Facebook (giving random stupid updates about nothing pertaining to being fit/eating healthy), or if they constantly mention inappropriate matters in their posts.

    :flowerforyou:

    edited to include that I also send them a message or write on their wall to ask if they're ok!
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
    I told people I would be gone for a month and still lost friends. I do not delete anyone to be honest becasue when they do come back they might need some extra support. I would rather be there for them and I find having the max number of active and supportive friends can be exhausting. It is nice to have a mix of people who are logging and chatting everyday and people who come on with good advice once in a while.

    I just remembered I did delete one person. There posts were just fishing for compliments and attention. Never real support so I deleted them.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    You can still be dedicated to losing weight without being on the computer daily. Vacations happen, visiting friends and family, and just plain life. Doesn't mean you aren't watching what you eat. You can have someone on the computer daily and not being dedicated to losing weight.
  • jlewis2896
    jlewis2896 Posts: 763 Member
    I'll delete people that log in inconsistently ONLY if they don't really offer support or I don't feel like I'm on the same 'wavelength' as them regarding nutrition and fitness.

    I accept all friend request, but I really like to limit my #of friends so that I can actually pay attention to what is going on in their lives. So deleting people who are inactive/inconsistent is a way for me to stay more focused on my other friends and offer better support.

    I am awfully sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Great job for getting back on the site!!
  • MaryK71
    MaryK71 Posts: 10
    Haven't deleted anyone yet as I only have a few friends on here. add me as a friend if you like. I am 39 and trying to get healthy before that big birthday coming up for me very soon. Hope your friend is doing better! If you were deleted, count it as a blessing.
  • cloneme_losehalf
    cloneme_losehalf Posts: 356 Member
    I don't "unfriend" anyone for months. I know there are reasons people can not post or log in. I do not choose the people I "friend" just so I can get a "wtg", "good job", "awesome", "nice burn" etc. They are choosen because we had the same goal in mind. I don't let who does or doesn't post worry me. I post what I can, when I can. I comment when I can, but I don't have time to comment to every post and I don't expect others to also. Just like one of my "friends" said today, if someone is only looking for me to be a daily cheering support to boost ego then they are not a match for me.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    It depends. If someone just added me like 2 days ago and then they don't log in for a week, I'll delete them. I just figure they tried out MFP and decided it wasn't for them. If someone has been my "friend" for a little while and has been supporting me and I them, then I wouldn't delete them. I might post on their page "how are you?" or something. but there are lots of people who just go add crazy and then quit mfp the next week. lol
  • mamaredhead
    mamaredhead Posts: 112
    Well, if anyone does NOT EVER give me feedback on my diary, my exercises and my posts I delete them. Time is not that much of a factor, because there are people that sometimes don't do much more for weeks than just logging their food or stay completely offline, just like you had to. Sorry to hear about your friend, btw. But if they don't seem interested in my work as much as I am trying to show interest in theirs -- goodbye. I don't need MANY friends but GOOD friends. Just like in real life.

    But whoever deleted you: You need the people in your life that need you in theirs, so don't be mad or sorry or disappointed. There's a whole bunch of us mfp-peeps still out there ready to give you support and be NEW friends to you if you want to and need to have more of us around.

    Good luck with your journey! Keep up the good work!!!
  • Ann_Marie_76
    Ann_Marie_76 Posts: 152 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy. I don't think I'd delete anyone for not logging in. I don't delete my friends in real life for not talking to them for a week.

    Good point! And I totally agree!! I don't delete anyone for taking a break.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
    I'll delete people ....if.... I don't feel like I'm on the same 'wavelength' as them regarding nutrition and fitness.


    and this. i've had a couple of "friends" who had really different weight loss strategies from mine so i didn't really feel like we could help each other out much.
  • lucky77sevens
    lucky77sevens Posts: 25
    I think it's funny that people delete because "they don't post on my wall or comment on my updates or haven't logged in, etc..." really people?!? Sometimes life happens, and sometimes after a long day @ work the last thing people want to do is sit down and comment on 20,30,40,50+ friends profiles....I agree that we are here for support, motivation and what not, but how supportive are these people "unfriending" because of such trivial issues?
  • lisa_lotte
    lisa_lotte Posts: 216
    I won't delete anyone unless they have not logged in for over a month. If it someone that I have spoken to regulary though I will keep them much longer than that - but for people I have not had much interation with I delete after a month :-)

    Lisa :flowerforyou:
  • foraMEthatiLOVE
    foraMEthatiLOVE Posts: 63
    I don't delete anyone based on how long they haven't logged in... Things happen and it does not hurt at all to have them in your friends list. I have however deleted a few people who would constantly post messages and updates on very personal events of their lives. I just didn't like to read things that did not contribute at all to my weight loss journey. I just didn't want this to become like facebook, so I delete them!
  • msh0530
    msh0530 Posts: 1,675 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad time, and hope things are getting better. I have never deleted anyone as a friend and don't know if I will. I have thought about deleting people who haven't logged in for a year, but then think "What if they come back and everyone has deserted them?" I figure they aren't hurting anything being on my friend list, and I would hate for them to think that no one cared if they came back. I have friends on here who haven't logged in for months or even over a year. I try to occasionally go through my friend list and write on the wall of anyone who I haven't seen in a while asking if all is well in their world. If they have been off longer than a few months, I usually quit writing on their wall and hope they will come back if they need to. I hope that you find a host of new supportive friends, and wish you all of the best on your journey!
  • becca_21
    becca_21 Posts: 100 Member
    I never delete due to inactivity. However, I DO delete people from time to time. I state openly on my profile that I delete people if there is no consistent contact. I don't "collect friends" and I see no reason to have 200 people to keep up with. If I delete someone, it's not meant to be offensive or rude, it's just due to a lack of connection. I keep people who have similar goals, interests, or that are a great support for me. I enjoy giving support and I don't think it's out of line to expect it in return.
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
    If a friend hasn't logged for 10-14, I usually check their profile to see if they're an explanation. If there's not and they weren't that active anyway, I usually delete them.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
    it depends...but mostly I do it after 10days (unless they say they are going away)...but someone I held onto for almost 2 months waiting...just waiting for them to come back :bigsmile: and they did :)

    I have even deleted real life friends :grumble: ...If you don't wanna change we can be FB/real life friends, but on MPF is about support! :drinker:
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I delete for not interacting with me at least every now and again, but not for a week of not logging, unless you just never said anything to me, especially when I tried with you.
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