Honest Question - Men & strip clubs

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  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,114 Member
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    I'd let friend deal with it.

    Duh. Ya think? *LOL* That's not the question :)

    Okay, now we're getting more specific!

    If it was my boyfriend, I'd have to have some limits agreed to for the relationship to continue.

    I'd get tested.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Every couple is different, but I would have a major problem with it.

    If you are doing your best to fulfill your man's "needs," then that ought to be enough for him, assuming he's truly in love with you. If it isn't, him being in a strip club on a regular basis is only going to make that situation worse. This "variety is the spice of life" crap makes me want to punch people in the throat. If you need "variety," clearly committed relationships are not for you, so get get your variety and leave the commitment for people who actually want it.

    Now, if you are NOT giving your man what he needs at home, I think you need to be doing something more productive than complaining about him going to strip clubs ... like doing your part in the bedroom, for starters.
  • CarrieJ85
    CarrieJ85 Posts: 106 Member
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    I had a boyfriend who was always at the strip clubs. It didn't bother me too much until I found out that he was also dating one of the strippers. Now I have a problem with dating guys who frequent them.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
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    I think your friend should be deciding if there is a problem with it, not you or a bunch of random people on an internet forum. *LOL*
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    If he has friends that work there it's probably no different in his eyes than going to the local pub where his buddies hang out. I've known guys that are friends with strippers and dudes that work at the clubs, and really, they're so not in to stripper *kitten*. They're truly just there to chill with their bros.


    If a dude is going to be shady/unfaithful/sneaky ... he's going to do it whether he's kickin' it at the strip joint or not.

    Bullseye. At some point it gets kind of old. Sure they look but after awhile it's just background noise. It's not like he's sitting at the front chair with a wad of 5s or 10s and rubbing his horny hands together *giddy*
  • rc12345
    rc12345 Posts: 17 Member
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    bottom line? It's the the friend's comfort level that should be examined here. If she feels uncomfortable in a relationship with someone who frequents strip clubs she should remove herself from the relationship. Whatever the reason, her man does not see a strip club the same way she does and that will cause major communication problems in the relationship.

    However, if she feels comfortable with her relationship and his viewpoint then she should stay. If she wants to. If she can handle his viewpoint and his lifestyle then they will not be in conflict over it.

    She shouldn't try to change him in an effort to stay in a relationship that may or may not work out. Nor should she expect him to change, only he can make a choice of that magnitude. It isn't fair to her and it isn't fair to him.
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
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    It's not like strip clubs only exist for one gender. Would it be any different if it was a woman spending time at a strip joint? If so, how?

    For those who think nothing good happens in strip clubs, how much college tuition do you think has been raised in those clubs?
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    It depends on the guy.

    Personally, I like going to strip clubs too, so it's only a problem if I'm not invited. :smile:
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,847 Member
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    I, myself, don't have issues with it at all. If my man went 2-3 times a month, I wouldn't care in the least. But we've already established that I don't have the most 'normal' opinions when it comes to my relationship. :laugh: I do, however, understand that many people do have an issue with it. I guess my biggest concern would be how much money is being spent. When my bf goes to the strip club, he doesn't really spend that much money. And if it's a night that he wants to have his own time (and we, as a family, don't have something planned), I don't see where I get a say in how he spends 'his' time. He doesn't get a say in how I spend my time, either.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
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    What do you think of Men that frequent strip clubs? Let's say, Guy in question has friends that work at the club, friend's wives/SOs that work at the club. So he goes frequently, stating it's no different than any other bar...

    Discuss. This is an honest question. I need an outside perspective to figure out my own feelings about it *LOL*
    Eventually he will pay money for sex...or he already has. Unless he happens to have the strongest willpower on the planet.

    Interesting. I've been to many strip clubs, and yet, not once have I paid for sex. I guess I possess the strongest willpower on the planet.
    You ARE paying, in overpriced drinks and with your reputation.

    The drinks part is true. But the reputation? Please. It's not like I'm there every Friday night. I go maybe once a year with some friends.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I think your friend should be deciding if there is a problem with it, not you or a bunch of random people on an internet forum. *LOL*

    Clearly, I will make a decision based on everyone's feedback here and force her to adhere to what I have decided.
  • killerqueen17
    killerqueen17 Posts: 536 Member
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    I think your friend should be deciding if there is a problem with it, not you or a bunch of random people on an internet forum. *LOL*

    Clearly, I will make a decision based on everyone's feedback here and force her to adhere to what I have decided.

    Good. Smart girl.

    (lol)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I think your friend should be deciding if there is a problem with it, not you or a bunch of random people on an internet forum. *LOL*

    Clearly, I will make a decision based on everyone's feedback here and force her to adhere to what I have decided.

    Good. Smart girl.

    (lol)

    *LOL* *smooches*


    It really just got me thinking on how I'd feel about it? I've never been in that situation... I guess my first thought was "That's expensive." Not of the fact there are naked women *LOL*
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
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    I've never understood strip clubs. I went when I was 19. Friend bought me lap dance from genuinely "smoking hot" woman. She grabbed me in a certain place and asked why I was so shy and "un-excited." I told her that if she was 10 times less attractive but doing this because she was into me, I would have already jumped her. This is why I hate strip clubs.

    Also, this may come as a surprise if you know me, but I dated a stripper. Her profession never bothered me and I had no desire to see her to her work. Granted I knew this relationship was going to last 2 months and existed for one reason, but I wouldn't have honestly cared about the 100 guys paying her for nakedness because she came home to me and gave me that and wayyyy more for free.
    /making me look like a jerk.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    Is your friend specifically not invited?
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    If he has friends that work there it's probably no different in his eyes than going to the local pub where his buddies hang out. I've known guys that are friends with strippers and dudes that work at the clubs, and really, they're so not in to stripper *kitten*. They're truly just there to chill with their bros.


    If a dude is going to be shady/unfaithful/sneaky ... he's going to do it whether he's kickin' it at the strip joint or not.

    I love you MK.

    I agree with this.
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
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    I have an honest question. If you must type lol in each of your replies, can it please not be in all caps? Perhaps drop the asterisks as well?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Is your friend specifically not invited?

    No! Welcome to go...
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I have an honest question. If you must type lol in each of your replies, can it please not be in all caps? Perhaps drop the asterisks as well?

    Nope! *LOL*
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    Is your friend specifically not invited?

    No! Welcome to go...

    I think this could be the most important factor. If she goes too, then it doesn't really seem like a big deal. Then if he goes once in a while without her, it's kind of whatever. If he doesn't want her to go at all, then I think that would be weird.

    I'm using them as an example, but I think it's a good general rule.

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