Can Men and Women REALLY ever just bo friends?

124

Replies

  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    When Harry Met Sally is my favorite movie.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I had a conversation with my husband this morning. I go walking with my neighbor who is a guy, nice, make small talk and chit chat etc, never does or says anything weird or potentially sexual ever come up, our conversations today centered around Tilapia!
    My husband believes that it is impossible for men and women to have a friendship with out it ever getting complicated by emotions or sexuality. I think you can be friends with men or women. His words having to be edited, were basically men think with their "you know" and that this is just how things are. I was wondering what other peoples opinions on male/female friendships are.

    I have several male friends with whom sex never came up. They have been wonderful friends to me and it never felt weird. We liked each other but were not attracted to each other. And they were definitely straight and had girlfriends or wives (or both -- some I've known a long time, so I've seen them go through a few relationships!).

    I've even been alone with them in their homes or mine and it was as comfortable and platonic as being with female friends.

    Just because you are not attracted to them doesn't mean they are not attracted to you... Sex may have never come up, but it doesn't mean it wasn't thought about... We think about it A LOT...

    Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is, I've known some of these guys for 20 years and even when there was opportunity for them to make a move, they never did.

    I'm not saying none of my male friends ever did. A couple got downright obnoxious about it. But the others never even tried to hold my hand. And I've been in their bedrooms with them, alone.
  • Slimithy
    Slimithy Posts: 348 Member
    When Harry Met Sally is my favorite movie.

    Amen! one of the best exchanges

    Sally: "Well, what about the ugly ones?" (referring to the women Harry doesn't find attractive, surely he could be friends with them)
    Harry: "Nah... You pretty much wanna do them too..."

    I may be paraphrasing a little, been about a year since I saw it last.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Its possible!! Most of my friends are guys. Im not much of a girls girl. I do "guy" stuff with them... football, beer, wing-woman. haha Anyways... If you notice things going in a direction you arent comfortable with - then its time to step in and re-establish boundaries.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Heres the real deal holyfield..............I have many a friends that are women...............WOuld I bang em....hELLL YEAH!!! if given the chance.
    and thats the truth for most men I reckon. :devil:

    Sure I can make the statement that yeah "were just friends I would never do anything with her" But chances are its a friend im NOT ATTRACTED TO..

    jUST sayin

    SHake and bake!!
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Most women think ....they guy jsut is a "friend". CHANCES are that guy has alterior motives and hed hit it if given the chance...hes just hanging around...hahahahha
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Most women think ....they guy jsut is a "friend". CHANCES are that guy has alterior motives and hed hit it if given the chance...hes just hanging around...hahahahha
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    I cannot be friends with boys. I tend to bump uglies with them. Some times repeatedly.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    I cannot be friends with boys. I tend to bump uglies with them. Some times repeatedly.


    We should be friends...........:devil:
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Of course it's possible.

    ...Also, sounds like your husband is insecure.

    **Wow, I just realized this thread is really old and I've commented on it before. *shrug* oh well!
  • shiggyshane
    shiggyshane Posts: 215
    Heres the real deal holyfield..............I have many a friends that are women...............WOuld I bang em....hELLL YEAH!!! if given the chance.
    and thats the truth for most men I reckon. :devil:

    Sure I can make the statement that yeah "were just friends I would never do anything with her" But chances are its a friend im NOT ATTRACTED TO..

    jUST sayin

    SHake and bake!!


    couldnt have said it better
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Sure it's possible, ... if the guy is gay... or if the woman is a "-3 on a scale from 1 to 10..." lol
  • liza27201424
    liza27201424 Posts: 69
    I think it is so possible
    Being a girl, I have more guy friends than girl friends
    guys are easier to hang out with, and talk to
    girls cause to much drama for me sometimes
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Heres the real deal holyfield..............I have many a friends that are women...............WOuld I bang em....hELLL YEAH!!! if given the chance.
    and thats the truth for most men I reckon. :devil:

    Sure I can make the statement that yeah "were just friends I would never do anything with her" But chances are its a friend im NOT ATTRACTED TO..

    jUST sayin

    SHake and bake!!


    couldnt have said it better

    Someones on my side!!!!! awesome dude!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    haha I was about to comment too, but noticed I commented a long time ago...and was going to say basically the same thing...
  • shiggyshane
    shiggyshane Posts: 215
    Heres the real deal holyfield..............I have many a friends that are women...............WOuld I bang em....hELLL YEAH!!! if given the chance.
    and thats the truth for most men I reckon. :devil:

    Sure I can make the statement that yeah "were just friends I would never do anything with her" But chances are its a friend im NOT ATTRACTED TO..

    jUST sayin

    SHake and bake!!


    couldnt have said it better

    Someones on my side!!!!! awesome dude!

