My first "NEGATIVE" feedback yes I did write negative

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2

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  • KatieTee83
    KatieTee83 Posts: 196 Member
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    Try not to let it bother you. It's obvious that she's feeling self-conscious about her own weight and rather than take a hard look at herself she lashes out against others. It's pretty typical of low self-esteem. That being said, if things happened the way you have them written here, I can see how she might have gotten offended. It sounds like you were coming from a good place and trying to help, but you might have gone a bit overboard on all the offers to help her. Those of us who are working on losing weight might not see it at first, but not everyone who is overweight is actively looking to lose weight, and assuming she would want you to print out recipe ideas, etc might have offended her. Yes, she asked how you were doing so well, but did she also say, hey, I'd love some advice, can you help me? If not, then the advice no doubt sounded like you telling her she was fat and pointing out what she should be doing, something she's most likely already feeling self-conscious about.

    Of course, it was snarky and petty of her to say what she said, but, again, responding with, well actually, I eat 5 small meals AND workout all the time -- can you see how that might be taken by someone who is already self-conscious as a jab at them for not working out or eating right?

    Just trying to put myself in the other person's shoes, it sucks that she feels the need to try to bring you down, but understanding why she did might help you to handle it if it happens again.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Isn't it amazing and disturbing how nasty people can get when they're jealous? Sounds like your co-worker may be secretly ashamed that she took the easy way out and it didn't work, where you are doing it the proper and healthy way and you are doing great. Too bad she can't even pretend to be happy for you....shows you how much she is jealous.
    I had a friend who had a gastric band, and it killed her. Infection after surgery. I still can't believe there are people in this world waiting for a magic pill or diet instead of actually using their bodies as they were designed to be used.
    Enjoy your popcorn and keep up the great work!
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    She's LAZY. As someone mentioned you have to change your eating habits. She thought she could have this done and still eat like a like before.
  • vickyplum
    vickyplum Posts: 192 Member
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    Hi

    First off congrats on the amazing job you have done

    but have to agree with the others and say ignore her and yeah you
    pointed out you do eat and eat regularly!
    she hasnt been able to do the weightloss with surgical help and your doing it
    with out anything like that you are doing it through hard work and determination

    YOU ROCK

    dont ever forget it
    your doing a brilliant job
    good luck in the rest of your journey
    Vicky xxxxx
  • tonyawilliams40
    tonyawilliams40 Posts: 2
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    I just started here today but I thought I'd "weigh in" ha. Anyweigh (stop me if you've heard this one)! No, seriously. Here's what I think is her problem with you: you represent her failure. She has gone to the edge of the earth to lose weight. There's nothing left for her to do to lose weight and she still can't keep it off. So naturally, she's going to lash out at anyone that has the ability to do what surgery couldn't even do for her.
    She doesn't need gastric bypass or another diet. She needs serious psychiatric councel. She obviously has some deep, serious mental problems that cause her to want to abuse herself with food. I wouldn't take it personally because it's not you; it's what you represent.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    At the risk of getting totally flamed...I've known several people who have had gastric bypass surgery and everyone of them has gained back what they lost, and then some. I understand that it does work for some people and for some it is medically necessary, so before those of you who have had it totally slam me..yeah, I get that. But I think the screening and counseling that goes along with it should be more stringent. I've known 5 people who have had it and after the first 6 months and a couple, even less than that, they went right back to their old eating habits. There is NO substitute for diet and exercise. Even if you have part of your stomach removed.
    I know a few of these, too, as well as a co-worker who died during the surgery. I also know a couple of women who totally changed their lives and have kept the weight off for over a decade. You've hit the nail on the head, though. Surgery doesn't teach people to eat right and get exercise and without learning that, they are doomed to failure no matter which method they choose to lose weight.
  • GouchisGirl
    GouchisGirl Posts: 321 Member
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    Some people speak without knowing what they are talking about.... actually that happens a lot. Just keep doing what you are doing and ignore the comments because you know that you are doing what needs to be done :)
  • ONE03
    ONE03 Posts: 125 Member
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    people just say things sometimes without thinking. you gotta be strong and let those comments roll off your back.
  • yojaseyrae
    yojaseyrae Posts: 38
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    Like everyone else has said, sounds like somebody is very jealous of you ;) Obviously she had surgery which could've turned her life around, she didn't take the opportunity, and has completely failed in her sorry attempt to keep the weight she lost off. You've clearly done fantastically, and she can't contain her bitterness and is just lashing out - don't let criticism into your heart, you're doing amazing <3
  • Awake_Alive
    Awake_Alive Posts: 261 Member
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    Ignore them, then have the ultimate revenge and outlive them :smile:

    ^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Miggy52
    Miggy52 Posts: 164
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    You can kill with kindness the southern way and smile, and say "well bless your heart" which really mean. F-OFF.
    good luck with her; she is just a hater. Keep doing you.
    Oh I love this. I'm going to try it at work tomorrow!
    I like it as well....will have to remember that when someone gets under my skin or hits my last nerve...lol...
  • zoombie_bear
    zoombie_bear Posts: 963 Member
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    down with all haters!!!

    I'm getting awful comments, rude ones for over a month and don't fell the need to socialize with them anymore, screw them all:devil:
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
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    I have a very large "hater" co-worker also. She won't diet, she won't exercise and she has come up with every excuse in the book as to why she can't adopt a healthy lifestyle. She insists bypass is the way to go, but she would fail because it is not a magic fix. You have to learn healthy habilts which she isn't going to do. She calls others "Skinny *****es". I nailed her about it one day. I haven't heard that again.

    I mean "Bless Your Heart"
  • steffiejoe
    steffiejoe Posts: 313 Member
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    Like another poster mentioned, Why is she watching what and if you eat? Thats none of her business. You offered to help her but she refused . She needs to deal with her own issues and not project them on you.

    "Shake them haters off"
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You handled yourself correctly. Just keep on doing what you are doing. Smile, be pleasant, but don't let her run over you either.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    How is it rude to ask if youve eaten anything? maybe shehasnt noticed you eating and was just asking



    or shes probobly jealous
  • nikkimoon1382
    nikkimoon1382 Posts: 72 Member
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    What a jealous ho! Dont worry, you rock! Can't help those who refuse to help themselves! Keep up the good work!
  • PositivePower
    PositivePower Posts: 976 Member
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    Hey Girl you are doing AMAZING and welcome to this wonderful MFP!!! I am somewhat addicted and also write too much sometimes:tongue:

    It's all here everyone has said it...she is sooooooo jealous and feeling like a failure. It's a bad place to be!!! I have been there but NEVER said anything out load...I knew it was me upset with myself and just wanting to eat out of control, feeling jealous of those in control. I am sooo not a hater...I hate on myself sometimes...but I have totally started a new leaf since on MFP!!! July 2011

    Now I work out 5-6 times per week, joined a running class, signed up for a 1/2 marathon...I pat myself on the back and no longer have cheat days...I enjoy and count what and eat and drink :drinker: if I go over it's fine just don't do it more than 1-2 times a week.

    Keep up the GREAT work and ignore the poor lady :heart:

    You Rock
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
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    You are doing great, keep it up!

    Jealous, much?? I know 2 people that had gastric bypass done, and they are well on their way to gaining it ALL back! Umm YOU decide what goes into your mouth!

    You chose healthy options, she doesnt..NOT your problem!
  • kmcrey87
    kmcrey87 Posts: 422 Member
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    You can kill with kindness the southern way and smile, and say "well bless your heart" which really mean. F-OFF.

    LOL Love this!

    Let the jealous fuel you! You're kicking butt so far! CONGRATS!

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