ladies: how can we compliment without it being creepy?

If you're complimenting a woman on a certain part of her body, like her abs, I think it's better to make it clear that you admire the hard work she has put in and that you're not just thinking she's hot. So I would say something like "Your abs look great. What kind of strength training are you doing?" You're complimenting her, but you're also indicating that you understand she didn't get abs like that by accident and, particularly on MFP, it shows that you are interested in her approach to fitness and not just what her body looks like in a photo.

Complimenting a woman in a random public place can be tricky. I like paying men compliments, whether it's on their appearance, their manners, whatever. And I do it to men of all ages, so it's not a method of flirting with me. I just enjoy making someone feel good about himself. Because that's how I view compliments, I don't get all judgy about a man who compliments me. I take it for what it is. But some women assume, oftentime based on their personal experiences, that men really only pay women compliments to flirt. So they get uneasy about it if they're not open to flirting.

I agree with you. I guess if you want to pay a compliment with opposite sex - do so with a honest heart and motive. Be mindful of about your 'choice of words' as if may sound odd or unbecoming to others. Go pay a compliment but don't try to mix it with any unnecessary lines to try to impress the person. There's a fine line between flirting and paying compliments. Keep it short and simple as the saying goes, 'when words are many, sin is not absent..' Just my opinion. ;-)

I'm surprised that many people have said that they don't really pay compliments to people who aren't on their friends list. I do it when the mood takes me on both the boards and PM, mostly with women I admit, but sometimes guys. It has never been taken the wrong way (well at least I presume so. I might be on some MFP Sex Offenders List for all I know with the Banning Sword of Damocles hovering inches above my head...)

As others have said I think context and intent are important. A compliment is a gift given freely without any expectation. I think people can sense on some level if you have an ulterior motive above that and if so that will creep them out.

I see complimenting simply as a way of being nice. It can have some nice side benefits though. I remember many years being in a late night bar in Tokyo and meeting a *ahem* dancer. She was showing me her dance moves and I told her "your Arabesque must be incredible." I said that because I genuinely believed she had an underlying grace to her movements. She then spent the next 20 minutes gushing about how she had wanted to be a ballet dance when she was younger and so on and so on. The next 72 hours proved to be very eventful...

I got a friend request from some random guy, as the message he put something like "I like your abs and body ", which creeped me out- I DEFINITELY don't think that only certain privileged people can speak to me! Comments like that just make me uncomfortable =/

See that? That crosses the line. I think it's the "body" part that he threw in. But just to say, "I like your abs" is still on the line. Saying "your abs look great" seems a little less invasive.

But to answer the OP's question: Yes, there are still those of us who appreciate a good compliment. I would hate it if that all stopped because some people can't just simply say "Thank you" and move on.

As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

hahahaha awesome.

Most inappropriate compliment I've received...

Walking by this guy and his friend, one nudges the other violently and goes UH! Ya know, that guttural Fresh Prince of Bel Air kinda.noise ?

And the other guy goes "Dayum, girl. What you say about being my next baby mama?!"



Classy.

I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?

Well I hope we've answered your questions. The answers were so obvious, I can't imagine why you didn't already know ...

It is totally dependent on whether you are creepy, whether you are acting creepy, whether you approach the person in public, whether they are having a good day, whether they are in fact wearing nice perfume, whether they think you are making inappropriate comments, whether your inappropriate comments were said nicely ... :laugh:

As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

I think you just made my WEEK. And I think I just snorted tea out of my nose. :laugh:

Of course

It's a lot about the delivery.

But if I were a man I wouldn't send a woman a message on here unless they were friends or had some sort of rapport.

The woman at the store thing is tricker. I guess you can probably tell when a woman is and is not to be approached.

I agree. If a man behind me told me he liked my perfume, I'd have to think he was hitting on me. Now if you said, "I love your perfume...do you mind if I ask what it is? I may want to buy it as a gift for someone.", that would be different. Otherwise, your motives will be in question, unfortunately.

You can always preface your comment with, "I'm not trying to be creepy or hit on you, but you've obviously worked hard to get those abs...nice work!" That wouldn't be creepy

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

This is one I struggle with. I steer clear of the physical appearance compliments in the real world unless I know the person well enough to where the intentions won't be misinterpreted.

I also shy away from the perfurme compliments, but there are times it is so intoxicating I want to know what it is. I was having dinner with my daughter a couple weeks ago and the perfume of the waitress was amazing. I wanted to ask but I didn't.

You should have asked. If she showed any sort of "offense" to a nice compliment, you just follow up with "my wife would love that". People are way too uptight about this stuff.

My daughter and I went to that restaurant on Wednesday and the same waitress was working. I hesitated but eventually asked her. Her perfume is Tommy Bahama. She thanked me when I told her it was nice.