Cutting off communication with a family member

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Elizabeth_C34
Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
in Chit-Chat
Have you ever completely cut off all communication from a family member?

If so, do you regret your decision?

EDIT:

I am asking because I am thinking of completely cutting my dad out of my life. He's become a very toxic person for me. He's a liar, has tried to mooch money off me and his elderly father, takes advantage of me and my grandfather, and only calls when he wants money or on the holidays when his ex wife forces him to. It's difficult for me because we were really close when I was young. I was the first person to finish high school in my family, and after I graduated college, I think he and my aunt got very nasty towards me. Hubby seems to think it's jealousy, but I am not sure. I've tried to talk to him and given him multiple chances to get back in my life, and he's never once apologized.

I was just curious to see who else had to do this.
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Replies

  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
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    yes.

    and,

    not at all.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    1. Yes...
    2. No.
    If she decides not to be a slanderous thundering sow, I'll reconsider speaking to her again.
  • sarah_boombah
    sarah_boombah Posts: 124 Member
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    Yes and not even slightly. Some people are just not worth it.
  • JackKsavestheday
    JackKsavestheday Posts: 182 Member
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    yes I have and it was because our relationship was toxic! I have no regrets I made the choice to live healthy physically and mentally
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Yes. No.
  • Dongiff
    Dongiff Posts: 2
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    I no longer speak to my oldest brother. He became a holy roller and constantly denigrated everyone around him. I don't regret not speaking to him as it always turned into a religious argument.
  • maryloo2011
    maryloo2011 Posts: 446
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    1. Yes, but I it might have been easier because I was away at college at the time so it was easier to remove myself from her life. This is an immediate family member.

    2. Yes. Because while I didn't agree with her decisions, that is when she needed me (and the rest of us) the most.

    SIde Note: all is a thousand percent fine now. She is my best friend now.

    So every situation is different. Best of luck... {hugs}
  • MrsCon40
    MrsCon40 Posts: 2,351 Member
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    Yes.

    Absolutely not.
  • Becky99504
    Becky99504 Posts: 30
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    Yes and it took me 10 years to decide that forgiveness is the way to go......Life is too short to be nagry and unhappy, that was my experience.
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Yes - a brother and a sister

    No - but my other sister (who also cut off communication with the same people) died unexpectedly and made for a VERY uncomfortable family gathering...
  • newbba43
    newbba43 Posts: 24
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    Yes I have. Personally, I don't regret it, but I do miss the way our relationship used to be and how much fun we had together. Sometimes, though, you can't control how people change, even a family member. I'm sure it will be hard, but if the circumstances are there, and you think you will lead a healthier life (physically, mentally and emotionally) then you need to do what's best for you!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    1. Yes, but I it might have been easier because I was away at college at the time so it was easier to remove myself from her life. This is an immediate family member.

    2. Yes. Because while I didn't agree with her decisions, that is when she needed me (and the rest of us) the most.

    SIde Note: all is a thousand percent fine now. She is my best friend now.

    So every situation is different. Best of luck... {hugs}

    Thanks. The person in question for me is actually my dad. He's a very toxic person in my life. Hubby says I should cut him off and never look back. I'm starting to think he's right.
  • jperson2000
    jperson2000 Posts: 1
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    Yep, it wasn't easy but life has improved. Cut off anybody who doesn't listen to you, acknowledge you, or support you. Get your head right by thinking about how to take care of YOU.

    I don't regret it but sometimes I wonder if person X has started getting their own sh** together or if they're still in denial.
  • camy_chick
    camy_chick Posts: 277 Member
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    have i cut off communication - YES!
    do i regret it - very VERY seldom!

    some people, they just make life harder. and bring you down. at a MK retreat i was at 2 weekends ago, one of the guest speakers said this:
    "You have to break up with the people who bring you down. If someone is always like 'oh i'm having a bad day', you have to be like 'sorry to hear that, I am having a GREAT day!' and eventually your positive attitude will bug them so much because you aren't feeding into their wanting you to be down with them, that they will 'break up' with you!"

    what i took from that is if someone can't be happy for you, or keeps bringing you down, "BREAK-UP" with them!

    and it has come to a point in my life, that if they aren't going to support me and my family, i'm BREAKING UP WITH THEM! and it will be THEIR loss. not mine!
  • mizjohnston
    mizjohnston Posts: 196 Member
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    Yes I have and I do not regret it one bit. I made the decision a year ago and should have done it a lot sooner.
  • carmenstop1
    carmenstop1 Posts: 210 Member
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    Yes, some people...especially family can be way to hurtful and negative to be around!

    No regrets, it is way better than dealing with the drama every single time we were all in the same room! Mexico for Christmas is awesome...highly recommend it!
  • dznofroses
    dznofroses Posts: 12
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    My sister and I didn't speak for 8 years. Why? I still don't know to this day. At first, I was angry and couldn't care less if we ever spoke again. I carried that anger around for years. When I finally realized that I was only hurting myself, by staying angry, I let go of it. It isn't healthy to carry around that kind of anger. Not only was it a strain between her and I, but with the rest of the family as well. Last December, she let go of it as well and contacted me. We've been working on things ever since. It isn't like it used to be and I don't think it will ever be, but I have my sister back to some degree. I did miss her and regret the years lost!
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Yup. I haven't spoken to my father since I was 20. And that was only because he approached me at my brother's HS graduation. Not including that brief exchange, he's been out of my life for a total of 8 or 9 years. I don't regret it.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Yes I have. Personally, I don't regret it, but I do miss the way our relationship used to be and how much fun we had together. Sometimes, though, you can't control how people change, even a family member. I'm sure it will be hard, but if the circumstances are there, and you think you will lead a healthier life (physically, mentally and emotionally) then you need to do what's best for you!

    I think I'm still stuck thinking he'll come around to being my dad again instead of this really nasty person in my life.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Yep, it wasn't easy but life has improved. Cut off anybody who doesn't listen to you, acknowledge you, or support you. Get your head right by thinking about how to take care of YOU.

    I don't regret it but sometimes I wonder if person X has started getting their own sh** together or if they're still in denial.

    This is exactly my husband's attitude about it. I'm starting to think he's right.

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