What was the worst thing someone said to you regarding your
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when i was in sixth form art class, we were randomly talking about which spice girls we would be most like (when they did there come back tour, not when they were first around), i heard the 'head girl' s****** 'Claire would be like Chubby Spice' What the Hell, cow bag!!!
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I can't believe the things that have been said by PARENTS! Much less the random strangers. I feel like my measly complaints are nothing compared to what some of you have been through, how can people be so cruel?
I was a stick in high school, hadn't broken 100 pounds when I graduated. During high school I suffered a lot of skinny girl taunting, but none of it ever really hurt because I thought people were mostly just jealous. Fast forward 6 years, late blooming and 50+pounds, I'm meeting my grandfather for dinner at some restaurant - a grandfather I have never been particularly close to and who has been overweight my entire life - he walks in the door and says 'Wow, you've really put on some weight!' very loudly as he's hard of hearing and starts laughing. He keeps repeating it off and on throughout dinner. The next time I see him, about a year later, he says the same thing, even though I was down about 5 lbs since the last time I saw him, and I pat his big belly and say 'I see you have, too, Papa!'. He hasn't commented on my weight since, though I still dread seeing him next visit home.
People on the subway often give me their seat and I often suspect they think I'm pregnant, since they aren't offering it to any of the other passengers. One lady who I helped find something at Target because she couldn't see well asked me when I was due, I almost started crying right then and there and was able to whisper 'I'm not pregnant, just fat' before walking quickly away. I immediately called my sister and asked her honestly if I looked like I could be pregnant, she thankfully told me no and reminded me I had just helped the lady because she had bad eye sight.
I once had a screaming/crying fit after an ex boyfriend told me he didn't think he'd be attracted to me if I gained anymore weight. I weighed around 145 at the time, and was in really great shape overall as I did a lot of biking/swimming and certainly didn't feel I had anymore than 5 pounds tops I could healthily lose. I locked myself in the bathroom and shouted at him for nearly an hour.
A guy on the street yelled 'Can I get some fries with that shake, big girl?' I spun around and told him to **** off, he told me there was no need to get upset, he liked them big. I told him he was just digging his hole deeper and that his bad attitude was probably why he was resorting to picking up strangers on the street rather than having a healthy normal relationship, but in much unkinder words. I was petrified of the possibility of running into him again until I moved.
My grandmother, who suffers from dementia, asked me when my baby is due about a dozen times last Thanksgiving. I know she really doesn't mean to hurt me and probably gets confused because I talk about kids a lot (I'm a nanny), but it hurts every time.0 -
In high school, a guy once said I got uglier every year and since I'm very fat too, no one will want me. I cried for weeks because of what he said. D*uchebag.
My mom used to be very critical and would tell me nobody would "want" me if I was fat (meaning a boy when I grew up. She used to also call me thunder-thighs from a very early age.
Unfortunately, I take after my dads side of the family - we are short and have large legs. On top of that, I was always compared to my older sister who is 8 yrs older than me. She's so smart, so little, and on and on and on.
No freaking wonder I am here with weight issues! And back then, I wasn't even overweight -- just built differently!0 -
My husband told me he no longer found me attractive and that just hugging me disgusted him. That he lost me in the fat and couldn't find the normal girl he married.
And he wonders why we still have problems..... sigh.0 -
Oh MY. I only read the first page and these are super depressing. Luckily, I don't have anything like that minus the cruel kids picking on the little fat girl (my childhood), and maybe a remark made by my aunt about my chubby 11/12 year old self in a one piece bathing suit "Are you sure you want those seconds"?? But for the most part my family and friends have been super supportive and let me just say, after reading these posts I feel VERY fortunate to have people like that in my life - my mom would NEVER say anything to intentionally hurt my feelings, even my younger brother, when we fought (and we sure did) as kids, always avoided the big FAT insult because he knew it would REALLY hurt. Guys - don't listen to these d-bags and a-holes, because there's something wrong with THEM for saying this stuff - not with you. Ugh. People are just horrible sometimes but you have to believe it's because of some deep-rooted issue, we so don't need to keep people like that around!!0
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Still pondering this and isn't it mind blowing how these comments worm their way into our brains and our hearts and determine the type of person we will become? I mean seriously, how many of us still carry these around from 15-20+ years ago? I think I am who I am based on the insults I took when I was a kid. Act as strong as you want, but deep down, why do we still remember those comments word for word to this very day? That's so sad. Don't let those horrible people win!0
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My Ex-finance once said to me that the sight of my naked body made him want to vomit.