    lol its true dont get me wrong i have female friends who are sexy as hell BUT once i got to know them as friends and what there about it made it easy for me to be just freinds. Dont want to ruin a cool friendship over some stupid drama that i know would eventually happen so why bother..
  • eyoungone05
    eyoungone05 Posts: 119
    I wud have to say that No man or woman can just be friends with each other I've seen it before. I have friends who workout, and those that didn't simply becuz one caught feelings and it became weird afterwards. Then u have that I wanna be someone more than friends where it works and it doesn't then the friendship is ruined cuz of the akwardness when around each other.
  • musicgirl88
    musicgirl88 Posts: 504 Member
    my best friend is a guy. Honestly, I don't ge along very well with other women...most of my friends are guys, and there have only been a couple of times where a guy wanted more or took something too far...there's always going to be some type of attraction with the opposite sex, but it is very possible to be just friends. I always warn my dates (which I have not had one in FOREVER LOL) that my best friend is a guy and to not be jealous or offended, but that's the way it is. I have been friends with him for almost 10 years now. I guess it depends on how well you can really control your emotions. If you can't handle just being friends with someone of the opposite sex, then you're either too immature or you are really honestly attracted to that person.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
    I have more male friends than female, and most of them have been my friends pretty much my whole life. I've never had any desire for a romantic or sexual relationship with any of them, and if they've had those kind of thoughts about me they were good enough friends to not ruin our friendship by letting on to it.

    I do have a big double standard though-my fiance can't have female friends without my head exploding. It's because i don't trust women-the same reason i don't have female friends :)
  • darklord48
    darklord48 Posts: 114 Member
    How I Met Your Mother had a Manatee/Mermaid episode. Watch that and you'll understand. Eventually guys start to see women in a different light and then they want more than friendship.
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
    I'm friends with several guys and there no weirdness or sexual tension or anything like that.

    It's ridiculous to think that just because two people are of opposite sexes that they are automatically attracted to each other.
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
    If what your husband says was true, bisexual people in a committed relationship wouldn't be allowed to have any friends at all.

    THANK you! but then again, in my situation, i've seen first hand with my boyfriend, that after he broke up with his last ex, how quickly all those 'female friends' were there to lend a shoulder and much more. with some people, i think they're just biding their time, but if it's all respectful and nothing is inappropriate, at the end of the day, the only person you can control is you. most times i think it's entirely possible for male-female friendships to exist, . it's all about intentions really, and if those intentions are never vocalized or acted on, then all you have to go on is speculation. and that's where trust comes in.
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
    I think you can have friendships with guys or girls. I personally never go anywhere or do anytihng alone with my guy friends because in my opinion it is just not proper, leaves room for people to gossip. I do have phone calls with some of my guy friends and I think that is fine. I am usually walking in and out of the room my husband is in so he can hear me. My husband doesn't care about guy friends. The point is if you tell him, and he doesn't care then there is no problem. If he does care, there is a problem. If at any point my husband said I need you to not have guy friends, I would have to stop even if i didn't feel i did anytihng wrong.

    If your husbadn did the same and you had a problem with it, you would expect the same. I am not saying you would, but say he went out to lunch with a female friend, and you didn't like it and he said we are just friends, don't worry. That would hurt you because he is going to do it no matter how you feel about it.

    I go bowling, to dinner at my friends house, drinking, all with guy friends on mine. But my husband is always invited! Maybe invite him to walk with you, even if he turns you down then you can at least say you invited him, do it at a time whne he can go.
  • sweetpunani
    sweetpunani Posts: 86
    My best friend is a guy and I would NEVER go there. The thought sickens me because he is like a brother to me. He isn't unattractive by all means it's just the way we built our friendship.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    Does anyone else miss the OP? I really enjoyed her posts
  • trixylewis
    trixylewis Posts: 197 Member
    yes, most of my closest friends throughout the years have been male, one introduced me to my husband!
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    I had a conversation with my husband this morning. I go walking with my neighbor who is a guy, nice, make small talk and chit chat etc, never does or says anything weird or potentially sexual ever come up, our conversations today centered around Tilapia!
    My husband believes that it is impossible for men and women to have a friendship with out it ever getting complicated by emotions or sexuality. I think you can be friends with men or women. His words having to be edited, were basically men think with their "you know" and that this is just how things are. I was wondering what other peoples opinions on male/female friendships are.

    Yes, as long as one of the friends doesn't find the other attractive in the least. Because at least one of the pair is interested...

    And, yes. My husband and I have friends of the opposite gender. I'm pretty easygoing, so it doesn't bother me if he thinks someone looks good. It doesn't bother me if someone thinks he's hot, because he is.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    Does anyone else miss the OP? I really enjoyed her posts

    she's still around, had to change her name due to some creepers, doesnt post as many topics though
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    I have a GREAT relationship with my ex.. In fact, we've pretty much resolved it that we GREAT together, but when you mix in love, we're like water and vineager.

    We resolve the sexual tensions by being best friends....with benefits :)
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    i think i might have responded when this was out in august or so, but it's worth saying again! men and women can absolutely be friends. my best friend, since 3rd grade is a guy. i've offered to sleep with him, tried to sleep with him, his girlfriend asked me to have a 3some with them. he's said no every time. am i unattractive? no. he said it'd mess up our friendship, and he doesn't want that. i'm married now, he's still my best friend.
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