Home Wrecker!!!

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245

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  • adk88
    adk88 Posts: 143 Member
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    Walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it. If it's meant to be, it will happen. (I know, I hate when people say that too, but it's true!)
  • Shanahan09
    Shanahan09 Posts: 97
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    Walk away. You don't want those kids to look at you as someone who has come between their Mom and Dad. He's not available, period!
  • adk88
    adk88 Posts: 143 Member
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    Walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it. If it's meant to be, it will happen. (I know, I hate when people say that too, but it's true!)
  • lydiareg
    lydiareg Posts: 6 Member
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    If he'll do it with you, he will do it to you!
  • thebamboophoenix
    thebamboophoenix Posts: 58 Member
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    You don't have him to lose 'again'. Best thing to do is walk away, hard as that will be. (Been there, done it)

    Aaaaah, they never seem to be 'very compatico' with their spouse...yet, they always stay...so it can't be that bad.

    I don't doubt that he wants you, but probably not for the same things you want. Sorry.
  • lunamare
    lunamare Posts: 569 Member
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    Run, don't walk away as fast as you can.
  • lunamare
    lunamare Posts: 569 Member
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    Run, don't walk away as fast as you can.
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
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    help!! I recently reconnected with a guy that i knew in college. we were just friends back then but i always wanted something more and wasn't sure if he felt the same or not. now i know that he wanted me as much as i wanted him..... great!! wonderful!! sigh....

    bad part - he's married and has three kids that he adores. he and his wife are not very compatico but they stay together for the kids. i don't wanna break up a marriage but i don't wanna lose him again.. what do i do?

    I only read this message so I have no idea what advice others gave you. BUT my suggestion is you find someone else for you. Do Not get involved in his mess...You deserve to have someone without all the issues. If you do get with him it will not work to much baggage to much drama... PS there is no losing him again he is gone...
  • tangal88
    tangal88 Posts: 689
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    walk away - but also - would you really want to be with a guy that would cheat on his wife, and the mother of his children?

    Whats that say about his commitment to his family, his vow to her, and to his kids?

    If he does it to her, he would also do it to you, if the "reason" was good enough. (one can always justify something if they want to bad enough)

    If the relationship is a non existent one, he can divorce her. And maybe look you up then.

    Or he can work on fixing it.

    But cheating helps no one except him. He would be the only winner.

    You certainly DO NOT need to be in the middle of their relationship.
  • MelanieL1984
    MelanieL1984 Posts: 46
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    I think you got the vote from everyone. I would say walk away. You don't want to be that woman who broke the marriage apart. Say the marriage does fall apart while you are in the picture, then you are dating right off the bat, and the kids may grow to resent you because they may feel like you were the cause of the divorce...when it was other issues.

    I'm dealing with this with one of my step children right now. He is not angry with me by any means...I didn't come into the picture until 2 years after the divorce, but his mom left his dad for her boss that she is now married to. He has a lot of anger issues and completely disrespects him because he was a homewrecker to him.

    I wouldn't even stay friends. He could find you on facebook or whatever if he does get divorced.
  • SexyChicWannaB
    SexyChicWannaB Posts: 6
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    wow.. thanks for the multitude of responses.. in my heart i knew the answer before i even posted this but hearing it from everyone else makes it real.. getting swept away in memories of the past kind of blasted away my self-respect... thanks for bringing me back to earth everyone!
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Please stay away. HE says they are only together for the kids. You never know what SHE would say/think/feel. Put yourself in her shoes...you wouldn't want someone to do that to you.

    Exactly. This happened to me. He told the girl our marriage was long over when in my mind it wasn't.
  • Kikilarue59
    Kikilarue59 Posts: 81 Member
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    Okay... The issue of you hooking up with him is this..
    He has a problem. That problem is HE is MARRIED. He is already hooked up whether you or he like it or not with someone else.
    If he is sincere about wanting to get together with you..
    He has to deal with HIS Problem. HE has to make the move and get Un hooked. with all the trials and tribulations that that ensues.
    This whole thing of creating another level of drama by getting together with you is bad news all around.
    DO NOT. get ensnared in HIS PROBLEM. DO NOT MAKe IT YOUR PROBLEM.

    Make him solve his problem befere you go any further.

    I say this for two reasons.

    1. By being the OTHER WOMAN. waiting in the wings while he is still married. you are already in a bad situation. his family and Kids will accuse you of braking up his marriage. YOU Don't want to become ensnared in that triangle. You will end up the loser.

    2. YOU just Plain deserve BETTER than to be second. Demand that for yourself if nothing else. He will either do it or he won't
    give it a timeline. SO you don't waste your life waiting, waiting, waiting. and stick to it.
  • Jean410
    Jean410 Posts: 104
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    Been through this before...

    Two words: Walk away.

    Me too. Respect yourself and walk away.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
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    Like everyone has said you already know...stay away...

    1. You can't build your happiness on other people's misery

    2. If you marry a man that cheated on his wife, you're married to man who'll cheat on his wife
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 617 Member
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    i think youre trolling the boards...no friends, zero pounds lost...you just join or are a troller...either way, youre boring me cause you already know the answer, if in fact, you are asking for real.
  • Purecity
    Purecity Posts: 115 Member
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    Stay away. Do not get involved. If he eventually gets a divorce and looks for you then that will be that.

    This.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    I think you know what you need to do or you wouldn't be asking us.

    I think you were hoping that we would help you justify this decision, but that is all you.

    There is a lot of gray area with emotions-- but there is not gray area with right or wrong here. He's married. He has KIDS.

    You deserve better than to be someone's second choice, his wife doesn't deserve to have you guys having this conversation behind her back, and those kids deserve the best those 2 can give them, regardless.

    Use your head on this one, lady.
  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
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    Don't go there. He's married and you know it's wrong. That's why you posted here. You want someone else to say it for you. Done. Find someone who's not sharing his life with someone else.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    Also, from the child of a man who went behind his wife's back for years and lived a lie for who knows how long, I can tell you that the wife wouldn't be the only ones you are hurting.

    Respect yourself enough to say no.

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