Hubby has been mugged and beaten by a gang of 10 *kitten*
So... yeah, my dear hubby just finished work at 7, and it was already dark, he always drives to work, but today he had to leave his car at the garage to be fixed, so he was walking alone in a not very well lit area,it's only a long dark street of 10 mins that would bring him into the city centre. Today one of the boys of a gang walked forward and pushed him towards the wall quite hard as he was walking, my hubby though he was just showing off so ignored them and kept going, but after another lot of two guys who didn't touch him, came a fourth guy and punched him on the face, and my hubby decided to punch back... and run, but three of them ran after him and threw him to the floor and hit him all over with punches on the face and kicks. Poor thing, when he managed to get up of the floor and escape with bruised legs, broken lip and damaged knee (he fell or was pushed against the floor and has a laceration on his left knee)
My question... has anybody experienced anything like this?, and if you were in my hubby's skin, what would make you feel better with yourself? because I really don't know how to cheer him up, besides of being extra nice, cook him dinner, and a cup of coffee and loads of hugs and kisses... but I guess sex is out of the question tonight given that he's sore in loads of place. So is there something that could make you feel better in that situation?
My question... has anybody experienced anything like this?, and if you were in my hubby's skin, what would make you feel better with yourself? because I really don't know how to cheer him up, besides of being extra nice, cook him dinner, and a cup of coffee and loads of hugs and kisses... but I guess sex is out of the question tonight given that he's sore in loads of place. So is there something that could make you feel better in that situation?
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Replies
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Pamper him and call the police (or become a vigilante and take matters into your own hands)0
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that is just horrible! were the police notifed? i am glad that they didn't use a weapon or anything...i know he is really hurt but it could have been much worse.0
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Did he report it to the police?
Chances are it has happened, or will happen again to others.
Thing is, it could happen to anyone. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.0 -
That's really messed up. I'm so sorry to hear that. What gang is that?0
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Damn, thats crazy. I've never experienced anything like this myself, never even been in a fight.. hopefully you guys figure something out, it could've been alot worse.0
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Ugh...how awful...
Pamper him with his favorite meal, make him as comfortable as possible, and fawn over him as much as you can.0 -
Very sorry to hear that! It's a definite shock to his self-esteem and pride as a man, so not much you'll be able to do as a result of that. But you can help him during the healing from his wounds.0
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Did he call the police? You need to try ad catch the *kitten*!!0
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That's just awful, I am so sorry. It's called the "knock out game" here in St. Louis and is part of gang initiation. Ask him what you can do to make him feel better, then do waht he says, I'll bet he'd appreciate that.0
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Pamper him and call the police (or become a vigilante and take matters into your own hands)
I like this idea haha0 -
Wow im sorry to hear that, i hope hes ok. I'd call the cops0
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Erm i've experienced similar with a family member. I think it shocks you to the core, you're reminded of your own mortality, weaknesses and anger etc
In cases like this I think only time will help. Support him, forgive him his (probable) moods over it (to an extent) and watch out for your own symptoms, I know how it hit me and how it still hits me at times.0 -
dam where do you live?!!0
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That is so terrible, I have no advice on what to do to help him but I will pray for you both. God bless.0
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Sorry to hear about this. I strongly agree with Noize55...0
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Pricks. That's the only way they can win is in a big group...cowards.0
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So sorry to hear. I hope he heals quickly from such a violent crime most physically and mentally.0
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Oh my gosh, how awful. It actually brought tears to my eyes reading that, to be reminded that people can be so mean and brutal to an innocent person. I am so sorry for him. Just be there for him, be on his side and sure pamper him a bit, without over fussing. And I agree, he should report it to the police.
All the best to both of you,
Lucy0 -
Well I was once robbed at gun point but never beat. Nothing made me feel better and I actually was scared of parking lots for a while. But it might have alot to do with him being a man too.... no one likes to get "beat up" especially a man...... His pride might be kind of hurt..... so lots of love and sex isn't really out of the question. Just tell him "bae I got this, Imma be real gentle with you" lol. but seriously. And sorry that that happen to him.0
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Remind him that no matter what he is feeling or thinking now, he has been through an unusual event and anything that he is thinking or feeling is perfectly normal. Avoid alcohol and drugs as they will not help and may only lead to problems later. Let him talk even if he has to tell you every detail 5, 10, or 125 times. That is what he needs at the moment.
Rationalising about what he could've, should've done won't help. He did the best he could in extraordinary circumstances.
This was advice given to me after I had walked through the middle of a, fortunately, minor street shooting many years ago.
