For women: "Your husband must be happy..."
Since people have started noticing my weight loss I have gotten these comments and I don't really know how to take them.
"Well, your husband must be happy."
"I bet your husband must be thrilled with your weight loss."
"ooooh I bet your man is finally happy!!!!"
I can say that these people don't know my husband and he seemed pretty happy with me before. I decided to change for me, not to please him. He is very proud of me and he is happy for my accomplishment but somehow it seems like people think that he wasn't happy with me before because I was very overweight. Maybe I'm overreacing but this comment really bugs me.
Have people made similar comments to any of you ladies??
"Well, your husband must be happy."
"I bet your husband must be thrilled with your weight loss."
"ooooh I bet your man is finally happy!!!!"
I can say that these people don't know my husband and he seemed pretty happy with me before. I decided to change for me, not to please him. He is very proud of me and he is happy for my accomplishment but somehow it seems like people think that he wasn't happy with me before because I was very overweight. Maybe I'm overreacing but this comment really bugs me.
Have people made similar comments to any of you ladies??
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Replies
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Those comments aren't very nice...
Most people I know have said "wow, you look REALLY different" lol! I'm kind of glad that they haven't made comments relating to my boyfriend's happiness, although I guess it's different when you're married.
52 lbs is amazing!0 -
i hope these people aren't your friends... i think that is SO rude and I wouldn't know how to take it either.
you should be doing this for yourself and no one else... next time, just tell them that YOU are finally happy... and that's all that matters.0 -
Thats ridiculous!!! Like you can't change for yourself and like your husband is that shallow! Id be irritated too tbh.....not overreacting at all0
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Ditto! I've decided to lose weight for myself not for my hubby! My husband has always been happy with me and the way I look, and he'll be even happier to see me feel better about myself once I DO get down to the size I want to be. ;-)0
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I can understand why you would be upset with that. People don't realize that their "compliment" implies that your husband didn't enjoy you before...of course he did, he married you!0
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i think sometimes people don't know what to say...so at times, what they mean as a compliment sometimes doesn't come out exactly as intended.
I regularly have my foot inserted into my mouth.0 -
Nah....I usually get "I am jealous of your boyfriend!" That one makes the both of us smile0
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I get those comments from my mother-in-law! Ugh!0
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You are not overacting. Try finding new positive type people to surround yourself with. You will be surprised how much positive enery helps on your "get healthy" journey.0
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Since people have started noticing my weight loss I have gotten these comments and I don't really know how to take them.
"Well, your husband must be happy."
"I bet your husband must be thrilled with your weight loss."
"ooooh I bet your man is finally happy!!!!"
I can say that these people don't know my husband and he seemed pretty happy with me before. I decided to change for me, not to please him. He is very proud of me and he is happy for my accomplishment but somehow it seems like people think that he wasn't happy with me before because I was very overweight. Maybe I'm overreacing but this comment really bugs me.
Have people made similar comments to any of you ladies??
:huh: WHAT! Thats freaking awful! I cannot believe that someone would actually say that to you! WOW! Some people! I am the same as you, even though I am overweight, my husband still loves me just the way I am. He loved me when I was thin and he loves me now that I am fat! (lol) - I just can't believe that people would really say things like that!
That sure puts a damper on the excitement that you have about losing the weight! Geesh! Dont worry about it though, just remember why you are really doing it and ignore stupid people out there, cause belive me, there are MANY of them! :grumble:0 -
not forgetting...wow! Your hubby must feel like he's got a new woman!
I try not to take them the wrong way but sometimes it's hard! And yes he didn't have a problem with the woman he had before because....I'm still me!!!0 -
I get those comments from my mother-in-law! Ugh!
eww0 -
YES!! I'm down almost 80 lbs. and I get these comments frequently and I HATE IT! My husband has never made a big issue of my weight. I wasn't skinny when he asked me to marry him and my weight has gone up and down the last 12 years we've been married. He loves me for me and doesn't emphasize my weight loss. People can be very shallow - either that or THEY are married to men who emphasize their looks constantly. Hang in there and keep on losing for YOU!! :happy:0
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had your husband not been happy with you before he wouldn't have married you...
i don't know. personally i think it sounds rude but maybe those people think they're giving a compliment. i wouldn't sweat it too hard.0 -
No, these people aren't my friends...they are co-workers and acquaintances...not close to me. Ok. I’m glad you all don’t think I’m not over reacting. This has just been on my mind since the first time I heard it so I was like WTH :noway: is up with that comment?
Thanks girls! You are all doing wonderful…keep it up!0 -
Why don't you just try to take it as a compliment and not interpret it as a backhanded insult?
:flowerforyou:0 -
I get those comments from my mother-in-law! Ugh!
