A serious and frightening subject

Do people actually post fake things like this here? I am not up on the MFP forum culture.

Sometimes people do. They like to see if they can get a reaction. Of course, there's no way of knowing for sure if that's the case here or not. I surely hope not because that's just sick. But at the same time I kind of hope it is because that's a very scary situation that nobody should ever have to encounter.

My bestfriend is being stalked by a dangerous guy
...

Great advice here already.

I have a somewhat different concern that I haven't really seen explored. Are you sure your friend really wants this to stop? Often people in similar situations might not admit it (even to themselves), but they are getting something out of these kind of interactions.

I ask because you didn't say whether she has already contacted the police or reached out to anyone really. I know you said she is scared. You sound like a concerned friend trying to get support from others to convince your friend this guy is bad news. Is your friend convinced this guy is bad news? Know that you can be scared and thrilled at the same time - think haunted houses, roller coasters, etc. I'm not trying to paint your friend crazy, just pointing out that you may have a different battle on your hands than just a stalker.

Go to the police! Right now!

I've had a stalker before, I had no problems contacting the police immediately and they took me seriously. These people do not think right. He even told my co-workers he was my husband.

I'm a little puzzled by the part where you say he may be watching her sleep through a window. I can promise you, no one can see me sleep through my windows, not even by accident. Doesn't make sense????

Call the police, get a restraining order, if it just to get something on paper, then she needs to get a tazer or some type of weapon, b/c imo a restraining order is just a piece of paper if the guy is crazy enough it won't stop him. She needs to continue to ignore him. If she can maybe consider moving.

Tell her to buy a gun. Simple
I live in Texas and we live by the 2nd amendment.

A gun can easily be used against you.

then have more than 1!

step 1 - restraining order.

Step one is making it unequivocally clear to him that his attentions are absolutely not welcome, preferably in front of several witnesses.
Step two is a restraining order.

MFP has regular trolls my friend.

Nevertheless, someone else might find the advice useful; as the title says, this is a serious and frightening subject.

It's not as if the thread can go anywhere.

I'm trying to find him a girlfriend maybe that would help

If you think that your "finding him" a girlfriend would help, why not go out with him yourself?

I'm sure that would help things ever such a lot...

If this is fake and you are trolling, you're one sick fuk. But the good news is they have special hospitals with pretty white rooms and snuggly jackets for people like you.

wow thank you for assuming things... if I was gonna troll I'd troll about something funny, not stuff like this, this is not even funny at all, Im not even upsetting ppl for you to say I am trollin... either way thank you all for the advice, she is being stupid and dumb and immature she is talking about being friends again and then her becoming boring so that soon she can drop him again and he wont care as much, I'm trying to find him a girlfriend maybe that would help, if it was me I would have her scary stepdad patrol at night with his shotgun, I'd get a restraining order and buy a gun. I dont play games.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE KIDDING! You are 'trying to find him a girlfriend"??? .. and you call your friend 'stupid, dumb and immature"???? What part about this do you not understand. He is STALKING her and is showing disturbing behavior about wanting to see her dead.

I really am curious .. If you realize there is something disturbingly emotionally wrong with this guy .. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANT TO SET HIM WITH SOMEONE .. Only to have them experience the same psychotic behaviour. Do you comprehend ANY of what is happening?

You are naive if you think this is just bad behavior and is acting like a jerk .. It's MUCH MUCH more than that. It may develope into something you can not undo.

Stay away from this guy .. Do NOT I repeat DO NOT try to involve him in your life or anyone else's life until he gets some serious help. You are much too young and ill-equipped to handle this. THIS is not fantasy land where there is always a happy ending.

If MY daughter was involved with someone like this .. I would be ontop of the situation immediately! GET HER PARENTS INVOLVED .. They need to know what is going on, in order to be able to deal with this!

No gun for her. She is still trying to reason with this kid. She will be the type to point and talk. If you own a gun, the other person should be sporting a hole before they even realize you drew.

The police aren't going to take this seriously if she doesn't.

Bear mace. Make sure she doesn't point it back at herself in the process. Not being sarcastic, easy to do if she is lying prone. If he happens to have his dangly bits handy, spray those for good measure.

