Home Wrecker!!!

SexyChicWannaB
SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
help!! I recently reconnected with a guy that i knew in college. we were just friends back then but i always wanted something more and wasn't sure if he felt the same or not. now i know that he wanted me as much as i wanted him..... great!! wonderful!! sigh....

bad part - he's married and has three kids that he adores. he and his wife are not very compatico but they stay together for the kids. i don't wanna break up a marriage but i don't wanna lose him again.. what do i do?
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Replies

  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 9,964 Member
    Walk away - or - be caught up in lots of drama
  • AriannaTiyen42
    AriannaTiyen42 Posts: 86 Member
    Move along. Sounds like bad news.
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
    Please stay away. HE says they are only together for the kids. You never know what SHE would say/think/feel. Put yourself in her shoes...you wouldn't want someone to do that to you.
  • littleenginethatcan
    littleenginethatcan Posts: 264
    IMO~ Respect that he is married and move on.
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    Don't be selfish. Walk away.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,343 Member
    He made his choice. Id move on...for sure.
  • GibsonDarlin
    GibsonDarlin Posts: 202 Member
    WALK AWAY - he is off limits.
  • MamaBear57
    MamaBear57 Posts: 336 Member
    I agree walk away he has to live with his decisions.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    Keep moving.. Seriously he is married, and says they are only together for the kids but you never know what she is thinking or if he is telling the truth.
  • chocolady123
    chocolady123 Posts: 2
    Stay away. Do not get involved. If he eventually gets a divorce and looks for you then that will be that.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    RUN!
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
    Hon the only thing you can do and not be a "homewrecker" is either say good bye or simply stay friends only... But sounds like the chemistry is too high tween ya'll to hang around him even as friends. You will have to lose him if you don't want to break up this family, but if they are only together for the kids it's not a truly happy family but me I wouldn't wanna be the other woman.. It's simply wrong to me, but that's me
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    Do you really think he's going to leave his wife for you?

    C'mon now, you already know the answer to this one.

    If he's gonna cheat on his wife (who he has 3 kids with) do you really think he's gonna be faithful to you?

    As my dad would've had said (who was a serial cheater/womanizer) "Once a cheat, always a cheat"
  • kmcw50
    kmcw50 Posts: 26 Member
    They always say "they are staying together for the kids," don't get involved in that drama and old line. Point here is, he is still married and you wouldn't want another woman stepping on your toes right? Walk away.
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
    Only you can make your choices.
  • pcronberg
    pcronberg Posts: 224
    I say you walk away for now. You can remain friends, but since you both have feelings for each other, that might not work as well. If he leaves his wife later, then you can jump back in. Bad marriage or not, they got married for a reason, they have children and there is a reason they are still together. People split all the time, kids or not. Once a marriage reaches a point that it is unhealthy for the kids, the couple realizes it is better to split, almost always. You don't want to feel responsible, or be responsible for them not working things out. I say, wait.
  • Aegelis
    Aegelis Posts: 237 Member
    Think of the children as well and perhaps someday you'll meet someone dedicated to having your own also. Being friends even bears consequences at this point.
  • _Peacebone_
    _Peacebone_ Posts: 229 Member
    Please stay away. HE says they are only together for the kids. You never know what SHE would say/think/feel. Put yourself in her shoes...you wouldn't want someone to do that to you.
    ^
  • kimziebaby
    kimziebaby Posts: 133 Member
    Been through this before...

    Two words: Walk away.
  • jessilyn76
    jessilyn76 Posts: 532 Member
    Do you really need to ask?? Married with three kids.........maybe when he's divorced with three kids.
  • adk88
    adk88 Posts: 143 Member
    Walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it. If it's meant to be, it will happen. (I know, I hate when people say that too, but it's true!)
  • Shanahan09
    Shanahan09 Posts: 97
    Walk away. You don't want those kids to look at you as someone who has come between their Mom and Dad. He's not available, period!
  • adk88
    adk88 Posts: 143 Member
    Walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it. If it's meant to be, it will happen. (I know, I hate when people say that too, but it's true!)
  • lydiareg
    lydiareg Posts: 6 Member
    If he'll do it with you, he will do it to you!
  • thebamboophoenix
    thebamboophoenix Posts: 58 Member
    You don't have him to lose 'again'. Best thing to do is walk away, hard as that will be. (Been there, done it)

    Aaaaah, they never seem to be 'very compatico' with their spouse...yet, they always stay...so it can't be that bad.

    I don't doubt that he wants you, but probably not for the same things you want. Sorry.
  • lunamare
    lunamare Posts: 569 Member
    Run, don't walk away as fast as you can.
  • lunamare
    lunamare Posts: 569 Member
    Run, don't walk away as fast as you can.
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
    help!! I recently reconnected with a guy that i knew in college. we were just friends back then but i always wanted something more and wasn't sure if he felt the same or not. now i know that he wanted me as much as i wanted him..... great!! wonderful!! sigh....

    bad part - he's married and has three kids that he adores. he and his wife are not very compatico but they stay together for the kids. i don't wanna break up a marriage but i don't wanna lose him again.. what do i do?

    I only read this message so I have no idea what advice others gave you. BUT my suggestion is you find someone else for you. Do Not get involved in his mess...You deserve to have someone without all the issues. If you do get with him it will not work to much baggage to much drama... PS there is no losing him again he is gone...
  • tangal88
    tangal88 Posts: 689
    walk away - but also - would you really want to be with a guy that would cheat on his wife, and the mother of his children?

    Whats that say about his commitment to his family, his vow to her, and to his kids?

    If he does it to her, he would also do it to you, if the "reason" was good enough. (one can always justify something if they want to bad enough)

    If the relationship is a non existent one, he can divorce her. And maybe look you up then.

    Or he can work on fixing it.

    But cheating helps no one except him. He would be the only winner.

    You certainly DO NOT need to be in the middle of their relationship.
  • MelanieL1984
    MelanieL1984 Posts: 46
    I think you got the vote from everyone. I would say walk away. You don't want to be that woman who broke the marriage apart. Say the marriage does fall apart while you are in the picture, then you are dating right off the bat, and the kids may grow to resent you because they may feel like you were the cause of the divorce...when it was other issues.

    I'm dealing with this with one of my step children right now. He is not angry with me by any means...I didn't come into the picture until 2 years after the divorce, but his mom left his dad for her boss that she is now married to. He has a lot of anger issues and completely disrespects him because he was a homewrecker to him.

    I wouldn't even stay friends. He could find you on facebook or whatever if he does get divorced.
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