Encourage him to get some counselling if he has flashbacks, sleep disturbance or can't stop thinking about the attack. It is better if he seeks help sooner rather than later.0 -
My fiance took the train to work (this was about a month ago) through the city (phila) to the subway. On his way to the subway, through the station, he and two others were mugged. They had to go through a tunnel to get to the subway, they had one guy walk in behind them and the othr was at the other end. The guy held a gun to each of their faces, got $250 from my fiance, the womans jewelry and the mans watch. All I could do was remind him that he did the right thing to give it up and not fight back, as they both had guns. Also to remind him it could have been worse but he was able to come home to his family at the end of the day.
He kept saying how he wanted to get a licence to carry but even if he had a gun, if he reached for it, they would have gotten him first.
I'm so sorry this happened to your husband. There's a ton of cruel and greedy people in the world but there's billions of better people.0 -
This is horrible. I was jumped in the projects once it was 5 of them and just me. I basically hit the ground and covered what I could with my arms to block the blows. I never told anyone and when people asked about the brusies I lied and said I fell on the stairs. It is a blow to the ego because not to brag I could always hold my own so I know how he feels. report it to the authorities and pray it doesn't happen again.0
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Sorry to hear about that. I lived in some pretty dodgy areas. I have been Jumped by a little Asian gang of crips. I was 17 at the time I was working at an amusement park still in my stupid looking clothes. Just tell him good on him for trying to fight back usually people wont because their afraid and also they know its a loosing battle. but you know what at least he hit one give him a high five. I feel more sorry than angry at gangs now a days because there just lost.0
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A few years ago, my husband was working at his dad's store in a mall when a shooter came into the mall and started shooting up the place. The *kitten* was taken out by the police when they arrived, but several people were killed. Thank god my husband wasn't hurt, but a thing like that is scarring. He's much better than he used to be, but you don't forget something like that. I felt completely helpless! What made it worse, was he refused to talk to me about any of it because he wanted to protect me from what he witnessed, so he was baring this burden on his own. He finally did go talk to a therapist. Just continue to love him, support him, be there for him, try to get him to talk about it either to you or someone else, but don't push the subject. I'm so sorry this happened to your family. <<hugs>>0
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I'm so sorry that this happened.Thank god he will be okay! Bruises heal but there may me emotional damage done that you may want to have him talk to someone he doesnt know in case he is to embarrased to say anything to you! Im really sorry again hon! Best of luck! We all are here thinking of your husband!0
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He will need to talk about it but as a fella - in his own time. he may not even want to talk to you or family about it as he will be worried that it's going to worry you. Our men do these things. Over time if he wants to look into self defence courses maybe, they are great for everyone to do. That's an unfair number against you. He will go through a few different moods and many might be just thinking things over, like the 'what if's' as they always come. He cant change what happened, he can let it go so it doesn't get to him but that can only be done after he's dealt with it. He should write it down and get it out if he doesn't feel like talking to anyone else. He can call the mens help lines as they are counsellors able to deal with this sought of trauma. He will want to get his confidence back and that will come with time. He will know you are there for him, but he is also going to be aware of how this is affecting you also and may not want to talk to help protect you. Dont push him to talk, just let him know you are there to just listen and are concerned for how this event is making him feel. Men sometimes dont want answers or resolve for things or the 'what ifs' from us, but just want to be able to get it out and be heard I suppose. Hope you are able to cope with this also. It is scarey for you too to have experienced something traumatic like this to the one you love. There is a protective nature there between partners. Sex is a wonderful relaxation technique, but also try body massage, low lights and the mindset he can just lie there and fall asleep. Go with the massage and see where it goes, no pressure. You know your man. It may also be such a distraction that sex isn't a goa for now, traumatic experiences can react in our bodies in a physical manner that we haven't got control over. Let him know it's a big deal he has gone through and that it will take time to deal with it thoroughly but that you are there for him. He would already know that by the sounds of things. you are a great supportive wife and sound very concerned. Here to talk or just to listen, any time for you or for your husband. Take care Louisa.0
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*kitten* is a cure-all.
That makes all men happy.0 -
It did happen to me. I was violently assaulted about 16 years ago. They also took my purse with my license and my keys and were at my house before the police even got to me. Only one of the guys was caught and he refused to talk so I was kept on a victim list for years. I was notified every time he was released from prison and every time he moved.
Time heals all wounds and I eventually asked to be removed from the victim list. Every time I received that letter, I was a victim again.
So...listen when he wants to talk and give him the time and space to heal on his own. Most important - if he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to talk about it.0 -
I would guess that his pride is also wounded. Getting your *kitten* beat will do that no matter how impossible the odds of winning are. I would just be mindful of that & not talk about what happened unless he wants to so he can work that feeling out in his mind. Also be kind but don't go overboard on babying. Hope he's better soon.0
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Not sure where you live, but I'd consider getttig a concealed carry permit. You can't trust that the guys won't be back and maybe do worse next time. If your husband travels the same route as part of his daily routine, he should watch out. If those guys got their kicks there once, they'll probably still be in the area. If nothing else at least get some mace.0
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