Yeah I have had my time with that too....my mother-in-law LOVES to share with me how thin she was when she was pregnant and how she dropped her pregnancy weight so fast compared to me. And how she never had to buy maternity clothes...yeah it gets on my nerves. :grumble: I would love to slap her sometimes, I know thats not kind, but really! I mean we are NOT the same people, and she was severly depressed and in an abusive relationship while she was pregnant too! :indifferent: SO seriously, she wasnt healthy!!
Oh and now she is obese, I mean morbidly obese...so really she has no reason to talk to me!0 -
Yes I get comments all the time, He never mind my size before as far as I know because we got togeather the size i was, and after nearly 30 lbs he told me a few days ago FINALLY he noticed i was loosing weight, then told me you know you don't need too loose much more, i just laughed and told him im doing this for me and i will know when i am going to stop and maintain...I love that man i call my husband! People are so cruel sometimes.0
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Ugh! I haven't gotten this -YET! But, it has happened before. I can only say, you know he was happy before your weight loss...0
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I could have written your post word for word! "Your husband must be thrilled!" He was thrilled with me before!
But the thing that does thrill him is how much more comfortable I am being nekkid.0 -
I can relate! Just this week, a friend of mine said "Have you lost weight"? I said "Yes, I have. Thanks for noticing". She said "How could I not? I bet your family is happy." I had to sit and think about that and wonder if it was a jab or a compliment. Anyway, my response was "I lost weight, I feel great and YES the family is proud of me thank you."
The way I see it is: some people have a disease I like to call "diarrhea of the mouth"...crap just spews out of their mouth without the use of their brain cells. So you gotta fluff it off and just keep doing what your doing! Good job by the way!0 -
Yep, I've gotten that comment many times, and I don't get it.
Ridiculous how insensitive people are! My SO loves me for me, and thought that I was sexy at my high weight and has thought the same of my body at each weight.
Although, I must say that my ex was always super happy when I lost weight, and I always lost it just for him. That's why he's my EX.0 -
I think with comments people are refering to the alone time between you and the hubby. I swear some people think that just because we are big we can move in the bed. That we are a bore to our husbands because we can't do porn star acts or something. i just think they are jealous because they don't have a husband who is as loving and supportive of them like your husband is of you. Keep rocking it for you girl and let them go off and be jealous all they want.0
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Yeah, I hate that too. I'd much rather that my spouse didn't notice that I'm more fit which generally in most cultures considered more physically attractive. It would also suck if someone speculated that my spouse might think I'm more fit and attractive than when I was 50 pounds heavier.
How dare the *kitten*.0 -
yeah i get that sometimes. i would just smile nod and walk away . mostly people say oh so what does your say husband say about you losing weight ? like his opinion would have bearing on it lol0
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I can understand how it would be perceived this way, but it seems like it might be a person's way of trying to be positive without sounding condescending. For example, if an acquaintance were to say that he or she were proud of you or happy for you, it might feel insincere, because he or she isn't really close enough to you to have those emotions. But commenting on how proud you must be making your significant other, it would be acknowledging your accomplishments in a genuine manner.
I've noticed that numerous people are both awkward at giving and receiving compliments, so when we work the rusty compliment muscle, it can sometimes be awkward. Just smile, say how proud of yourself you both are, and move on. I truly believe that for the main, this is just a poorly done compliment.0 -
Bless you, sweetie. I don't think these people can be thinking at all! If they were, they would see how thoughtless they sounded. Please try to ignore them as they don't know you at all! I have never met you but know you have done this for YOU!! and not for anyone else!!0
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As a male, my wife either doesn't notice or doesn't really care.
but I've not made the dramatic losses some of you have. ie.. Just around 14 lbs. (4 lbs since I've been here)0 -
I don't know. I don't think much of the comments. I know my boyfriend loves me as i am and all that, but I still feel like if i lost the weight, he'd be more proud he has such a hot MILF to spend the rest of his life with.
I feel the same. I love my boyfriend. I'm proud of him in every single way. But there is something about knowing you are with a healthy, in shape person...
TO ME: in shape and healthy shows that you care about yourself enough to take care of yourself....that's something to show off! i dont know if im explaining it well but my point is, just take it as ( how im sure they mean it)- a complement!
say thanks and go about your day! or say "he was happy with me before, but he's proud of my recent achievements as well"
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I can relate! Just this week, a friend of mine said "Have you lost weight"? I said "Yes, I have. Thanks for noticing". She said "How could I not? I bet your family is happy." I had to sit and think about that and wonder if it was a jab or a compliment. Anyway, my response was "I lost weight, I feel great and YES the family is proud of me thank you."
The way I see it is: some people have a disease I like to call "diarrhea of the mouth"...crap just spews out of their mouth without the use of their brain cells. So you gotta fluff it off and just keep doing what your doing! Good job by the way!
LMBO!!! I LOVE this comment!0
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