Guess why we didn't get married...
And when I was in 6th grade, I learned the obese...from a boy I liked.
Stupid boys! 0 -
My best friends mom (who I love & consider to be my second mom even if she is blunt) is a weight obsessed korean lady. She told me once that she was talking with her friends and they say that I "have a beautiful face but guys can't tell because you're fat".
There are certain chairs that she won't let me sit in because she is afraid I'm going to break them, that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that she points that out in front of everyone.
My best friend has told me before that not to worry, "there are guys out there that like fat girls" then went on to talk about how guys are always checking her out.0 -
My mother told me that if I didn't lose weight I had to move out because she was tired of looking at me.
:frown: That is unbelievably sad. What an awful thing to say to someone you brought into this world.What a cruel world we live in. I'm so sorry for all of you who had family members who openly treated you so horribly. THose were the people who were supposed to love and protect you. Makes a co-worker saying openly "You have a big butt" meaningless in comparison. I don't have a big butt anymore, but I'll be she still has a moustache!
Okay, now THAT is hilarious!!!! :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Hmm, don't think anyone ever said anything to me directly.... I just felt like crap, and decided I just don't want to continue living like that anymore. So I got up the motivation to get in shape and lose the weight so I can rebuild my self esteem.0
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What I have learned: To ignore it0
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Oh my gosh these comments just break my heart. We all know what we look like. Why do some people feel the need to point it out to us or others? Especially elderly folks; I work with the elderly and I think in the Forties it must have been a crime to be overweight. Whether it was living through the Depression or the rationing of the war years, so many of the 80-something folks feel a need to describe people by their weight or constantly suggest the latest diet or comment on what we should be eating, doing or wearing. Even my mom, although for years I have tried to remind her that it is unkind. I think they mean well, but they just don't get how hurtful it is that you can't have a relationship without your weight entering into general conversation.0
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My EX told me he liked me fat so I wouldn't find someone else. Yup and THAT is why he is an EX!0
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Ooh boy...a client at my work said"what happened? You gained weight. You used to be so pretty."As Double whammy! He had no place commenting on that. When ex wanted to break up he said my stomach disgusted him I have been a lower belly pooch, even when thinner. Since 9th grade til I was probably 20, a guy I knew at school would call me and say im fat, do I want bacon, make oinking noises etc with his friends laughing in the background. He's a winner. I saw him running the other day..while I was driving..i wanted to punch him. 0
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I was five and it was my dancing recital. After the recital I ran up to my father and said "Daddy! Did you see me?" He responded that of course he saw me, because I looked like a fat basketball in that costume bouncing around on stage. I was FIVE!!! When a FIVE year old is fat whose fault is it? This was the first time I really realized that I was fat and that it was a bad thing.
When I was 11 my mother was 8 months pregnant and both she and my father forced me on the scale and pointed out that I weighed more than my 8 months pregnant mother and they pointed out how I needed to lose weight and they were appalled at my weight. I didn't eat supper that night. The next morning on the way to school my mom bought me a doughnut and hot chocolate for breakfast- I didn't ask for it, that's just what she got me for breakfast every morning- and she couldn't understand why I was so fat?0 -
After we first got married we were at one of his family reunions and his uncle came up to me and said "Don't guess we have to worry about you falling through a crack in the floor"0
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Yes, those are very hurtful. Probably somewhat truthful. USE IT - to your advantage. Yes, I need to loose. Yes, I'm working on it. NO I won't give up. NO it won't stop me. Turn the break-down into a break-open. When you want your fav comfort food - remember your OWN voice - I want this, and I CHOSE not to eat it. I'm worth a healthy body. I'm worth a lean body. I'm worth it - and that's why it's MY CHOICE, and I chose not to eat it. Walk away tall, proud and another minute of great choices. Stay out of the future - it's a killer. It'll drag you down fast. Live moment to moment, bite by bite. Make your choice the same way. You can do it! You're worth it!0
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If I be so blunt: friends SHOULD tell you what's good for you, not what you want to hear. Doing it in front of others? that is NOT a friend. I don't care what culture she's from. It's rude and hurtful. Find new friends.0
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You sure can sing, too bad you're so fn fat0
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You know, I know I'm fat, and I've known for a long time, but it's never stopped me from getting into relationships with relatively fit guys, which I always found amusing. But my little sister, who's built like a twig and weights 100 pounds soaking wet, I would always tell her how huge her butt is. Now she carries this horrible self image about her butt. Sooo... it's not always skinny people who are mean to fat people. Often fat people are total jerks to skinny people. I've seen a lot of skinny women with low self-esteem because people tell them how much they HATE them for being able to fit into a size 0 or whatever :P So don't turn it around on other people.