If she sees him, he gets it. No talking, no "please just leave me alone". She has to commit to busting him up ON SIGHT. People like him choose victims very carefully. She can try getting "more boring", or she can try not fitting the profile so well. Then he can post "I have been stalking a very scary girl, and I need (medical) help.

She needs to go to the police immediately.

Get a dog big or small. Not to attack him, but to alert her. Depending on the state, concealed carry permit. In a situation where he wants to kill her, nothing will stop him except her! The Police are a reactive force. Meaning if he intends to kill her, most likely they will be able to say they got the guy who killed her not prevent it from happening (no disrespect intended to police). Also if she chooses to get a self defense item, know how to use it and be prepared to use it. Think about what will happen if she uses it so she's not surprised.

FYI; Going to the police is the first thing she should do, so that when she is in court for killing this young man she has it documented that not only was he after her, but she was "in fear for her life".

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have seen the results up close and personal.

I don't think the girls in question here are adults..They are just kids. The young girl in question, is probably not old enough to get a gun permit, or even to buy a gun. She is probably not trained in self defence or emotionally or mentally prepared to stab someone either.

Speaking to the forum in general: If you are going advise someone to carry a weapon you should take into consideration their ability to actually control panic and use it in defence to take someone's life. Weapons are designed to kill .. not just distract, so your daddy can come and rescue you. As an adult .. sure, you could probably do it, in a heartbeat .. but a child .. completely different story. When, dealing with a child you have to think in terms of a child.

This is not the movies, people. This is real life!

How would you advise a poster if it was your daughter involved.

Both my sister and a friend have had to deal with stalkers, albeit at a considerably older age.

So because we're dealing with a minor living with family, we need to know dome details-

Apartment or house? Rented or owned? Obviously if her parents own the house, there's no possibility to leave, but there is a possibility to instal more security measures that have been talked about already. If they live in an apartment, according to one of the fair housing acts, criminal activity or harassment directed at the family or a family member is grounds for the family to move without having to pay any penalties to break the lease.

Report everything to the police. Everything. Before you even get a restraining order, call them, you want everything documented. They'll probably even talk to him as well. Hopefully, since we're still dealing with a young stalker, maybe that heat alone will be enough to get him to stop. If not, Restraining order.

Then, if she and her family can move, that would be step 3. That goes along with increasing security, re-keying all the locks, making sure the windows lock from the inside, changing their mailing address to a PO box, and changing all of their phone numbers. In case he gets a hold of a number somehow, it would be wise if she started going by her middle name or another nickname he wouldn't know or use. That way when anyone picks up the phone and a stranger on the other end asks for her without using her middle name, you know they're out of the loop and you hang up immediately.

Is she old enough to drive, or are we talking younger. Does she ride the bus? Can she take a different route or catch a ride home with someone she trusts?

Have her change her routine. If he's watching, try and be as random as possible to keep him off his game. You can request that the police do courtesy drive-throughs of the neighborhood. Especially since you suspect he's creeping around at night. Ask the neighbors to report anything they see to the police.

She needs to go to the police immediately.

Get a dog big or small. Not to attack him, but to alert her. Depending on the state, concealed carry permit. In a situation where he wants to kill her, nothing will stop him except her! The Police are a reactive force. Meaning if he intends to kill her, most likely they will be able to say they got the guy who killed her not prevent it from happening (no disrespect intended to police). Also if she chooses to get a self defense item, know how to use it and be prepared to use it. Think about what will happen if she uses it so she's not surprised.

FYI; Going to the police is the first thing she should do, so that when she is in court for killing this young man she has it documented that not only was he after her, but she was "in fear for her life".

Sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I have seen the results up close and personal.

I don't think the girls in question here are adults..They are just kids. The young girl in question, is probably not old enough to get a gun permit, or even to buy a gun. She is probably not trained in self defence or emotionally or mentally prepared to stab someone either.

Speaking to the forum in general: If you are going advise someone to carry a weapon you should take into consideration their ability to actually control panic and use it in defence to take someone's life. Weapons are designed to kill .. not just distract, so your daddy can come and rescue you. As an adult .. sure, you could probably do it, in a heartbeat .. but a child .. completely different story. When, dealing with a child you have to think in terms of a child.

This is not the movies, people. This is real life!

How would you advise a poster if it was your daughter involved.