Ex-BF dilemma of the day lol

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Replies

  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
    OH OH heres some reality....................dude was playin you all along!!! ......tHta dirty dawg...........and only reason he is keepin good terms with you is for future possibilites...you know a guy runs into drys spells every now and then!

    Playa rule #2 deny deny deny deny that you are denying!!!

    NO, I disagree. When we were together, I trusted him 100%. I can honestly say that trust or lack thereof had ZERO to do with our breakup. It was more of an incompatibility issue. As I said, he is rather insecure and needs a relationship to validate his existence. So, whether or not he had the site before us is of no consequence. I doubt he was using it until things got ugly. We did have a good 2 months together and I know he was committed, as was I. I would be very surprised if he were on it while we were together. 100%. The issue IS that he was on it within a day or two of us breaking up, YET still trying to get me back. THAT is the part that bothered me, that he wanted things to work out between us, yet he was secretly shopping on the side in case they didn't. My opinion is you should focus on one goal at a time, not keep a backup. But, that is just me. He wanted things to work out and for things to change back to the way they were in a matter of weeks? I do not think there is a future for us, BUT then again, no one knows what the outcome of their future will be. I certainly do not expect him to wait around, just as he should not expect any type of change to happen in weeks, especially weeks where he is still in constant contact with me. I am moving on. Cutting off ALL contact. I know that is best. I think the guilt of breaking up with him is definitely clouding my judgement and causing these ridiculous behaviors and jealous feelings. I will not deny that. I think it is normal, and for anyone who hasn't dealt with it after breaking up with someone, I envy you! :)

    Its all good though..........you were only together for a couple months. You should be over all of this in a matter of lets say......... by the weekend!?!?!?!

    Here's hoping. Got a couple of Halloween parties to go to - and a cute fox costume. We'll see. :)
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    Ohhh so you are going to be a hot fox!!!!! Very nice. If you are near CHicago let me know........:bigsmile:
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    OH OH heres some reality....................dude was playin you all along!!! ......tHta dirty dawg...........and only reason he is keepin good terms with you is for future possibilites...you know a guy runs into drys spells every now and then!

    Playa rule #2 deny deny deny deny that you are denying!!!

    NO, I disagree. When we were together, I trusted him 100%. I can honestly say that trust or lack thereof had ZERO to do with our breakup. It was more of an incompatibility issue. As I said, he is rather insecure and needs a relationship to validate his existence. So, whether or not he had the site before us is of no consequence. I doubt he was using it until things got ugly. We did have a good 2 months together and I know he was committed, as was I. I would be very surprised if he were on it while we were together. 100%. The issue IS that he was on it within a day or two of us breaking up, YET still trying to get me back. THAT is the part that bothered me, that he wanted things to work out between us, yet he was secretly shopping on the side in case they didn't. My opinion is you should focus on one goal at a time, not keep a backup. But, that is just me. He wanted things to work out and for things to change back to the way they were in a matter of weeks? I do not think there is a future for us, BUT then again, no one knows what the outcome of their future will be. I certainly do not expect him to wait around, just as he should not expect any type of change to happen in weeks, especially weeks where he is still in constant contact with me. I am moving on. Cutting off ALL contact. I know that is best. I think the guilt of breaking up with him is definitely clouding my judgement and causing these ridiculous behaviors and jealous feelings. I will not deny that. I think it is normal, and for anyone who hasn't dealt with it after breaking up with someone, I envy you! :)

    Its all good though..........you were only together for a couple months. You should be over all of this in a matter of lets say......... by the weekend!?!?!?!

    Here's hoping. Got a couple of Halloween parties to go to - and a cute fox costume. We'll see. :)

    Or you could make a match.com account that way when he finds out and starts feeling the exact same way you did about it you have a new topic to post:laugh:
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    ^bwahaha I totally thought of that. Put up a cute pic and profile.
  • mcintyrekn
    mcintyrekn Posts: 55 Member
    I don't mean to sound mean here...but GET OVER IT! You no longer have any obligations to him as a girlfriend, nor he to you as a boyfriend. Even if he was on it while you were together....you aren't now and that is clearly for the better. He isn't worth your time.
    You could be out working to better yourself to get a new, and better man! Don't let him have any more of your time. You will regret it in the end.
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 926 Member
    If he's your ex, why do you care? Move on with life.

    Agreed.
  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
    Again. I appreciate the people who've been constructive. I am DONE posting anything personal. It is rather frustrating when people make fun of other people's dilemmas. Just because it isn't your dilemma, or something YOU wouldn't post about, doesnt make it any less important to someone else. Get over yourselves. If you were all perfect, you wouldn't be here in the first place. We all have our vices. We are here to help and support each other. Guess some of you hide behind your internet persona as a way to feel better about yourselves by making others look pathetic.

    I am over it. Sorry I posted, wish I could delete it but I cannot. Stop replying. Thank you.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Again. I appreciate the people who've been constructive. I am DONE posting anything personal. It is rather frustrating when people make fun of other people's dilemmas. Just because it isn't your dilemma, or something YOU wouldn't post about, doesnt make it any less important to someone else. Get over yourselves. If you were all perfect, you wouldn't be here in the first place. We all have our vices. We are here to help and support each other. Guess some of you hide behind your internet persona as a way to feel better about yourselves by making others look pathetic.

    I am over it. Sorry I posted, wish I could delete it but I cannot. Stop replying. Thank you.