But on the topic of the post, I think one of the ones that irked me most was back in the days of myspace, I posted a picture of me from prom (I was probably 140 ish back then, a size 10 I think) and some guy messaged me explicitly to tell me how fat I was and that I should probably die for polluting the internet with my whale-ish-ness. Or something. Bugged me at the time but meh. I looked awesome in that dress.
I tend to forget about slights against my weight nowadays though, because meh. I don't really care. I have a slightly distorted body image - I know I'm fat, and I'm working on it, but when I look in the mirror I think I look awesome. XD0 -
I can't believe that people think it's ok at say insults at someone because they are overweight! WTF???0
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Although I can completely empathize with all of you and agree that people can be cruel especially family, I think we have to stop reliving the pain of these hurtful words. These things have cause us sadness and low self-esteem ..but it is time to say **** YOU to those *kitten* and not give them any more power in your lives!!!! Focus on how awesome you are.. write about the good people,,, your support system.. how much love you have to offer the world.. Empower yourself by doing positive things.. fuel your soul with GOOD thoughts that make you FEEL GOOD!!!! STOP focusing on pain and hurt.. Re think and train yourselves to treat yourself with kindness.. you deserve it! : ) xo0
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I hadn't seen my mom in 11 years, and one of the first things she said to me was, "I would never have known you. You were always so skinny."
That was bad.0 -
My EX told me he liked me fat so I wouldn't find someone else. Yup and THAT is why he is an EX!
Good for you for not putting up with that *kitten*.0 -
One comment that still stands out in my mind ~ from a family friend, I was 16 and a little chunky (not bad, I had some big boobs, let's just put it that way) ~ I overheard her talking about me...." Such a pretty face... too bad about the rest of her!" I just died inside. That was forever burned in to my head.:embarassed: :frown: Later in life, didn't matter if I was 180 or 120 lbs, still felt like a fat girl!:sad:0
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I am astonished by the incredibly mean things that are said to people, especially coming from family. All of the comments just make me want to be a better mom who praises her children for the people that they are, rather than their appearance or performance. I am so sorry to all of you who have been broken by people's cruelty and ignorance. Congratulations on getting healthy.0
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What was said to me, and how I reacted or how it affected me:
1) My grandma when I was 13: "You have piano knees!" Me: "Um, what are piano knees?" Grandma: "That's when your knees are so fat, they only look good hidden beneath a piano."
~ I've never worn shorts since that day. That was a very long time ago, but I just can't stand my knees, even when I'm thin. I WILL wear shorts one day, maybe even to her funeral.
2) My mom (whom I love dearly), when I was 13: "Honey, you have a weight problem, and you need to lose weight. If you get fat, no one will want to marry you."
~ I spent the next several years battling bulimia, because I was old enough to care about her opinion, but not old enough to have learned how to deal with it in a healthy way. 20 years later, my mom and I are NOW a very good support system for each other. We're honest, but supportive. I strive everyday to teach my young daughter healthy eating habits so she might not fall victim to what I went through in my teen years.
3) My ex-fiance AFTER I lost over 100 pounds, and was wearing a size 6 or 7, "You know, you could look hot, if you'd just workout more. You're stomach's too big/hair's too blonde/teeth too crooked... insert other complaint here". (the REAL complaint turned out to be that I wasn't a man. But he could never just come out of the closet and stop using me for a shield. Did I ever laugh when I found that out!)
~ I dumped his *kitten*. And found someone who could love me for me, whom I adored, and married him instead. And I don't tolerate ignorant people like my ex.
So, horrible things get said, but there's a way to learn from each and every one. Even if it's just to learn that some people aren't worth your time or your tears.0
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