    Im so sorry we didnt trip all over ourselves to agree with every word you said,and have opinions of our own
  • Ilovepeppers
    Ilovepeppers Posts: 396 Member
    Drop him and thank heaven you weren't married. You are in a position to move on. Please, please do so.
  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
    Again. I appreciate the people who've been constructive. I am DONE posting anything personal. It is rather frustrating when people make fun of other people's dilemmas. Just because it isn't your dilemma, or something YOU wouldn't post about, doesnt make it any less important to someone else. Get over yourselves. If you were all perfect, you wouldn't be here in the first place. We all have our vices. We are here to help and support each other. Guess some of you hide behind your internet persona as a way to feel better about yourselves by making others look pathetic.

    I am over it. Sorry I posted, wish I could delete it but I cannot. Stop replying. Thank you.


    Im so sorry we didnt trip all over ourselves to agree with every word you said,and have opinions of our own


    It wasn't the opinions that annoyed me. It was the little snide remarks, to which there were several. I already stated that I welcomed opinions. Sarcastic, obnoxious comments serve no purpose.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    WHats shakin babycakes!?!!?!? Need a little latino heat in your life????:devil:
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    I re read what you posted and I feel bad for him,it seems like your stringing him along.You guys are not together,you say you dont want to be with him,dont want him stalking your facebook,and now that you see he has profiles elsewhere suddnley maybe you guys can get back together someday so even though your not together now he shouldnt be looking elsewhere:huh:
    Cut him loose or get back with him an stop playing games

    Exactly this...
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,046 Member
    I re read what you posted and I feel bad for him,it seems like your stringing him along.You guys are not together,you say you dont want to be with him,dont want him stalking your facebook,and now that you see he has profiles elsewhere suddnley maybe you guys can get back together someday so even though your not together now he shouldnt be looking elsewhere:huh:
    Cut him loose or get back with him an stop playing games

    Exactly this...

    What she needs is this awesomely tanned brown man!:bigsmile:
  • ChantalAguiar
    ChantalAguiar Posts: 55 Member
    If he's your ex, why do you care? Move on with life.

    What he said..stop FB, MATCH whatever stalking him!
  • lindseytienhaara
    lindseytienhaara Posts: 10
    A woman's gut feeling is usually always right!!!!! If there is no Trust....there is no relationship!!!!!
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
    I spent a brief time in your shoes when I was about 19/20. Honey, we can justify it all to ourselves all we want but let me tell you - it's not pretty. It makes you feel like a crazy person because, in fact, that's what we are acting like when we do this stuff.

    Yeah, you're pissed at the people who made snide remarks but you know what? They are right and they are probably trying to give you a swift kick in the pants to get you to realize this.

    You are thriving on the drama, you're spreading the drama by posting it on however many online forums you have posted this (and I have a feeling this isn't the only place you're writing about this), you're stringing that guy along probably because deep down you're afraid of being alone yourself, and finally, YOU ARE DRIVING YOURSELF NUTS OVER THIS GUY YOU DON"T EVEN WANT. Is it worth it for a relationship that it isn't even a full year long?

    Don't worry about it. Like I said, I did it once too. I understand where you are coming from. But please don't try to justify this as something it isn't. Sounds like you want people to tell you it's ok and what a jerk he is to reinforce your decision to break up with him and tell you how nice a person you are for telling him you guys can be friends without anyone being straight with you that this is just a bunch of games you and he are playing with each other. Neither of you even wants the other but neither of you really has the balls/ovaries to tell the other that it's over and done.

    I'm just hoping you are young - teens or early 20's so you can mature a little and get past this. Otherwise you just posted on the net that you're, well, a stalker and unable to let go when it is time. Then again, if this is how you are with EVERY guy you date, keep posting. Other guys can use the warning.
  • alexisdc
    alexisdc Posts: 117 Member
    Ask yourself why are you putting all this energy into this? The pain of the break up hurts. It's gonna be hard. But sounds like you have found out something that makes it hurt even more, that he is untrusting. Trust is extremely important to you, you value this with very high regard. I think your feeling hurt because you thought (down the road) you to could "grow back together", but this situation (I think) says to you, that is not going to be possible. I understand how that can hurt. You got see see behind the curtain.
    Your a strong gal, you know what you want; you know what you will not tolerate. Keep focus on that. You see this Ex doesn't not meet your standards; let him go and be and you take your strong self and find a man that gives you what you want. :flowerforyou:
  • fabi8081
    fabi8081 Posts: 232 Member
    People that are looking for advice very rarily are looking for advice they're looking for an accomplice. You want someone to tell you that you have a right to be mad. The truth is you don't he didn't go on the site till you broke up with him. He can do what he wants. You thought he was going to cry and get depressed. So it suprised you when he went on a dating site. Thats the reality you have to deal with. Move on.
  • rosegiver
    rosegiver Posts: 19
    If he's your ex, why do you care? Move on with life.

    I gotta agree with this dude I mean if he is your ex why you feel like you gotta know what he did in the past, and if he did yall are already broken up so there is no need to miss with past. Hell I bet you are too good for the fool, and you know what he may have lost a good thing that he will probably never realize. So just find a dude that will love you, and talk to you like a close friend. Cuz when your going out with someone who is like a friend to you there will be conversations that can go on and on. Good luck girlie. xp
  • soniaa777
    soniaa777 Posts: 126 Member
    if the online account/accounts exist, than your best bet was he was on there continuously the whole time. do not... DO NOT try this out again. inactive-accounts are still active. one click on and one click off.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    Do yourself a favor.. Do not ask for online advice about dating.. My advice.. Pray. . Good luck to you though all the same.:smile:
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